FabSwingers.com forum: Picky. Fussy. Choosy.

By *wist my nipples OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Why is our language around this so negative? What is negative about not being attracted to everyone, only meeting those you are attracted to, only doing the sex with people you want to? Why do people feel they have to justify their choices by framing it as being picky?

Full moon musings

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People use it in a negative way to justify why they can’t get laid

People use it in a positive way to justify why they don’t want to shag someone

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By *lymanMan
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

"People use it in a negative way to justify why they can’t get laid

People use it in a positive way to justify why they don’t want to shag someone

Think you've pretty much covered it

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Call it gaslighting just in case their reaction to that word is an even bigger red flag

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Why is our language around this so negative? What is negative about not being attracted to everyone, only meeting those you are attracted to, only doing the sex with people you want to? Why do people feel they have to justify their choices by framing it as being picky?

Full moon musings

Mrs TMN x"
people like to analyse everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because as human beings, our ego doesn't allow us to believe that there's something wrong with us. So we create something wrong with them to cushion the blow of rejection.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Because as human beings, our ego doesn't allow us to believe that there's something wrong with us. So we create something wrong with them to cushion the blow of rejection."
very good

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I don't know. And I was toying with this as a thread so great minds and all of that.

I have to admit when I read the words "picky", "fussy" or "choosy"... more oft than not I think, 'really?'. They're wanky terms in my mind. In my mind because I know others have no issue with using them and that's fine. Undoubtedly it's because of confirmation bias that I see those words as being rather grim.

I guess to a certain extent we all like to believe or at least market ourselves as being selective. Having good taste. Not "fucking anyone" because heaven forbid we'd do such a thing.

I think it's great when people have standards. Not, as sometimes it can be used, to imply a certain superiority.

It's such a subjective, personal term.

I think people choose and have every right to choose who they have sex with.

That doesn't make them picky/fussy/choosy, whether it's being weaponised because someone is excluded from being chosen or touted as a way of saying they won't have sex with anyone.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Men complaining about not getting laid because women are too picky is total incel behaviour.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm a fussy eater. It's negative but also neutral. I don't take offense to it or care that I have been called a "negative" word.

Why? Because I am. I am a fussy eater.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Call it gaslighting just in case their reaction to that word is an even bigger red flag

Catfish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a funny thing.

I am picky, in that my time is limited and I want to spend it with people I really like, where's there is mutual attraction and chemistry.

Although, I also have times when I feel I possibly have no right to be in that there's a whole world of women out there better than me in many ways.

Ultimately why would anyone have sex with someone they don't fancy though? Where would the fun be in that?

The language is really irrelevant but people do choose to focus on it quite heavily because maybe, it makes them feel better.

Humans are beautifully complex and fragile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the British way and telling someone the truth is just not cricket.

We lived abroad for some time and the people there could not believe how many times we would say "sorry" and "Thank you" in every conversation.

We stand in line all day just to tell someone in a soft, gentle, pink and fluffy way we are not interested.

Look at how many threads appear on here by those offended or complaining they don't get a reply..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don’t get the thought process as why you’d want to just meet someone who literally meets anyone and miss out on all the chemistry, fun, flirting, connection, compatibility, personally I enjoy everything before sex just as much if not more than the actual sex itself …. But that’s just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of you have covered it beautifully.

I'm fussy. I'm not skinny because I'm a fussy eater lol just before someone points that out...

Everyone has the right to pick what they want, who they want and frankly, I've been rejected more times than many others yet again, I've been accepted more times than many others...

It's funny though, being picky is more often a negative term for knowing what we like...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no idea why. It’sa good thought

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

It's all dependent at how the words mean to you, I see them as a positive, if I'm not picky, I'd fuck them all.

I like picky men, as I want to be chosen, not just be an acceptable fuck because I have a vag

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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

These words are not really anything other than defensive words/expressions. Picky, Fussy, fake, timewaster etc etc.

When people tell you they are blocking you as some kind punishment for some crime like saying no.

Nobody likes rejection on any level and we try and rationalise it in diferent ways, it is our instictive defensive reaction, not getting maybe a job you wanted or the response to a quip. They are too picky or humourless bunch.

Worse on sites like this as there are egos and entitled attitudes to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glory holes remove the need to be fussy

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By *layisbetterwithLaughterMan
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Gawd this is such a good question. Broadly speaking I think we are entering into some existence where you can only be for or against something. So if you don't find someone attractive, you must find them unattractive. It's utter rubbish, we are all looking for something and not everyone fits the bill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not picky.

Its preference.

The negative element shows a lack of understanding in my eyes.

You wouldn’t go to a bar and speak to people or have to justify why you wouldn’t sleep with someone.

Why does that change just because you’re on a swinging platform.

Rather simple logic and manners in my eyes

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Glory holes remove the need to be fussy "

I think a lot of men on here consider every woman (or man) tk be a glory hole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This Disney reboot of Snow White goes from bad to worse ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have 10 different steaks in front of you and you pick the prime fillet over the braising steak you are not fussy, you are a connoisseur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have 10 different steaks in front of you and you pick the prime fillet over the braising steak you are not fussy, you are a connoisseur.

Eloquently said!

Here here!

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"If you have 10 different steaks in front of you and you pick the prime fillet over the braising steak you are not fussy, you are a connoisseur.

Perfectly put, a Big Mac is fine if you don’t have much choice but given the option a delicious steak is always going to win out.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

"Glory holes remove the need to be fussy "

It just closing your eyes is simple as well. I read that in the Google

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m just picky about what day of the week you were born on.

Tell me that’s negative or positive

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I'm not sure I consider the word picky to be negative, it depends on the context.

I suppose it is negative for the ones who aren't picked? But then that's not necessarily true either?

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We see it as having a preference. You know what you like, you know the people you probably won’t get on with.

Some people are looking for people similar to themselves and that’s their preference. It’s not picky in our view.

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