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Toilet etiquette in the workplace

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

OK so i know this is a sex site but i have just gotten back from the bogs a short while ago. Does anyone else feel apprehensive about using the dunnies at work? I'm not talking about going for a wee but i mean a full on dump.

I never normally use them for anything other that a wee but earlier on i was sat at my desk and the pains came over me. 'Bugger' i though i'm gonna have to go and use the works crappers.

I walked in ,did a quick scout around luckily no one was in there so i quickly went into one of the traps and pulled down my kecks to let one go. All of a sudden the door to the toilets open and someone walks in. The bloke (bearing in mind there are 5 other empty traps) takes the one RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO ME!!(i mean...why???). He then proceeds to plonk himself on the bog and let go one of the wettest sounding pan splattering shits i've ever heard in my life followed by a couple of squeaky wet farts and a satisfied groan.

The smell was VILE and fucking acrid and due to all this i got stage fright and was unable to crap myself, despite needing one.

I know i should have gone shit for shit with this monster but his pre-emptive cack caught me so off guard and had me chicken legging all over the ring of combat. There was no way i was going to be able to dump so i pulled up my trousers and went to wash my hands.

As i was washing them the door opens and out steps this filthy, fat bearded ricky tomlinson lookalike and he walked straight out without washing his hands!!!!!...how mank???

I started to gag and someone else walked in and had a look that said 'who the fuck has died in here??'. The fact that i smelt his poo and probably a few stray particles still makes me gag as i sit here now. Oh and i still needed a shit when i walked out but that twat has ruined it for me and i now have to try and hold it til i get home. Or i might try another set of shutters but the whole experience has made me apprehensive but it be got a turtles head.

Anyone else had any bad experiences using the works crappers? I thought it was an unwritten rule never to use the trap next to one that was taken if others are free? I hope i don't see the guy again tomorrow otherwise i will gag again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^Shit story.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Dear OP, if you feel rather impassioned about this why not just wear TENA™ pants? That way you avoid the workplace latrines.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard! "

Scat's life.

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By *ebauchery DivineWoman
over a year ago

Down in Dickleburgh Drive

oh dear lord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post has honestly made my day! Thank you so much for the biggest belly laugh I've had in a while, OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wetting myself!

Etiquette also dictates that he should have waited for you to wash your hands and leave before exiting his cubicle so you never need to look eachother in the eye. Heathen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I never normally use them but only when the real pains come over me. I’ve got a colleague who SWEARS by shitting at work

He worked out how much the company pays him to shit. He clearly didn't have enough to do. It was based on his salary, time taken actually going for a shit, allowing time for the post crap sigh and ‘afterthought’ and everything. Totted the total time up on average per year, then based on his salary and working hours came up with a figure he called 'crap salary'. Basically how much money our company pays him each year to take a shyte. And he wonders why his role is being fucking offshored!!

The cleaners and staff are weird here too. I remember once walking into the bogs and this little guy , he was like a little limpet all hunched over and shit saying ‘look at all the fucking crap down there dirty cunts!’, so I looked into the trap he was talking about and it was totally clean. He also took a j cloth, wipes around the inside of a pube ridden urinal (no gloves) squeezed the j cloth out and then wiped round the other side.

Need a new job I think

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

If some bugger at work tries the door when I’m on the throne they are made aware tickets for the show are available from the box office

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old job there was several loos I could use and one I would use for an emergency number 2 if had to go but my new job, the toilet is within the reception, back office areas and I wouldn't feel comfortable going as A noise and B I know that someone would press the buzzer for attention as soon as I started. Not unless I absolutely had too.

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coulda been worse fella.

There could have been only one trap, and you’d have had to follow the thunder dumper after he’d finished raining the turdy apocalypse.

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By *alldarkandharmlessMan
over a year ago

Ross on Wye

I love shitting at work knowing that I'm getting paid in the process.

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By *usie pTV/TS
over a year ago

taunton

I used to help out friends occasionally at their carvan park if you think the gents toilets were bad the womens were often worse.

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

When you gotta go, you gotta go right?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"^Shit story."

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"OK so i know this is a sex site but i have just gotten back from the bogs a short while ago. Does anyone else feel apprehensive about using the dunnies at work? I'm not talking about going for a wee but i mean a full on dump.

I never normally use them for anything other that a wee but earlier on i was sat at my desk and the pains came over me. 'Bugger' i though i'm gonna have to go and use the works crappers.

I walked in ,did a quick scout around luckily no one was in there so i quickly went into one of the traps and pulled down my kecks to let one go. All of a sudden the door to the toilets open and someone walks in. The bloke (bearing in mind there are 5 other empty traps) takes the one RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO ME!!(i mean...why???). He then proceeds to plonk himself on the bog and let go one of the wettest sounding pan splattering shits i've ever heard in my life followed by a couple of squeaky wet farts and a satisfied groan.

The smell was VILE and fucking acrid and due to all this i got stage fright and was unable to crap myself, despite needing one.

I know i should have gone shit for shit with this monster but his pre-emptive cack caught me so off guard and had me chicken legging all over the ring of combat. There was no way i was going to be able to dump so i pulled up my trousers and went to wash my hands.

As i was washing them the door opens and out steps this filthy, fat bearded ricky tomlinson lookalike and he walked straight out without washing his hands!!!!!...how mank???

I started to gag and someone else walked in and had a look that said 'who the fuck has died in here??'. The fact that i smelt his poo and probably a few stray particles still makes me gag as i sit here now. Oh and i still needed a shit when i walked out but that twat has ruined it for me and i now have to try and hold it til i get home. Or i might try another set of shutters but the whole experience has made me apprehensive but it be got a turtles head.

Anyone else had any bad experiences using the works crappers? I thought it was an unwritten rule never to use the trap next to one that was taken if others are free? I hope i don't see the guy again tomorrow otherwise i will gag again"

Is this AI shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is amazing

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Better out than in OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve blocked a few bogs in my time. Had to revisit a few in the workplace.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Drop the kids off at the work pool op

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’d give it 10mins before replying to this

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I’d give it 10mins before replying to this "

Least spray some frebreeze

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By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Missed out on a good game of battle shits there

But from what you described you wasn’t in his league

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"I’d give it 10mins before replying to this

Least spray some frebreeze "

You mean FABreeze surely

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Next time it happens,go to the toilet exit door,shout "this will be great on you tube" then leave quickly.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

No, I have the luxury of a RADAR key and my own, almost exclusive, lavatory facilities. The few benefits of disability

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London


"^Shit story."

It genuinely made me laugh

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I’d give it 10mins before replying to this

Least spray some frebreeze

You mean FABreeze surely "

Rex yep your right, the smell of desperation and self pity, covers up any shit. it's the blokes toilets after all...

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I hope you don't work in McDonalds

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds "

^^ she does posh poos

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos "

I'm more concerned about his colleague not washing his hands.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos

I'm more concerned about his colleague not washing his hands."

^^ she doesn’t do posh poos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos "

What denotes a ‘posh poo’?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos

What denotes a ‘posh poo’?"

Wet wipes and a biday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos

What denotes a ‘posh poo’?

Wet wipes and a biday"

A bidet

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos

What denotes a ‘posh poo’?"

One where you wipe your arse with your little pinky pointing out

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Well this was a good read. Reminds me of Viz mag.

I am the only female in work with 40+ men and I have one cubical to myself I’ve put some scented reed things and nice hand wash, cream in there. I had a cupboard installed for my tampons and wet wipes.

I always get paid to poo though, never in my break!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume you are aware that at least 6 of those men use your cubicle because you have made it so appealing.

At my office I always opt for the dingiest looking toilet with the flickering light as I assume that will have the least footfall.

#PaidToPoo

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There’s also a problem with guys wiping bogeys on the wall above the urinals at our place.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard! "

Have you never jumped to another stool pun in tended to find paper to wipe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There’s also a problem with guys wiping bogeys on the wall above the urinals at our place. "

Where the fuck do you work?!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I hope you don't work in McDonalds

^^ she does posh poos

What denotes a ‘posh poo’?

Wet wipes and a biday

A bidet "

Pronounced buh-day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Funny story.

Liveable shit , you put up with it.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Too many workplaces have shit toilets. Which ironically I can't shit in.

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

In my work there is a toilet for all staff for just pees, but in a corridor further up there are different loos for males and females for number twos.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Also the cleaners need to get better in this place. Fucking winds me up a few weeks ago when I last shat at work I was so desperate I didn’t check if there was loo roll so I did the business and there was no loo roll in there to wipe after! So I had to fucking sit there and wait for it to go hard!

Have you never jumped to another stool pun in tended to find paper to wipe."

I actually did this recently but we have sprayers so not that bad just not thing to dry but then I remembered what Taylor says ….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, can't do it. Normally, I will walk over to Starbucks if there is an emergency otherwise, I can wait until I get home.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Dear OP, if you feel rather impassioned about this why not just wear TENA™ pants? That way you avoid the workplace latrines."

But he would become the mobile latrine, foisting his aromas around the place

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