FabSwingers.com forum: This chat's a bit crap isn't it?

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

I've been talking to a friend this evening about lacklustre chat.

What do you say when faced with it? What do you do?

I'm of the camp that they're just not too fussed/better in person. He believes they're frightful bores.

Is it always a sign of being incompatible with a person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they’re not good at chatting I ignore them and don’t message them often or I give them dead replies until they stop messaging me if I don’t want to be rude

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Sometimes it’s just somebody* having an off day.

(*Me. I’m the problem it’s me. Sometimes I have crap chat.)

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By *tudentForFunMan
over a year ago

Craigavon

It’s always hard to convey tone and that over text and I think it often feels like people have a text personality then their own lol, some people just aren’t big texters either so always better to see how they are in person or on a call before thinking they’re not for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually just stop replying

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By *apidaryMan
over a year ago

Chipping Norton

Lacklustre chat in person? The gold standard of incompatibility.

Lacklustre chat electronically? Unpredictable. I've had wonderful conversations with people online and not hit it off in person, and vice versa. Seems a bit like physical chemistry - all that leads up to it can give you a good idea, but is never a guarantee in either direction.

Some people are bores and are hugely to be avoided. Other times it's just a question of whether two peoples' style clicks; no judgement on either of them if it doesn't. (If it does, though, the world's suddenly a richer and more enticing place.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean text based chat?

In my case it’s probably because the football is on and I’m more interested in that.

But, tbh, the whole concept of endless messaging can get a bit tedious, if you’ve got lots to say pick up the phone. That’s what unlimited minute tariffs are for

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

In life, I like a bit of zest and enthusiasm in a conversation.

Trying to talk to monosyllabic individuals is incredibly laborious.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I usually just stop replying "

*checks messages

Oh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually just stop replying "

I think we are a good match.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’ll be honest there are people I enjoy face to face chat with who are shit on messaging, so I invest the energy I get back, and sometimes dumb down/stop replying. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to chat, it’s just a self protective move if they’re giving me nothing. It’s sad, as I am an attentive messenger online and in person, but fuck me, I’m not carrying it all or allowing myself to feel a dick.

Shrugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll be honest there are people I enjoy face to face chat with who are shit on messaging, so I invest the energy I get back, and sometimes dumb down/stop replying. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to chat, it’s just a self protective move if they’re giving me nothing. It’s sad, as I am an attentive messenger online and in person, but fuck me, I’m not carrying it all or allowing myself to feel a dick.

Shrugs. "

Face to face chat with you

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I usually just stop replying

*checks messages

Oh."

Just keep sending messages.thats what I do! Wear her down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually just stop replying

*checks messages

Oh."

It didn't even warrant a reply though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them."

Hey

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.

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By *ctualhungladMan
over a year ago

Preston

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been talking to a friend this evening about lacklustre chat.

What do you say when faced with it? What do you do?

I'm of the camp that they're just not too fussed/better in person. He believes they're frightful bores.

Is it always a sign of being incompatible with a person?

I'm relieved. Their time could be much better spent chatting to someone else.

I don't think it necessarily shows incompatibility. I prefer to chat in person so I can make an excuse and leave when their eyes glaze over and they start poking their head with a fork.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

I put the same effort in as what they do. And if I’m getting 1 word replies i don’t put any effort in at all. I might as well talk to myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's tricky on here as I like a wider range of emojis and GIFs and memes. I am magnificent at making a sexy chat unsexy, it's like a superpower! If a conversation/attraction starts to feel one-sided I'll let it die though.

Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"It didn't even warrant a reply though! "

Gotta admit, sometimes no reply is a relief.

Not every conversation has to keep going and going and going. It’s okay for them to end.

A chat coming to a close doesn’t mean ‘fuck off’ or ‘I’m not interested’. You can still talk more another time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you."

Hairy too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It didn't even warrant a reply though!

Gotta admit, sometimes no reply is a relief.

Not every conversation has to keep going and going and going. It’s okay for them to end.

A chat coming to a close doesn’t mean ‘fuck off’ or ‘I’m not interested’. You can still talk more another time."

That's one way of fucking me off I guess!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you."

Off to Google a dingleberry

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm"

Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"That's one way of fucking me off I guess!

Now you’re just *trying* to make me message you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's one way of fucking me off I guess!

Now you’re just *trying* to make me message you."

Oh, I don't try with anyone.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm

Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?

Is somebody gagged?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry"

Urban dictionary is your friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry

Urban dictionary is your friend

I laughed, probably too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Hairy too"

She’s about 2 days away from her growing phase. She’s a lot more fun to be around but looks like a yeti for the next 6 months.

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By *oodfella54321Man
over a year ago

Sale

I can usually tell when she’s not interested (which is mostly all the time) as it’s one word answers and never any attempt to get into a conversation x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm

Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?

Is somebody gagged? "

Umm I thought my sexy chat was unsexy too but I pulled a hot bird!

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

*No, it's you that's worried that there are a few people on this thread that you chat to, but not very often*

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Seriously though, back to Meli.

If all I'm getting is weak ass short as shit messages back, no detail or effort after me trying to poke the convo back to life then I'm done.

Now, I generally assume it's no interest but sometimes they are just a bore anyway. Sometimes both!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry

Urban dictionary is your friend

I laughed, probably too much.

You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seriously though, back to Meli.

If all I'm getting is weak ass short as shit messages back, no detail or effort after me trying to poke the convo back to life then I'm done.

Now, I generally assume it's no interest but sometimes they are just a bore anyway. Sometimes both! "

What about the 3rd option, no spoons?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She just stops replying........

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry

Urban dictionary is your friend

I laughed, probably too much.

You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?

She is a special one isn't she

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry

Urban dictionary is your friend

I laughed, probably too much.

You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?

Buckle up baby

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Mmmmm mmmm mm m mmmmmmmm

Mmm mmmmm mm mmmm?

Is somebody gagged?

Umm I thought my sexy chat was unsexy too but I pulled a hot bird!

Yes! Don't worry though, I'll manage to friendzone you in no time! (my other superpower)

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

One of the reasons we only meet at clubs and large socials is due to the fact I’m terrible at chatting online .

if it wasn’t for clubs and socials we probably wouldn’t have meets as people would think we weren’t interested or ignorant .

I just struggle having conversations online ..

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I tend to warn people in advance that I’m crap at messaging. I turn off notifications so only know I’ve got messages when I check WhatsApp and can take a day or so to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry

Urban dictionary is your friend

I laughed, probably too much.

You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?

She is a special one isn't she "

Just when you think you’ve got her worked out she hangs on your arse hair and you’ve got to go back to the drawing board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send them a face pic. That usually gets rid of them.

Hey

You’re like a dingleberry. There’s no shaking you.

Off to Google a dingleberry

Urban dictionary is your friend

I laughed, probably too much.

You’re the first person to like being called a dingleberry. Have I pulled?

Buckle up baby"

That’s the strap on, isn’t it?

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

To be fair if I’m putting chat in and not getting much back I tend to leave it alone

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Put it this way, there are a huge section of people with the personal note of "fucking boring"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people aren't great at texting and are better in person. And others have no personality whatsoever. It's a risky game figuring out which one it is, so its easier to match their energy and let the conversation run dry.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

While I'd admit some people are not great at chatting online and better in person, I don't like feeling as if I'm carrying her conversation.

When the messaging has been subpar with lack of proper engagement from the other side, I just tend to leave it.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"While I'd admit some people are not great at chatting online and better in person, I don't like feeling as if I'm carrying her conversation.

When the messaging has been subpar with lack of proper engagement from the other side, I just tend to leave it."

*the* conversation

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By *ilth N KinkCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I’ve had this thought this evening. I’m quite a chatty person but struggle when I seem to be the one doing most of the chatting, like when I message I always try and ask questions to get the chat going and normally I type a lot more than one or two lines, then when I get a three or four word message back and clearly there’s nothing I can comment on I get very frustrated.

Guess I should learn to write people off quicker but I like to try and give people a chance.

For me communication is very attractive and important.

Kink (f)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Oh another thing!

There are people, whom shall remain nameless (me!) that tend to just take paragraphs to say something when only a single sentence was required. When you put that next to the one word wonders, it can feel quite polarising and maybe that's where a lot of the disconnect comes from.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Sometimes I'm the boring one who struggles to think, so I tell them I'm tired and will carry on the conversation at another time.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I like sporadic messages. I like men who play it cool. Unless I’ve met them and I’m hankering hardcore for their cock.

Endless messaging is a bit of a chore, and I find it a bit needy. Unless we have met, whereupon I like consistent messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh another thing!

Calm down JK Rowling.

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By *an de LyonMan
over a year ago

welling

I struggle to find the line between genuine chat to flirty to explicit. And as a man I don’t want to be the one to ruin what might be a nice platonic chat by going too far too soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh another thing!

Right, what's DF done now?

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I like messaging with people that don't need an instant reply. These types of chats have longevity.

Love a bit of heat of the moment too of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we're talking about messages then I just assume they're not interested, especially as I try to put thoughts into my replies. They don't have to go back and forth constantly but as long as there's a conversation there, that's all that matters.

It could also be that we just don't have that much in common so can't find stuff to talk about

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

What's boring tends to be subjective, so I'd lean toward compatibility.

I'd been chatting to someone a while. It seemed all she did was talk about herself and her work incessantly. I stuck with it, for some reason. Then all of a sudden, after like 2-3 weeks she started wanting to know about me, rather than just talking at me.

Turns out it's just part of her neurospiciness. She's actually really cool.

I could have written her off as self-absorbed. Not me though, I'm not the kind of guy to write off someone just for their personality, not when they have an amazing ass.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

No can't deal with shit chat. If you can't chat, at least be a little weird for fun!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft! "

The whole thread was boring, she just left.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!

The whole thread was boring, she just left."

Typical Meli

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!

The whole thread was boring, she just left.

Typical Meli "

Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!

The whole thread was boring, she just left.

Typical Meli

Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez."

Dickmatized

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!

The whole thread was boring, she just left.

Typical Meli

Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez.

Dickmatized "

Sinking in to the dicksand.

(I could keep this up all night)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Did Meli just drop a grenade and fuck off? Pfft!

The whole thread was boring, she just left.

Typical Meli

Alright, alright. I got dickstrated. Sorry okay? Sorry for putting my quim first. Geez.

Dickmatized

Sinking in to the dicksand.

(I could keep this up all night)"

That's what she said!

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"*No, it's you that's worried that there are a few people on this thread that you chat to, but not very often*

Oh YOLO! You're grand. I think.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"I've been talking to a friend this evening about lacklustre chat.

What do you say when faced with it? What do you do?

I'm of the camp that they're just not too fussed/better in person. He believes they're frightful bores.

Is it always a sign of being incompatible with a person?

Depends on my mood but usually if I’m not feeling a spark then I let the chat disappear into the ether as I don’t feel we’d be compatible.

But sometimes there’s an extra spark of intrigue so I’ll take a chance and meet…you don’t have to chat to have a good time in the bedroom

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Oh another thing!

And me.

Alas.

I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?

I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Oh another thing!

And me.

Alas.

I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?

I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate."

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Oh another thing!

And me.

Alas.

I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?

I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate."

Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm hard work to chat to....... Interesting!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"*No, it's you that's worried that there are a few people on this thread that you chat to, but not very often*

We have top chats. With big gaps. This is fine.

Oh, you didn't mean me.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Oh another thing!

And me.

Alas.

I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?

I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate.

Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm hard work to chat to....... Interesting! "

Possibly. I know I am. I'm either very much in the chat with full waffle or I'm not at all and it's probably like drawing blood from a mountain. I'd like to think the right people for me don't think I am.

They kind of understand my idiosyncrasies, know why I communicate in a particular style.

Maybe it's about remaining open to learning another's style.

Obviously there's just general incompatibility. Sometimes people don't click and that's fine.

Other times it's more about giving each other space to communicate in an authentic way that's best for us. Whether it's waffling or stoicism.

This has been interesting, it's something I need to remember more oft.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We’re a bit crap at messages.

Probs not much better in real life really?

Good job one of us is real pretty

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"We’re a bit crap at messages.

Probs not much better in real life really?

Good job one of us is real pretty

You're better at video calls in the bath. That's your forte, stick with it.

Yeah she is.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Oh another thing!

And me.

Alas.

I can joke about it because I know I'm prone to waffling and sometimes people just reply with short answers. That's fine. It's more about the feeling, you know?

I don't want to only talk to people who are like me in messaging styles. I like the myriad of ways people communicate.

Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm hard work to chat to....... Interesting!

They kind of understand my idiosyncrasies, know why I communicate in a particular style.

Maybe it's about remaining open to learning another's style.

Obviously there's just general incompatibility. Sometimes people don't click and that's fine.

Other times it's more about giving each other space to communicate in an authentic way that's best for us. Whether it's waffling or stoicism.

This has been interesting, it's something I need to remember more oft."

I think a large part of my waffle problem is when I get a thought of something I want to say, I kind of just say it.

"oh I want to say this to that person, I'll just say it" despite them not having replied to the past 3 messages. Thankfully most of the people I want to say stuff to seem to put up with it.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"We’re a bit crap at messages.

Probs not much better in real life really?

Good job one of us is real pretty

You're better at video calls in the bath. That's your forte, stick with it.

Yeah she is.

You love a rubber….

I’m the pretty one!!!

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