FabSwingers.com forum: You get what you give.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or do you?

A bit of a deep post so feel free to skip by!

I've had a very turbulent few days and the one thing I've learnt is that I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

However, I'm not convinced others do. Now obviously you don't give to receive but it does make you wonder if it's supposed to reflect back after all?

So do you get what you give?

If you are positive, does positivity come your way?

If your vibe (check me down with the kids with that word) is negative, does it attract more negativity?

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Nope. You don't get what you give. You give unconditionally with no expectations. And most of the time that love isn't returned. Not always but more often than not.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved or treating people the way you want to be treated. If people aren't treating me that way then I generally put it down to us not being compatible.

It does depend if its a new friendship or an existing one though. If someone used to treat me a certain way and their behaviour changes, I'll question it. If it carries on, I'm likely to walk away. Already being a friend isn't a pass for being a shit.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

Think I went a bit off tangent OP, sorry. I couldn't remember what the rest of the questions were

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Or do you?

A bit of a deep post so feel free to skip by!

I've had a very turbulent few days and the one thing I've learnt is that I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

However, I'm not convinced others do. Now obviously you don't give to receive but it does make you wonder if it's supposed to reflect back after all?

So do you get what you give?

If you are positive, does positivity come your way?

If your vibe (check me down with the kids with that word) is negative, does it attract more negativity? "
The bit with the negativity yes of course it does you give out negative vibes you get them back. As for the love part just because you love someone doesn't me they love you

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Or do you?

A bit of a deep post so feel free to skip by!

I've had a very turbulent few days and the one thing I've learnt is that I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

However, I'm not convinced others do. Now obviously you don't give to receive but it does make you wonder if it's supposed to reflect back after all?

So do you get what you give?

If you are positive, does positivity come your way?

If your vibe (check me down with the kids with that word) is negative, does it attract more negativity? The bit with the negativity yes of course it does you give out negative vibes you get them back. As for the love part just because you love someone doesn't me they love you

"
doesn't mean

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By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London

I am positive because life isn't a practice for anything else. It is good for me.

If someone wants to wish their life away being negative that is their choice, I just don't want to be part of it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I would not describe myself as a positive person, but positivity comes my way.

I love the way I love because that's the way I love. The people who love me love the way they love because that's the way they love. I've known and loved some wonderful people over the years whose love was just not compatible with mine, and we had to part ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my humble experience, you very rarely get what you give across all elements of life, love / family, career and friendships.

Saying that, I have also had a turbulent couple of weeks at work, and at home / family so maybe my view is slightly skewed.

Thank goodness for my rock, Tom.

xx Jess

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

always positive,, dont want negative around me

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By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

"Or do you?

A bit of a deep post so feel free to skip by!

I've had a very turbulent few days and the one thing I've learnt is that I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

However, I'm not convinced others do. Now obviously you don't give to receive but it does make you wonder if it's supposed to reflect back after all?

So do you get what you give?

If you are positive, does positivity come your way?

If your vibe (check me down with the kids with that word) is negative, does it attract more negativity? "

I do believe that people will subconsciously reflect another persons energy or vibe, so in that sense yes you do get what you give. However one of best bits of advice I have ever been given is that you can only control what you give. There is no happiness in trying to control what other people do.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

For me it's all about how I feel at a particular moment.

I don't seek out negativity, but if it finds me, sometimes I'm open to it and sometimes it bounces off me without leaving a mark.

The same is true when I am feeling positive and throw some of those positive vibes in the direction of others.

Some choose to play along and return serve while others can't be arsed and just concede.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've given myself completely to someone before to just have it ripped apart. So no, you don't.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Particularly regarding the last two points yes I think on the whole that is true. And then they reinforce it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion, if you’re giving in hopes of receiving rather than giving unconditionally because it feels good to give; you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

You can only control what you do not what others do. Give because it’s what you want to do not with an expectation of getting anything in return. To me, that’s where the positivity/negativity can occur. Either you give and remain positive knowing you gave your all and that feels good, or you give and work yourself up on hopes of receiving to the same measure. Doing so ultimately robs you of happiness because you’ve told yourself your happiness lies in receiving in equal measure.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I think negative attracts negative.

But positivity doesn’t always attract the same back.

I don’t think anyone gives back what I give. To anything to be honest work/friendship…. But I really wouldn’t really expect it because I have no limit button. Especially work wise.

Generally people are good to me & that’s good enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww hugs your posts are always wonderful and your beautiful so chin up your a shine light around here in dark times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think negative attracts negative.

But positivity doesn’t always attract the same back.

I don’t think anyone gives back what I give. To anything to be honest work/friendship…. But I really wouldn’t really expect it because I have no limit button. Especially work wise.

Generally people are good to me & that’s good enough."

Agreed!

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By *ycanNightsMan
over a year ago

Workington

I don't give to receive...I don't think that how love works...with some metaphorical tally sheets.

But I do believe you know when your loved and valued in return.

Every person , dynamic , relationship will be different and you'll know when it's feels right for you.

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By *lexm87Man
over a year ago

Various

I don't have anything brilliantly useful to contribute except you aren't alone in feeling let down.

All you can do is have a big mug of tea, a snack, and head out into the world.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I don't think you do, I know incredibly happy, positive people, but they've been dealt a shit hand in life. And equally there are some absolute bastards who always seem to land on their feet in a bed of roses!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Or do you?

A bit of a deep post so feel free to skip by!

I've had a very turbulent few days and the one thing I've learnt is that I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

However, I'm not convinced others do. Now obviously you don't give to receive but it does make you wonder if it's supposed to reflect back after all?

So do you get what you give?

If you are positive, does positivity come your way?

If your vibe (check me down with the kids with that word) is negative, does it attract more negativity? "

Great post.

1. You say ....I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

I say .... People need to cared for or 'loved' the way the other person needs to be cared for or loved. Your needs are not theirs.

2. You say , ' Is it supposed to reflect back at all ?'

I say Yes ..... if it doesn't come back in some form then you will feel the pain of giving and never being given to. e.g. the love is unrequited and will die. Love and care are reciprocal or they die.

3. You say..... ' If you are positive does positivity come your way' Yes , but most times it's your own positivity. It takes a lot of positivity to get a teeny sprinkling back. Especially if you are showering it over negative folk.

4. You say ' Does a negative vibe attract more negativity?'

I say ..... much the same as above but a sour face and attitude do prevent even the most positive people approaching as negative personas don't look approachable so .... again you get your own negativity which keeps others away.

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Or do you?

A bit of a deep post so feel free to skip by!

I've had a very turbulent few days and the one thing I've learnt is that I care the way I wish to be cared for. I love the way I want to be loved.

However, I'm not convinced others do. Now obviously you don't give to receive but it does make you wonder if it's supposed to reflect back after all?

So do you get what you give?

If you are positive, does positivity come your way?

If your vibe (check me down with the kids with that word) is negative, does it attract more negativity? "

No answer OP but hope the days still to come are calmer for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally believe what you give out to the universe it will give you it back. Maybe not in the same way but in a similar fashion.

If you do good to people and this is not reciprocated as you think fit, then karma will step in. You may never see it but it will and does happen.

Stay positive and dont let others draw you into their negativity or down to their levels.

Stay true to yourself and leave revenge, retribution etc to Karma and the Universe. Life has given us enough to deal with without the worry of what others are doing or the way they are behaving.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Opposite the less i give of myself the more people try be my friend im talking real life it gets quite annoying but i guess thats my inner karl pilkington

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don't know, it's all about the company we keep I think. And people can take some time to work out. I think some people can give a bit, then take a bit and alternate it etc... I am attracted to constancy and integrity in the people I care about being with. People who can multitask!

When I want bad I go to my kink. I have a dom who isn't really a giving person at all, but I've learnt to see his good side. A lot of people are like that I think. The hardest thing is seeing yourself imo - if I had a penny for the changeable people I've known who've said they had a "heart of gold"! How often is the key. The little some people do often seems to go such a long way in their eyes! Gold to me is unchanging you see. I sometimes think if only they spotted it more in others. But maybe to them the heart of gold is just a euphemism for the hidden kindness that lies behind the changeable exterior. But that exterior could be all that a lot of other people get to experience is the rub.

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