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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think?" Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism 
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive 
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think?" You’re the first person I’ve seen actually call it X instead of Twitter. (Except Elon Musk, but he doesn’t count.) | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. " I don't do social media at all - doesn't mean I can't think | |||
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"Not necessarily. It's their unwavering faith they know better than you. And belief that they are helpful/nice sharing what they know. More than the judgmental/critical element I think. T" I agree BUT unless it's 'Hey, Keep on doing that cos I love it' ...... it's a criticism. | |||
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"Mind you, If I was holding me golf stick upside down and Tiger never mentioned it , I'd fee a tit."  | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. " This ^^^  | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? You’re the first person I’ve seen actually call it X instead of Twitter. (Except Elon Musk, but he doesn’t count.)" I don't want to call it X. I'm pissed with that twat! | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving "Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though? | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. This ^^^ "As GC stated I agree, I too don’t go on social media but I still have the ability of thought and debate | |||
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"Not necessarily. It's their unwavering faith they know better than you. And belief that they are helpful/nice sharing what they know. More than the judgmental/critical element I think. T" Does their intention matter, though, if their opinion wasn't asked for? | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think?" As a blanket statement? Nope. However, if the recipient wants to perceive that way..... Social media is black and white, life on the other hand isn't. | |||
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"Not necessarily. It's their unwavering faith they know better than you. And belief that they are helpful/nice sharing what they know. More than the judgmental/critical element I think. T I agree BUT unless it's 'Hey, Keep on doing that cos I love it' ...... it's a criticism." It is. I'm just not sure whether it sets out in the world as intended critical comment or people genuinely don't see it when they offer unsolicited advice. | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. " What does this actually mean? It was a story told by someone and featured that line. It could have been in the Guardian. Would that be ok then? | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though? "I think it’s again perception based if someone reads something and takes what they read as something they’ve endured or could help with (in their mind) they may feel what they “advise” as helpful  but deemed as criticism
If that makes any sense to anyone beside my brain | |||
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"Not necessarily. It's their unwavering faith they know better than you. And belief that they are helpful/nice sharing what they know. More than the judgmental/critical element I think. T Does their intention matter, though, if their opinion wasn't asked for? " We probably would need examples for that because I don't think it's a blanket yes or no. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though? "Because they believe they know best | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
Because they believe they know best "So it's coming from a superior perspective? That's not very positive, is it? | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
I think it’s again perception based if someone reads something and takes what they read as something they’ve endured or could help with (in their mind) they may feel what they “advise” as helpful but deemed as criticism
If that makes any sense to anyone beside my brain "It does to me. I was thinking of those situations actually. People getting overexcited and offering advice because they feel the need to make someone's life easier not realising it might not be what's needed . | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
I think it’s again perception based if someone reads something and takes what they read as something they’ve endured or could help with (in their mind) they may feel what they “advise” as helpful but deemed as criticism
If that makes any sense to anyone beside my brain
It does to me. I was thinking of those situations actually. People getting overexcited and offering advice because they feel the need to make someone's life easier not realising it might not be what's needed . "Exactly, the person providing what they perceive as advice isn’t accepted by the recipient as such (shrug) Kinda in the realms of the discussion about being offensive but that’s a different topic | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. What does this actually mean? It was a story told by someone and featured that line. It could have been in the Guardian. Would that be ok then? " The guardian would rightfully be very offended if they were equated with a social media account. It not really comparing like with like. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
Because they believe they know best
So it's coming from a superior perspective? That's not very positive, is it? "I think it's all a question of perspective really, it may not be a superior stand point, it could be one of care for instance. With lived experience, if some has already been through something, or behaved in a way your thinking of behaving in, then they do have that experience to say, well this is what happened to me...... | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
Because they believe they know best
So it's coming from a superior perspective? That's not very positive, is it?
I think it's all a question of perspective really, it may not be a superior stand point, it could be one of care for instance. With lived experience, if some has already been through something, or behaved in a way your thinking of behaving in, then they do have that experience to say, well this is what happened to me......"They may have that experience. Sure. But...no-one asked. | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. What does this actually mean? It was a story told by someone and featured that line. It could have been in the Guardian. Would that be ok then? The guardian would rightfully be very offended if they were equated with a social media account. It not really comparing like with like. " You don't know what the account is. Do worthy people not have social media accounts? | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
Because they believe they know best
So it's coming from a superior perspective? That's not very positive, is it?
I think it's all a question of perspective really, it may not be a superior stand point, it could be one of care for instance. With lived experience, if some has already been through something, or behaved in a way your thinking of behaving in, then they do have that experience to say, well this is what happened to me......
They may have that experience. Sure. But...no-one asked. "So as a sponser of men, I give my point of view without being asked for it, does that make anything I may say less valid, than if it was asked for? | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
Because they believe they know best
So it's coming from a superior perspective? That's not very positive, is it?
I think it's all a question of perspective really, it may not be a superior stand point, it could be one of care for instance. With lived experience, if some has already been through something, or behaved in a way your thinking of behaving in, then they do have that experience to say, well this is what happened to me......
They may have that experience. Sure. But...no-one asked.
So as a sponser of men, I give my point of view without being asked for it, does that make anything I may say less valid, than if it was asked for? "Sponsor of men? Pardon? | |||
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"Some examples might make it easier to discuss? - Looking after your baby when someone comments that the baby should be wearing another layer - Posting on Facebook how proud you are of your son's A-level results. Someone comments that he should take a year out and not go directly to Uni. - Choosing bread at the supermarket. Someone starts telling you all the benefits of a keto diet. - Message on Fab. Suggesting how to reword your profile better." I only see the first and last two as potentially problematic and that still depends on tone and delivery Another example: - a young lad walks into a gym for the first time then loads up the bench press with 200kg and no spotter. Someone offers to spot without being invited - someone goes to leave their dog in the car on a hot day. Another points out that there’s somewhere outside the shop to tie the dog up with shade and water - someone overheard another saying that they’re concerned about their allergies in the cafe and can’t see any details. They’re advised to check the list at the counter I think people’s decency and their duty of care should always override any potential to upset some of our more sensitive members of society. I wouldn’t want to watch someone hurt themselves or another just to able to sit back afterwards and go - well at least they didn’t feel criticised! | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. What does this actually mean? It was a story told by someone and featured that line. It could have been in the Guardian. Would that be ok then? The guardian would rightfully be very offended if they were equated with a social media account. It not really comparing like with like. You don't know what the account is. Do worthy people not have social media accounts? " Yes and the guardian would also have its identity and organisation It would also have editors, fact checking and legal liability. An as yet unnamed unattributed opinion on a social media account isn't really the same thing. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? Difficult but I can’t see how any advice is criticism
For instance there’s lots of threads here that receive “unsolicited advice” which is good advice often whereas criticism is subjective and often negative unless constructive
So I guess it all depends on the person receiving
Why do people feel compelled to give "unsolicited advice" though?
Because they believe they know best
So it's coming from a superior perspective? That's not very positive, is it?
I think it's all a question of perspective really, it may not be a superior stand point, it could be one of care for instance. With lived experience, if some has already been through something, or behaved in a way your thinking of behaving in, then they do have that experience to say, well this is what happened to me......
They may have that experience. Sure. But...no-one asked.
So as a sponser of men, I give my point of view without being asked for it, does that make anything I may say less valid, than if it was asked for?
Sponsor of men? Pardon? "So I sponser other men in recovery, as a 12 step member, so I'll challenge behaviours, etc. If I believe them to be detrimental to their recovery. Whether its asked for or not | |||
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"It would need context. As examples here are two real life events.. 1. I was peeling a banana from the stalky end and my daughter showed me how much easier it was from the other end. I was mind blown and took up that method and didn't think she was criticising. 2. A friend , when he asks what i'm doing and I tell him , he always comes back with .... what are you doing that for ? Why do you go there ? Why mix with those people? You could be doing X,Y,Z and getting A,B,C .... I take this as criticism of how I spend my time. He enjoys what he does and thinks that is what I should be doing. Conversely because he doesn't want to be involved what Im involved in he sees it as a waste of my time. Now if he took the time to see my choices come from what I need he could stop trying to advise me about my pass times ..... He can only see things from his point of view - bless the stupid sodding numpty. Thing is tho ..... he means well. Do I eventually get frustrated and make it known ? Yes. Am I feisty..... no. "I know that banana trick. It really is amazeballs- and yes a great example. Henry Ford once said: if I’d have asked the people what they wanted, they’d have said faster horses Steve Jobs said: people don’t know what they want until they want it Imagine if Thomas Edison had have kept the lightbulb to himself because he didn’t want to offend people who used candles at the time? | |||
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"Just sounds like another flakey excuse to be offended to me " I am offended by that remark | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. What does this actually mean? It was a story told by someone and featured that line. It could have been in the Guardian. Would that be ok then? The guardian would rightfully be very offended if they were equated with a social media account. It not really comparing like with like. You don't know what the account is. Do worthy people not have social media accounts? Yes and the guardian would also have its identity and organisation It would also have editors, fact checking and legal liability. An as yet unnamed unattributed opinion on a social media account isn't really the same thing. " If I'd posted a news story from a random X account I'd see your point. But I didn't. So to be useful is has to have fact checking, attribution and editing? The idea of viewing unsolicited advice as criticism is quite well known, it would seem. It wasn't invented by a random on X. | |||
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"Just sounds like another flakey excuse to be offended to me " Again, utterly shooketh that you of all people might suggest that, Rex. | |||
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"It would need context. As examples here are two real life events.. 1. I was peeling a banana from the stalky end and my daughter showed me how much easier it was from the other end. I was mind blown and took up that method and didn't think she was criticising. 2. A friend , when he asks what i'm doing and I tell him , he always comes back with .... what are you doing that for ? Why do you go there ? Why mix with those people? You could be doing X,Y,Z and getting A,B,C .... I take this as criticism of how I spend my time. He enjoys what he does and thinks that is what I should be doing. Conversely because he doesn't want to be involved what Im involved in he sees it as a waste of my time. Now if he took the time to see my choices come from what I need he could stop trying to advise me about my pass times ..... He can only see things from his point of view - bless the stupid sodding numpty. Thing is tho ..... he means well. Do I eventually get frustrated and make it known ? Yes. Am I feisty..... no.
I know that banana trick. It really is amazeballs- and yes a great example.
Henry Ford once said: if I’d have asked the people what they wanted, they’d have said faster horses
Steve Jobs said: people don’t know what they want until they want it
Imagine if Thomas Edison had have kept the lightbulb to himself because he didn’t want to offend people who used candles at the time?"Edison didn't offer unsolicited advice... | |||
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"Just sounds like another flakey excuse to be offended to me Again, utterly shooketh that you of all people might suggest that, Rex. " It is inconceivable that I could type anything on here | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x" | |||
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"It would need context. As examples here are two real life events.. 1. I was peeling a banana from the stalky end and my daughter showed me how much easier it was from the other end. I was mind blown and took up that method and didn't think she was criticising. 2. A friend , when he asks what i'm doing and I tell him , he always comes back with .... what are you doing that for ? Why do you go there ? Why mix with those people? You could be doing X,Y,Z and getting A,B,C .... I take this as criticism of how I spend my time. He enjoys what he does and thinks that is what I should be doing. Conversely because he doesn't want to be involved what Im involved in he sees it as a waste of my time. Now if he took the time to see my choices come from what I need he could stop trying to advise me about my pass times ..... He can only see things from his point of view - bless the stupid sodding numpty. Thing is tho ..... he means well. Do I eventually get frustrated and make it known ? Yes. Am I feisty..... no.
I know that banana trick. It really is amazeballs- and yes a great example.
Henry Ford once said: if I’d have asked the people what they wanted, they’d have said faster horses
Steve Jobs said: people don’t know what they want until they want it
Imagine if Thomas Edison had have kept the lightbulb to himself because he didn’t want to offend people who used candles at the time?
Edison didn't offer unsolicited advice..."Not only did he offer unsolicited advice, he was so convinced by his own genius, when others weren’t, that he set up what was basically Netflix People weren’t interested in gramophones, believe it or not. Edison realised the challenge was because there were no records that people wanted to buy (a bit like the problem 3D tvs have now). To solve this he pushed a postal rent service for records Not only did nobody ask him to do this, it was an uphill battle. Nobody wanted it for years but he wouldn’t leave it be Was that him criticising society or was it just good advice? I can rhyme off a bunch of scientists and engineers on the same theme. People whose ideas weren’t welcome but were vital for us to get to where are to day as a society. Galileo was tried for heresy for his view that the Earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around. He died under house arrest | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x "I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. To dam right Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves. " | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves. "She said many. Not all. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
She said many. Not all. "Some people write many to take the sting out of the unnecessarily unpleasant comment they wish to make. My point stands. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
She said many. Not all. "Indeed I did. Bess | |||
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"Just sounds like another flakey excuse to be offended to me Again, utterly shooketh that you of all people might suggest that, Rex. It is inconceivable that I could type anything on here " Because your hands are busy elsewhere? | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x" Perhaps. But that isn't the thread. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves. "I'm sorry that happened but I guess I wouldn't categorise that as advice. Just unwarranted criticism. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x Perhaps. But that isn't the thread. "  | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well " But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. " Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. " I suppose you switch channels as well when adverts appear on your TV at the halftime interval of Coronation Street? | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. " I know someone who loves advising me despite me not asking. The things they've told me I need to do. I haven't done one of them yet but it's clear from the content of said advice what she thinks of how I live my life | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then" Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. I suppose you switch channels as well when adverts appear on your TV at the halftime interval of Coronation Street? " Oh, does that make me a pariah of modern society, Rex? | |||
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"The vast overwhelming majority of those that don't want it, fucking loving giving it out. " Did you do a poll? | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here. "
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think?" I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned." Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." | |||
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"The vast overwhelming majority of those that don't want it, fucking loving giving it out. Did you do a poll? " Yes | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. " The fact is that if there is no intent to criticise and the advice is meant well then it's an ishyou. The only person you can change is yourself. Your choices are to minimise interactions with others or develop a strategy for dealing with them. | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
"Still don't know what this means. What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere. | |||
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"The vast overwhelming majority of those that don't want it, fucking loving giving it out. Did you do a poll? Yes" Ooh did you use python and analyse your data?  | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
Still don't know what this means.
What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere. "Op said you saw it on X. Twitter? | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. The fact is that if there is no intent to criticise and the advice is meant well then it's an ishyou. The only person you can change is yourself. Your choices are to minimise interactions with others or develop a strategy for dealing with them. " I see. So I wasn't allowed to feel frustrated at the huge number of people who "fed back" on how I parented multiple small children. It's an issue for me to deal with. Uh huh. | |||
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"The vast overwhelming majority of those that don't want it, fucking loving giving it out. Did you do a poll? Yes Ooh did you use python and analyse your data? "Yes | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
Still don't know what this means.
What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere.
Op said you saw it on X. Twitter?"I did. But several people (I think) have suggested that nothing has any meaning or worth if it came from Twitter. I find that hard to understand as a huge number of very intelligent and educated people post there. | |||
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"Comes down to perspective, the best intent isn't always received that way. " | |||
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"I don't think it has to be, no. Even though it probably often is. Like others have said, depends on the delivery and intent." I guess like everything else, it's all in the context. I just found it an intriguing perspective. | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
Still don't know what this means.
What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere. "Because social media isn't the home of nuance or subtlety or thoughtful insights. It's attention grabbing, provocative, unsubtle, contrary and simplistic. | |||
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"The vast overwhelming majority of those that don't want it, fucking loving giving it out. Did you do a poll? Yes Ooh did you use python and analyse your data?
Yes"Always loved how chatty you are  | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
Still don't know what this means.
What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere.
Because social media isn't the home of nuance or subtlety or thoughtful insights. It's attention grabbing, provocative, unsubtle, contrary and simplistic. "Really. Not a single person who posts on SM is capable of nuanced, subtle, thoughtful insights. Take X as an example. You can choose who to follow. You don't have to follow the provocative and attention grabbing accounts. You can follow people like (from my own follows) David Challen on domestic violence, Jessica Valenti on reproductive rights, Feargal Sharkey on the environment. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes."" No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. | |||
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"I don't think it has to be, no. Even though it probably often is. Like others have said, depends on the delivery and intent. I guess like everything else, it's all in the context. I just found it an intriguing perspective. " Yeah, it is. And I think people offering it often are criticising in the "you don't want to it like that" vein... | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast." Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. | |||
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"The vast overwhelming majority of those that don't want it, fucking loving giving it out. Did you do a poll? Yes" I remember that poll. I answered it in anticipation of a £5 Tesco voucher. Where is it? | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
Still don't know what this means.
What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere.
Because social media isn't the home of nuance or subtlety or thoughtful insights. It's attention grabbing, provocative, unsubtle, contrary and simplistic.
Really. Not a single person who posts on SM is capable of nuanced, subtle, thoughtful insights. Take X as an example. You can choose who to follow. You don't have to follow the provocative and attention grabbing accounts. You can follow people like (from my own follows) David Challen on domestic violence, Jessica Valenti on reproductive rights, Feargal Sharkey on the environment. "You can highlight individuals but overall twitter is a cesspool where hateful content, disinformation and provocation is amplified and distributed. Social media works on a model of user engagement. They worked out some time ago that it easiest way to keep you engaged is make you angry. | |||
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"What do I think? That I’m glad I don’t do social media beyond what I do here.
Still don't know what this means.
What about if my OP said "I read this recently" with no mention of social media. I just don't get the relevance. It's an idea, a point of view. Why does it matter if you're on SM or not? Ideas come from anywhere.
Because social media isn't the home of nuance or subtlety or thoughtful insights. It's attention grabbing, provocative, unsubtle, contrary and simplistic.
Really. Not a single person who posts on SM is capable of nuanced, subtle, thoughtful insights. Take X as an example. You can choose who to follow. You don't have to follow the provocative and attention grabbing accounts. You can follow people like (from my own follows) David Challen on domestic violence, Jessica Valenti on reproductive rights, Feargal Sharkey on the environment.
You can highlight individuals but overall twitter is a cesspool where hateful content, disinformation and provocation is amplified and distributed.
Social media works on a model of user engagement. They worked out some time ago that it easiest way to keep you engaged is make you angry. "Ok. You do you. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. " Actually, feedback doesn’t qualify anything into terms of quantity. It doesn’t even necessarily serve a purpose. It’s the knocking sound you hear when you drop a stone on the ground. It’s literally the signals “fed back” and can sometimes be useless inefficiency Criticism always serves a purpose, sometimes constructive, sometimes not | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. The fact is that if there is no intent to criticise and the advice is meant well then it's an ishyou. The only person you can change is yourself. Your choices are to minimise interactions with others or develop a strategy for dealing with them. I see. So I wasn't allowed to feel frustrated at the huge number of people who "fed back" on how I parented multiple small children. It's an issue for me to deal with. Uh huh. " You’re allowed to feel frustrated, but society doesn’t appreciate someone who attacks a person who was only trying to help. If a person is too sensitive to take advice - solicited or not, it’s a flaw that they need to work on. For the majority of history you wouldn’t have survived with that outlook. Being able to cut people off rather than address why you are so easily offended is a privilege of todays society. Not necessarily a good one, but exclusive to modern society nonetheless. The rest of us shouldn’t change millions of years of evolution because a small minority can’t cope with advice with is volunteered rather than traded for My days! Why are we questioning whether it’s bad to get something for free?? Unless you’re giving someone an illness, I say go for it!  | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. Actually, feedback doesn’t qualify anything into terms of quantity. It doesn’t even necessarily serve a purpose. It’s the knocking sound you hear when you drop a stone on the ground. It’s literally the signals “fed back” and can sometimes be useless inefficiency Criticism always serves a purpose, sometimes constructive, sometimes not" In the context you mentioned - the feedback had a purpose. | |||
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"Depends on context to be honest. Someone dropping me a message here to say, “ have you thought about tweaking this on your profile “ I’d be fine as I welcome constructive feedback. But if a random person wandered up in a car park and said you wanna get x car they’re miles better I’d ask them who asked for their opinion and suggest that they fook off, keep fooking off until they find a gate with a sign that says “ end of fook zone” and then fook off some more. Context is everything lol" Yes, I tend to agree! | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. The fact is that if there is no intent to criticise and the advice is meant well then it's an ishyou. The only person you can change is yourself. Your choices are to minimise interactions with others or develop a strategy for dealing with them. I see. So I wasn't allowed to feel frustrated at the huge number of people who "fed back" on how I parented multiple small children. It's an issue for me to deal with. Uh huh. You’re allowed to feel frustrated, but society doesn’t appreciate someone who attacks a person who was only trying to help. If a person is too sensitive to take advice - solicited or not, it’s a flaw that they need to work on. For the majority of history you wouldn’t have survived with that outlook. Being able to cut people off rather than address why you are so easily offended is a privilege of todays society. Not necessarily a good one, but exclusive to modern society nonetheless. The rest of us shouldn’t change millions of years of evolution because a small minority can’t cope with advice with is volunteered rather than traded for My days! Why are we questioning whether it’s bad to get something for free?? Unless you’re giving someone an illness, I say go for it! "At no point did I say I attacked anyone. Or that I was too sensitive to take advice. Or that im easily offended. Please don't write as if I did. | |||
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"The funniest thing I've always found about unsolicited advice is that it's more often than not offered by people who haven't a clue and it was something they saw on social media. One that comes to mind was a random stranger on the top of a mountain telling me I needed a bigger rucksack and which brand was best. I have a background in SAR while he was wearing jeans and white trainers. I could have told him it's idiots like him who create all sorts of chaos but I chose not to and carried on my way. " Smiling outwardly whilst has much to recommend it on these occasions! | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. Actually, feedback doesn’t qualify anything into terms of quantity. It doesn’t even necessarily serve a purpose. It’s the knocking sound you hear when you drop a stone on the ground. It’s literally the signals “fed back” and can sometimes be useless inefficiency Criticism always serves a purpose, sometimes constructive, sometimes not In the context you mentioned - the feedback had a purpose. " What purpose does arbitrarily dropping a stone on the ground achieve, let alone the noise of it? You seem to be being deliberately contrarian. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. Actually, feedback doesn’t qualify anything into terms of quantity. It doesn’t even necessarily serve a purpose. It’s the knocking sound you hear when you drop a stone on the ground. It’s literally the signals “fed back” and can sometimes be useless inefficiency Criticism always serves a purpose, sometimes constructive, sometimes not In the context you mentioned - the feedback had a purpose. What purpose does arbitrarily dropping a stone on the ground achieve, let alone the noise of it? You seem to be being deliberately contrarian. " This context. In your own comment when you originally brought up feedback. "I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast" | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. The fact is that if there is no intent to criticise and the advice is meant well then it's an ishyou. The only person you can change is yourself. Your choices are to minimise interactions with others or develop a strategy for dealing with them. I see. So I wasn't allowed to feel frustrated at the huge number of people who "fed back" on how I parented multiple small children. It's an issue for me to deal with. Uh huh. You’re allowed to feel frustrated, but society doesn’t appreciate someone who attacks a person who was only trying to help. If a person is too sensitive to take advice - solicited or not, it’s a flaw that they need to work on. For the majority of history you wouldn’t have survived with that outlook. Being able to cut people off rather than address why you are so easily offended is a privilege of todays society. Not necessarily a good one, but exclusive to modern society nonetheless. The rest of us shouldn’t change millions of years of evolution because a small minority can’t cope with advice with is volunteered rather than traded for My days! Why are we questioning whether it’s bad to get something for free?? Unless you’re giving someone an illness, I say go for it!
At no point did I say I attacked anyone. Or that I was too sensitive to take advice. Or that im easily offended. Please don't write as if I did. "I never said you did. I’m writing in the hypothetical. I thought that was the point of this exercise. Freudian slip? | |||
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"I think, in many instances, people just mean well But let's say that I don't care what their intention is. I still don't want their unsolicited advice. It's made me think about all the times people have "meant well". And bombarded me with stuff I didn't ask for and didn't want. When my children were little, for instance. There were times that if another person had "offered advice" I'd have screamed in frustration. Probably best to spend as little time around other people as possible then Because I don't want lots of unsolicited advice from strangers. That seems unwarranted. The fact is that if there is no intent to criticise and the advice is meant well then it's an ishyou. The only person you can change is yourself. Your choices are to minimise interactions with others or develop a strategy for dealing with them. I see. So I wasn't allowed to feel frustrated at the huge number of people who "fed back" on how I parented multiple small children. It's an issue for me to deal with. Uh huh. You’re allowed to feel frustrated, but society doesn’t appreciate someone who attacks a person who was only trying to help. If a person is too sensitive to take advice - solicited or not, it’s a flaw that they need to work on. For the majority of history you wouldn’t have survived with that outlook. Being able to cut people off rather than address why you are so easily offended is a privilege of todays society. Not necessarily a good one, but exclusive to modern society nonetheless. The rest of us shouldn’t change millions of years of evolution because a small minority can’t cope with advice with is volunteered rather than traded for My days! Why are we questioning whether it’s bad to get something for free?? Unless you’re giving someone an illness, I say go for it!
At no point did I say I attacked anyone. Or that I was too sensitive to take advice. Or that im easily offended. Please don't write as if I did.
I never said you did. I’m writing in the hypothetical. I thought that was the point of this exercise. Freudian slip?"Perhaps then, write making that clear. Rather than use "you" when replying to my comment. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. Actually, feedback doesn’t qualify anything into terms of quantity. It doesn’t even necessarily serve a purpose. It’s the knocking sound you hear when you drop a stone on the ground. It’s literally the signals “fed back” and can sometimes be useless inefficiency Criticism always serves a purpose, sometimes constructive, sometimes not In the context you mentioned - the feedback had a purpose. What purpose does arbitrarily dropping a stone on the ground achieve, let alone the noise of it? You seem to be being deliberately contrarian. This context. In your own comment when you originally brought up feedback. "I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast"" That wasn’t my comment. I’m not sure what a course has to do with dropping a stone either | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I don’t agree. But even if so, criticism doesn’t mean it’s negative or ill intentioned. Um. That's what criticism is? "the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes." No, you just selected one definition from google that states it’s negative. I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast. Oxford English Dictionary definition. Feedback is not the same as criticism. Feedback has the specific intent to help someone improve. And I haven't said I'm offended. I just found an interesting perspective and thought I'd see what other people thought. Actually, feedback doesn’t qualify anything into terms of quantity. It doesn’t even necessarily serve a purpose. It’s the knocking sound you hear when you drop a stone on the ground. It’s literally the signals “fed back” and can sometimes be useless inefficiency Criticism always serves a purpose, sometimes constructive, sometimes not In the context you mentioned - the feedback had a purpose. What purpose does arbitrarily dropping a stone on the ground achieve, let alone the noise of it? You seem to be being deliberately contrarian. This context. In your own comment when you originally brought up feedback. "I did a course in a particular subject, where we held weekly criticisms where everyone gives you feedback. it was always with good intent. Maybe that’s why I don’t get too offended by feedback, advice or opinions and why I don’t see criticism as a negative. You get used to it fast" That wasn’t my comment. I’m not sure what a course has to do with dropping a stone either" I'm lost | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
I'm sorry that happened but I guess I wouldn't categorise that as advice. Just unwarranted criticism. "Or the "advice" shouted at me in a hospital car park recently: "You shouldn't be out on your own" Yeah - go screw yourself, pal (is what I wanted to say) | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
I'm sorry that happened but I guess I wouldn't categorise that as advice. Just unwarranted criticism.
Or the "advice" shouted at me in a hospital car park recently:
"You shouldn't be out on your own"
Yeah - go screw yourself, pal (is what I wanted to say)"WTF goes through someone's mind to say that? To suggest in 2023 that a woman using a wheelchair shouldn't be out alone. It's insanity. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
I'm sorry that happened but I guess I wouldn't categorise that as advice. Just unwarranted criticism.
Or the "advice" shouted at me in a hospital car park recently:
"You shouldn't be out on your own"
Yeah - go screw yourself, pal (is what I wanted to say)
WTF goes through someone's mind to say that? To suggest in 2023 that a woman using a wheelchair shouldn't be out alone. It's insanity. "A woman in some kind of electric car who wanted to park in the space I was trying to vacate. Obviously too slowly for her liking. She started to get out of the car and everything. | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
I'm sorry that happened but I guess I wouldn't categorise that as advice. Just unwarranted criticism.
Or the "advice" shouted at me in a hospital car park recently:
"You shouldn't be out on your own"
Yeah - go screw yourself, pal (is what I wanted to say)
WTF goes through someone's mind to say that? To suggest in 2023 that a woman using a wheelchair shouldn't be out alone. It's insanity.
A woman in some kind of electric car who wanted to park in the space I was trying to vacate. Obviously too slowly for her liking. She started to get out of the car and everything. "Perhaps she reacted so badly as she was at the hospital for less than pleasant reasons | |||
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"I've found that many people who complain about criticism or being "shamed" are doing things that they really should be criticised or shamed for. Bess x
I've been criticised by a stranger for being out in public with a child, in my wheelchair. If that means I'm doing something wrong or to be shamed about, the person who is of that opinion can go and fornicate with themselves.
I'm sorry that happened but I guess I wouldn't categorise that as advice. Just unwarranted criticism.
Or the "advice" shouted at me in a hospital car park recently:
"You shouldn't be out on your own"
Yeah - go screw yourself, pal (is what I wanted to say)
WTF goes through someone's mind to say that? To suggest in 2023 that a woman using a wheelchair shouldn't be out alone. It's insanity.
A woman in some kind of electric car who wanted to park in the space I was trying to vacate. Obviously too slowly for her liking. She started to get out of the car and everything.
Perhaps she reacted so badly as she was at the hospital for less than pleasant reasons "A community hospital with no A&E and that is mainly for diagnostic tests, therapy (physio etc), walk in centre and a pharmacy? Frankly, I couldn't care less why she was there. I was legitimately parked in a bay. I was trying to put away my wheelchair and get back into my car. She pulled up behind my car, waited for a brief period. She then rolled the window down, shouted "you shouldn't be out on your own" and then started to get out of the car (boxing me in too). How the heck is that justified? Why do people insist on justifying the downright rude and insensitive? Clearly, she is one of those people who think disabled people are like children who need a "carer" everywhere they go. As it was, I was so surprised that I said nothing. After I'd driven away and had a chance to reflect, I wanted to ask her why she was out alone to see what she replied with. | |||
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"If I see someone driving down the road and they don’t realise one of their hun caps is about to fall off, and I politely let them know: is that criticism? Should I keep my self assured belief that they should have a car which is road worthy to myself and let drive unwittingly into the nether and on to cause an accident? No, not all unsolicited advice is a criticism. There have been plenty of times in my life that I wish someone had warned me sooner what might happen and I didn’t know to ask for it. I treat others how I would have like to be treated in the same position If someone takes offence to that, then they have bigger issues than I care to involve myself in anyway. " I think that's different from advice though? In my head anyway, there's a difference between "hey did you know your hubcaps are loose" and "I really think you ought to swap those out for the 18 inch alloys, they're way superior, look better and don't come loose as much". The first is helpful and also concerned with safety, the second is douchey. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think?" I think we should keep calling it Twitter just to piss Elon Musk off. Probably not what you meant but it is what I thought. | |||
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"If I see someone driving down the road and they don’t realise one of their hun caps is about to fall off, and I politely let them know: is that criticism? Should I keep my self assured belief that they should have a car which is road worthy to myself and let drive unwittingly into the nether and on to cause an accident? No, not all unsolicited advice is a criticism. There have been plenty of times in my life that I wish someone had warned me sooner what might happen and I didn’t know to ask for it. I treat others how I would have like to be treated in the same position If someone takes offence to that, then they have bigger issues than I care to involve myself in anyway. I think that's different from advice though? In my head anyway, there's a difference between "hey did you know your hubcaps are loose" and "I really think you ought to swap those out for the 18 inch alloys, they're way superior, look better and don't come loose as much". The first is helpful and also concerned with safety, the second is douchey." The first is more of an observation isn't it? But again it's how it's worded. | |||
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"I saw this on X just now. Mulling it over. What do you think? I think we should keep calling it Twitter just to piss Elon Musk off. Probably not what you meant but it is what I thought. " Does anything puncture his arrogance though? I predict a rebrand back to Twitter by Christmas. | |||
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"Stoics would say. You can only control yourself and your reaction to others. So unsolicited advice is irrelevant. Its your reaction that matters. " I agree that our reactions matter most. But perceiving whether others are criticising will sometimes determine a reaction - no? | |||
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"I'd like to think if I told someone they probably should have listened to me before having that extra drink while I'm holding their hair out the way as they puke in the toilet is probably sharing wisdom "It might be wisdom but is kinda criticising. "If I were you [with my immense wisdom], I wouldn't have had more to drink" It is a form of judgement, however well intentioned or well received. | |||
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"If I see someone driving down the road and they don’t realise one of their hun caps is about to fall off, and I politely let them know: is that criticism? Should I keep my self assured belief that they should have a car which is road worthy to myself and let drive unwittingly into the nether and on to cause an accident? No, not all unsolicited advice is a criticism. There have been plenty of times in my life that I wish someone had warned me sooner what might happen and I didn’t know to ask for it. I treat others how I would have like to be treated in the same position If someone takes offence to that, then they have bigger issues than I care to involve myself in anyway. I think that's different from advice though? In my head anyway, there's a difference between "hey did you know your hubcaps are loose" and "I really think you ought to swap those out for the 18 inch alloys, they're way superior, look better and don't come loose as much". The first is helpful and also concerned with safety, the second is douchey." | |||
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"If I see someone driving down the road and they don’t realise one of their hun caps is about to fall off, and I politely let them know: is that criticism? Should I keep my self assured belief that they should have a car which is road worthy to myself and let drive unwittingly into the nether and on to cause an accident? No, not all unsolicited advice is a criticism. There have been plenty of times in my life that I wish someone had warned me sooner what might happen and I didn’t know to ask for it. I treat others how I would have like to be treated in the same position If someone takes offence to that, then they have bigger issues than I care to involve myself in anyway. I think that's different from advice though? In my head anyway, there's a difference between "hey did you know your hubcaps are loose" and "I really think you ought to swap those out for the 18 inch alloys, they're way superior, look better and don't come loose as much". The first is helpful and also concerned with safety, the second is douchey. "I’m not into cars but the second sounds like someone trying to share their passion/ relate even if it might be over eager | |||
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"If I see someone driving down the road and they don’t realise one of their hun caps is about to fall off, and I politely let them know: is that criticism? Should I keep my self assured belief that they should have a car which is road worthy to myself and let drive unwittingly into the nether and on to cause an accident? No, not all unsolicited advice is a criticism. There have been plenty of times in my life that I wish someone had warned me sooner what might happen and I didn’t know to ask for it. I treat others how I would have like to be treated in the same position If someone takes offence to that, then they have bigger issues than I care to involve myself in anyway. I think that's different from advice though? In my head anyway, there's a difference between "hey did you know your hubcaps are loose" and "I really think you ought to swap those out for the 18 inch alloys, they're way superior, look better and don't come loose as much". The first is helpful and also concerned with safety, the second is douchey.
I’m not into cars but the second sounds like someone trying to share their passion/ relate even if it might be over eager"Fair point well made! | |||
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"I go apeshit at this poor bloke in our games group because he comes over and tells you how he would have done it or asks you why you took a certain move...... my responses are so frosty ... BUT - when I don't know something - I ask him. Why the F does he put his nose in when it's not been asked for ? eh ? P.S. I know he's trying to help. He's a lovely guy but I wish he'd fuck off out of our game" Are people that lovely if they can't read the signals and fuck off? Just asking the question. Because it does seem to be a communication problem. But not everyone is capable of improving their communication. I've been trying to teach my adult autistic son how to converse since he could talk. He still just does monologues. | |||
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"Stoics would say. You can only control yourself and your reaction to others. So unsolicited advice is irrelevant. Its your reaction that matters. " It's true that we can't control others, but it's not human to expect that certain behaviours won't provoke more of a reaction than others. That's half the reason human relationships are so complicated! | |||
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"Stoics would say. You can only control yourself and your reaction to others. So unsolicited advice is irrelevant. Its your reaction that matters. It's true that we can't control others, but it's not human to expect that certain behaviours won't provoke more of a reaction than others. That's half the reason human relationships are so complicated!" So perhaps self-awareness is critical here too - to know that your (general your) words might provoke a reaction or be seen as criticism. Some of us are better at this than others. I've just made one of my kids cry because I didn't choose my words carefully enough.  | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not." Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass | |||
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"In a previous job I used to receive unsolicited advice from people in other depts about how they would run my dept if they were in charge. I took it as criticism because there were more issues in their own depts and yet they were telling me I was the problem in mine. The MD's son joined the company and quickly became another offering unsolicited advice but he was much less subtle and was openly critical. He tried to undermine me at every turn until he was put in his place by his dad without any complaint from me. I walked away from that company after 34 years because of things like that and in the 4 years since leaving 6 people including the bosses son have tried doing my job and none of them have lasted more than 6 months. He stuck it for a week before saying it was an impossible role. In 2018 I offered unsolicited advice to my boss in an email detailing how I believed communication between depts and customers would make an immediate difference. He took it as criticism and ignored it completely. Last year, 4 years after I sent it and 3 after I had left, that email was printed out and given to the heads of all depts by the MD as a guideline to changes he was suggesting and wanted implemented. Unfortunately for him he had forgotten to take my name off the bottom of it. " . I hope you moved onto a role where you were appreciated instead of undermined. | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not." Interesting take. In my experience people are ok with criticism but probably not from strangers who have no context and are just mouthing off. It's pretty negative. | |||
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"Yeah. Probably agree with that. Unsolicited parenting advice boils my piss so much" My repertoire for dealing with it (bearing in mind I had four young kids) was "smile and wave, boys, smile and wave". I'm much more likely to take advice (and criticism) from someone who knows me and my family. And has some comprehension of ASD. | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass" Fass. Nope, no idea! | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea!" Looool it’s patois | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois" BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!! | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Interesting take. In my experience people are ok with criticism but probably not from strangers who have no context and are just mouthing off. It's pretty negative. " Is it actually criticism then if it's just them having a go without all the details or as you said is it just being mouthy? I'd say it's prob more the latter and my response in those situations is probably less polite than most, I have no qualms about telling someone to feel free to fuck right off. | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!! "Tough! Kmt | |||
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"Will also depend on who is giving the feedback too. On here, one person can say something and people will see it differently depending on whether you are a friend or like that person or not or want to get in their pants or can’t stand them. K " Oh of course - depends on the relationship. Although most threads here - people are asking for advice aren't they? | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Interesting take. In my experience people are ok with criticism but probably not from strangers who have no context and are just mouthing off. It's pretty negative. Is it actually criticism then if it's just them having a go without all the details or as you said is it just being mouthy? I'd say it's prob more the latter and my response in those situations is probably less polite than most, I have no qualms about telling someone to feel free to fuck right off." Most people seem to try to be polite but fume inside. But if we never say anything (politely or not) then they will keep on proffering their "advice". Hmm. | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!!
Tough! Kmt
"I don't even know what Kmt is | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!!
Tough! Kmt
I don't even know what Kmt is "KISS MY TEETH | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!!
Tough! Kmt
I don't even know what Kmt is
KISS MY TEETH "WTF. I mean, what the actual FUCK does that mean?!! | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!!
Tough! Kmt
I don't even know what Kmt is
KISS MY TEETH
WTF. I mean, what the actual FUCK does that mean?!!" omg I am a long way from my people rn | |||
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"So what if it is? Are we growing so soft as a species that we can't handle a little criticism? Suck it up, either take it on board if you feel it has any merit or ignore it. If I'm doing something that deserves criticism I'd rather know, regardless if it upsets me or not. Half the time people receive unsolicited advice it’s because one person doesn’t know enough and they’re too fass Fass. Nope, no idea! Looool it’s patois BUT I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS. Yeesh, Pickle!!
Tough! Kmt
I don't even know what Kmt is
KISS MY TEETH
WTF. I mean, what the actual FUCK does that mean?!!
omg I am a long way from my people rn "Me too, Steve, me too | |||
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