FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Can you pick?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accepted

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s nice to be accepted, although doesn’t bother me wether I am or not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of both tbf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"

I wonder that too.

Isn't it more of a tolerance then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

How can you be accepted without being understood?

If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.

But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Not bothered either way, I just go with the flow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can you be accepted without being understood?

If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.

But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real. "

It's bothering me a bit too as I don't think I can pick. Came across this somewhere and was pondering by myself.

I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am greedy so going to go both

Unfortunately my nature and flaws means that I try to be accepted and understand in all aspects off life

Witch can be a flaw as when I not I beat myself up and gets me down

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"

I can accept first and then given time, begin to understand. Does that make sense? I don’t need to understand someone to accept them.

Miles

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I guess there superficial acceptance - basic niceness, dignity and so on - and then true acceptance, the sort that can only be given by someone who has taken the time to understand you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

If I'm accepted without being understood, who have they really accepted?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

I'm just a soul who's intentions are good......

I think I'd have to be understood before being accepted. The reverse doesn't work, does it.

Anyway I got to listen to Nina now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can you be accepted without being understood?

………………

I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ? "

Precisely this. I may be curious as to why you are the way you are but I needn’t understand it to accept that you are the way you are.

Miles

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones "

No easy the easy answer

But more important question

Have reconsider working with seals

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess there superficial acceptance - basic niceness, dignity and so on - and then true acceptance, the sort that can only be given by someone who has taken the time to understand you."

That's a nice distinction Rose. The true acceptance based on the 'basic/credit' one we can work on being able to extent to most humans. It's not an instant thing. But could be ? Or it's not possible without knowing someone.. having commonalities perhaps helps.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I'm accepted without being understood, who have they really accepted? "

Good question.

Maybe they accepted a human without needing to know all about them to be able to give them the embrace of acceptance ? It's not conditioned that way ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can you be accepted without being understood?

………………

I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ?

Precisely this. I may be curious as to why you are the way you are but I needn’t understand it to accept that you are the way you are.

Miles"

Snap indeed.

And we didn't even discuss this properly yet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Accepted.

Once they've understood me they'll probably (hopefully) accept me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"If I'm accepted without being understood, who have they really accepted?

Good question.

Maybe they accepted a human without needing to know all about them to be able to give them the embrace of acceptance ? It's not conditioned that way ?"

Oh, as in a blanket default setting? I like the idea of that. Damn, I wish I was like that!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke_silverMan
over a year ago

London


"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones "

Understood for sure, because I can't control acceptance whereas I can control understanding to some extent. Of course, I'd like to accepted too, but I don't want to spend even more time worrying about things outside my control!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Accepted - I have friends that do not understand a lot of the choices I have made but they accept me for who I am as I do them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"

I accept things I don't understand kinks being a good example.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"
.

This

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Neither really x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Understood .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"

To be fair it's possible. I don't need to understand to accept.

If somethibg is the way it is, I accept that. And I also accept I may never understand it.

That person is their own self, whatever that may be and I accept the for whatever it is they are or do.

For the most part kids accept without ever understanding each other. They don't need to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

By my friends and family yes. By others not so much I can't really influence what they think about me so...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?

To be fair it's possible. I don't need to understand to accept.

If somethibg is the way it is, I accept that. And I also accept I may never understand it.

That person is their own self, whatever that may be and I accept the for whatever it is they are or do.

For the most part kids accept without ever understanding each other. They don't need to. "

I guess I was taking it as social acceptance.

I 100% accept anybody doing them (so long as they're not hurting others in the process), but that doesn't mean I accept them into my social circle or direct life.

But the people I accept into my life in the way I interpreted the question, I need to understand at least a little before it can be any more than a polite surface acceptance of their existence.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?

To be fair it's possible. I don't need to understand to accept.

If somethibg is the way it is, I accept that. And I also accept I may never understand it.

That person is their own self, whatever that may be and I accept the for whatever it is they are or do.

For the most part kids accept without ever understanding each other. They don't need to. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones

Understood for sure, because I can't control acceptance whereas I can control understanding to some extent. Of course, I'd like to accepted too, but I don't want to spend even more time worrying about things outside my control! "

I didnt think about it that way. Thanks for adding to the thought mix. And everyone who contributed.

T

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Don't think it matters one way or the other I'm generally accepted because of my friendly attitude

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilkstressWoman
over a year ago

Drasnia

Generally, I want people to accept me. I only need my friends to actually understand me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/08/23 16:50:36]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope you can't please everyone. If you don't accept me that is perfectly fine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luckily I've never needed to think about it, I'm that easy going and uncomplicated I don't think anyone would need to think about it. But I do think you need to except something before you can understand it, so would rather be excepted first

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"

This bit of quality wisdom right here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"How can you be accepted without being understood?

If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.

But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real. "

Exactly this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"How can you be accepted without being understood?

If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.

But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real.

It's bothering me a bit too as I don't think I can pick. Came across this somewhere and was pondering by myself.

I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ? "

Yeah…but the question was which was more important to *me*

It is nice being accepted and welcomed…that’s how the vast majority of circumstances roll (work, hobbies/clubs etc). But if I have to significantly compromise myself to fit in, I’m pretty unhappy. I’d rather not quite fit in but understand and feel happy in myself. Being accepted used to be far more important than it is now, mainly because I understand myself more and have a few people who deeply understand AND about me.

All still a huge work in progress, obviously!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones

Understood for sure, because I can't control acceptance whereas I can control understanding to some extent. Of course, I'd like to accepted too, but I don't want to spend even more time worrying about things outside my control! "

Absolutely this!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Generally, I want people to accept me. I only need my friends to actually understand me. "

I relate. I don't need most people to understand me.

T

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How can you be accepted without being understood?

If I’m accepted but they don’t understand me, then it isn’t any acceptance I’d want.

But if I’m understood but not accepted, then we are just different people. Might feel sad but at least it’s real.

It's bothering me a bit too as I don't think I can pick. Came across this somewhere and was pondering by myself.

I do think it's possible though to accept someone without understanding them fully. I might not get what drives you but I accept your right to happiness and living your life as you please for example ?

Yeah…but the question was which was more important to *me*

It is nice being accepted and welcomed…that’s how the vast majority of circumstances roll (work, hobbies/clubs etc). But if I have to significantly compromise myself to fit in, I’m pretty unhappy. I’d rather not quite fit in but understand and feel happy in myself. Being accepted used to be far more important than it is now, mainly because I understand myself more and have a few people who deeply understand AND about me.

All still a huge work in progress, obviously! "

Yes it was about your preference which prompted more questions from me and brainstorming out loud heh

I do get it. If you have to spend time pretending and shaping yourself to fit in... its effort and energy which you won't get back and could spend otherwise. Good for you on constant evolving.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody really needs to understand another person, you either accept someone or you don’t regardless

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ogo1189Man
over a year ago

Rossendale


"How can I be accepted if I'm not understood?"

Boris Johnson got in didn’t he? Accepted but not understood til ‘twas too late

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones "

I'm not fussed about either....

I want to be adored.

Cal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is it more important to you to be accepted or to be understood by people around you? And I don't mean fab, just life in general.

Is it possible to pick?

Tones

I'm not fussed about either....

I want to be adored.

Cal"

Awww. That made me smile

T

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top