FabSwingers.com forum: Labels schmabels...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

We use labels a lot. Whether it's identify ourselves as a particular way, thus helping us find similar people. Using it to describe others.

What labels do you use? Do you ever disagree with labels people use to describe themselves? Would you ever voice that? How comfortable are you with them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only label I use is the sticker I attach to my person before getting very squiffy.

Taxi driver knows which gutter to dump me in that way.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Laundry labels - all the time except when it says dry clean only. Challenge accepted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Less flippant answer.

I try not to use labels, or attach them to others. I’m firmly in the middle with the use of labels from others. But I don’t mix an awful lot so I’m highly unlikely to offend.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Single woman, that's about it really. I do get fed up with labelling everyone, we're all just people at the end of the day.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Laundry labels - all the time except when it says dry clean only. Challenge accepted"

Ha! I have such a fear of not following the laundry labels - currently have a small pile of jumpers/cardigans that I'm tempted to wash but fear the end might happen if I do.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Think we all label even if it is inadvertently. The redhead, the clever one, the one with the beautiful voice

But labels that are attributed wbu others are sometimes difficult to shake off, the broken one, the mouthy one, the hard as nails one. And I think these kind of labels are far more detrimental than describing a physical attribute.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Labels are at all times 100% accurate and yet 100% inaccurate.

How is this possible!? Because of overlap. Labels themselves are too rigid to define a person. They can conflict and compromise each other.

No one person is a single label encompassing all of its traits and none of another labels that would challenge the other label.

I am demisexual... Up until a point. I'm a gamer but how much of a gamer do you have to be to be a gamer, a little bit of time spent, or all of your time? I have goth traits but I'm not a goth to look at.

I am all of my labels, I embrace them but don't think for a second that I am 100% at all times what they mean.

Short version, labels are umbrella terms. They are good for quick association. It's easier to say a label than go in to detail about a sub section of that label to a stranger. Once communication is open the the subtle differences can be explained to those interested.

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Labels are only useful to communicate how we’re feeling in the moment, I do dislike when people force labels and expect others to live within those specific boundaries, humans tend to fluctuate in what they’re wanting, feeling or looking for but labels box people into static boxes

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Labels can be good to a certain extent to help people show who they are to others. But I don't like when people become so fixated and feel there is no movement within that label or crossover between others.

Life is never so black and white - in my opinion it's all about the shade of grey and technicolour in-between

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"We use labels a lot. Whether it's identify ourselves as a particular way, thus helping us find similar people. Using it to describe others.

What labels do you use? Do you ever disagree with labels people use to describe themselves? Would you ever voice that? How comfortable are you with them?"

Only the ones on food so I don't give myself food poisoning or clothes so I don't turn them pink.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

[Removed by poster at 23/08/23 13:33:28]

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Also despite people saying they don't. Everyone uses labels. It's next to impossible to avoid.

At all times you are placing yourself and others under a specific label for different situations.

Are you a swinger? Bang. Labeled.

Are you a meat eater? Bang labeled.

Are you an extrovert? Bang. Labeled.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Less flippant answer.

I try not to use labels, or attach them to others. I’m firmly in the middle with the use of labels from others. But I don’t mix an awful lot so I’m highly unlikely to offend. "

Oh be as flippant as you want! I'm in such a good mood today that I'm going to welcome all flippancy.

I don't know, I think we all do it from time to time. I caught myself today using studmuffin to describe someone and as much of a joke as it was, I guess it's a label of sorts. A thread earlier inspired this whole line of thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to label others.

If other people label themselves, then I do my best to honour that decision

My own labels are, mum (bruh to the teen), she/her, and knackered mess

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Think we all label even if it is inadvertently. The redhead, the clever one, the one with the beautiful voice

Is that a cute little winking emote because you think I have a beautiful voice?

Yes, I think I understand what you mean. The negative labels can gain far more traction - think about it on here - the psycho one, the manslut etc. I think it can be used as shorthand to describe someone and when you do so? You're kind of erasing who a person is as a whole. Not affording them room to grow/change or be more than.

I know they're commonly used (labels as a whole) but they kind of shrink the world a bit, don't they?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Think we all label even if it is inadvertently. The redhead, the clever one, the one with the beautiful voice

Is that a cute little winking emote because you think I have a beautiful voice?

I know they're commonly used (labels as a whole) but they kind of shrink the world a bit, don't they? "

Well I guess your voice is alright Meli

I think negative labels are harder to shake off. Plus I think once someone gets a negative label, people look to confirm that label more so than a positive one. And I'm a strong believer of if you're looking for a negative you will find it. Additionally, I think labels constricts a person being them, which I'm not keen on. People are fluid things I don't believe we were ever supposed to be static in our mindsets. E.g. a strong person is allowed to cry if they so wish. They don't always have to be strong

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I use loads of labels and probably way more than I know or acknowledge. I see it as short hand that helps me quickly identify who I'm dealing with. I try not always successfully to look past the initial label to the actual person behind it

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Labels have their place and can be great.

Myself I don't like to stick a load of labels to myself whether that be my sexuality or gender - I'm just a person who likes boobs and cock, I don't consider myself to fit in the boxes that fab supply for sexuality but that doesn't bother me.

I think many labels don't fit many people and they can be pushed upon some which I don't agree with which is seen in fab quite often, some get labels mixed up and rather than educate people ridicule which is sad to see but very prevalent among the forums and it's members.

Mrs

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

They are a shortcut but are far from the whole picture.

That I want to find out for myself.

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By *erotic_adventureMan
over a year ago

London, Scotland & The North,

"I try not to label others.

If other people label themselves, then I do my best to honour that decision

My own labels are, mum (bruh to the teen), she/her, and knackered mess"

This....I don't and wouldn't label others that's their perogative. Otherwise just live and let live

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I hate labels, I find them exasperating.

Labelling myself as a TV for example (true as it may be) feels weird and sort of pretentious to me.

Saying I am "this" and I am "that" just comes across of self gratifying and full of ones self.

I understand how labels can help identify oneself and others, and there are plenty of people that need/want/like that.

But, the way I see it, we are all who we are.

You are Meli - that's who you are.

I am me, that's all there is to it...

Everything else just seems a little unnecessary

That's just my thoughts on it though.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Single woman, that's about it really. I do get fed up with labelling everyone, we're all just people at the end of the day."

Whole-heartedly agree

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Labels aren’t something that come to mind till someone brings them up

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Laundry labels - all the time except when it says dry clean only. Challenge accepted

Ha! I have such a fear of not following the laundry labels - currently have a small pile of jumpers/cardigans that I'm tempted to wash but fear the end might happen if I do."

Whats the worst that could happen.

Want to know a secret... I dont even seperate colours. Throw them all in higgedly piggedly and hope for the best.

A washing rebel if you will

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We use labels a lot. Whether it's identify ourselves as a particular way, thus helping us find similar people. Using it to describe others.

What labels do you use? Do you ever disagree with labels people use to describe themselves? Would you ever voice that? How comfortable are you with them?"

I think labels are overrated, I mean who in the world needs a label on toxic/deadly stuff stating “eating or drinking this could cause serious discomfort or death

If these warnings were removed we could seriously improve on the population of the planet

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By *addad99Man
over a year ago

Rotherham /newquay

All my labels seem to say xl very strange

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport Hotel

"Also despite people saying they don't. Everyone uses labels. It's next to impossible to avoid.

At all times you are placing yourself and others under a specific label for different situations.

Are you a swinger? Bang. Labeled.

Are you a meat eater? Bang labeled.

Are you an extrovert? Bang. Labeled. "

Bang!

And the dirt is gone.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I get labelled as an annoying twat a lot.

But I say to them labels schmables!

I don't label people. You're either good vibes or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate labels but they can help point someone in the right ish description of yourself or others. Like a generalized overview that gives the basics perhaps. I hate using them but I do for that reason.

Labels can come with a stigma, a pre judgement you know you're going to get or a responsibility or a commitment. And I particularly hate that about labels.

Are we really unique if we stick labels on ourselves? And are some of those labels actually sticky plasters for something that's deemed as a negative perhaps when really they shouldn't be?

Labels are lazy aren't they?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Labels are at all times 100% accurate and yet 100% inaccurate.

How is this possible!? Because of overlap. Labels themselves are too rigid to define a person. They can conflict and compromise each other.

No one person is a single label encompassing all of its traits and none of another labels that would challenge the other label.

I am all of my labels, I embrace them but don't think for a second that I am 100% at all times what they mean.

Ah this is a really interesting post!

Esp the demisexual up to a certain point - I've tried explaining to friends before that there are varying degrees to sexuality, it's far too nuanced to say "oh I do X, Y and Z and I'm a B so everyone who is a B must operate exactly like me".

I like the idea of them being an umbrella term. And when people take the chance to get to know you, they can learn what it means to you exactly. Thanks Kai

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We use labels a lot. Whether it's identify ourselves as a particular way, thus helping us find similar people. Using it to describe others.

What labels do you use? Do you ever disagree with labels people use to describe themselves? Would you ever voice that? How comfortable are you with them?

I think labels are overrated, I mean who in the world needs a label on toxic/deadly stuff stating “eating or drinking this could cause serious discomfort or death

If these warnings were removed we could seriously improve on the population of the planet

Ohhhhh those kinda labels lmfao

no I don’t care for labels for a human and their behaviour, each to their own

move along

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I think in the broadest sense, labels are not such a bad thing; certainly it can make life simpler for those around us if we ascribe ourselves to certain parameters which they can readily identify.

For instance, in relation to this site, I am a man who likes ladies.

It all gets a bit sticky however when folks tend to utilise labels in a negative manner and pigeonhole certain imagined/preconceived traits to whatever label is presently being utilised.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t really label myself, I’m just a guy that likes stuff.

I.e I like fishing but don’t class myself as a fisherman.

The mr

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Labels have their uses. I don't tend to use them when I'm talking about something that matters to people who matter, but for casual conversations or where the distinctions are less relevant it's easier to use the umbrella terms than go into the details and nuance of each person and situation.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't often use labels for others but I do often roll my eyes or just laugh when I see how some label themselves in regards to their personality.

They use labels that are so far removed from my personal experience of them that I can only assume they are a little confused or not self aware.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I think they have their place in life. They give a feel for how someone might be or not. But I’m a firm believer in not labelling others. They are more than capable of doing that for themselves

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I hate labels but they can help point someone in the right ish description of yourself or others. Like a generalized overview that gives the basics perhaps. I hate using them but I do for that reason.

Labels can come with a stigma, a pre judgement you know you're going to get or a responsibility or a commitment. And I particularly hate that about labels.

Are we really unique if we stick labels on ourselves? And are some of those labels actually sticky plasters for something that's deemed as a negative perhaps when really they shouldn't be?

Labels are lazy aren't they?

I think so. I might be wrong but yes, they are. Lazy isn't always bad is it - a quick way to get a general concept through to another person isn't bad. But it is minimising.

I do think labels can come with a stigma, a preconceived notion (why yes I'm listening to musicals) on how a person is based on our own biases when we hear it.

I think when we start addressing people as negative labels it's not good is it? And it's like Frida said above about those being harder to remove - negativity is difficult to remove once said/used.

I think they are sadly. I don't really have the energy/headspace for that sort of negativity in my life any more - deliberately making an effort to remove it is really good for me.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

you cant not use labels everything has a label organic non organic its how we communicate take labels away then you have a mess its that simple really ..

put some fuel in the car ...what do you want ?? oh i dont do labels just put fuel in .... fucked up car

people dont like to label themselves for some really strange reason and simply just love to be different or awkward ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We use labels a lot. Whether it's identify ourselves as a particular way, thus helping us find similar people. Using it to describe others.

What labels do you use? Do you ever disagree with labels people use to describe themselves? Would you ever voice that? How comfortable are you with them?"

I get annoyed with the ADHD tag, especially for kids. I'm pretty syid fall into the category tbf.

I personally think it's how the mind reacts to modern society. It's not made for alot if people. Plus sticking children in a room for hours and hours a day for years should make them irretinent and a disturbance. Don't feed them pills

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if it counts as a label, but I was told recently, because I have Tv as one of my choices and because im bi curious, That it was a Red flag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use all the ones people seem to hate because they’re all ‘psychobabble’ or Woke snowflake terms. - Black, Cishet man, that’s possibly neurodiverse etc

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I use labels loads, my brain is compartmentalised and it helps me find and keep my people

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I think they're really useful as a starting point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think we all label even if it is inadvertently. The redhead, the clever one, the one with the beautiful voice

I agree, that's just how our brain works, but we can train it to be less impulsive and shallow, to a certain point. So the challenge is not to let labels and biases to get in the way. It's a constant battle for me

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By *ake_or_deathMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I use some labels for myself - some are political, some refer to lifestyle choices. Mostly I label myself an idiot when I do anything that inconveniences me even sightly!

Labels can be useful signposts to guide your kind of people to you (and others away!) but judging people solely on them is like reading the chapter titles of a book without actually reading the chapters.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"We use labels a lot. Whether it's identify ourselves as a particular way, thus helping us find similar people. Using it to describe others.

What labels do you use? Do you ever disagree with labels people use to describe themselves? Would you ever voice that? How comfortable are you with them?"

It seems people like a label, whether it is a positive or negative one.

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