FabSwingers.com forum: Tell me your Worst / Corniest Joke !!

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm a saddo who loves Dad jokes and really awful ones too ..

So what's the shittest joke you know and let's see if it's actually funny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'll start ...

My neighbour told me he threw a stick 5 kilometres and his dog brought it back ...

Seems a bit far fetched

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

What do pizza delivered guys and gynecologists have the common?...

They get smell the goods, but don't get to touch...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a lady walking through some woods, she finds a clearing and in the centre sitting on a log is a tiny man bent over with his head in his hands. She sits down next to him and says hello, are you a goblin ? No he replies I've got a headache actually !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"What do pizza delivered guys and gynecologists have the common?...

They get smell the goods, but don't get to touch..."

That's awful.. 9/10

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"There's a lady walking through some woods, she finds a clearing and in the centre sitting on a log is a tiny man bent over with his head in his hands. She sits down next to him and says hello, are you a goblin ? No he replies I've got a headache actually ! "

A great start.. Also a 9 haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Last night me and the missus watched two DVDs back to back, luckily I was the one facing the TV

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Last night me and the missus watched two DVDs back to back, luckily I was the one facing the TV"

We watched the Boxset "The Broken Suitcase", to be honest it was difficult to get into.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

She said undress me with your words,

I said, there's a spider in your bra

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Last night me and the missus watched two DVDs back to back, luckily I was the one facing the TV"

Haha ridiculously silly ...Love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Last night me and the missus watched two DVDs back to back, luckily I was the one facing the TV

We watched the Boxset "The Broken Suitcase", to be honest it was difficult to get into."

Excellent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"She said undress me with your words,

I said, there's a spider in your bra"

Haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eyes………. Fsh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

In an office;

One guy asks the other "Do you have any bulldog clips?

He replies "no but I have a short video on pugs?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

What have Winnie the Pooh and Pingu the Penguin got in common?

They've got the same middle name

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell you my red arrows joke but it'll go straight over your heads

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

What do you call a man that's lost his car?

Carlos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

What's black, floats on water and shouts knickers?

Rude oil

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

A wonky

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Said to the baker, “how come all your cakes are 50p but that one’s £1”

He said “thats Madeira cake”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/08/23 09:31:36]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did I tell you the one about the magic tractor?

It drove down the road and turned into a field.

(Ouch!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

What do you call a Judge with no cock? Justice Balls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anSMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

That would be a big step forward.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?"

"You follow the fresh prints."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

A white horse walks into a pub and the barman says, “we’ve got a whisky named after you”, the horse replies

“ What? Eric?”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rumpyMcFuckNugget OP Man
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Haha I've chuckled at a fair few of these .. And groaned too ...

Perfect

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Visited a prison the other day, looking at the wall there was a dwarf climbing down the side.

I turned to my friend and said, " that's a little con-descending"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Equally some right chuckles on here..

Two nuns cycling home from church.

One turns to the other and says "I've not come this way before"

The other replies "that'll be the cobbles"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where does a General keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to an archeology party where everyone was looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite the shindig

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unchalMan
over a year ago

Dartford

"I'm a saddo who loves Dad jokes and really awful ones too ..

So what's the shittest joke you know and let's see if it's actually funny

Not mine but a classic dad joke.

Lorna Rose Treen was voted the winner of the Dave Funniest Joke of the Edinburgh Festival fringe with her pun: "I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah,"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Nicola Sturgeon has just announced the title if her memoirs,

"Mein Kampfervan"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anted by NightMan
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"I'm a saddo who loves Dad jokes and really awful ones too ..

So what's the shittest joke you know and let's see if it's actually funny

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between pink & purple?

Grip!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We met a fella with WENDY tattooed down his cock and said "Ah that's nice, is that your girlfriends name?".

He said "No, it says WelcomE to jamaica have a Nice DaY"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Cups32Woman
over a year ago

Colne

In Norway, all the ships have barcodes on the side... That way when the ships come back in to port, they can Scan-di-navyin.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

2 flys in an airing cupboard.

Which ones the hardest?

The one in the tank.

The mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

A glad-he-ate-her.

What do a woman and a bar have in common?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Man walks into a bar...ouch...it was a metal bar!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

What's the difference between a crab and a squashed Indian?

Ones a crustacean and the others a crushed Asian!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *smith87Man
over a year ago

totton

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He neaded a poo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *smith87Man
over a year ago

totton

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?

A wooly jumper

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *smith87Man
over a year ago

totton

What do you call James bond in the bath?

Bubble 0 seven

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My local pub is so rough that the opening question on quiz night was "What are you looking at?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My local pub is so rough that the opening question on quiz night was "What are you looking at?""

Haha, that's very good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. .

Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

Tinder

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Do you know the most important difference between a penis and a chicken drumstick. When they answer “no” , reply would you like to come on a picnic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

I have a friend who evaporated

He'll be mist

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You hear about the explosion in the cheese factory?

Nothing left but de brie.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *flkfunseekerMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"You hear about the explosion in the cheese factory?

Nothing left but de brie."

9.5/10

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Got rid of the vacuum cleaner the other day...it was only stood in the corner gathering dust...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Apparently a true story...

Richard Burton the Welsh actor while filming in America was approached by a brash American fellow who shouted at him ' hey Richard baby we both got something in common' Richard Burton asked him 'and what do we have in common sir?'

The man said 'we're both selts' muspronouncing Celt as selts.

Richard turned to him and said..' my good man, I might be a selt but you sir are a SUNT!'...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Apparently a true story...

The man said 'we're both selts' muspronouncing Celt as selts.

Richard turned to him and said..' my good man, I might be a selt but you sir are a SUNT!'...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o_yeur_eyes_onlyMan
over a year ago

Londontown

"What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

A wonky"

This one got me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Personally we've always loved Dolly Parton. She's got he knockers, but....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I had sex in a lift it was wrong on many levels

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you know the most important difference between a penis and a chicken drumstick. When they answer “no” , reply would you like to come on a picnic

LOL - cross post this to the picnic thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two midgets wanted a baby. They went to the doctor who said thats fine you can have a baby . Would you like a baby girl or boy. The midgets repiled they didnt mind as long as it fitted inside a cannon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you do if a elephant cum down a hill

Swim for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aleforfun22Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

Old one Paul McCartney wrote a poem for heather mills.......there we wer upon the river bank my hands wer all a quiver I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does the moon cut his hair? …. Eclipse it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

My favourite machine at the gym?

The lovely vending machine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

What does a pigs tail and 3 am have in common?

Twirly (too early)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rummymanMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"Old one Paul McCartney wrote a poem for heather mills.......there we wer upon the river bank my hands wer all a quiver I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river..."

That's got me passing me pants!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the most popular time to visit the dentist ? …. 2:30

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty in TamworthMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

[Removed by poster at 22/08/23 16:53:43]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/08/23 16:56:47]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's cowboy time?

Ten to ten.. ten to ten..ten to ten..ten to ten.....tennnnnnn to ten.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

When I went to get my clit pierced the Man said he would have to numb the area. He did indeed, with his mouth...numb numb numb numb.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I went to get my clit pierced the Man said he would have to numb the area. He did indeed, with his mouth...numb numb numb numb."

Hahahahahaha this one really got me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omsubdevonCouple
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

I have decided to remove all of my German friends from my mobile phone.

I want to go Hans free.

My laptop wont stop playing "Rolling in the Deep"

It's a Dell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

"I have decided to remove all of my German friends from my mobile phone.

I want to go Hans free.

My laptop wont stop playing "Rolling in the Deep"

It's a Dell "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

What do yog call a man with no shins or feet? Tony.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does an elephant have four feet. Because 6 inches just isn't big enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aleforfun22Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

Hear about the guy who thought Johnny Cash wash change from a durex machine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just finished reading Great Expectations. It wasn't as good as I hoped.

Bess x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"Why does an elephant have four feet. Because 6 inches just isn't big enough"

And why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy won't pay the ransome.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

What’s the difference between a baker and a knight in shining armour?

One darts into the foe…..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why was the Mexican taking medication?

Hispanic attacks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patient: Doctor Doctor I feel like a needle..

Doctor: Get to the point..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patient: Doctor Doctor I keep stealing chairs..

Doctor: Well take a seat..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a police man that sits in a tree?

Special Branch.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dave's up in court for his third drink drive offense.

Whilst the judge was summing up Dave got a massive erection.

Dave's barrister later confirmed Dave got a stiff sentence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otBunsHunWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks "why the long face?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I've never had a lentil on my face!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a sewing machine and a female jogger? A sewing machine only has one bobbin.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *loria JamesTV/TS
over a year ago

Durham

A blonde walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre...so he give her one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *loria JamesTV/TS
over a year ago

Durham

What do you call a woman who throws her bills on the fire...Bernadette.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ttmcdguyTV/TS
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I bought a new tread mill yesterday to help get fit

Not going to go mad to begin with so I’ve started doing widths rather than lengths

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Did you hear about the Chameleon that couldn't change colour?....

It had reptile dysfunction

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I picked up a hitchhiker last night.

He asked, "How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"

I replied, "The chances of two serial killers in one car are astronomical."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the film Constipation? It never came out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread