FabSwingers.com forum: I'm done

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Throw in a pornstar martini and I'm there!

Mrs

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Best idea I've heard in ages....though knowing my luck I'd end up with a pirate who looked like captain pugwash

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Am I on this list?

If not. I'm in.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

You'd be trying to peg everyone when they had too much rum

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Throw in a pornstar martini and I'm there!

Mrs "

Ooh yes, and possibly espresso martinis as well to keep us awake.

Pirates drink a lot.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"You'd be trying to peg everyone when they had too much rum

Arrrrr...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Best idea I've heard in ages....though knowing my luck I'd end up with a pirate who looked like captain pugwash

We'll vet them first, no dodgy types allowed.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Shiver me timbers....

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Is there wifi and a Gregg’s on this adventure?

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

I’m very much in for the pirate life, but gonna have to Chuck some brandy in there as well. Unless I’m on that other list

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Am I on this list?

If not. I'm in. "

A list

Not the feeding to the sharks list though. Grow your beard out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/23 17:20:27]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You'd be trying to peg everyone when they had too much rum

Ssshhhhh have another rum.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"You'd be trying to peg everyone when they had too much rum

Ssshhhhh have another rum. "

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Am I on this list?

If not. I'm in.

A list

Not the feeding to the sharks list though. Grow your beard out. "

I still don't feel safe about this new list either!

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’m also done, therefore, in.

Already growing a beard.

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"You'd be trying to peg everyone when they had too much rum

Ssshhhhh have another rum. "

With some pirates wooden leg

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Can I bring Jager?

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By *adyHWoman
over a year ago

South Glos

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

uuuummm YES please! Count me in!

Whats not to like? I love rum, love beards, love tattoos and love Pirates

Lets go.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there wifi and a Gregg’s on this adventure?

We can open up a Greggs on the island I'm sure.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Where has all the rum gone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does someone have to do, to get on your list Coyote?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Will ye be walking the plank naked OP?

Count me in garrrrrr

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

Sausage and bean melts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m very much in for the pirate life, but gonna have to Chuck some brandy in there as well. Unless I’m on that other list

No you're safe, brandy, really? I guess just a drop until you get used to the rum.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

Sounds a bit smelly unless the island facilities include hot and cold water alongside ice makers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

will there be an keel hauling or flogging?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m also done, therefore, in.

Already growing a beard. "

Yes!!! Me too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Am I on this list?

If not. I'm in.

A list

Not the feeding to the sharks list though. Grow your beard out.

I still don't feel safe about this new list either! "

To be fair personal hygiene is not top of a pirates priorities. You may need to practice holding your breath.

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"I’m very much in for the pirate life, but gonna have to Chuck some brandy in there as well. Unless I’m on that other list

No you're safe, brandy, really? I guess just a drop until you get used to the rum. "

Oh I like rum it’s just to mix it up you know little change here and there. I already got the beard and tats

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By *istersomethingtomeMan
over a year ago

Hitchin

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided.

uuuummm YES please! Count me in!

Whats not to like? I love rum, love beards, love tattoos and love Pirates

Lets go..... "

Obviously need to make sure you don't get scurvy, which is caused by lack of vitamin C in your diets. Just so happens its also found in sperm! What a coincidence!!!!

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Wonder who will Roger the cabin boy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pls

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By *adyHWoman
over a year ago

South Glos

"Obviously need to make sure you don't get scurvy, which is caused by lack of vitamin C in your diets. Just so happens it's also found in sperm! What a coincidence!!!!"

Well hopefully all these hot pirates will be willing to donate some Vit C then

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Don’t want to burst the bubble but I think you might be disappointed, think more Captain Philips rather than Pirates of the Caribbean if you fancy a life on the ocean wave.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Am I on this list?

If not. I'm in.

A list

Not the feeding to the sharks list though. Grow your beard out.

I still don't feel safe about this new list either!

To be fair personal hygiene is not top of a pirates priorities. You may need to practice holding your breath.

Noted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t want to burst the bubble but I think you might be disappointed, think more Captain Philips rather than Pirates of the Caribbean if you fancy a life on the ocean wave. "

Was thinking Captain Pugwash, and his motley crew of Seaman Staines and Master Bates.

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By *istersomethingtomeMan
over a year ago

Hitchin

"Obviously need to make sure you don't get scurvy, which is caused by lack of vitamin C in your diets. Just so happens it's also found in sperm! What a coincidence!!!!

Well hopefully all these hot pirates will be willing to donate some Vit C then

Scientific fact as well as being known for pillaging, pirates were also known to form orderly queues...

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

[Removed by poster at 21/08/23 17:33:58]

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

This sounds delightful, I'm absolutely game

Em x

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Are we gonna have a Pirate radio station ? We need some sea shantys blasting while folk walk the plank

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

As soon as there's a Greggs on that island, the pirate life is over.

Pirates don't Gregg's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roger the Cabin Boy.

Don't mind if I do!

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

If Brucey is against Greggs I'd like to vote him up as first to walk the plank

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"This sounds delightful, I'm absolutely game

Em x"

You can share my bunk

Mrs

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"As soon as there's a Greggs on that island, the pirate life is over.

Pirates don't Gregg's!"

I've seen some of Gregg's customers. They most certainly do!

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"If Brucey is against Greggs I'd like to vote him up as first to walk the plank"

I'll walk the plank but I'll spit at your fake pirate charade while I'm doing it before befriending the shark and becoming nemesis to all as SHARKBOY

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"As soon as there's a Greggs on that island, the pirate life is over.

Pirates don't Gregg's!

I've seen some of Gregg's customers. They most certainly do! "

No they were just homeless Kai

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"As soon as there's a Greggs on that island, the pirate life is over.

Pirates don't Gregg's!

I've seen some of Gregg's customers. They most certainly do! "

Don't fancy a Crab pasty

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"If Brucey is against Greggs I'd like to vote him up as first to walk the plank

I'll walk the plank but I'll spit at your fake pirate charade while I'm doing it before befriending the shark and becoming nemesis to all as SHARKBOY"

We're going to have sharks with laser beams stuck to their heads

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"This sounds delightful, I'm absolutely game

Em x

You can share my bunk

Mrs "

Can we go ,like right now

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I'll pack my best cutlass and brush up on my captain Jack impression, bonus you don't have to share the rum

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Pirates are adults too.

I hear Captain Jack likes it up the rum.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have my arm bands and gin ready. When are we leaving??

Don’t tell me I’m on the list either, I need the peace and quiet

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

I made the switch a few years ago and I regret nothing.

Welcome aboard

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Fuck yes, where do we sign up?

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Pirates are adults too.

I hear Captain Jack likes it up the rum. "

No, you misheard that. He just likes rum jobs

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr "

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

Too late he already gave me one.

Pdddddd I'm comingggg for yaaaa booootaaayyy ahooyyy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/23 17:50:53]

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

Actually on second thoughts you come be right.

Ak’s for people who aren’t a fucking idiot!!!!

The mr

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

Don't worry he's not sharing our bunk

Mrs

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

I spent a year on a pirate radio ship once... can I join in?

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

Don't worry he's not sharing our bunk

Mrs "

So room for one more? Lavely!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm in. But you knew that.

Cam we have surfers as well please?

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

With you!!!!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Will there be boobs?

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Will there be boobs? "

Plenty ..lol if all the men are planning to be there

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

I have rum. And vodka. And some very nice single malt whisky.

And I'm now a road pirate. Sailing the highways and dropping anchor where the mood takes me.

Sadly no bath tub anymore though.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"Will there be boobs? "

Looks that way me eartyyy ooh arghhhh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wonder who will Roger the cabin boy...."

I think we'll let brucey decide himself. Only fair.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t want to burst the bubble but I think you might be disappointed, think more Captain Philips rather than Pirates of the Caribbean if you fancy a life on the ocean wave. "

We're getting an island!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A stormy island with just rum to consume sounds long tbf

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By *tacy.TWoman
over a year ago

luton

Oh I'm definitely in!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I bring Jager?"

Aslong as you bring your sexy self you can bring anything!

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

That all sounds brilliantly exciting!! Can we join, hubby loves rum and I love pirates

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pirates are adults too.

I hear Captain Jack likes it up the rum. "

I like captain jack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr "

I know a guy!! This could happen.

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By *ayna20Couple
over a year ago

Kent

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

Arrrrrrrr!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm in. But you knew that.

Cam we have surfers as well please?"

Surfers?? No woman we have sweaty pirates.

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Boobs n Pirates ....

Sounds like a late 80s rock group

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Will there be boobs? "

Dirty sweaty ones, yes.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Take what you want give nothing back aaaargh just be careful of the short drop and sudden stop

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Are tattoos optional?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I know a guy!! This could happen."

Me too! And he's hot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided.

I have rum. And vodka. And some very nice single malt whisky.

And I'm now a road pirate. Sailing the highways and dropping anchor where the mood takes me.

Sadly no bath tub anymore though.

You don't need a bath, pirates are dirrrttyyy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are tattoos optional?"

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I need a passport to get there?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do I need a passport to get there?

No! We'll smuggle you in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided.

That all sounds brilliantly exciting!! Can we join, hubby loves rum and I love pirates

What's not to love!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Will there be boobs?

Dirty sweaty ones, yes. "

You son of a bitch, I'm in!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Do I need a passport to get there?

No! We'll smuggle you in. "

Is Mr in too? He best had be!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though. "

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do I need a passport to get there?

No! We'll smuggle you in.

Is Mr in too? He best had be! "

Alright Kai, they'll be enough men to go around don't worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I need a passport to get there?

No! We'll smuggle you in.

Is Mr in too? He best had be! "

I can travel freely, I don't need to be smuggled, just her that's the illegal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway"

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though. "

In crayon?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I'm in. But you knew that.

Cam we have surfers as well please?

Surfers?? No woman we have sweaty pirates. "

Seems reasonable.

I'm still in.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I'm gonna fuck all of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a parrot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a parrot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?"

Squawk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm gonna fuck all of you.

And the men??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

Well you absolutely nailed it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot"

Oh my God, you can't just tell someone what bird they be

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By *lexm87Man
over a year ago

Various

You do realise that the Royal Navy had significantly fewer loses to privateers for a fairly straightforward reason...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You do realise that the Royal Navy had significantly fewer loses to privateers for a fairly straightforward reason...

Don't ruin my dreams

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

Oh my God, you can't just tell someone what bird they be

Calm down duck.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

Oh my God, you can't just tell someone what bird they be

I want to be a blue footed boobie... it's where the origins of them term booby trap comes from

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters. "

Who is the captain?

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"Do I need a passport to get there?

Pirates with passports lol

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters. "

Does this mean I’m first in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

Oh my God, you can't just tell someone what bird they be

Calm down duck."

Ooooh letting out that bit of Derby in you

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"You do realise that the Royal Navy had significantly fewer loses to privateers for a fairly straightforward reason...

Don't ruin my dreams"

Don't worry, it's because they were bumming each other

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters.

Does this mean I’m first in

I'm bringing up the rear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot"

What why? You can’t just tell me what bird I can’t be!

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

What why? You can’t just tell me what bird I can’t be!"

Do you repeat yourself often

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Do I need a passport to get there?

No! We'll smuggle you in.

Is Mr in too? He best had be!

I can travel freely, I don't need to be smuggled, just her that's the illegal "

Oh phew! All is good

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters.

Does this mean I’m first in

I'm bringing up the rear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

What why? You can’t just tell me what bird I can’t be!

Do you repeat yourself often

Yeah coz no fucker ever listens

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

What why? You can’t just tell me what bird I can’t be!

Do you repeat yourself often

Yeah coz no fucker ever listens

You can be the parrot then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters.

Who is the captain? "

Me obviously

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By *egDaySkipperMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Can I have ice cream, coffee and moderate amount of sex please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

Oh my God, you can't just tell someone what bird they be

Calm down duck.

Ooooh letting out that bit of Derby in you

I'll let in a bit more.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters.

Who is the captain?

Me obviously "

My enthusiasm is now confused...

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided.

That all sounds brilliantly exciting!! Can we join, hubby loves rum and I love pirates

What's not to love! "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I have ice cream, coffee and moderate amount of sex please "

Ice cream???

ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are tattoos optional?

Nope, I'll do you a nice one though.

You keep away from my tattoos. You know what I'm getting anyway

Once you're tattooed up you may enter the captain's quarters.

Who is the captain?

Me obviously

My enthusiasm is now confused... "

Ssshhh its ok, have some rum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

You know why pirates are called pirates?

Because they Arrrrr!!

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Now that sounds like a paradise

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I join in? Can’t guarantee I won’t be crying in the corner somewhere, but I can bring some rum

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

"Best idea I've heard in ages....though knowing my luck I'd end up with a pirate who looked like captain pugwash

Or seaman stains

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I'm gonna fuck all of you.

*cries in pirate *

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I can do you a tattoo and you will get use to the rum, mix it with something

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

No tattoos, no beard (anymore), but I love Kracken rum, and can do the pirate radio gig - whilst wearing my "Radio Presenter By Day, Pirate By Night" tee shirt.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I looked at suits for 6th form

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I can do you a tattoo and you will get use to the rum, mix it with something "

Flour, eggs, butter and sugar?

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I’m in! Rum and rugged, tattooed men… what more could we want

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

Can you swear?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No tattoos, no beard (anymore), but I love Kracken rum, and can do the pirate radio gig - whilst wearing my "Radio Presenter By Day, Pirate By Night" tee shirt."

You had me at Kraken

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

"No tattoos, no beard (anymore), but I love Kracken rum, and can do the pirate radio gig - whilst wearing my "Radio Presenter By Day, Pirate By Night" tee shirt."

Kraken gives me the ick. That's a terrible rum.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"I spent a year on a pirate radio ship once."

Actually genuinely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m in! Rum and rugged, tattooed men… what more could we want

Quite literally, nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I spent a year on a pirate radio ship once.

Actually genuinely."

Alright you're in!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No tattoos, no beard (anymore), but I love Kracken rum, and can do the pirate radio gig - whilst wearing my "Radio Presenter By Day, Pirate By Night" tee shirt.

Kraken gives me the ick. That's a terrible rum. "

On the list.

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

[Removed by poster at 21/08/23 19:35:22]

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I can do you a tattoo and you will get use to the rum, mix it with something

Flour, eggs, butter and sugar?"

Sounds like a weird tattoo to me

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

So are you leaving? Is it too much?

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

Don't worry he's not sharing our bunk

Mrs "

He can keep the perverts out with his AK

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I can do you a tattoo and you will get use to the rum, mix it with something "

OK. In. I'm going to have a knife in a leg holster too.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

Can you swear?"

Fuck yeah.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m in for this. As long as I’m not on the kill list..

Please may I have a mojito with a rum chaser.

And a pirate with a pirate chaser also.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I can do you a tattoo and you will get use to the rum, mix it with something

OK. In. I'm going to have a knife in a leg holster too.

We all will need those I think, can't be a pirate without a good knife

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By *rLordMan
over a year ago

Swadlincote

Can i be a cabin boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adulting can find somewhere else to be right now. Getting full on Arya Stark vibes with the world right now.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

I am actually heading off for the caribbean next season. What should I pack? So far I got: Rum. Swimming Trunks. Snorkel. Surfboard.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

I'd make a shit pirate because I'm teetotal, but sex and killing off people I don't like, I can do..

Count me in!!

Might end up killing myself off tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we make brucey walk the plank

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Time to drop anchor in dirt bay....

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By *rabstallionMan
over a year ago

Tiverton

Ahoy me hearties , whob them decks !!

Am not ageist on my ship , nor will you treated like a lady !!

But get on your knees whence

?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a parrot?

Squawk

It once took me over an hour to work out how to spell squawk

You can't be the parrot

Oh my God, you can't just tell someone what bird they be

Calm down duck.

Ooooh letting out that bit of Derby in you

I'll let in a bit more."

What do you mean a bit?

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

Mojitos and Capt Jack types you say?? I'm in got my bermuda shorts and flip flops ready.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Shit pirates the lot of you. They didn't even have tattoos! Just pubic hair, pillaging women, and...well the rum parts accurate

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"I’m game for a bit of pirating. Were we going first Somalia ?

Ak’s for everybody!!!!

The mr

I think you might need to a bit more selective with who gets one

Don't worry he's not sharing our bunk

Mrs

He can keep the perverts out with his AK

Well it was fun while it lasted

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I am also done with adulting after the ridiculous amount of money I've spent on new high school uniform and shoes today

I don't think I'd be a good pirate though because I have no tattoos and I don't like rum.

I can do you a tattoo and you will get use to the rum, mix it with something

Flour, eggs, butter and sugar?

Sounds like a weird tattoo to me

Some weirdo will have it.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Shit pirates the lot of you. They didn't even have tattoos! Just pubic hair, pillaging women, and...well the rum parts accurate "

Pubic hair?

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Nibbles on Old Jamaica Rum & Raisen chocolate...ooh arr

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"Shit pirates the lot of you. They didn't even have tattoos! Just pubic hair, pillaging women, and...well the rum parts accurate

Pubic hair?

And LICE

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By *anilla-sinCouple
over a year ago

lancs

"With adulting, it's just not fun.

I'm off to live the pirate life, there's rum apparently. Lots of rum. And beards, and tattoos. Pirates have tattoos right?

And hopefully some sexy Capt Jack types. Who's in?!? We can't live on a pirate ship though as I get sea sick, we need an island. And not a tropical island, somewhere wild and stormy.

Pirate sex and rum! And killing off those we don't like. I have a list.

*For the more sophisticated amongst you mojitos will be provided. "

french martini please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit pirates the lot of you. They didn't even have tattoos! Just pubic hair, pillaging women, and...well the rum parts accurate "

Pillaging is the polite way of putting it

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Well I'm going to join the navy and take down you ruffians.

Bloody Pirates.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Does the pirate ship have a bar for the sexy bartender?

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