FabSwingers.com forum: Message them or wait to be messaged

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What in your opinion is better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I'm a waiter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the profile I think, if they state that they want messages then I’ll do that but.. I will normally send a wink and if they reciprocate I will then message.. that way, I find less wasted time sending messages if people aren’t interested!

But I am not having a lot of luck so maybe my approach is wrong haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

'Them' ? As in people you are interested in ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shy kids don't get sweets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Depends on the profile I think, if they state that they want messages then I’ll do that but.. I will normally send a wink and if they reciprocate I will then message.. that way, I find less wasted time sending messages if people aren’t interested!

But I am not having a lot of luck so maybe my approach is wrong haha"

Some people never look at winks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend not to look at winks

So best to message them and then delete the sent message that way you don’t know what they did with it

If they message back then it’s a plus if not you tryed your shot on to the next

Best to try than not to best not to go though life thinking someone a no when they a yes but both are to sacred to take that first step

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Take the bull by the horns and message if someone catches your eye, what's the worst that could happen?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What in your opinion is better"

If everyone just sat around waiting for messages, no-one would ever meet.

Decide who you're looking for, do a search, send messages, chat, arrange a meet, tick off that fantasy, start again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I am not having a lot of luck so maybe my approach is wrong haha

Some people never look at winks. "

Oh no! I need to change my approach then haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *flkfunseekerMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I usually message, it’s extremely rare I get messaged first x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"What in your opinion is better

If everyone just sat around waiting for messages, no-one would ever meet.

Decide who you're looking for, do a search, send messages, chat, arrange a meet, tick off that fantasy, start again. "

Ooooh, new photo. Nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm sure they are for me I'll message first. If I'm unsure based on their profile then I prefer they message me, that message will confirm either way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to wait and wait and wait...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

I message people. They don’t always reply but at least I reached out and made an effort

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I message if I like the look of someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What in your opinion is better"

I do not Chase. I only message those I think already want to talk.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes. Ive used 'them' since i was a kid just as a general term for someone i dont know their name and it's stuck. I also have a compelling need to overexplain lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

I message... generally they'll not reply or the reply will be a bit blunt ..but sometimes I hit it off with people..so it's worth taking that first step

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already "

Kind of this. Of course there are always exceptions. Sometimes I'll have moments of "eh fuck it" and try my luck. But generally it's just as likely they will message me than I will have my message seen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already

I'm going through a phase of being winked and sending a message to them, it's read and then nothing back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

The last first contact message I sent on here was in January 2020.

Every conversation since has been started by someone contacting me.

It's really down to what you want from the site.

I haven't met anyone new in those 3 years and for the last 18 months haven't had the energy or inclination to even discuss meeting so if I was inclined to message it would be a bit pointless right now.

I can count on one hand the number of messages I've received so far this year but I'm ok with that and I'll happily chat with anyone who says hello.

I've always been patient and used this site as a hobby more than a lifestyle choice so lots of winks and messages has never been my thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is in a wink? It for me means I am interested. If they do not reply means they not interested.

Make fab what YOU want it to be is my motto.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already "

Hahahaha. Not all single women!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swerve them altogether

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t be shy….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message

I’d message but out of age range! Damn shame

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

In my experience I don't term it as "waiting". I'm not sitting there with the tenterhooks of anticipation.

I rarely message. Most, if not all, of my meets over the last 2½ years have been on the back of women messaging me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message

I’d message but out of age range! Damn shame "

Haha anyone can message ….. I chat to anyone if there profile is appealing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message

I’d message but out of age range! Damn shame

Haha anyone can message ….. I chat to anyone if there profile is appealing

Haha fab won’t let me! But feel free to send one my way if it catches your eye!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already

Hahahaha. Not all single women!"

You scare most of them from trying, even though you're completely welcoming and not at all standoffish

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entlemanrogueMan
over a year ago

Motherwell

I think the majority of men usually have to send the first message.

on occasion i have received a message from a woman or couple but its not a regular thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We don’t share face pics but do blind socials so little point in us messaging people. We wait for people to message us and then explain our situation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asual_WandererWoman
over a year ago

A spot you want me

I message, mostly coz I've stopped them messaging me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message, mostly coz I've stopped them messaging me

Just wow… sent a wink, but fab stopped me haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ralextacyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I am a waiter but that probably doesn't do me any good but I'm sure many profiles get bombarded with message so mine would probably be lost in a mass delete lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asual_WandererWoman
over a year ago

A spot you want me

"I message, mostly coz I've stopped them messaging me

Just wow… sent a wink, but fab stopped me haha"

Does it stop those too... gosh!

Tbh I really enjoy Fab so much more without all the noise and screaming demands of a yellow inbox.

(Almost) wink noted, have a fab day x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I'm a waiter too but if you don't tip me omg

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"I message, mostly coz I've stopped them messaging me

Same. It’s much nicer this way, isn’t it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Waiter’

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ayna20Couple
over a year ago

Kent

Carpe Diem Rodney

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

I tend to wait. Luckily, I'm very patient.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"I'm a waiter"

Could I have the soup of the day please followed by the steak pie n chips.

With Apple crumble and custard for dessert

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’m not looking for anything right now so not bothered either way.

But I wouldn’t message, I prefer to meet people f2f at organised events and take it from there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"What in your opinion is better"

Msg. Why wait and possibly miss out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Why wait? Unless we’ve literally got no time to meet even for a social then we’d message.

Could wait for ages waiting on a message. Plus with messaging you already know there’s an attraction, so that’s better than 98% of your inbox

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Why wait? Unless we’ve literally got no time to meet even for a social then we’d message.

Could wait for ages waiting on a message. Plus with messaging you already know there’s an attraction, so that’s better than 98% of your inbox

K"
omg please tell me he wasn't cooking his sausage on the BBQ

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shy kids don't get sweets."

This.

I tend not to message right away, but usually because I'm trying to come up with a decent opening message rather than the usual drivel.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I message first, like to know where I stand with people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

Message first.. but then have patience.

Dont go all Stan with progressively more aggressive messages until they either reply or block you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Message first.. but then have patience.

Dont go all Stan with progressively more aggressive messages until they either reply or block you."

This

I've had to delete people who I would have otherwise been interested in because of sending more messages. Having no patience to wait for a reply is a red flag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only message fellow forumites to say hi, or comment. If that turns into meets then that's fantastic.

I've found in the past, guys I've contacted haven't really gone anywhere. I think even on here guys like the chace!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I'm too chaste for the chace!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm too chaste for the chace!

You're just special Nero!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Very rarely send a message unless its a reply to forum etc.

MrsAbz

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I like to message, but normally from a forum post or if I get a wink.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I'm too chaste for the chace!

You're just special Nero!

•

And you're far too kind! X²

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *y AmoreMan
over a year ago

london

"'Them' ? As in people you are interested in ?"

Love it when I receive the first message from a lady. It show a lot of confidence and well it’s a massive turn on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"'Them' ? As in people you are interested in ?

Love it when I receive the first message from a lady. It show a lot of confidence and well it’s a massive turn on. "
a message is a turn on or its a turn on because it boosts your ego?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I tend to mix it up as we all are familiar with some messages so it's nice to stand out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *y AmoreMan
over a year ago

london

No i find confident women sexy. Ego has nothing todo with it. It’s always very flattering.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We generally wait on others to show interest.

We may send a wink to prompt, and on occasion we have messaged first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will message first, because if I see a person that interests me, I have nothing to loose by sending a message. I know there may only be a 1% chance that they'll be interested in me but if I don't send a message then that's zero chance. However, I do like to receive messages from people who are interested in me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I will message first, because if I see a person that interests me, I have nothing to loose by sending a message. I know there may only be a 1% chance that they'll be interested in me but if I don't send a message then that's zero chance. However, I do like to receive messages from people who are interested in me."

I recall us starting a conversation a couple if years ago.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I've been waiting for a few years now. It's got to happen soon!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I can see someone's inbox getting very full right now .

A blind man would be interested in you he feel the heat that you radiate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wait

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm never sending a message again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you never message , you may never know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recall us starting a conversation a couple if years ago.

Yes indeed we did.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be abit shy to send first message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I can be abit shy to send first message "

Awww. Cute.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can be abit shy to send first message

Awww. Cute.

Chicken really lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see someone's inbox getting very full right now .

A blind man would be interested in you he feel the heat that you radiate.

It's not often I receive messages maybe half a dozen a week, tops. But that's kind of you to say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

The mountain comes to Mohammed and not the other way round

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

If you book them they will come

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Message, whats the worst that could happen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"If you book them they will come "

In a field of dreams, maybe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I can be abit shy to send first message "

•

It's true. After ² long and arduous years of fruitless winking, she finally messaged me with an inspirational "Hi".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"If you book them they will come

In a field of dreams, maybe.

Wayne’s World

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Message, whats the worst that could happen"

Absolutely this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shy kids don't get sweets."

...but they offer them when they do , they might be shy but certainly are not selfish or self centered

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once you don't hold your breath for a reply when you message you're good to go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onesome swingerMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I tend to message a profile that I am interested in first and express my interest, if they reciprocate all the better.

If I don't receive a response to my message that is perfectly ok.

I have no expectations from being on fab, if a meet happens all well and good, if not there's no harm done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t bother sending messages anymore. No angst or frustration that way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"What in your opinion is better"
Wait to be messaged it works for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eacefulWizardMan
over a year ago

Champéry, Switzerland

"What in your opinion is better"

I've opted that couples should make the move most of the time.

I might send a message, yet too many needy men craving and in sexual distress, I'm just chilling.

When the offer comes up, which for sure reduces the scope, I'm feeling very comfortable standing aligned.

Usually ends up in lovely encounters, and brings a lot of emotional safety, which in terms, brings sensuality and what they like and I like as a match.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tanley FunseekerMan
over a year ago

stanley

Hmmm as a single I’m worried about being perceived as too pushy so I generally wink and hope. Or begin an interaction via one of the forum threads and see what sort of vibe builds

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eacefulWizardMan
over a year ago

Champéry, Switzerland

"Mostly I wait for them to message me, couples and single ladies have enough messages to go through already

Hahahaha. Not all single women!"

Well i must admit your profile hits with a unique sense of Humour, that with a tad of adhd in the bloodstream for wits people don't get

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I'm a waiter"
can i have a coffee please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shy kids don't get sweets."

Or fillings

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It depends on my mood. I have no qualms messaging people first. Starting conversations etc. It depends on how I'm feeling. Some of my favourite people in my life are as a result of me messaging them first.

It's a tricky one because I like when people make an effort with me. I like when people message me first because the majority of the time I'm the one who plans things, who takes the lead etc.

It's nice when I can erm... to use a very woo-woo term... lean into my feminine energy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What in your opinion is better"

Never had a Lady/Couple message me first (unless in response to a Forum Game).. I'd sent a few Winks out but then read on Several Threads about Winks being ignored so now I try and make Relevant comments based on the Profile and send a couple out a week

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I wait till I'm messaged its the only way unless you can put personality into messaging

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilth N KinkCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

We used to wink and if we got a wink back we would send a message, now we’ve started to just send the first message as we have nothing to loose considering we hardly get any replies, more often than not we see the messages just stays unread but that doesn’t put us off from sending them.

More than happy to receive the first message from people who are interested and we will always reply even if it’s to say no thank you.

Kink (female)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"It depends on my mood. I have no qualms messaging people first. Starting conversations etc. It depends on how I'm feeling. Some of my favourite people in my life are as a result of me messaging them first.

It's a tricky one because I like when people make an effort with me. I like when people message me first because the majority of the time I'm the one who plans things, who takes the lead etc.

It's nice when I can erm... to use a very woo-woo term... lean into my feminine energy.

Twit twoo to you

Lady of grace with smile on her face

Who lights up a room

And the words that you say

Soon give away how

Interesting you are too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message, and frame any replies..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

I rarely message first. Only if status is calling for it like looking for a bi guy or going same club same time.

But I always reply to winks and any half decemt message my way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I have never been messaged first on here from a couple or female. Unless if about forum posts. So yes I send winks and sometimes a message at same time. Yes know get profile views. Never sure how many , some in stealth mode so do not see. If I did not message or wink then message box would never light up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Wait....and wait......and wait

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Wait....and wait......and wait "
and wait a bit longer, patience is the key

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

"Wait....and wait......and wait and wait a bit longer, patience is the key

Trust me I know, literally waited years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Wait....and wait......and wait and wait a bit longer, patience is the key

Trust me I know, literally waited years

"
lol awww hey the best way is in a pub or a club but I'm sure you know that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eartsmanMan
over a year ago

southeast , midlands, southern France

I message first. If I had to wait to be messaged first I'd still be waiting

Ive got more chance of winning the lottery

hahahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message. Waiting is too passive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Seize the moment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread