FabSwingers.com forum: Jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly more to do with insecurity

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

"I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

Love and jealousy are very related in my opinion. But the love bit is about yourself. It is loving and understanding yourself and your own reactions.

If you get jealous then it is the wrong relationship (trust yourself and leave), bad communication in the relationship (you both need to work on this and if they won't then leave) or you need to work on yourself (before they leave).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is your view about it?"

What's love but a second-hand emotion, Shag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no. It doesn't have to be love but you certainly need to care about the person to spark the jealousy reaction in the first place.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I think jealousy is a natural human reaction & it's probably more prominent when in love but not exclusively.

There's different types of jealousy being jealous of a friend going on holiday for example.

There's times I get slightly jealous but never at another woman or anything like that, more so if I feel my/family needs/time aren't prioritised even then a little discussion over why generally is all good it's not something that's ever caused an argument.

I think it only becomes an issue when people cant communicate their jealousy and act angrily upon it and much of it comes down to the individuals insecurities in my opinion anyway

Mrs

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Jealousy happens because you don't trust someone... If you are in love with them, you trust them... Therefore don't get jealous... So no, jealousy is nothing to do with love, just insecurity

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

To me jealousy is more about being insecure in oneself & a mindset of owning the other persons body. If you are confident of your bonding of minds then you can enjoy their pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, jealousy happens when I'm in lust rather than love (unless of course it's unrequited love, then I'd be jealous as hell)

Jealousy stems from my insecurities and feeling I'm missing out.

If truly in love, do you ever miss out?

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Possibly more to do with insecurity"
Yes. I also think that it have more to do with insecurity

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

Love and jealousy are very related in my opinion. But the love bit is about yourself. It is loving and understanding yourself and your own reactions.

"
Those are good points too and yes. I also agree with those, that if one gets jealous it is the wrong relationship

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I get jealous when the Mr sleeps through and I'm up with the baby does that mean I'm in the wrong relationship?

Absolutely not my relationship is amazing.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shags - the definition of true love is Pure, Positive Energy… I don’t think I’ve ever experienced even true love without a sprinkling of jealousy, so my jury’s still out on that one!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

Nobody is in a position to judge if someone's love isn't strong enough or to imply that because someone doesn't feel jealousy that they're only calling what they feel love.

You make some interesting threads Shag but I disagree very strongly with this statement of yours

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"What is your view about it?

What's love but a second-hand emotion, Shag?"
Yes, that too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think jealousy is a natural human reaction & it's probably more prominent when in love but not exclusively.

There's different types of jealousy being jealous of a friend going on holiday for example.

I think it only becomes an issue when people cant communicate their jealousy and act angrily upon it and much of it comes down to the individuals insecurities in my opinion anyway

Mrs "
Those are also good points and yes. I also think that jealousy is a natural human reaction

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Jealousy is fear.

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By *ittycock400Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Emotions are complex and everyone will experience them in a different way.

There are plenty of experiences that can cause attachment disorders for instance.

Love and jealousy are two that have a whole range to them. I can be jealous of someone's salary or lifestyle but that won't feel the same as being cheated on or betrayed.

I can love my friends but that is different from how I love my partner or family.

We really over simplify some very complex things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion we call it jealousy but it's usually about something else. Feeling left out or not enough or something else.

And I think those are feelings we are responsible for and need to own before we can move on. Nothing to do with loving someone - whether too much or not enough. Jealousy is toxic if we don't deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poly something something compersion something something etc etc

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By *aenerysCiupacabraCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

Honestly? If you talk about jealousy, you have got the wrong website.

Why? Becouse, sex is sex and making love is marking love..They never mix.

Once a couple understands this, jealousy is just a rumour for them.

Speak open with your partner, if you can't, you are not in the right relationship

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I get jealous if someone's got an ice cream on a hot day and I don't.

I think that answers my stance.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I didn’t like this Tina Turner song

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

Hi op

Anger

Thoughts... 3 types of

Feelings

Emotion

Cognitive

Behaviour

Jealousy is someone who is angry because... Of anything. Including someone who can notch bed posts and someone who cannot get any meets. Or jealous of your partner earning more wages, jealous of anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goes to play jealous guy by Roxy music

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Goes to play jealous guy by Roxy music "

I was dreaming of the past…….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People only get jealous when they really like someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some really cool jealous songs around.. I am jealous.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

To me its a fear of loss i prefer envy at least thats less potent

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"Yes and no. It doesn't have to be love but you certainly need to care about the person to spark the jealousy reaction in the first place. "
Yes, you are right there, both yes and no and the person needs to care first to spark it too

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By *arlequin_tearsMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it"

Jealousy having anything to do with love is the same monogamous shash that associates sex with love.

Sex is not love

Jealousy is not love

It is entirely possible to absolutely love someone with all your heart and not want to fuck them. If you believe this is impossible I worry about how safe your family feels around you.

Jealousy is not about love. It's about your feelings, ego, and the rights you assume you have over another person you have a relationship with.

Mostly, it's an indication that you need to talk to your partner about your expectations and needs.

It's an indication that you have a problem with a situation, not that you love someone.

Sometimes people deliberately stimulate the reaction as a kink.

But it's not love and feeling jealous is not an indication of how much you love someone of how strong your relationship is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it

Jealousy having anything to do with love is the same monogamous shash that associates sex with love.

Sex is not love

Jealousy is not love

It is entirely possible to absolutely love someone with all your heart and not want to fuck them. If you believe this is impossible I worry about how safe your family feels around you.

Jealousy is not about love. It's about your feelings, ego, and the rights you assume you have over another person you have a relationship with.

Mostly, it's an indication that you need to talk to your partner about your expectations and needs.

It's an indication that you have a problem with a situation, not that you love someone.

Sometimes people deliberately stimulate the reaction as a kink.

But it's not love and feeling jealous is not an indication of how much you love someone of how strong your relationship is.

I agree with all you've said about jealousy (but think that your first sentence about monogamy/sex/love is unfair)

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it

Jealousy having anything to do with love is the same monogamous shash that associates sex with love.

Sex is not love

Jealousy is not love

It is entirely possible to absolutely love someone with all your heart and not want to fuck them. If you believe this is impossible I worry about how safe your family feels around you.

Jealousy is not about love. It's about your feelings, ego, and the rights you assume you have over another person you have a relationship with.

Mostly, it's an indication that you need to talk to your partner about your expectations and needs.

It's an indication that you have a problem with a situation, not that you love someone.

Sometimes people deliberately stimulate the reaction as a kink.

But it's not love and feeling jealous is not an indication of how much you love someone of how strong your relationship is.

I came here to pretty much say this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel we can all feel an element of jealousy, it's how we filter it that makes the difference.

I believe ego and possessiveness can bring out the worst side of jealousy, whereas a lack of ego and possessiveness can adds to the thrill for many with the Hotwife or Cuckold dynamics.

In short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that jealousy arises out of insecurity. But I also think it's driven by a gut feeling that the other person is doing something or feeling something more than they are telling you.

As others have mentioned good communication and honesty is the key to limiting how severe the jealousy is, imo.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think most jealousy is borne of fear. And love can be scary.

Communication is key though, and understanding, and lack of game playing.

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
over a year ago

City Centre

Jealousy can raise it's ugly head in many avenues in life, professionally, in families, in friendships, sport etc . It's a very valid emotion that I believe everyone has experience of. Regarding loving sexual relationships, jealousy doesn't equate to showing love. It needs deep communication to work out why a partner may feel that way emotionally.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't see it as exclusive to love, as it transpires from an individual's insecurity. They may feel fear, anger, maybe sadness from an imagined loss, etcml. They perhaps have experience of rejection and their imagination taps into emotions from their past relationships. Normally as children, we learn and develop from our insecurities, so that we don't carry ancient baggage along with us.

Our insecurities may fuel our unrealistic expectations of what others should give us. Healthy partners will resist demands that breach their . boundaries. Some people dislike their partners being with others and experience jealousy when their demands are not met.

A lot of people here have had NSA contacts behaving with apparent jealousy, because they see other people. This is outside of love. Some of the behaviour can be very challenging

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"For me, jealousy happens when I'm in lust rather than love (unless of course it's unrequited love, then I'd be jealous as hell)

Jealousy stems from my insecurities and feeling I'm missing out.

If truly in love, do you ever miss out?

"
Yes, you are right there, jealousy comes from insecurities. I think that one will miss out too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I don't see it as exclusive to love, as it transpires from an individual's insecurity. They may feel fear, anger, maybe sadness from an imagined loss, etcml. They perhaps have experience of rejection and their imagination taps into emotions from their past relationships. Normally as children, we learn and develop from our insecurities, so that we don't carry ancient baggage along with us.

A lot of people here have had NSA contacts behaving with apparent jealousy, because they see other people. This is outside of love. Some of the behaviour can be very challenging

"
That is good and yes, they can feel those things too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I agree that jealousy arises out of insecurity. But I also think it's driven by a gut feeling that the other person is doing something or feeling something more than they are telling you.

As others have mentioned good communication and honesty is the key to limiting how severe the jealousy is, imo."
Those are good points and yes. I also reckon that it is driven by a gut feeling as well

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Like everything to do with human emotions, the truth is shrouded in shades of grey. I would say, for the most part, jealousy is an expression of other states, mostly negative ones: insecurity, envy, fear, and also love. However, it’s not an emotion that necessarily grows in isolation. Insecurity within a relationship can be a product of both sides.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I heard some talking about jealousy and love and what do you think of this, that jealousy doesnt have anything to do with love.

I would say to an extent yes, because If there's no jealousy at all, probably what you re calling love is not strong enough.

What is your view about it?

Have you gone through something similar in your relationship?

Nobody is in a position to judge if someone's love isn't strong enough or to imply that because someone doesn't feel jealousy that they're only calling what they feel love.

You make some interesting threads Shag but I disagree very strongly with this statement of yours "
Yes, that is also good

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think most jealousy is borne of fear. And love can be scary.

Communication is key though, and understanding, and lack of game playing."
Yes, you are right there, communication and understanding is the key too

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