FabSwingers.com forum: Being around people that you don’t like/ don’t like you

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

I love to wind them up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love to wind them up. "

My therapist does not approve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid

I don’t deal with anyone I don’t like and I don’t know or care who doesn’t like me so keeps me smiling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't always avoid it. You are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I currently am trying to avoid but I am the one missing out as I don't get to see my friends as much by not going to events.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can't always avoid it. You are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I currently am trying to avoid but I am the one missing out as I don't get to see my friends as much by not going to events. "

Even with colleagues I don’t like I avoid. Work from home to avoid them where I can

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

In my daily life I just avoid as much as possible.

At work it's difficult, have to deal with someone who is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. I have meetings with him with witnesses present, he's not pleasant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid as much as I can, makes me uncomfortable

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By *ore4fundevonCouple
over a year ago

West Devon

The kids haven't moved out yet so it can't be all bad.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I just tend to keep my distance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't always avoid it. You are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I currently am trying to avoid but I am the one missing out as I don't get to see my friends as much by not going to events. "

I must disagree because if your friends are friends they’ll call on you, invite you and still be around although you avoid the one, or more, people

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

I won't be around them intentionally but if I have to be I'll be sickly sweet to piss them off

Em x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I prefer spending time with those who are positive, rather than a negative. The latter get less of my time and energy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my daily life I just avoid as much as possible.

At work it's difficult, have to deal with someone who is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. I have meetings with him with witnesses present, he's not pleasant.

Won't HR do anything about him?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Try to avoid not allways possible though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't always avoid it. You are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I currently am trying to avoid but I am the one missing out as I don't get to see my friends as much by not going to events.

I must disagree because if your friends are friends they’ll call on you, invite you and still be around although you avoid the one, or more, people

There are friends I can see in smaller groups or smaller socials. But I don't get to see those who live hours away but used to travel here for big events

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By *mrmarkMan
over a year ago

tavistock

Worked for 3 years with a crew that didnt want me there. Loved going into work knowing that it pissed them off more than the petty little things they did to wind me up. Nothing worked. Left the watch manager a note when I left saying that I was going to take the lot of them for harrassment bullying and racist abuse. They shat themselves.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"In my daily life I just avoid as much as possible.

At work it's difficult, have to deal with someone who is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. I have meetings with him with witnesses present, he's not pleasant.

Won't HR do anything about him?"

Nope, he's too valuable an asset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't always avoid it. You are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I currently am trying to avoid but I am the one missing out as I don't get to see my friends as much by not going to events.

I must disagree because if your friends are friends they’ll call on you, invite you and still be around although you avoid the one, or more, people

There are friends I can see in smaller groups or smaller socials. But I don't get to see those who live hours away but used to travel here for big events "

I see

I feel, definitely in my life, social circles decrease in time because of all sorts of factors so it’s better to just appreciate those who mean most to you

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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago

Fairytale Wood

A lot of time round it. I accept there are people that don't like me nor do i really try to be liked.

Try to deal in a professional manner towards them. Try and avoid situations that may give an opportunity of conflict.

Thats as much you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my daily life I just avoid as much as possible.

At work it's difficult, have to deal with someone who is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. I have meetings with him with witnesses present, he's not pleasant.

Won't HR do anything about him?

Nope, he's too valuable an asset

We have one of those too.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I'll always be polite and myself no matter what. Does it get awkward? Yes. Do I kinda enjoy awkward vibes? Also yes.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I don't come across people like this. I'm a very likable person and it's mutual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't avoid and I just mind my own business.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"In my daily life I just avoid as much as possible.

At work it's difficult, have to deal with someone who is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. I have meetings with him with witnesses present, he's not pleasant.

Won't HR do anything about him?

Nope, he's too valuable an asset

We have one of those too.

It absolutely sucks doesn't it? Causes so much stress

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

If it's in a situation where I have to be around them, I just try and do what I can not to engage with them.

Otherwise, I try and avoid situations where I know they will be.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I won't be around them intentionally but if I have to be I'll be sickly sweet to piss them off

Em x"

Yep. Kill ’em with kindness. Be so, so, pleasant they don’t know where to look or what to do.

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By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

Can't avoid them.

Some of these people are called colleagues.

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

I avoid them, peace is a necessity for me in my life.

Harbouring animosity and bad energy that would make me bitter I hate so it has to be avoided for me

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"In my daily life I just avoid as much as possible.

At work it's difficult, have to deal with someone who is an absolute idiot of epic proportions. I have meetings with him with witnesses present, he's not pleasant.

Won't HR do anything about him?

Nope, he's too valuable an asset

We have one of those too.

We three

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

Some avoid conflict.

I actively hunt it down.

I'm not aggressive.

But I am aggressively polite.

I'll talk to them, engage with them and be amenable and sociable.

Then we'll say goodbye and part as we met. On terms of my choosing. Because if I avoid them, they have already set terms and impacted me negatively. So I don't allow that. I will control the narrative and decide how I feel on my terms.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Its just a fact of life. I try to minimise contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoid it as much as possible. It’s just awkward for everyone, especially if they know you don’t like them or they don’t like you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only interact with people that I like and like us back, I hate games and I try to be true to myself and others.

At work, I do have people that don't like me and I don't like them back. I've just kept a straight head, fairness, being civil and respecting a colleague that I do not share personal information and niceties with.

I can be very matter of fact, so I'm used to people not liking me.

Jess xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex is the only person in my life who dislikes me (father of my kids). I'm grey rock with him which works pretty well.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

In a work situation I am an adult and deal with it in a grownup professional manner.

In a social situation I cut them dead, can’t be doing with expending energy on them.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I don't know anyone who doesn't like me,except maybe one of my brother in laws who I haven't seen in years.

I wouldn't avoid family affairs just because he was there.

I can't think of anyone I don't like who I'd want to avoid.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

As a trans Wigan there are a good few people that are very uncomfortable around me and I find the fear / panic on their wretched faces fabulous when I am around , even better when I sit next to them or stand next to them in the group

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Trans women not Wigan ffs

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Trans women not Wigan ffs "

Wigan ain't all it's cracked up to be

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"Trans women not Wigan ffs

Wigan ain't all it's cracked up to be

Tbh the last time I was in Wigan I got lost driving and ended up there. I thought I was in the bad lands

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Trans women not Wigan ffs

Wigan ain't all it's cracked up to be

Tbh the last time I was in Wigan I got lost driving and ended up there. I thought I was in the bad lands

You WERE in the bad lands

Also it has a ridiculous one way system

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t have to do that anymore. Previously I just tolerated it..I’m very patient and hard to wind up.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Who said Wigan?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Play the player for your own gain and benefit to have the control allowing them to think they have the control … letting them think that I do not know what they are really about and where there coming from

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Who said Wigan?

Susie did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't really have to do that any more except at rare family occasions.

I try to avoid people I don't like and hope that people who don't like me try to avoid me.

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London

Of course it sucks, but it rarely ever happens to me, and if it does happen, I do mind in the moment but move on very quickly and find other people to spend my time with.

If they don't like me, I won't be seeing them again.

Why? Do you hang out with people that don't like you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't really have to do that any more except at rare family occasions.

I try to avoid people I don't like and hope that people who don't like me try to avoid me. "

I always avoid usually because a) it makes me uncomfortable and b) it’s better for all of we aren’t in one another’s presence

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Of course it sucks, but it rarely ever happens to me, and if it does happen, I do mind in the moment but move on very quickly and find other people to spend my time with.

If they don't like me, I won't be seeing them again.

Why? Do you hang out with people that don't like you?"

No but I think that sometimes on fab it’s inevitable in some situations. And I’m work it is too.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

I don't like most. So I avoid the.

Those I do like are on varied levels. The more I like you, the more annoying I'm likely to be.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

Avoid when possible.

Tolerate when unavoidable.

I can only think of one person who I'd leave a room if they walked in.

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By *assy69Man
over a year ago

West Sussex and Wales

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

It really depends on how I feel at any given time…… most of the time I can rise above it and be civil….., sometimes in need to avoid them like the plague, other times it amuses me to provoke and agitate them just by being around them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't like most. So I avoid the.

Those I do like are on varied levels. The more I like you, the more annoying I'm likely to be. "

Oh yeah annoying someone you like is ok.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I've met people who (for some reason) did not like me (and showed it). I soon won them around to my way of thinking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

Avoid when possible.

Tolerate when unavoidable.

I can only think of one person who I'd leave a room if they walked in.

It’s possible to avoid. I’m leaning towards that.

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By *rbane PlayerMan
over a year ago

London

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

Why bother? Unless it is for work or money

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes it's unavoidable. I'd much rather give them space to enjoy their time without me causing them drama or stress and I'd like to think the same treatment would be afforded to me.

If there's ongoing drama, I'd sometimes avoid it. Otherwise, just acknowledge and not try and bring bad energy to them. I can't think of anyone in my life who deserves that, not when most people are just trying to enjoy life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's unavoidable. I'd much rather give them space to enjoy their time without me causing them drama or stress and I'd like to think the same treatment would be afforded to me.

I actually think I avoid people sometimes not just for my own peace but for their too. If I’m anxious about seeing them, they could be too and that’s just long. Not good vibes at all

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By *urga2076Woman
over a year ago

London

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

I meditate daily. There’s a beautiful one that talks you through being the ocean, then flying high above like an eagle. Watching your life from above means the waves of annoyances become mere ripples. That is how I now react to such people- ripples that aren’t worthy of a response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

If it’s on YouTube could you post a link?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

Sometimes it's unavoidable, is those instances it's principles before personalities

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Avoid where possible and when not I'm just polite, I'd not want to make anyone uncomfortable whether I dislike them or not.

Mrs

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I'm always polite regardless. No need to cause a scene, or atmosphere to drag other people Into my dislike/their dislike.

Not letting them rent space in my head is easiest for me. I do find it hard to recognise whether someone is shy, or avoiding me though and would prefer to be plain old told. Just like your do you like me thread

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Totally avoid it, life’s too short to spend time with people you don’t like

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm always polite regardless. No need to cause a scene, or atmosphere to drag other people Into my dislike/their dislike.

You’re so wise!

And actually that thread was really good for me because I have a clear idea of who doesn’t like me and whose company I should avoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never waste my precious time to be around someone I don't like. If it was a passive meet like I was with someone who brought someone else I happened to not like then I'd just be civil like everyone should be.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's unavoidable. I'd much rather give them space to enjoy their time without me causing them drama or stress and I'd like to think the same treatment would be afforded to me.

I actually think I avoid people sometimes not just for my own peace but for their too. If I’m anxious about seeing them, they could be too and that’s just long. Not good vibes at all"

No it's not. At all. And yes, it's not so much about my peace as it is also theirs. I don't want to not enjoy things, I don't want other people to not enjoy things.

If I'm feeling really anxious at the thought of seeing someone, it's not a good sign. So I either make sure mentally I'm in a strong enough place that I can negate any bad energy or I bow out to avoid adding fuel to the fire.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's unavoidable. I'd much rather give them space to enjoy their time without me causing them drama or stress and I'd like to think the same treatment would be afforded to me.

I actually think I avoid people sometimes not just for my own peace but for their too. If I’m anxious about seeing them, they could be too and that’s just long. Not good vibes at all

No it's not. At all. And yes, it's not so much about my peace as it is also theirs. I don't want to not enjoy things, I don't want other people to not enjoy things.

Another wise one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This thread has been validating but also really helpful for me.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Do you avoid it? Do you mind it? What are the vibes?

I guess that’s slightly better but it still feels very rooted in a fixed minded that things are how they are and you can’t change them , but just re-condition your response to them. Which is still 100% reactive-responsive , just like a medicated version of most people

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Not letting them rent space in my head is easiest for me."

This sums it up well. There will always be idiots, letting them pass by is a good coping strategy.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

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By *annibal_LickedherMan
over a year ago

The Side of the Mersey

I’ve started to avoid it. I only really do things I want to do now rather than forcing myself to do stuff just cos my mates do as well. Like golf for example. I hate golf but I used to play just cos my mates did and I felt left out if I didn’t join in.

Now I just let them enjoy it without me and we do stuff together that we all like on another day etc

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

I avoid most people especially those I dislike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve started to avoid it. I only really do things I want to do now rather than forcing myself to do stuff just cos my mates do as well. Like golf for example. I hate golf but I used to play just cos my mates did and I felt left out if I didn’t join in.

Now I just let them enjoy it without me and we do stuff together that we all like on another day etc "

And I bet you feel so much happier now. Authenticity really is the key

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

Kill them with kindness, and smile oh so sweetly

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By *ecretSilverlinkMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Love being around people who don’t like me. I always greet them and smile in their face to show who the adult is. Was taught to always be kind to people.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

Is this thread about being at work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love being around people who don’t like me. I always greet them and smile in their face to show who the adult is. Was taught to always be kind to people. "

Some would say showing their dislike IS adult.

Don’t you find it a tad draining and a waste of energy focusing on them enough to show you’re more ‘adult’ than they are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be civilised with those I don't necessarily gel with.

Or I can co exist as if they don't exist quite comfortably too.

Or I can have a laugh with them when we both know the feelings mutual and get out digs in at each other in the process if that's the dynamic.

I had one person outright tell me they didn't like me and I had to be around them a lot. I told him I didn't like him either. Small conversation as to why and we got on just fine after that. Sometimes helps to make your feelings known.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I work with a few people I can’t stand.

Avoiding them and staying employed would be impossible, so I act in a professional manner around them, but don’t interact outside of work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid like the plague if I can help it. I don't need that stress.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don't like you, you'll know. Apparently I don't hide my feelings very well.

If you don't like me, I'd just be over friendly and a general dick.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I just whack on the customer service face and wait for an opportunity to leave without appearing rude.

If I don't want to be around someone at all, I'll skip that and just leave.

I don't thrive on it, I don't mind it too much, but I'd rather spend time with people that bring me joy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By boss. I grew with what he says but then he does the opposite. Complete hypocrite. Smile and do my job and go home!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

Oh I knew that wasn’t about me. Just wanted to let you know

My narcissism has some bounds x

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

Oh I knew that wasn’t about me. Just wanted to let you know

My narcissism has some bounds x"

We’ll see

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

Wait until we meet in Manchester (aubergine emoji)

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

All that's missing now is Brucey saying something wildly random

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

Wait until we meet in Manchester (aubergine emoji) "

Handbags at MLS

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

Wait until we meet in Manchester (aubergine emoji)

Handbags at MLS

Can’t wait

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

I can’t find enough

for this one

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"All that's missing now is Brucey saying something wildly random

Cheese scone, anyone?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

Wait until we meet in Manchester (aubergine emoji)

Handbags at MLS

Can’t wait

Play nicely Rexie

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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Either way I don't change what I'm doing or where I am at all. I don't try to avoid. I just don't engage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

Wait until we meet in Manchester (aubergine emoji)

Handbags at MLS

Can’t wait

Hopefully you will have a beer together and be friends.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t actively seek them out, but i come across someone, it makes my day, I go out of my way to be overly polite and nice to them.

Sometimes you can hear the piss boiling inside.

The mr

^^ this

I just wouldn’t respond to you

Not everything is about you Steve, difficult concept to understand

but you’ll figure it out with time. Much love

So much sexual tension, get a room fellas....

Wait until we meet in Manchester (aubergine emoji)

Handbags at MLS

Can’t wait

Hopefully you will have a beer together and be friends.

Bagsy not buying.

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