FabSwingers.com forum: Understanding mental health

By *andyman4uanddiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

oxford

Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

have you spoken to a counsellor

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Medication can be very helpful for many people.

You may need to seek out therapy, unfortunately close to non existent on the NHS.

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

There is always a better way OP Always

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

There are different ways to deal with mental health.

They will depend on circumstances and what caused your depression.

I'm living with it.

In fact, you wouldn't know I have any mental health issues.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I can only tell you how I eventually dealt with it.

I suffered in silence for years before seeking help which led to medication and CBT.

I got nothing from either but a number of things happened around the time I turned 50 which made me look at life differently and I realised that talking about things wasn't a solution for me.

All that did was trap me in the rabbit hole.

The only answer was to get out and do.

In my case it was escaping to the mountains and the effect that had was amazing.

It's not a solution for everyone but finding a passion for something can make those dark days so much brighter.

I would still advocate speaking to professionals but don't rely on meds alone.

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By *hrimper36Couple
over a year ago

Central France dept 36

Take any help offered and when you feel stronger ween yourself off of any meds under doctors advice.

In the past I’ve felt that I’ve known my body better than doctors but I really didn’t and now I can see what an idiot I was.

Breathe deeply.

Take things slowly.

Learn to like who you are.

Best of luck op.

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By *andyman4uanddiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

oxford

"There are different ways to deal with mental health.

They will depend on circumstances and what caused your depression.

I'm living with it.

In fact, you wouldn't know I have any mental health issues. "

I wish i knew....i have suffered on and off for years but keep going as i am fully aware there are people far worse of than me, buti feel lost and trapped...those around me have no idea

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

"There are different ways to deal with mental health.

They will depend on circumstances and what caused your depression.

I'm living with it.

In fact, you wouldn't know I have any mental health issues.

I wish i knew....i have suffered on and off for years but keep going as i am fully aware there are people far worse of than me, buti feel lost and trapped...those around me have no idea

Reach out to anyone close to you that you believe you can trust

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

It's crappie mate . I've had it for 10 years and probably will be life as its due to ptsd. I find most of it is triggered by idiots so I try to avoid them . Make sure you take time for yourself and try to get your mother on board as its really not helping. If you are on meds and are still bad after a Month go back to the quacks as they might not be the right ones for you . I had 3 different ones before citalapram helped but then we had to get the dose right.always question your quack its your body and you know what it's telling you. Best wishes coming from my direction mate.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Real men cry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have lots of people here to support you OP real men do show emotion and do talk about it yes in some situations we have to solider on through, reach out and get help things won’t just magically improve.

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

"Real men cry."

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

For a start op ignore your mother that's terrible advice, real men have feelings & can show them, all that macho make bullshit is the reason so many men suffer alone in silence.

Speak to the drs about alternative therapies if your not comfortable taking the medication, there are some apps and things that can help too mind app or online CBT courses.

Talk to people don't hide it, it's a lonely place trying to hide yourself.

Wishing you all the best OP.

Mrs

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I've heard people Google Mind website for help. I don't know enough about it to say it is helpful to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See if any local charities can help. I found a counsellor and a therapist through a local charity.

Good luck

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Look for an "Andy's man club" near you.

Also CALM is a good website.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I used to think people suffering from poor mental health were weak OP.

Until it happened to me.

A humbling experience that I came back from with the help of medication. Give it a try or talk to someone please mate.

Plenty of mental health threads on here that are worth looking at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been there, personally I've found taking medication is a great short term solution. But they are certainly no fix, they only delay the inevitable. They also dum down your feelings, emotions and sexual pleasure

I've found talking about the issues helped, but even that doesn't for me solve the issues or my ability to accept them.

But I suppose it depends on the cause, for me I can't process / accept / handle certain situations, things that have happened (family related). Leaving me depressed and previously suicidal.

My way of dealing long term is to not to dwell on the issues, if they pop up in my head or conversation now, I change the subject or distract myself doing something else. I have learnt to put my issues in a box and to keep that box closed.

My partner tells me that's not healthy. But it's keeping me sane and functioning and allowing me to move on in life, some what.

Just do what you feels best for you. And just remember life is for living, so live it now, enjoy shit and keep finding things to make you happy.

All the best. Mr.

Oh, and don't let anyone give you shit for needing a good cry for me time to time. We've all done it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jay here...

I suffered terribly many moons ago, anxiety and depression... attempted on my own life multiple times it was that bad so I'd say I have a clear understanding aye.

I tried meds and cbt and it did nothing for me... what I learnt was to make changes... changed everything and became a new me. We all have the ability to change anything within our lives, you just gotta do it.

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By *OYFBWoman
over a year ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

I’ve been on meds for 2.5 years and they help a bit. Still get a lot of low days though. Hope you’re okay.

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By *ootyfruityCouple
over a year ago

andover

I went into a depressive spiral after my dad passed, having bad thoughts didn’t really want to be here. But I got counselling and it really helped, unfortunately had to go private, but it actually made me a stronger person!

I even changed careers which is something I was debating for a while

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Right first stop listening to your mother.

Your way out of this is as individual as you are. It may be worth identifying what is causing your depression.

Medication works, sort of. They definitely work on some of the symptoms.

Talking might help, doesn't work for everyone but maybe worth exploring.

Lifestyle makes a difference. Booze and other recreationals don't help. They might mask things short term but that's all that happens. Negative people don't help, people that keep putting you down need to be kept at a distance. Eating and sleeping properly is easy said but they help. Exercise may work for you, maybe walking swimming cycling or lifting might help. Animals and pets can make a difference too.

None of the above will work in the short term and in isolation. It will take a combination of them and time. Keep at it.

If you haven't talk to your GP if possible. There's benefit in saying I think I'm depressed to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

Well, I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, real men DO cry!! I take meds and they work for me, but don't work for everyone. Feel free to message if you want.

Mrs

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By *andyman4uanddiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

oxford

"I went into a depressive spiral after my dad passed, having bad thoughts didn’t really want to be here. But I got counselling and it really helped, unfortunately had to go private, but it actually made me a stronger person!

I even changed careers which is something I was debating for a while "

I think a lot of my problems started when my dad died many years ago...thanks for your advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jay here...

I suffered terribly many moons ago, anxiety and depression... attempted on my own life multiple times it was that bad so I'd say I have a clear understanding aye.

Get advice Jay

Proof that things can improve if people take advice and act … glad life is treating you well and long may it do so

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By *ootyfruityCouple
over a year ago

andover

I even changed careers which is something I was debating for a while

I think a lot of my problems started when my dad died many years ago...thanks for your advice"

We live in a different time, talking about mental health is important unfortunately I had to go for private counselling due to the nhs wait. But it was hugely worth it

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

It is OK to break a little sometimes. Everyone does in their own way.

Real men cry.

The stiff upper lip thing is bullshit.

I have seen some of your other posts and you have a lot going for you with this. The biggest thing is you acknowledge it. You admit to how you feel. You are seeking help. This is all strong positive behaviour.

You also have a lot of support on here, much from people who have been through it themselves or by experience with partners.

It is a complex, volatile and very individual condition but there are many things that help.

My ex wrote down her successes. Situations she coped with. Triggers she avoided. Happy places to think of when the situation felt like it was closing in.

These little things can help for some people.

Try and find your own coping mechanisms if you can and try to ge medical help too.

Please know there are a lot of us here to help in any way we can.

I saw how you handled your work situation the other day and how you explained it to your supervisor. You made decisions and took actions positively. You might be stronger than you feel.

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By *lexm87Man
over a year ago

Various

You've taken the first step and asked for advice. Take your time, find a new hobby, or revisit an old one.

Aim for small wins at first - it sometimes really does come down to taking one day at a time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not alone even though it feels like you are.

Have you thought about joining a local group for men who are struggling? It's good to talk in a space where you know others relate to how you're feeling.

There's nothing wrong wrong medication. It's worth trying to see if it can help to improve your mindset.

If your GP hasn't already, ask them to refer you for therapy. Again, it is worth a try.

I know it's frustrating when it feels like nobody wants to help but try not to take it personally. My brother took his own life and doctors didn't give two fucks whenever he went in to speak to them so he just kind of felt like he didn't matter and ended up turning against them. I know they are shit but people do care about what you're going through even if it doesn't feel like it.

You'll find someone who will listen, unfortunately you might just have to sift through people until you get there. But that's why a space for men might be a good idea in the meantime.

Spend time with people who lift you up. Can you look for some hobbies?

Whatever you do, don't drink or do drugs or anything else that will send you into a deeper depression.

And never forget that it's absolutely fine to be a man and cry and get upset and feel like shit. Allow yourself to feel how you feel and be fucking nice to yourself. You are worthy of life.

Sending a hug to you and anyone else struggling right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had to say it’s lovely and refreshing to see everyone come together to give help and advice, it shows what a wonderful bunch we really have on here and being new it’s actually made me take a step back and feel lucky to be part of it all, I know this place has it faults and people have issues with others etc but it seems when it really counts we do have lots of decent members.

This is such a serious issue and I do hope that the advice and support helps OP and I for one wish you the very best in finding the path you need

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"There are different ways to deal with mental health.

They will depend on circumstances and what caused your depression.

I'm living with it.

In fact, you wouldn't know I have any mental health issues.

I wish i knew....i have suffered on and off for years but keep going as i am fully aware there are people far worse of than me, buti feel lost and trapped...those around me have no idea

The degree of depression is irrelevant.

You need to find your way of dealing with it.

My depression wasn't affected by me being indoors or outdoors, or by what I did or who I was with.

I needed medication. Without it I wouldn't be here now, and not because I wanted to harm myself, but because I couldn't live with the physical problems that came with my illness.

The nervous system is very complicated and is affected by many things.

You have to get the right help from the right people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try contacting MIND please do not suffer on your own. Talk to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spent too long with the thinking of 'there's people worse than me' and so didn't reach out and ask. That was my mistake as my situation escalated with only one way out...

I changed my mindset to 'I have to ask and its not selfish to ask'

Hope that made sense OP

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Mothers don't know everything and everyone cries. It is a human emotion and is actually a good stress release.

Contact your GP there is help out there but it takes time to access it.

Don't wait until things are too bad before you ask for help.

Depression is an illness like any other and we need help to heal.

It's not easy to admit you are struggling, I'm currently going through it myself, I have my assessment appointment booked for the 5th September.

Please don't wait thinking you matter less than others and others are worse than you. If you don't get sorted you will become one of the worse ones.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

Hi OP, firstly…. Ignore your mothers take on the situation. Real men do cry and her advice at best is unhelpful and at worst harmful.

I would suggest that you take note of anything that’s triggering your low mood or anxiety and avoid these things as much as possible. Eg Perhaps certain ‘friends’/ family members that could be bringing you down or giving toxic vibes? Certain scenarios or locations stressing you out?

Contact your doctor and discuss options for support. Medication might help but isn’t necessarily the best solution for everyone. If your doctor is shit or makes you feel worse, try and get a different one.

Mind charity, Samaritans, Manup charity or Mayo clinic can all provide support and information.

Try and make sure you’re doing the basics to look after yourself. Cut out drink/drugs that are known depressors. Get fresh air, exercise, good diet, try and maintain good quality sleep. Make time to do things that you enjoy and make you feel good.

If you work, could your employer offer any additional support? Is your workload manageable? Some workplaces have employee assistance services that offer free counselling sessions or helplines. Some have access to free or discounted wellbeing services.

What would make you feel good - try and spend more time doing that. Getting out in nature? Boxing? Animals? Writing a journal? Having a professional massage? All are good to help manage stress and boost mood.

Good luck OP - keep talking

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By *abyblues2023Woman
over a year ago

Everywhere and Nowhere baby thats where im at

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

I understand it as live with it daily

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

You need to talk to a councillor, they will give you things to cope with these issues.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

go to the NICE website and look up depression in adults. It will give you an idea of how the NHS is supposed to treat it. You can go to the GP armed. It considers co-morbidities (long term physical conditions, substance misuse, pregnancy - but I'm hoping we can rule that out

A person a post or so above me stated some good strategies - you can look up sleep hygiene, seek counselling through occupational health via your employer, keeping away from mood Hoovers (people who do the opposite to supporting you and drain you). Charities such as MIND.

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

If work is making things worse, consider going off sick. If you love you job and it's a big part of your identity, then it's good to work but still consider if you need a week or more break, especially when you first take anti-depressants as they often have side effects when you start.

Good luck

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple
over a year ago

carluke

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

You’ve conquered the first challenge - you recognised you have a problem and you’ve been to the docs. Take that as a positive.

Don’t dismiss the drugs, they may help get you on an even keel to then start working through your challenges. As everyone has said, try to get as much help as possible, try all the options - because you don’t know which one will work for you.

I have changed just about everything in my life since I was diagnosed with depression. My career, my home life, my social life and I am much happier for it. It wasn’t a quick fix, but worth it.

Yes you will have good days and bad days, but so do people without depression - the difference is they can put the bad days behind them easier, but so can you with once you get the help you need

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

Well pardon me for saying this but your mother is an idiot and very wrong! I battled for many years with depression and eventually sought help from the doctor 3 years ago.. best decision I ever made a combination of antidepressants and cognitive behavioural therapy helped immensely. Don't bottle things up , feel free to message me if you need to vent. Good luck op

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

Their used to be many many years ago, before Blair's care in the community, removing facilities and access to residence.

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By *andyman4uanddiscreet OP Man
over a year ago

oxford

"OP

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

Good luck

Thankyou x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Hi I think your mums advice is so outdated , sorry, but it’s the attitudes of previous generations, and the reluctance to a knowledge mental health as being a thing & seek help, that’s partly to blame for the high numbers of children and grandchildren suffering.

Luckily, things are changing and people are so more open to see to seek help now, so the future is actually looking better for their children.

You should start with a doctor. Somethings need treating with drugs, some with therapies or a combination of both. Drugs can be really useful and put you in place where you can address the issues in other ways. Think of it like a painkiller for chronic back pain that enables you to go to the gym and start losing weight

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

Having supported people I care about through years of mental health and suicide attempts this kind of advice makes me so sad.

This is what normal people do to stay mentally strong. It’s awful advice for someone with a mental illness

It’s like telling someone paralysed, just get up and go for a walk.

Get professional help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

Having supported people I care about through years of mental health and suicide attempts this kind of advice makes me so sad.

This is what normal people do to stay mentally strong. It’s awful advice for someone with a mental illness

It’s like telling someone paralysed, just get up and go for a walk.

Get professional help

That's not fair - the person who posted this list also posted about seeking professional help.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

Having supported people I care about through years of mental health and suicide attempts this kind of advice makes me so sad.

This is what normal people do to stay mentally strong. It’s awful advice for someone with a mental illness

It’s like telling someone paralysed, just get up and go for a walk.

Get professional help

Actually it's not awful advice. It's about finding something, anything, that breaks the spiralling. It's not an exhaustive list. And it's damn hard and worthy of self congrats when done (recognising the effort taken).

Coming out of depression is a journey, sometimes a very long journey. Each individual can be supported medically, physically, emotionally and psychologically, but it is THEIR journey.

Another term, a better term for distraction is being mindful. It helps out the intrusive thoughts. Really experience ALL the senses in what you're doing. What part of the journey this is done is down to the individual.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

GP and Counselling OP

They will tailor a recovery plan that's is suited for you

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

Feel free to message me I can give you good advice I've been through a lot and hit rock bottom and like you say doctors want you to take prescribed drugs all that does is avoid the problem.. like when you have a headache that is your body giving you a warning it wasn't asking for pain killers.. whenever I've given straight shooting advice people attack it on here as it seems people encourage all the negative options..

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

Feel for you mate off work at the moment with work related stress and anxiety.

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By *aps1Man
over a year ago

North Wales / Chester

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

I also suffer with depression and anxiety for a good few years now. But thankfully I have learnt to control myself. You have done the hardest thing here. Getting it out there and talking to people is one of the best things you can do. It really helped me and when you realise your not alone it will get better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op the first step is asking for help so well done.

Noone should ever tell anyone , real men don't cry or there are people worse off than you.

Look up " I had a black dog"

I've struggled for years but I work on myself daily, I've removed the negative toxic people from my life.

Stay strong and try everything some will work some won't but you need to find what works for you

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

"Does anyone really? I am struggling with depression and anxiety and some days are worse than others....my mothers take on me is real men dont cry

thanks makes me feel so much better...all docs want to do is shove drugs down me...do i give in or is there a better way ?"

if you need medication you need medication

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Of course men cry.. nothing wrong with that.. personally I've only cried in my adult life when my dog died.. we all react differently to stress trauma and sadness.. I tend to turn very cold and heartless it's a coping mechanism that shuts off my emotions before I go to a bad place.. depression is your mind giving you a warning sign something isn't right in your life.. it's not asking for drugs to numb the feeling of forget it because it will return when they wear off.. it needs to be tackled head on. Sometimes it can be a result of stress and worry due to financial difficulties which leads to you being depressed about your job and a sense of lack of achievement.. sometimes it can be relationship related or the friends you keep .. diagnose the direct problem and work on it.. also find ways to increase your endorphins exercise activities.. spend time outside get sun on your skin .. don't drink tap water.. drink spring water.. you'll find people who aren't enjoying life are living inside unsocial life's.. get out stay busy attack life

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

There is a theory that depression has not evolved from its origins: your brain is getting you to slow down, to isolate yourself. It wants to go into hibernation in order to repair/correct the balance of neurotransmitters. In today's society it is nigh on impossible for the majority of people to do that. Anti-depressants are akin to taking iron tablets, to restore balance, not to dumb down feelings.

The brain can restore balance on its own for some. NOT for all.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

Having supported people I care about through years of mental health and suicide attempts this kind of advice makes me so sad.

This is what normal people do to stay mentally strong. It’s awful advice for someone with a mental illness

It’s like telling someone paralysed, just get up and go for a walk.

Get professional help

Coming out of depression is a journey, sometimes a very long journey. Each individual can be supported medically, physically, emotionally and psychologically, but it is THEIR journey.

I’m sure if you just feeling a bit low, going for a walk or doing a bit of exercise, having a bath early night will help.

But when suffering with clinical depression or other mental illness, it’s like saying there is nothing wrong with you, pull yourself together have a bath and an early night etc.

Mindfulness is great for the mentally well to stay mentally well and of course, sells a lot of books

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"There is a theory that depression has not evolved from its origins: your brain is getting you to slow down, to isolate yourself. It wants to go into hibernation in order to repair/correct the balance of neurotransmitters. In today's society it is nigh on impossible for the majority of people to do that. Anti-depressants are akin to taking iron tablets, to restore balance, not to dumb down feelings.

The brain can restore balance on its own for some. NOT for all."

Would you give the same advice to someone with Cancer or serious disease? Just find what works for you ?

Of course you wouldn’t. It’s clear by your theory above you don’t believe mental lines is real like physical illness.

Do you know how many people take their lives each year because instead of getting proper professional help; they have dumb ass friends , family telling my them to pull themselves out id it, try a bit of yoga, you just need to think happy thoughts , join a gym….

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I can’t comprehend the omnipresent mentality of telling boys/men it’s not ok to cry, the “boys don’t cry” mentality is incredibly unhealthy and damaging. It makes me upset when I hear that.

Both my boys were taught that it’s ok to cry and they are the strongest people I know.

Nobody should be shamed for crying.

Nobody should ever apologise for crying.

Crying is healing, it’s how your body regulates itself.

Hope you’ll find your peace OP. Reach out to people who can help and all the best x

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Distraction, reading, writing, music, fresh air, exercise, dancing, punching a pillow, showering... There are so many things that help people - find your ways.

Having supported people I care about through years of mental health and suicide attempts this kind of advice makes me so sad.

This is what normal people do to stay mentally strong. It’s awful advice for someone with a mental illness

It’s like telling someone paralysed, just get up and go for a walk.

Get professional help

Coming out of depression is a journey, sometimes a very long journey. Each individual can be supported medically, physically, emotionally and psychologically, but it is THEIR journey.

I’m sure if you just feeling a bit low, going for a walk or doing a bit of exercise, having a bath early night will help.

But when suffering with clinical depression or other mental illness, it’s like saying there is nothing wrong with you, pull yourself together have a bath and an early night etc.

Mindfulness is great for the mentally well to stay mentally well and of course, sells a lot of books"

Do you know the difference between clinical depression and depression?

Like another poster stated, I didn't just put that paragraph

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

The brain can restore balance on its own for some. NOT for all.

Would you give the same advice to someone with Cancer or serious disease? Just find what works for you ?

Of course you wouldn’t. It’s clear by your theory above you don’t believe mental lines is real like physical illness.

You're a selective reader. Not worth my time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate. There is plenty of help out there. Go see your doc, get a referral to someone that can help. Maybe get on a CBT course as suggested above. They will really help.

This is not the site to be on for a guy with depression. It is too addictive and will keep you up when you need regular sleep.

It can be fun but you need to be pretty resilient given that there are many more men than women on here and many men pretending to be couples of women.

If you stay on here, stick to the forums until your resilience is stronger. Take care of yourself dude.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

People always arguing on here and trying to prove each other wrong .. just give your advice and don't worry about what others think or say why waste your time? Doesn't have to always be an argument of right and wrong ..

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

OP, apologies if my first post wasn't clear. I fully advocate professional help. Sadly there's a postcode lottery as to how long you'll have to wait for a referral. Hence directing you to NICE. And then in the meantime looking into advice from MIND, accessing Occy health if your work offers that service.

Another route is to look into online/telephone talking therapies and group therapy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi.

My firend suffers from mental health she has panic attacks but she is fighting it she is now in paid job and its helping her massively she hands had panic attack since before chrstmas hope this helps everyone is a fighter

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Anyone suffering please go to the NHS website. In the search box key in NHS talking therapies. You don't have to wait for a doctor to refer you, you can do it yourself.

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