FabSwingers.com forum: Toxic Gym Culture and Creeps.

By *hePerkyPumpkin OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

This is a new one to me.

I don't go to regular gyms (I go to climbing gyms where everyone is nice) so this is a problem that passes me by.

But is it really as bad as people are making out?

Are guys always creeping on women or are women looking for any excuse to call creep on a guy?

Much of what I've seen so far looks perfectly innocent to me...

But I'm not a woman and I don't have to deal with stuff like that in my life.

What're your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, it's mostly people moaning about it because they want you to know they go to the 'gym'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I don't go the gym....

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I’ve stopped going to gyms now as there’s too many cases of toxic behaviour, people recording their work outs or just being overly aggressive.

I went to work out and improve my health, not to have to keep dodging phones, aggressive idiots and “gymfluencers”

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

No, I don’t think they’re as bad as some people make out.

Most gyms are nice, friendly places with great people but like anywhere, unfortunately there’ll always be the odd bad apple / tosser.

Most gyms offer introductory visits or guest passes - maybes pay them a visit for a workout first before you commit to a membership so you can get a feel for the atmosphere

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We don't see any of that at our gym. People go and exercise and keep themselves to themselves, or some exercise with a partner, or some chat to friends. We've never seen any such issues in many years going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a new one to me.

I don't go to regular gyms (I go to climbing gyms where everyone is nice) so this is a problem that passes me by.

But is it really as bad as people are making out?

Are guys always creeping on women or are women looking for any excuse to call creep on a guy?

Much of what I've seen so far looks perfectly innocent to me...

But I'm not a woman and I don't have to deal with stuff like that in my life.

What're your thoughts? "
I get looked at it doesn't bother me. I am cordial if asked anything. It's no different than being somewhere outside of a gym.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son’s an avid gym-goer and according to him the gyms are lovely with male & female supporting each other. Most that go are serious about fitness. Some keep their heads down and just train, some are ‘influencers’ with a few middling in between, finding their place. It’s a social setting all said and done so the type’s you find there, you’ll find everywhere else. Everyone has a camera though so no privacy whatsoever

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

There are always extremes but they are overall the minority.

Most people are friendly and helpful. They just want to work out themselves.

I avoid gyms as best I can because I just don't like people much. Less so the atmosphere and judgement, and just avoid the people!

But as I say, most don't even care you are there. Guys will look because we often glance anyway. Even out on the street women will catch my eye, I'll look (not stare) then go about my business.

In gyms I've "stared" at a woman doing something impressive or checking she is using the right form etc to some this will be viewed as unwanted attention (yes I guess it is in a way) but nothing disrespectful or sinister. Just simply appreciation for what they are doing or to help out if I can.

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By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon

I think of a large proportion of the toxicity comes from women filming men going about their workouts who happen to glance in their direction.

In my opinion, filming people without their permission in order to lambast them on social media is egregious.

When I go to the gym, I'm too focused on my in workout to pay much attention to others.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Never had any issues myself. The occasional person looking at you but that’s likely just a passing glance between sets. I’ve never felt uncomfortable.

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By *hePerkyPumpkin OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Nice to see that most people are having positive experiences with their gym.

I guess as always we tend to see the extremes/skewed side of things on social media

I was just shocked at how many videos there are of people getting outraged over what looked like perfectly innocent/minor things

Like, is it really that big a deal if someone walks in front of your camera?

Or glances at you?

Or walks past?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

A lot of it is clout chasing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice to see that most people are having positive experiences with their gym.

I guess as always we tend to see the extremes/skewed side of things on social media

I was just shocked at how many videos there are of people getting outraged over what looked like perfectly innocent/minor things

Like, is it really that big a deal if someone walks in front of your camera?

Or glances at you?

Or walks past?"
Majority of the time it's wannabe influencers trying to make themselves special.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice to see that most people are having positive experiences with their gym.

I guess as always we tend to see the extremes/skewed side of things on social media

I was just shocked at how many videos there are of people getting outraged over what looked like perfectly innocent/minor things

Like, is it really that big a deal if someone walks in front of your camera?

Or glances at you?

Or walks past?"

Pretty sure much of these scenarios are set up or blown out of proportion

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By *hePerkyPumpkin OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Nice to see that most people are having positive experiences with their gym.

I guess as always we tend to see the extremes/skewed side of things on social media

I was just shocked at how many videos there are of people getting outraged over what looked like perfectly innocent/minor things

Like, is it really that big a deal if someone walks in front of your camera?

Or glances at you?

Or walks past? Majority of the time it's wannabe influencers trying to make themselves special."

I'm the protagonist syndrome

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By *moochyvibesMan
over a year ago

Nearby

There are so many cardio machines at the gym, someone will come on the treadmill next to you and then compete which is okay but not if they stare at you like you're an alien.

Tiktok, story posters every 5 minutes, record your progress but also respect other people...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No in my experience, it's the toxic attention craving women that are the problem.

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By *hePerkyPumpkin OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"No in my experience, it's the toxic attention craving women that are the problem."

Do you think it might create a sort of - boy who cried wolf - problem?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

The gym I use has no such behaviour that I've seen. It's not to say it never happens though. I usually have a PT to help me, but last week, he made a scheduling boo-boo so I did it alone. Because I use a wheelchair I had to ask other gym users to help me, e.g. pass over dumbbells etc. Each person I asked was male (just who happened to be closest and able to hear me) and everyone was lovely, seemed happy to help and one guy kept an eye out to pre-empt me needing a hand rather than asking. I found everyone very helpful. Let's be honest though, I'm not a typical size or shape or appearance for someone to "creep on". I am not that sort of build. My experience is not representative of everyone's, obviously.

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By *hePerkyPumpkin OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"The gym I use has no such behaviour that I've seen. It's not to say it never happens though. I usually have a PT to help me, but last week, he made a scheduling boo-boo so I did it alone. Because I use a wheelchair I had to ask other gym users to help me, e.g. pass over dumbbells etc. Each person I asked was male (just who happened to be closest and able to hear me) and everyone was lovely, seemed happy to help and one guy kept an eye out to pre-empt me needing a hand rather than asking. I found everyone very helpful. Let's be honest though, I'm not a typical size or shape or appearance for someone to "creep on". I am not that sort of build. My experience is not representative of everyone's, obviously. "

See that's what I expect from people, I'd hate to feel like I'm walking on eggshells the whole time

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

"Nice to see that most people are having positive experiences with their gym.

I guess as always we tend to see the extremes/skewed side of things on social media

I was just shocked at how many videos there are of people getting outraged over what looked like perfectly innocent/minor things

Like, is it really that big a deal if someone walks in front of your camera?

Or glances at you?

Or walks past?"

No, but some people like to make it one, or have such shallow lives that it becomes one. I'm not gym-goer, but can think of other situations I've seen where from where I was standing, it was a non-event, but someone else has ended up getting worked up about some (in my opinion perceived or inconsequential) slight that it's escalated way beyond what it needed to, followed by all the drama, discussion, more discussion, looking for meanings, trying to make it into some big thing to justify the reaction, etc.

I was in Starbucks the other day and some [adult] woman on the table opposite must have spent a good 20 minutes going on and on at her dad who had 'followed' someone's page that she'd fallen out with ages ago and how stupid he'd made her look by doing it and this and that and on and on, lecturing him on how he'd done it, why he'd done it, blah blah blah... I got the impression he'd just thought "oh, that's mildly interesting" and hit 'follow', with no more thought about it, but to her... I don't think I've ever seen such a small mole hill turned into such a big mountain. I almost turned to them and asked if they knew it's possible to 'unfollow' it...

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"I think of a large proportion of the toxicity comes from women filming men going about their workouts who happen to glance in their direction.

In my opinion, filming people without their permission in order to lambast them on social media is egregious.

When I go to the gym, I'm too focused on my in workout to pay much attention to others. "

Exactly this

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

Usually the men who’ve been the worst were gym staff. Which is a special kind of creepy.

But I’ve found it much less likely to happen in this country than in the states. As in, close to never. One of the few things I prefer over here! People are less likely to talk to strangers in general, and while I’m all for friendliness, when I’m in a gym I’m not there to make friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gym 5 days out of 7. Never seen anything toxic or crude at all. Just be respectful to all people, it’s impossible not to look at people with mirrors everywhere and generally lots of people about. Just don’t stare. I think if you have an ounce of common sense and are able to conduct yourself properly in social situations you have nothing to worry about.

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

"I’ve stopped going to gyms now as there’s too many cases of toxic behaviour, people recording their work outs or just being overly aggressive.

I went to work out and improve my health, not to have to keep dodging phones, aggressive idiots and “gymfluencers”

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I gym 5 days out of 7. Never seen anything toxic or crude at all. Just be respectful to all people, it’s impossible not to look at people with mirrors everywhere and generally lots of people about. Just don’t stare. I think if you have an ounce of common sense and are able to conduct yourself properly in social situations you have nothing to worry about.

"
This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the “meatheads” are good guys at my gym!

You get one or two idiots - stop dropping the weights and walking around like you’re a totally pumped badass! lol

And as for looking at a lady with a nice bum! - It’s a little difficult not to sneak a peek in the mirror!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually the men who’ve been the worst were gym staff. Which is a special kind of creepy.

*nods*

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

I have no interest in gyms..I have exercise equipment at home...I can imagine like anywhere you get decent types and arseholes... such is life..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No in my experience, it's the toxic attention craving women that are the problem.

Do you think it might create a sort of - boy who cried wolf - problem? "

Please elaborate

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By *hePerkyPumpkin OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"No in my experience, it's the toxic attention craving women that are the problem.

Do you think it might create a sort of - boy who cried wolf - problem?

Please elaborate"

People might be much more dismissive of claims of "creeping" if everyone is doing it all the time.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't find this and notice the amazing levels of support for anyone else who wants to make changes to their health and fitness. I see less staring in gyms than I do in the wider world.

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By *rC99Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

The gym i go you get the odd few men (seperately) blatantly staring at some of the women or the odd gobshite letting everyone know he's there.

The majority of people are friendly though and just concentrate on their own thing

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

The best idea is to get off the Internet with all it's mental fuck trumpets and just go to the gym... Most people either leave eachother alone or are pretty helpful

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"This is a new one to me.

I don't go to regular gyms (I go to climbing gyms where everyone is nice) so this is a problem that passes me by.

But is it really as bad as people are making out?

Are guys always creeping on women or are women looking for any excuse to call creep on a guy?

Much of what I've seen so far looks perfectly innocent to me...

But I'm not a woman and I don't have to deal with stuff like that in my life.

What're your thoughts? "

My experience is that people generally just get on and train, not a huge amount of socialising at all.

Cal

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

My experience is similar to others. I go to the gym quite a lot and I've never actually witnessed any toxic behaviour. Annoying and entitled behaviour (like not putting weights back) but not the kind of stuff you're talking about, OP. Not saying it doesn't happen, obviously, but not something I've seen.

I know it's a worry for some people - especially women - but I'd say don't let it put you off. And if it's a real barrier, find someone to work out with. But don't let it stop you going!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most gyms are fine. There are certain times of day when there’s large groups and they can be a little annoying (I find that the worst behaviour is usually from groups training together).

But generally it’s fine and everyone keeps to themselves.

I won’t lie though - There are a few odd balls. Usually men by themselves who seem to be there just to chat with strangers. They don’t target women though - usually other blokes

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By *eathersex69Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I do look sometimes but only ever discreetly. The gym I go to has a great crowd and people are friendly. It's not cool to gawp and stare. Mind you Perky...my mouth is watering at the thought of you in the gym!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s probably more that the annoying gym goers stand out a lot more than the people who go in, get it done and go home.

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By *-HantsguyMan
over a year ago

Sunbury

I’m a skinny guy trying not to be skinny anymore, have found that late night at my 24/7 gym is best time to go. Haven’t seen any toxic behaviour but I still feel crap when there’s other people there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen the odd male having a sneaky look at some females but most get on with their workout without any issues & keep themselves to themselves!

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