FabSwingers.com forum: Dirty Jokes, Sex Jokes, Rude Jokes...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don’t make me come in there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can you tell when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This YouTube channel is full off then injoy

https://m.youtube.com/@Bebahan select shorts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do women have orgasms?

Just another reason to moan, really.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

A glad-he-ate-her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do men like smart women?

Opposites attract.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

What do you call a selfish man with a purple knob?

A tight fisted wanker

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

An english professor wrote up on the board “woman without her man is nothing” and told his students to punctuate it.

The males in the class wrote “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The Females wrote “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you call a selfish man with a purple knob?

A tight fisted wanker "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How can you tell when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My wife accused me of being a cross dresser the other day...

So i packed her things and left

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

What’s the difference between me/you and a mosquito?

A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call a team of female transvestites?

Ex-men!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a lot of respect for trans women,

that surgery takes balls!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What’s a lesbian’s favorite ballet?

The Nutcracker.

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By *olmaMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Did you hear the one about the woman with 3 vaginas??

She got fucked left, right and centre

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call a gay man with diarrhea?

JuicyFruit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you hear the one about the woman with 3 vaginas??

She got fucked left, right and centre "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What’s the difference between me/you and a mosquito?

A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?

About 3 years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

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By *ardhatCharlieMan
over a year ago

Northwest

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is using a feather in the bedroom.

Perverted is using the whole chicken.....

Whats the difference between an egg and a wank....

You can beat an egg.....

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Q: Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

A: Cos Ken always comes in a box!

Sorry!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is using a feather in the bedroom.

Perverted is using the whole chicken.....

Whats the difference between an egg and a wank....

You can beat an egg....."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Q: Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

A: Cos Ken always comes in a box!

Sorry!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

"How can you tell when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers."
And if she is a tight bitch ! He only has one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How can you tell when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.And if she is a tight bitch ! He only has one. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did one butt cheek say to the other? "Together, we can stop this crap."

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?"

The flash

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

The flash"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Silence is Golden

Paddy was out driving with the wife..After speeding down a long stretch of road he noticed the flashing lights of a police car behind him and pulled over..

“Can I help you officer”? he said

“Do you realize that your wife fell out of the car about a mile back” says the officer!

“Holy Fuck” says Paddy “That’s great...I thought I had gone deaf”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Religion

I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!

I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”

I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”

The Hindu sadhu came and said "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."

I said "Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs"

The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”

I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.

After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my bicycle had been st ol en.

*I BELIEVE IN ALL RELIGIONS NOW...*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news.

The good news is that you are going to be OK.

The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied.

"Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

" Not exactly answered the doctor.........

"She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye.

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By *ardhatCharlieMan
over a year ago

Northwest

"A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news.

The good news is that you are going to be OK.

The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied.

"Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

" Not exactly answered the doctor.........

"She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

BAHAHAHAHAHA

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By *adbod2godbodMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck in the chicken

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

What the definition of being selfish?

Wearing a ribbed condom, inside out.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

Whoever said "laughter is the best medicine" clearly never suffered from erectile dysfunction.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

The England women's national football team have made it to the final!

As I watched their faces during the post-match interview I thought..."I'm not even going to make it to a semi..."

(It's OK, everybody's asleep. Ssshhhhhhh. I'll get away with that one...)

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By *cotty_01ukMan
over a year ago

birmingham

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

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