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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t " ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Ypu can show appreciation by buying things. Or you can replace emotions with gifts. But being thoughtful shows you care. So a gift that she always wanted or didn't know she wanted is way better than an expensive gift bought at an airport." Yes, that is right, you can also show appreciation by giving a gift now and again too ![]() | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t ![]() ![]() Thank you ![]() | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t ![]() ![]() ![]() I understand you feel that way, but perhaps not forever ![]() | |||
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"As Meli said, perhaps it works if both partners' love language is gifts. I've been bought large expensive gifts (a car, for example) and because they weren't bought for me WITH love, they were both meaningless and weighted with his expectations. " Yes, I think it's about why it's bought. I've had some very expensive gifts over the years - some have meant a lot, others less so because they're not really about me. Or something I would ever remotely like. Conversely, if someone takes the time to buy something they know I'll really appreciate, heck, even make it, regardless of how much it's cost, I appreciate it far more. It means something doesn't it? Like the person knows you and wants you to be happy. | |||
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"As Meli said, perhaps it works if both partners' love language is gifts. I've been bought large expensive gifts (a car, for example) and because they weren't bought for me WITH love, they were both meaningless and weighted with his expectations. Yes, I think it's about why it's bought. I've had some very expensive gifts over the years - some have meant a lot, others less so because they're not really about me. Or something I would ever remotely like. Conversely, if someone takes the time to buy something they know I'll really appreciate, heck, even make it, regardless of how much it's cost, I appreciate it far more. It means something doesn't it? Like the person knows you and wants you to be happy." Often the best gifts cost very little. My most treasured possessions are hand made or carefully selected gifts. The gift of your time & skills to make or carefully choose something is worth far more than money. | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t " What awful life-altering abuse you've suffered. I wanted to say I have two friends with the same experience, down to being told these *exact* phrases to destroy their self-esteem, which sadly worked, with long-lasting effects. It's when you know these things are not true, they're straight out of the manipulation handbook. You moved on, have faith in yourself. | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t " Yes, you are right there and no you cant do that and as you say there, it can be painful as well. | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t What awful life-altering abuse you've suffered. I wanted to say I have two friends with the same experience, down to being told these *exact* phrases to destroy their self-esteem, which sadly worked, with long-lasting effects. It's when you know these things are not true, they're straight out of the manipulation handbook. You moved on, have faith in yourself." Thank you so much yes it has had life altering effects I am scared to let anyone in at all as I have peace’s back a little off my hart and don’t think it could take being broken again so choosen to stay single | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t Yes, you are right there and no you cant do that and as you say there, it can be painful as well." Yes it can be | |||
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"It can buy love or a part of what adds up to it. It depends how one defines ‘love’. It can lift a partner from a situation of financial uncertainty, giving them the relief of unburdened living and choices, which in turn evokes a sense of love or being loved. It’s probably more akin to gratitude but that can be a part of love, as long as there are other factors in the relationship that make up to a whole that is love. For the one buying the gifts, they’re not necessarily thinking that they’re buying their partner’s love. It could be more a sense of enjoying their partner’s joy because wanting to see your partner happy is a part of love. Miles" I agree, you can't "buy love" but we are physical creatures with physical needs, and looking after someone has a big element of throwing resources at them. For example "quality time" that was mentioned earlier as being the relationship builder: the more time you spend with someone the more resources you will need, suitable place (shelter), food&drink, transportation, and of course leisure time which is not material but is one of the biggest commodities. So by affording these expenses for ourselves and even covering them for others we facilitate this time together, and stand a chance of cultivating companionship & love. | |||
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"It can buy love or a part of what adds up to it. It depends how one defines ‘love’. It can lift a partner from a situation of financial uncertainty, giving them the relief of unburdened living and choices, which in turn evokes a sense of love or being loved. It’s probably more akin to gratitude but that can be a part of love, as long as there are other factors in the relationship that make up to a whole that is love. For the one buying the gifts, they’re not necessarily thinking that they’re buying their partner’s love. It could be more a sense of enjoying their partner’s joy because wanting to see your partner happy is a part of love. Miles I agree, you can't "buy love" but we are physical creatures with physical needs, and looking after someone has a big element of throwing resources at them. For example "quality time" that was mentioned earlier as being the relationship builder: the more time you spend with someone the more resources you will need, suitable place (shelter), food&drink, transportation, and of course leisure time which is not material but is one of the biggest commodities. So by affording these expenses for ourselves and even covering them for others we facilitate this time together, and stand a chance of cultivating companionship & love." Very well put. Whilst it’s possible to provide all of that without money, shelter is a base instinct in our being and if a partner feels sheltered by the other, even if it’s through financial resources, it can evoke that sense of being loved and in turn, love for the other. It may not be an instant emotion but it can come in time. Money does ‘buy’ love. It isn’t only the physical gifts that money can provide. Perhaps not instant love but love, whether in due course or love ‘at first sight’ is still love. Whether the love lasts is another matter and can be due to other factors falling apart first. Miles | |||
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much. I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me". I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things. What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar? I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it ![]() There are loads of women like that, WAG's spring to mind | |||
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"When did love language become such a thing? " I'm not sure who came up with it, but I am kind of glad it's out now. I thought it was all bullshit to begin with but it makes sense and makes it easier to understand why some people just aren't compatible... | |||
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"You can't buy love, no. But for some of us who's "Love Language" includes gifts, it definitely improves the relationship for me. ![]() ![]() generosity is ok i think but buying expensive gifts isn't love ![]() | |||
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" My friend just got married. He came to Dubai specifically to find a wife and met & married within one month. They are so in love it’s contagious and recently got matching tattoos but unlikely she would have even dated him if he didn’t buy her gifts and spoil her." Forgive my skepticism, but this doesn't sound like any love I know about. | |||
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"You can't buy love, no. But for some of us whose "Love Language" includes gifts, it definitely improves the relationship for me. ![]() ![]() this for me too! ![]() | |||
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"When did love language become such a thing? " It’s a book by Gary Chapman The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate | |||
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"It depends what you mean by love really. I think you can buy it and many people do. " Love is an intense feeling of deep affection, I,m sure true love doesn't involve any purchase of anything or at least what I feel should be love. Maybe it does with tainted love. | |||
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"Only materialistic people’s love can be bought. But they don’t love you they love your money. They love the things they can have, find one rich enough and you’ll be lavished with gifts to make him feel less guilty for fucking anything with a pulse. The mr " Yes, you are right there as well, only their love can be bought too ![]() | |||
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"It depends what you mean by love really. I think you can buy it and many people do. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection, I,m sure true love doesn't involve any purchase of anything or at least what I feel should be love. Maybe it does with tainted love. " I think there are many ways to love a person. If it's tainted it's not really love is it? Does loving someone need to be unconditional or it's worthless? | |||
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"All love is conditional as an adult, so you can buy it. People seem to think otherwise when in reality there is always some form of condition, whether it is personality, aura, speech, body, face, nurturing, protection or caring. There is only one difference, the currency does not have to be money, but money is a form of very concentrated resources and freedom. One downside is if both parties build themselves solely through money and gifts, if there is a great deal of power dynamic. It shouldn't be a problem of taking taking taking if you have other valuable qualities or skills to balance the power dynamic." Love is a complicated concept. We've been long conditioned to see it as romantic, everlasting and unconditional. | |||
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"Some peoples love language is buying things for their partner " Yes, you are right there too about the love language ![]() | |||
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"No. You can try. And some people will take advantage of that. But if its a solution to a problem then it's just papering over the cracks and likely to get you nowhere. It also creates a level of expectation that sometimes can't be maintained. Some people look at things that can be bought as a means to either butter someone up, or as a mechanism for maintaining happiness. You're far better off forgetting about material things and focusing on eachother and spending quality time together. A" Yes, you are right there and some could take advantage of that, it could be hard to maintain that level as you have to keep have give things ![]() | |||
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"Money can't buy real love." I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x | |||
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"Money can't buy real love. I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x" You've just answered dilemma "conditional" obsessed by desire for materialistic things whereas love is unconditional and requires no gimmicks, etc... But u already know this... Lust / Love | |||
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"Money can't buy real love. I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x You've just answered dilemma "conditional" obsessed by desire for materialistic things whereas love is unconditional and requires no gimmicks, etc... But u already know this... Lust / Love" I would say there is always a condition might not be money, it could be hygiene, spending habits, raising kids, food [veggie], sleeping habit these are all little daily conditions. The importance of money in society can be seen in many different ways, not just in material terms. It may also be in the form of comfort, care, health and so forth. | |||
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much. I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me". I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things. What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar? I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it ![]() Actually ive bought a few things with love. Love from me to me. Importance is to love yourself first. | |||
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much. I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me". I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things. What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar? I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it ![]() Some go down that route of financial security..reward ..gifts ..some guys think it's the only way to express their love for women ..and some women want that financial freedom..it's just the way it is . | |||
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"Short answer is no you can’t The long answer is painful Been there I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me And I take her back because I love her So the answer is no you can’t " Oh Natalie... that's an awful way to be treated you deserve so much better xx | |||
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"You can't buy love ![]() You can only rent it | |||
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"Shag ...... what is love to you is not necessarily the kind of love a Gucci worshiping woman wants. If getting a Gucci is love to her then it's love. " Yes, you are right there too, that love means different things to everyone as well ![]() | |||
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"I think my cat loves me, he doesn't he's a cat but if I think it's love then it is...isn't it? It's conditional on me buying him stuff though, if I stopped buying him food he'd soon leave and love someone else" Hi. True mine dribbles and nudges me to tell me she loves me. If only for me to feed her. | |||
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"Buying a Gucci watch us easy if you have the money. What shows love are the presents that are really geared to the person they are for and show thought, imagination and understanding of what they like. For example I took Hannah to lunch at a place I wouldn't tell her what it was beforehand. As we sat eating at a bog-standard café in south London, she was baffled. But she is a massive A-ha fan. I showed her the video for Take On Me and she realised she was sitting in the café where it was filmed. She loved it! That sort of thing is more special than buying a Gucci watch. " You did that because you love her not to try to make her love you. I'm sure she'd love you even if you hadn't done it ![]() | |||
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much. I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me". I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things. What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar? I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it ![]() Hi op I was bought an engagement ring £1k ring. That ring I chose. He loved me. He was not rich but was rich in love. I work in a charity shop. We get top branded stuff donated. People love the charity enough to donate. I love myself, I buy things for me even a gucci bag if one lands in charity shop. | |||
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"I think creating romantic situations is far better than that fancy bag or trinket. Maybe a walk somewhere or a home cooked meal (yes I know, the ingredients but it's the thought and before/after that counts)." Yes, you are right there, romantic situations are better as well ![]() | |||
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"Money can't buy real love. I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x You've just answered dilemma "conditional" obsessed by desire for materialistic things whereas love is unconditional and requires no gimmicks, etc... But u already know this... Lust / Love I would say there is always a condition might not be money, it could be hygiene, spending habits, raising kids, food [veggie], sleeping habit these are all little daily conditions. The importance of money in society can be seen in many different ways, not just in material terms. It may also be in the form of comfort, care, health and so forth." Break away from attachment and then it becomes pure. Not at all easy to do. | |||
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much. I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me". I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things. What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar? I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it ![]() Hi becs, that is good and it is good to be rich in love too ![]() | |||
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