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"I'd say an instant spark, (or not) of varying degrees. But very very occasionally grows really strongly with one or two people. I usually know after a few messages if that person is going to intrigue me. " I think I’m the opposite - mostly it’s a slow burn as people demonstrate they’re worth knowing. Occasionally it’s like a lightning bolt, but that hardly ever happens. How about you, Meli? How many on your train would get it, no question? | |||
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"So let's do it like we see on the Discovery channel! Oh, wait, this is something else..." It came up on a playlist. I regret nothing. :D | |||
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"I'd say an instant spark, (or not) of varying degrees. But very very occasionally grows really strongly with one or two people. I usually know after a few messages if that person is going to intrigue me. " Ah! Do you find it's something you can only have one or two people at a time? That strong growth of spark. Yes, a few messages is normally enough to see if there's something there isn't it? I don't always know if it will be platonic or not but there's something about a person that quickly becomes evident. | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here?" Maybe it's a man thing (or maybe it's just me) but I find myself sexually attracted to 'almost' anyone who wants to have sex with me. That's not to say that I don't have preferences etc. | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here? Maybe it's a man thing (or maybe it's just me) but I find myself sexually attracted to 'almost' anyone who wants to have sex with me. That's not to say that I don't have preferences etc. " It is a you thing and a man thing, but it's not an every man thing. | |||
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"Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you?" Yes, it's an instant thing when I am instantly attracted to that person complemented with an inexplicable sexual tension. Sorry, that came across as brusque but it really is as simple as that...for me. "...do you find it grows over time?" This also, when it's not so obvious or just latent, and slowly simmering over time through either subsequent chats or platonic meets. | |||
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"Sexual attraction is usually an instant thing. I can tell within minutes of meeting someone whether I want to sex them up. It’s love that is the slow burner for me." Ah love that's instant isn't something I really believe in. Or trust. Minutes of meeting? Erm... yep. I get it. Then you have to try and not look like you want to jump their bones. Repeatedly. | |||
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"So let's do it like we see on the Discovery channel! Oh, wait, this is something else..." But some of us are cannibals who count other people open like cantaloupes. Oh wait, that’s something else again isn’t it | |||
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"I'd say an instant spark, (or not) of varying degrees. But very very occasionally grows really strongly with one or two people. I usually know after a few messages if that person is going to intrigue me. I think I’m the opposite - mostly it’s a slow burn as people demonstrate they’re worth knowing. Occasionally it’s like a lightning bolt, but that hardly ever happens. How about you, Meli? How many on your train would get it, no question? " Ha! That would be zero. I think I'm like you, it normally is very much a slow burn. And then sometimes it's just... yes. Very much yes please. I can tell if someone is my sort of person (the arrogance) within a couple of messages but it's very rare I feel instant lust on meeting someone. | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here?" I have a problem with that many women I see and is more apreciation of the beautiful creation that a woman at timrs a lust admiration .but its rare that I would have sex with someone just based on pure lust don't get me wrong it has happen .but take you op for instance a beautiful intelligent sexully experienced woman .very attractive to me for the way you look but its the conbiation of what comes from your mind that makes you more attractive .but dont know you in person I'm sure I'm too old for you anyways .but sexual chemistry a fair thing oposit can attract it can be instant or it can build up over time as you say depending on the people involved. But great thought provoke thread Ofcourse your a joy to behold So win win for whoever connect with you . | |||
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"I've had the instant sexual attraction thing many times, sometimes it's just a hello and you know the feeling is mutual. But it's nothing special, and doesn't do much for me. It's a quick fleeting thought and I'm not into that. I really value connection and it isn't easy to come by. I much prefer the feeling and experiences that come with getting to know someone. I'm currently kind of obsessed with a man I had very little interest in when I first saw him, but as we have got to know each other and spent time together it has left me with such a delicious ache. And I love all the feelings and sexual tension that comes with the time spent of getting to know someone. I think it’s much more satisfying that way. " That's great to hear lemon lucky man | |||
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"Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Yes, it's an instant thing when I am instantly attracted to that person complemented with an inexplicable sexual tension. Sorry, that came across as brusque but it really is as simple as that...for me. ...do you find it grows over time? This also, when it's not so obvious or just latent, and slowly simmering over time through either subsequent chats or platonic meets." I would agree with this. It can be either. It can grow or fade over time. | |||
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"It's definitely an instant thing for me, none of this "they become more attractive if they're a nice person" malarkey...I either find someone physically attractive, or I don't. I've never changed my mind about finding someone sexually attractive because of their behaviour, they're just a person that I like but don't want to have sex with. Or, conversely, someone that I don't like but they give me fanny flutters (hate fucks can be thrilling!) " Hello waves | |||
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"Popping by just for you Meli. I am a slow burn most of the time. So slow that I am more tortoise than hare. It is all about the brain stimulation. Although on one occasion I met a work colleague, who I had spoken to many times on the phone, his accent used to grate on me. I walked into the office, greeting another colleague with a hug and a kiss. As this voice said "Don't I get a hug too?" It is one of the very rare times in life I would have happily dropped to my knees. With ear plugs of course. I honestly think now though that the fire has burnt itself out. I am the dying embers, mostly grey with a little halo of orange. " Oh Lois. It's really good to read you again. You just need someone to well and truly reignite those flames. I think they exist, x | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here?" All Brain matter. Alot goes on really in that head of ours. From Biased infos from childhood. To Emotions high and low Daily! Many admit they dont knw the very choice they mad! Yet many claim its a "type " but how do we arrive at that point in any given situation?? Esp choices of attractiin,seeking out sexual partners? Survival,mateing etc etc. | |||
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"Im not sure i know anymore i know i have phwoooaaaar moments but it dont make me want to tear off there clothes as often must be getting old unles iv truly managed a full humanity disconect at long last" See, I thought my phwooooar button was a bit broken. Don't get me wrong, I want to fuck people but it's normally a thing that wanes and grows over time depending on the connection I have with them. And I've now experienced a full phwoar moment. So, maybe it's out there for you. Your penis might even spring to life in anticipation. | |||
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"I'd say an instant spark, (or not) of varying degrees. But very very occasionally grows really strongly with one or two people. I usually know after a few messages if that person is going to intrigue me. " whats a message? A written part of some brief words,a minute window portal. | |||
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"I find it's like Fungus, it grows over time " Fungus does not just grow. What does it require to grow? Even us as people,human. | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here?" Your other post about 1week ago. You say could it all not be had!! | |||
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"I'd say an instant spark, (or not) of varying degrees. But very very occasionally grows really strongly with one or two people. I usually know after a few messages if that person is going to intrigue me. I think I’m the opposite - mostly it’s a slow burn as people demonstrate they’re worth knowing. Occasionally it’s like a lightning bolt, but that hardly ever happens. How about you, Meli? How many on your train would get it, no question? " What train is that? We all are on a train,or even train of thought. Many factors lay beneath the surface of how we do what we do,and how we arrive to it,or any given so called conclusion!! | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here? I have a problem with that many women I see and is more apreciation of the beautiful creation that a woman at timrs a lust admiration .but its rare that I would have sex with someone just based on pure lust don't get me wrong it has happen .but take you op for instance a beautiful intelligent sexully experienced woman .very attractive to me for the way you look but its the conbiation of what comes from your mind that makes you more attractive .but dont know you in person I'm sure I'm too old for you anyways .but sexual chemistry a fair thing oposit can attract it can be instant or it can build up over time as you say depending on the people involved. But great thought provoke thread Ofcourse your a joy to behold So win win for whoever connect with you ." That makes sense. Sometimes you have that immediate lust and act on it. Lots of people do, don't they? Well on Fab anyway. The amount of times people have told me they've had sex with someone on first meeting them. And that's absolutely fine if someone wants to do that. More power to them if it works. I think I'm far more comfortable and likely to lean into secondary attachment - sometimes I think that makes me a bit weird on a site like this but I'm happy doing things my way. And thank you, that's very sweet. I'm not sure it is always a win win but I'm going to enjoy it as much as possible. | |||
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"Ohh god there’s so much more to sexual attraction, yes the body and looks have to be what you look for But confidence,intelligence, humour all have to be in the right place ! " Yes, and all the remainder can only be ever seen,viewed by being in the present in the flesh then even then! All depends on the people involved their actions come from the given state of mind! Words used,body language. Toneality and more. Micro movements. | |||
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"I dunno, Meli. Some are reptiles too!" They have you believe so,to keep the mind distracted! Info is good and bad,depends what one feeds themself on. | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here? Maybe it's a man thing (or maybe it's just me) but I find myself sexually attracted to 'almost' anyone who wants to have sex with me. That's not to say that I don't have preferences etc. " Well pointed and stated! An honest point,never read in here to date. | |||
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"I love this thread. It's instant or nothing for me." But how do you make that desicion ,based on what factors?? | |||
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"Popping by just for you Meli. I am a slow burn most of the time. So slow that I am more tortoise than hare. It is all about the brain stimulation. Although on one occasion I met a work colleague, who I had spoken to many times on the phone, his accent used to grate on me. I walked into the office, greeting another colleague with a hug and a kiss. As this voice said "Don't I get a hug too?" It is one of the very rare times in life I would have happily dropped to my knees. With ear plugs of course. I honestly think now though that the fire has burnt itself out. I am the dying embers, mostly grey with a little halo of orange. " "With ear plugs" | |||
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"I've been idly musing on the train today about sexual attraction. How, with some people, it's an instant thing. Others you find it grows over time. The varying strengths of lust for another. Is sexual attraction an instant thing for you? Or do you find it grows over time? Do you easily find that with people on here? Or more, easily find people that sparks that lustful side of you, on here? I have a problem with that many women I see and is more apreciation of the beautiful creation that a woman at timrs a lust admiration .but its rare that I would have sex with someone just based on pure lust don't get me wrong it has happen .but take you op for instance a beautiful intelligent sexully experienced woman .very attractive to me for the way you look but its the conbiation of what comes from your mind that makes you more attractive .but dont know you in person I'm sure I'm too old for you anyways .but sexual chemistry a fair thing oposit can attract it can be instant or it can build up over time as you say depending on the people involved. But great thought provoke thread Ofcourse your a joy to behold So win win for whoever connect with you ." | |||
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"Depends on the person. Some people I've met and immediately thought "Yeah, I'd love to stuff my cock down your throat ASAP." And then others it's a slow burn of "I like you as a person, but not sure about sexually" (usually because I'm not sure if it's reciprocal), and then the more banter and flirting there is, the more it gets to "okay so just checking, can I really bang you like storm shutters in a hurricane or were you just joking again?". Hope that helps LvM" Ha! It does, thanks BBC. It's more a general musing thread with no wrong or right answers. Just how people feel. Everyone needs that flirting, that interest in them as a person to continue fanning the flames of desire. It's interesting how desire shows up for different people. | |||
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"The way I see it, there is visual attraction which is usually instant. Then there are people who I don't find visually attractive to begin with, but the more I get to know them, the more I get sexually attracted to them. This obviously takes time to build up." Tractiin,time spent in the present face to face takeing all facts etc. You can not get that online,via a mere type,or text,many do not want to vocally speak. Nor meet. | |||
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"I've had the instant sexual attraction thing many times, sometimes it's just a hello and you know the feeling is mutual. But it's nothing special, and doesn't do much for me. It's a quick fleeting thought and I'm not into that. I really value connection and it isn't easy to come by. I much prefer the feeling and experiences that come with getting to know someone. I'm currently kind of obsessed with a man I had very little interest in when I first saw him, but as we have got to know each other and spent time together it has left me with such a delicious ache. And I love all the feelings and sexual tension that comes with the time spent of getting to know someone. I think it’s much more satisfying that way. " Oh Lemmy this is lovely! I hope those feelings and sexual tension continues to grow in the best of ways. It's not really about me but yes, that's how I see it as well. It's a good thing to lean in to. | |||
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"It's definitely an instant thing for me, none of this "they become more attractive if they're a nice person" malarkey...I either find someone physically attractive, or I don't. I've never changed my mind about finding someone sexually attractive because of their behaviour, they're just a person that I like but don't want to have sex with. Or, conversely, someone that I don't like but they give me fanny flutters (hate fucks can be thrilling!) " | |||
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