FabSwingers.com forum: Keeping it to forums…

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums?

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Not yet...

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

[Removed by poster at 09/08/23 11:43:27]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do love the "keep it the forums please guys" comments

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

Yup sure has

Although there have been an awful lot more cases where it's been negative

Em x

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’ve had mainly positive reactions to side bar meetings to use a bit of corporate speak.

Although it’s nearly always with people I have already chatted with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has! I've spoken to so many and met a few just off the back of them starting conversations because of a forum thread.

I get why it's a pain for women which is why I rarely stray from them to message them, but for guys it can be amazing to chat to people in a certain topic or get to know them that we can't do just firing off cold messages to local profiles

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "

I've got new friends

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Only the occasional nice message.

I once had a lovely message via the forums from a chap who responded to a post I had made and it was helpful, supportive and just lovely. Not sexual, not trying to get anything out of the conversation for himself just passing on some helpful advice.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"I do love the "keep it in your trousers please guys" comments

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Not really from unsolicited messages which belonged on the forums. We have ended up talking to people off the back of forum conversations and we've ended up in bed with one of those people.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

Can someone explain this ? I understand the words ok but the reply privately button is there for a reason and I like it , a lot. Both ways.

So I’m lost ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love the "keep it the forums please guys" comments

I have to admit, I get a chuckle from those as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t mind too much as long as it isn’t creepy but I don’t understand people who start a thread and then reply privately to people. Surely you start a thread for engagement and discussion.

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By *londebiguyMan
over a year ago

Southport

What I find odd is people commenting in the forums but have hidden their profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I find odd is people commenting in the forums but have hidden their profiles."

What’s wrong with that?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What I find odd is people commenting in the forums but have hidden their profiles."

Why is that odd ?

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

"Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before "

This! It’s why I don’t post half of what I want to

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "
of course it has people message all the time quoting the thread comments, so yes is the answer

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yep.

Apart from the lovely messages of support and people checking in which means a lot.

Anyway - I wrote a rather raunchy thread about a certain thing that occurs during sex. It soon filled up but there was one poster who was being rather pedantic. Irritatingly so. I enjoyed it though, that mental tussle. I normally hate people messaging off the back of those types of threads because I've said what I've said and nope, don't want to do it with you.

I was the person who messaged him.

That annoying person.

He's still a friend months later.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Yes, several times in fact.

I've had women message me either through a thread that I've created or a post that I've made. Some were participants in the thread and others were lurkers who hadn't taken the plunge to debate openly in the forå.

Everything engagement through this method has been a positive one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the most part yes also I normally do even if I am charming someone I don’t mind doing it in the public eye as it’s not anything dirty or bad or anything so don’t really mind it being seen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the most part yes also I normally do even if I am charming someone I don’t mind doing it in the public eye as it’s not anything dirty or bad or anything so don’t really mind it being seen "

Also understand that some matters keep private I don’t mind a regular formite messageing me

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'll start conversations off a thread, but rarely one I haven't engaged in. I respect it if the message isn't answered and I hope it's not in a creepy way.

I value the conversations. When my filters allowed it, though, there was a clear difference between "I'm starting a conversation from this forum thread" and "mmm babe u into (insert kink here) I gonna meet you".

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I've had some very postives experiences through not keeping it on the forums. Either me replying to a comment or them messaging me

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

They key is context and intent of the message. If its to say something that could easily have been said on the forum and specific thread, that's one thing.

But if its to share a specific experience or offer a form of support, or to not fully derail a thread it's fine. Of course it's not always going to be welcome with everyone.

It is not always going to be a way to slide in to DMs. I'm not ashamed to say I've done it (and had it done to me). The times I have done it have always been positive both in my message and the reply. Some even leading to consistent messaging or a meet.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before "

This I think is the worst. One thing to be just a lurker. But not previously being part of the thread to then slip in to private messages is something else.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Y’know what I get sometimes that I just think is a bit off?

Messages from single male accounts replying to something I’ve said in a forum thread and sending me photos of ‘their wife’.

Say there’s a thread about tits. And I post something saying how much I do indeed like tits. And then some random bloke sends me a message saying ‘My wife has massive tits here’s five photos of them’.

I don’t get it. Why would you do that? I didn’t ask for them. And your wife - if she is your wife - hasn’t consented to you sharing her tits with strangers, has she? On your single male account on this swingers website …

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Y’know what I get sometimes that I just think is a bit off?

Messages from single male accounts replying to something I’ve said in a forum thread and sending me photos of ‘their wife’.

Noted! Don't send Rose any tits!

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

No, not yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before

This! It’s why I don’t post half of what I want to "

#metoo say it in the thread or not all. But I don’t mind the winks I get from regular forumites if I’ve quoted them, giving me a chance to take it further if I wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Y’know what I get sometimes that I just think is a bit off?

Messages from single male accounts replying to something I’ve said in a forum thread and sending me photos of ‘their wife’.

Bit of a long winded way of saying you wants tits in your inbox but ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"…

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "

Yes.

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "

Only if it was invited or they approached in a way they would do if they just saw me on a search!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

Can someone explain this ? I understand the words ok but the reply privately button is there for a reason and I like it , a lot. Both ways.

So I’m lost ?

I agree with you on this, apart from the creepy ones.

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By *he_Wite_NiteMan
over a year ago

Usually Dundee and around

As with all messages and messages there are some that are appropriate, polite and you don't mind getting and others where the delete button can't be clicked quick enough.

I have messaged directly, but usually after contributing to the chat.

And I have some good connections from approaches (in both directions) from forum direct replies.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

Can someone explain this ? I understand the words ok but the reply privately button is there for a reason and I like it , a lot. Both ways.

So I’m lost ?

Personally I wish there wasn't a reply privately button...

99% of messages I get from people who have used that button are the forum equivalent of FAF...

For example... Let's say I post on a thread about... Anal play, I'll get 2 or 3 messages along the lines of:

"Oh I like anal play too, i'll do anal with you"

I can guarantee you that none of them will have referenced (or god forbid) linked to a forum post so I know what the hell they are talking about.

One in a hundred times I might get something like...

"I want to try anal play but I'm scared it will make me gay"

Now honestly, my reaction to this is twofold. I'm aware it's often a genuine question and concern... I'm also aware my rant about patriarchy, toxic masculinity and the sexual repression of men is probably not actually that helpful in that moment.

Here I'm likely to go with

"If you're thinking that others might feel the same. The simple answer is no it doesn't make you gay... But if you ask on the forum then myself and others could discuss that topic with you (and anyone else wondering the same thing).. the forum is a out sharing information, be that helpful sexy time hints, or what you had for dinner."

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "

Yep.

The majority of messages off the back of threads are just people unwilling to share an opinion or view publicly, or of course to tell you you're wrong.

But over the years they've led to some good chats, some social meets and indeed some fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t mind it on the whole.

It’s when people use it as a tool to be bitchy because they’ve not got the balls to make their comments in public that I find it somewhat pathetic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I've had some positive interactions. But most have been (when you boil down to it) FAF. And it's just creepy when they sliiiiide into your dms that way.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.

I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I have, and do, sometimes message people with comments or questions related to the thread, but which seem better suited to private conversation. Almost always though people that I've either previously talked with, or that have engaged with me across multiple threads. Occasionally people that are requesting private response due to the nature of the topic. I wouldn't be sending an unsolicited "hey babe faf?" - unless of course that was the specific topic of the thread!

Over the years I've made a few very good friends which started through side comments about forum threads...

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

No not yet lol

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.

I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it"

See? It’s not just me …

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I've not had it. Though plenty of dross gets through.

The forum makes it too easy to 'Reply Privately'.

It should be a user configured option, either for all posts, or set per topic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.

I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it"

You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't stand it when people that aren't on the thread send a private reply to me.

Forumites replying privately I don't mind at all.

But the lurkers creep me out and I'll post on the thread 'keep it on the thread' because the lurkers creep me out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been abused by Lurkers several times

it's brilliant, telling me much I will struggle etc etccc.

I leave them on read

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By *eartsmanMan
over a year ago

southeast , midlands, southern France

Following this thread with interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of people that have messaged me from the forums have ended up getting the pickle, yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve already gained some good friends, for me the forums here are by far the best thing about this site without any question

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

I've made some good friends from msgs from the forums, as has already been said msgs from lurkers are a bit annoying, but like any msgs on here I'll either reply or ignore so they don't bother me too much.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

A few I have messaged or been messaged by on the back of a thread. Now I can't get rid of them!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"A few I have messaged or been messaged by on the back of a thread. Now I can't get rid of them!"

sorry

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.

I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it

You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect

If you wanted tits in your inbox you only needed to have asked me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.

So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "

Nope. Many i encourage with safety in mind too., have a voice chat,see how the vibe goes. Then arrange a drink in sheer public!

Zero!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had a few good conversations off the back of a forum thread.

The rest I just ignore if I don’t want to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plenty of people that have messaged me from the forums have ended up getting the pickle, yes. "

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I have a couples profile with my fab bestie who I met as a direct result of her not keeping it to the forums.

I always laugh though on contentious threads when someone claims to have received lots of private support from those afraid to post openly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't stand it when people that aren't on the thread send a private reply to me.

Forumites replying privately I don't mind at all.

But the lurkers creep me out and I'll post on the thread 'keep it on the thread' because the lurkers creep me out."

Same here

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"I do love the "keep it the forums please guys" comments

I’m keeping it to the forum and saying wow great new profile pic

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I hardly ever get anything “out of the forums” but on the rare occasions I have been messaged then it has usually led to something.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.

Mrs

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

I feel like I have made some connections from people and friendly chat from messaging privately off threads. But if it states only forums I stay clear #imout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.

Mrs

The wife chat ones are the worst. Post a joke in there and you still get messages 18 months later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, we have met a couple a couple of times after they messaged us, having seen us comment on a forum post. Great fun and we still keep in touch off Fabs

Mrs Y

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.

Mrs

The wife chat ones are the worst. Post a joke in there and you still get messages 18 months later."

Haha I bet, I actually commented on one of those asking my usual awkward questions of "what do you actually talk about" I was supprised at some of the inboxes off the back of that one.

Mrs

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

There are "private question, public answer" threads that invite PM so that's good, the occasional one may pique interest. But yeah, unsolicited PMs off the back of a forum post is a no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.

Mrs

The wife chat ones are the worst. Post a joke in there and you still get messages 18 months later.

Haha I bet, I actually commented on one of those asking my usual awkward questions of "what do you actually talk about" I was supprised at some of the inboxes off the back of that one.

Mrs

Surprised must be the polite way to say it

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.

I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it

You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect

Queue 30 TOT threads next week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.

I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it

You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect

Queue 30 TOT threads next week

I’ve already got 6 ready to go on burner accounts.

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By *entlemanSavageMan
over a year ago

Coulston

I think as long as you're polite and stay on topic, then it's not such a bad thing, but there's always the exception.

I can imagine the amount of dross people can spout off into your inbox when it's unwarranted.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

Is a bit random when someone replies to your thread comment from days ago, and you've no idea what they're talking about or who they are!

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Ive used the reply privately button and have become friends through chatting to them off the forums.

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

Yup...it sure has...

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I'm now wondering how Dm's have been jumped in, on the back of this thread...

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

"I'm now wondering how Dm's have been jumped in, on the back of this thread..."

No mine

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By *ifeIsntSeriousMan
over a year ago

Rugby

I made several connections on my former profile by taking things off forum. And they were mainly very enjoyable

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Yep, made a few good conversations out of it. That's the point of the whole site, right?

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

No,on my single profile if I comment I usually only get blokes who don't post,being creepy.

We have occasionally had a couple contact us ,when we've posted on this profile.Sometimes that's the bloke wanting to start some kind of dirty chat too though.

I don't mind if someone messages a relevant comment though ,rather than just looking for cheap thrills .

Miss

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