FabSwingers.com forum: Does “vanilla” mean boring?

By *aith Skynbyrd OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?

Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

To some it is. To some it isn't

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

It's not a derogatory term, but you need a way to define things that aren't in the scene

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Vanilla ice cream is my favourite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is my favourite."

Lick me like a mr whippy

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By *rogalCouple
over a year ago

Falkirk

To us, vanilla is the base, the building block. In ice cream, you don't get raspberry ripple without vanilla. Same with swinging, you don't get swinging without the vanilla stuff involved, you just add the raspberry ripple bits

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's often used as a put down by people who feel that swinging or kink somehow makes them superior. It's useful shorthand for people who don't swing of get involved in kink too

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

"To us, vanilla is the base, the building block. In ice cream, you don't get raspberry ripple without vanilla. Same with swinging, you don't get swinging without the vanilla stuff involved, you just add the raspberry ripple bits

Wise.

"Why make 31 flavors when you can't get vanilla right?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
Brilliant analogy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll probably get someone being a smart arse but vanilla to me just means normal.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Not if you do it right.

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

It can be used as a put down but tbh we like vanilla. What's wrong with good 'normal' sex?

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

Is used in a derogatory way for sure. Silly really as these things are pretty subjective anyway.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?

Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.

No due to Maya ill health we only have a vinilla relationship now we do all kind of things together

I'm on my way to hers soon .I'll do the house work she can't do I'll give here rub down in the shower and towel dry her after and help her moisterise .we will laugh and joke talk shite might watch a bit of TV together have a nice meal and plan our next outing tomorrow .so no its not boreing .I'll get my kink with other women maya's fine with that does effect the quality time we share together.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

If you want a derogatory term for people not in the scene "Muggles" is probably right, "Vanilla" isn't bad at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen it used in a derogatory way quite often but....its the world's most popular flavour so theres hope for me yet lol

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By *ockRingFuckerMan
over a year ago

Hastings

It depends on what the individual would class as vanilla.

Vanilla to you maybe different to my vanilla and the next person.

I think the key thing to ask a person you might be interested in, is asking “what do you class as vanilla?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of all the weird crap I see on here I'll take vanilla thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, vanilla is great. My favourite. I try other flavours but vanilla is my favourite and my go to.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Good vanilla can be excellent but I do like variety.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Not in my book as I love vanilla.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of all the weird crap I see on here I'll take vanilla thanks. "

Half the weird crap I’ve seen on here has came from you after a bottle of wine

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Vanilla ice cream is my favourite.

Lick me like a mr whippy

Want a flake as well?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I use it as a opposite to kink description

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Vanilla isn't boring, someone else's kink is someone else's vanilla/boring.

It frustrates me when it's used as an insult, give me good vanilla sex anyday.

Mrs

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Nope. My best sex has been with vanilla folk.

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

Some people do use it to imply people are boring, just like other labels.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Vanilla is nice and cute

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

No, it's not boring. Far from it. I've had the most amazing encounters that were vanilla. I use my own self-coined term "enhanced vanilla" to describe myself and to disperse any misconceptions of vanilla.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps boring to some. I think - maybe more predictable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you started a thread and asked people to define vanilla - you'd have a massive range of opinions. I've had guys describe anal as kinky, for example. And you're on a swinger website where most people are interested in partner swapping and/or group sex. Neither of those things are vanilla, are they?

Enjoy your flavour

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Not everyone is keen to push the boundaries of sexual expression to more extreme lengths.

I would definitely describe myself as vanilla in this regards.

I absolutely respect others desire to experiment with flogging, pegging, rope play, orgies and any other LEGAL form of more ‘adventurous’ sexual exploration but it’s not really for me.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

"Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?

Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.

When we moved more in kink circles it seemed to be used by people desperate to convince themselves they were mad, bad and dangerous to know, despite most fetish events being as dull as dishwater. Nice people and cake, but generally zero sex. Normally an older man there (and always online)with a pony tail and leather waistcoat who was the self appointed BDSM police and normally especially keen to impart his wisdom to any young female newcomer. We moved to swinging because we found the people more outgoing and interesting and didn’t feel the need to other everyone else or see themselves as mad and bad, despite the general public being more likely to judge sharing your partner sexually more harshly than some handcuff and mild spanking play. Saying that, we still have affection for the kink scene as in a roundabout way it’s what brought us together many years ago, and who knows, one day we might find the crossover event that suits us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is my favourite."

2nd that,x3 scooops of BLue ribbon for me. Or Dollops!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it a put down? Or is it simply the opposite of kink?

Understanding of course that people’s definitions of “vanilla” and “kink” vary wildly.

The last kink event I went to, there was a demo by an older man with a ponytail and leather waistcoat! Of course, he was whipping a slender young wisp of a creature.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Its just a flavour it means sod all, its just something some people like to label a sex act, like sex is so much better here it isn't its the same

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

It's prehaps someone with very few kinks doesn't mean they don't like variety or adventures or naughty times.I think they aren't into the alternative stuff BDSM etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think it is boring op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vanilla ice cream is my favourite.

Lick me like a mr whippy

Want a flake as well?"

Yes please

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By *un Rugby playerMan
over a year ago

near hatfield

….. having no special or extra features; ordinary or standard.

So VA is the alternative to this .

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By *aith Skynbyrd OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

"Do you think it is boring op? "

Not at all. I think it’s the basis for any other kind of sex. But I have heard it used as a put down and was curious to know if that was a popular opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This...

When I was younger I wasn't experienced with kink nor was it important for me, as I got older and had more sex kink started to become more of a need in sexual relationships despite still not having any experience with it. I've never used the term boring towards anyone on the topic of vanilla sex in a derogatory way i.e. "oh you only like vanilla sex? Well that sounds boring". Eventually vanilla sex felt boring to me because it wasn't exciting enough. In retrospect it was because the people I was with simply weren't compatible, even if we both really wanted to have sex. I feel that it changed me in a negative way as I simply wasn't satisfied enough, turns out I was with the wrong people, we just weren't doing it right and/or weren't compatible.

Then when I did meet someone who was compatible for me, all we ever did was vanilla sex, and it was incredible! The absolute best sex I've ever had, and likely very very difficult to replicate if possible. I always felt satisfied afterwards and it became something I absolutely craved with this person. It really helped me a lot with my sexual preferences and perspectives, for the better. While I've always understood that vanilla sex is the bedrock for any sexual relationship (you can't simply piss on each other and call it sex), kink is no longer a need to be met in sexual relationships for me. I'm open to kink with the right person if it feels right and that's what we want with each other, but on the whole it's no longer something that dictates my sexual needs.

I feel that anyone who uses the term "boring" regarding vanilla sex in a derogatory way, deliberately or unknowingly, are either assholes not respecting another person's boundaries, or simply haven't had the right experiences and also unaware that their perspective is inappropriate to the person they're seeking sexual relations with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not if you do it right."

Was meant to quote this in my previous comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not with me it’s not

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

It’s definitely not to me. Not everyone likes Mint Choccy Chip though

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