FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Taking things slowly

Jump to newest
 

By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Such a cliche isn’t it? Something we tell our kids to do when they start dating.

Why do so many adults not get this & rush in saying & doing things, and then invariably backtracking and creating unnecessary hurt.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got a friend that does this. Meets a woman, moves in within a few weeks, gets engaged and then gets his heart broken. No matter what I say he repeats this cycle again and again.

I guess some people just fall hard.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture. I love taking it slow.

Dates, butterflies, building anticipation, leaving each other wanting more. I love the seduction of it all and I suppose courtship.

I also love being able to embrace those connections that make you need to rip each others clothes off because the chemistry is undeniable.

It's all about what feels right at the time.

Best of both worlds is the ideal I guess.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think so people are just drawn to this type of behaviour, I've a few friends that seem to do it everytime..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Instant gratification, they want it all and they want it right now.

I have a friend like this, can't be single, moved into with someone after meeting earlier this year, only broke up with the last guy just after Christmas.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

They’re hooked on that initial excitement and rush in all guns blazing.

Then the monotony of washing their partners undercrackers and the weekly shop set in and BOOM their eyes get opened and the romance and thrill of it all fades, fast.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Such a cliche isn’t it? Something we tell our kids to do when they start dating.

Why do so many adults not get this & rush in saying & doing things, and then invariably backtracking and creating unnecessary hurt."

Childs play. We have not learnt or evovled much really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We tell our kids loads of things we do ourselves.

The number of people who would be horrified if their kids went to meet people they'd only spoken to on the net.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Instant gratification, they want it all and they want it right now.

I have a friend like this, can't be single, moved into with someone after meeting earlier this year, only broke up with the last guy just after Christmas. "
its all over the place. Skittish. And rife.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

I think people get caught up in the excitement and the feelings that creates seeing it as something more than it is. Its the whole lust rather than love thing. It's great to enjoy eachother, the excitement and where it could lead but enjoy it in the moment rather than going too far too fast.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I know one or two like this, I’ve always put it down to being just a personality trait, they ‘need’ to be with someone, sometimes I think they know themselves that it’s probably not going anywhere but they just can’t face being/living alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Some people just can’t be alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know one or two like this, I’ve always put it down to being just a personality trait, they ‘need’ to be with someone, sometimes I think they know themselves that it’s probably not going anywhere but they just can’t face being/living alone. "

Abandonment comes from childhood Trauma.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I know one or two like this, I’ve always put it down to being just a personality trait, they ‘need’ to be with someone, sometimes I think they know themselves that it’s probably not going anywhere but they just can’t face being/living alone. "

Yep, that's exactly it. I've known a few friends who have rushed into relationships - declaring love, the desire to leave the swinging world behind and focus on monogamy, you name it, they've said it.

I think to a certain extent people get caught up in the fantasy. The potential. The what could be. Without actually thinking about it rationally because limerence/lust is happening and they so desperately want to believe it's love.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Such a cliche isn’t it? Something we tell our kids to do when they start dating.

Why do so many adults not get this & rush in saying & doing things, and then invariably backtracking and creating unnecessary hurt."

My last relationship moved disgustingly fast. We acknowledged it and talked about it and we were both on board.... turned into a right mess.

Never again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *NGthe2ndWoman
over a year ago

Here and there

Rush of blood and endorphins probably.

It takes experience to hold back and scrutinise it a little bit more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Sometimes diving straight in when it was only supposed to be a coffee has a great outcome too...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Sometimes diving straight in when it was only supposed to be a coffee has a great outcome too... "

I think having sex without planning to can work out just fine - if that’s what you meant ?

it’s more being carried away by the emotional stuff or committing to see someone every weekend and then having to back track when you want to see someone else, or creating a couples profile and then the awkwardness of neither of you using it or wanting to. Undoing is always much harder than doing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Rush of blood and endorphins probably.

It takes experience to hold back and scrutinise it a little bit more "

I think we all know people who do it again and again and again though ! So it’s more than experience, it’s wisdom !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNotts OP   Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I know one or two like this, I’ve always put it down to being just a personality trait, they ‘need’ to be with someone, sometimes I think they know themselves that it’s probably not going anywhere but they just can’t face being/living alone.

Yep, that's exactly it. I've known a few friends who have rushed into relationships - declaring love, the desire to leave the swinging world behind and focus on monogamy, you name it, they've said it.

I think to a certain extent people get caught up in the fantasy. The potential. The what could be. Without actually thinking about it rationally because limerence/lust is happening and they so desperately want to believe it's love."

The honeymoon period. You phase where for sone reason you don’t notice they snore or have a secret family

You’d think they’d learn to see it for what it is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think sometimes people think that with age that they know more about the relationship game and therefore have figured it all out in terms of judging characters etc. Which is hilariously arrogant.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall


"Such a cliche isn’t it? Something we tell our kids to do when they start dating.

Why do so many adults not get this & rush in saying & doing things, and then invariably backtracking and creating unnecessary hurt."

Because excitement and adventure can over rule common sense. That and people think they know better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Or that we are only here once and life is too short so just do it... people have different views of risk versus reward

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top