FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Authenticity

Jump to newest
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land

Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t hide them, but I don’t advertise them either. I let others work it out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tone down a lot of what I really wanna say.

But what I do say I actually do mean. Unless it's late on a Friday night, then that's the wine talking.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

No, people put forward their own perception of what they want to appear (believe) to be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm as authentic as I'm permitted to be whilst remaining within the rules of forum posts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I don't have to hide any flaws, hid foe long enough and that shot is painful.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

The proof is in the real meet face to face in the flesh!

Anything is an advert,sometimes very far from the reality!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

Much food for thought,and rightly so. Get the mind juices flowing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m pretty authentic. I tone my sense of humour down because I don’t want to be banned but other than that what you see/read is what you get with me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not possible how I write is how I speak x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm mostly exactly the same in person as I am on here ( I think )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t hide anything whether hear or anywhere else say it as it is because fabricating reality only fools yourself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m mostly authentic. I water down the language though but actually that’s pretty usual. I water down my views on race .

Other than that I’m pretty much all me. As annoying as I am in real life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m mostly authentic. I water down the language though but actually that’s pretty usual. I water down my views on race .

Other than that I’m pretty much all me. As annoying as I am in real life. "

Oh I also water down the references

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I very much doubt most people are are remotely authentic on here. Saying what your really think will open too many people up to criticism they don’t want to hear. I am in that camp.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It’s a bit like dating; people put their best foot forwards and try to be their best self in order to try to attract people and attention. That’s something that everyone does. I think that most people self regulate if they’re down or angry, plus not wanting a naughty step stint will force moderation.

I think that it takes a level of will to portray yourself completely and as a rounded person with flaws and weaknesses on here and it can be a double edged sword.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I'm mostly exactly the same in person as I am on here ( I think ) "

Ooh you are Grumpy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a habit of oversharing sometimes as weirdly this feels like an anonymous space to do that sometimes.

I have many flaws, I'm a sensitive wee soul and over my too many years here, I've never hidden them.

I understand why some people do though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no filters, I am a filter the older I get the less shits given x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s a bit like dating; people put their best foot forwards and try to be their best self in order to try to attract people and attention. That’s something that everyone does. I think that most people self regulate if they’re down or angry, plus not wanting a naughty step stint will force moderation.

I think that it takes a level of will to portray yourself completely and as a rounded person with flaws and weaknesses on here and it can be a double edged sword. "

The journey of self continues. We only should be in a battle with oneself,to be better than yesterday.

All day on here,and life in reality we are pulled down. Have to keep getting up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I don't have to hide any flaws, hid foe long enough and that shot is painful."

I totally understand this and I'm similar

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

I'm not the one to ask.

I feel like what I say is me, but I dunno how other people see me.

Unless they see me as a bit of a silly dickhead that says dong too much, then yeah s'fine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"It’s a bit like dating; people put their best foot forwards and try to be their best self in order to try to attract people and attention. That’s something that everyone does. I think that most people self regulate if they’re down or angry, plus not wanting a naughty step stint will force moderation.

I think that it takes a level of will to portray yourself completely and as a rounded person with flaws and weaknesses on here and it can be a double edged sword. "

I get that you want to portray yourself in your best light. But it sometimes comes across as some people are perfect which simply isn't realistic. Nobody is perfect. Does it minimise how people view their insecurities as they shouldn't feel envy etc which are normal feelings?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I have a habit of oversharing sometimes as weirdly this feels like an anonymous space to do that sometimes.

I have many flaws, I'm a sensitive wee soul and over my too many years here, I've never hidden them.

I understand why some people do though. "

Is it oversharing or is it just you saying it as it is?

Some could accuse me of oversharing but I actually don't know what it actually means. Don't we all share our life experiences if they are relevant to the conversation?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I honestly try to exaggerate my flaws , set low expectations

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I honestly try to exaggerate my flaws , set low expectations

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind"

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t think I hide them no. I’m aware of my flaws and I think I might have displayed them more openly before I started on my anxiety medication, which has made me so much more chilled out and zen

Sometimes it makes me wonder whether my flaws (jealousy, trust issues) were actually flaws or just a side effect of my anxiety?

Regardless, I feel happier.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"It’s a bit like dating; people put their best foot forwards and try to be their best self in order to try to attract people and attention. That’s something that everyone does. I think that most people self regulate if they’re down or angry, plus not wanting a naughty step stint will force moderation.

I think that it takes a level of will to portray yourself completely and as a rounded person with flaws and weaknesses on here and it can be a double edged sword.

I get that you want to portray yourself in your best light. But it sometimes comes across as some people are perfect which simply isn't realistic. Nobody is perfect. Does it minimise how people view their insecurities as they shouldn't feel envy etc which are normal feelings? "

In short; yes it definitely does.

People give the ‘correct’ answers on here, as opposed to their actual feelings and that can make others feel wrong for not being like that. Envy, jealousy, feeling low or sad are all natural feelings and don’t need to be cured or pushed away. Talking about them and understanding them is the important part

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions. "

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

It's best foot forward, isn't it. I don't think that's dishonest - for my positive qualities are also the real me.

Among my many flaws, I can be grumpy, argumentative and pedantic. I don't "hide" those, but equally know that I can just ignore threads that bring out those traits in me...well, most of the time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

Oh there is only one like me

Swimming in my own sea

Like or it or not I don't give a twot no pretence here .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you see with me is what you get … … I’ve always been authentic and have said things how it is ….

my character here is no different in who I am in life … I’m good at being myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

If say I'm pretty honest about myself and my flaws on here. Photos are very much a snapshot of a more perfected moment. I like to think my profile text balances it out with. In reality people will take what they want from comments or messages and form their own opinions based on the tone they think I'm using which can be misconstrued

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"It’s a bit like dating; people put their best foot forwards and try to be their best self in order to try to attract people and attention. That’s something that everyone does. I think that most people self regulate if they’re down or angry, plus not wanting a naughty step stint will force moderation.

I think that it takes a level of will to portray yourself completely and as a rounded person with flaws and weaknesses on here and it can be a double edged sword.

I get that you want to portray yourself in your best light. But it sometimes comes across as some people are perfect which simply isn't realistic. Nobody is perfect. Does it minimise how people view their insecurities as they shouldn't feel envy etc which are normal feelings?

In short; yes it definitely does.

People give the ‘correct’ answers on here, as opposed to their actual feelings and that can make others feel wrong for not being like that. Envy, jealousy, feeling low or sad are all natural feelings and don’t need to be cured or pushed away. Talking about them and understanding them is the important part "

Totally agree with you about talking and understanding emotions is an important part of becoming a happy individual.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true"

This is interesting and something I hadn't connected the dots with. But I do think I have an easier time about expressing my emotions here versus a male. Which is disheartening

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

Not really, I'm quite open about being a grumpy sometimes anxiety ridden bitch who's always tired. It's no different to what I say to someone face to face.

As for other things IE jealousy, I'm genuinely not a jealous person especially not with anyone from here, I'm not saying the green eyed monster hasn't made an appearance in my relationship before but we have great communication and accept its just part of life and how much we love eachother. Its not something that's ever got in the way of anything just means we have a conversation about why one of us feels that way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I'm mostly exactly the same in person as I am on here ( I think )

Ooh you are Grumpy "

Aww ta chuck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

I'd like to think that what I am here, is just the same as what you'd get if you met me.

What's not seen though is the plethora of thoughts and things I want to say. Not traits that I'm hiding but self doubt holding me back and that's just the same in the real world. Coming across quiet and subdued with the occasional little gem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"If say I'm pretty honest about myself and my flaws on here. Photos are very much a snapshot of a more perfected moment. I like to think my profile text balances it out with. In reality people will take what they want from comments or messages and form their own opinions based on the tone they think I'm using which can be misconstrued "

That's a good point that regardless of what you post others may misconstrue what you mean

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I think most of us present how we want to be, rather than how we actually are. I don't think it's always intentional, although it can be. For example: my posts are generally more thought through than my mouth would be That's to do with the medium, with seeing it written down I think.

Mrs TMN x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary

I am myself on here for the most part.

If I'm in a bad mood I do tend avoid the conflict that goes on here at times ,because I couldn't be arsed having a row .

Of course I'm envious of others from time to time,nobody can say they were never jealous whether it be on here or in day to day life.

I know my flaws and if they show they show

Em x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Not really, I'm quite open about being a grumpy sometimes anxiety ridden bitch who's always tired. It's no different to what I say to someone face to face.

As for other things IE jealousy, I'm genuinely not a jealous person especially not with anyone from here, I'm not saying the green eyed monster hasn't made an appearance in my relationship before but we have great communication and accept its just part of life and how much we love eachother. Its not something that's ever got in the way of anything just means we have a conversation about why one of us feels that way. "

I've seen your post and your openness about it. Makes me feel a bit more human

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *NGthe2ndWoman
over a year ago

Here and there

It's social media. Generally everything is toned down to what you want to portray

I don't air my grievances (anyone who has spent years on here will testify the fallout that can occur occasionally) so I would guess yes, we speak our minds but in a way to be careful and mindful of others here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I also think it goes back to the competition aspect - what are you here for? If it's principally sex, I reckon you're more likely to present yourself with that aim in mind, especially if you're a straight man. If you're on the forums more for friendship/chatting shit/venting, you may present yourself differently. Again, I don't think it's always an entirely conscious decision.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'd like to think that what I am here, is just the same as what you'd get if you met me.

What's not seen though is the plethora of thoughts and things I want to say. Not traits that I'm hiding but self doubt holding me back and that's just the same in the real world. Coming across quiet and subdued with the occasional little gem. "

I get that insecurities can hold people back. And Nicecouple made a good point that it's more difficult for males to open up about feelings on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I'm just me here and real life! Not everyone's cuppa for sure! Been told so! But hey ho! This is me x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I think most of us present how we want to be, rather than how we actually are. I don't think it's always intentional, although it can be. For example: my posts are generally more thought through than my mouth would be That's to do with the medium, with seeing it written down I think.

Mrs TMN x "

I can't type as fast as my brain thinks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I am myself on here for the most part.

If I'm in a bad mood I do tend avoid the conflict that goes on here at times ,because I couldn't be arsed having a row .

Of course I'm envious of others from time to time,nobody can say they were never jealous whether it be on here or in day to day life.

I know my flaws and if they show they show

Em x "

And I think that's how people genuinely are. We don't need to highlight our emotions but neither do we need to hide them if they show

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I'm a fake, I confess.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really have anything to hide - it's just typing with randoms on the internet after all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I also think it goes back to the competition aspect - what are you here for? If it's principally sex, I reckon you're more likely to present yourself with that aim in mind, especially if you're a straight man. If you're on the forums more for friendship/chatting shit/venting, you may present yourself differently. Again, I don't think it's always an entirely conscious decision. "

The competition thread along with others recently inspired this thread. I guess you're right now you portray yourself varies depending on your goal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm just me here and real life! Not everyone's cuppa for sure! Been told so! But hey ho! This is me x"

I get that vibe from you. You cond across as someone totally comfortable in their own skin. It's joyful to see

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm a fake, I confess."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

What I type is what you get, I'm honest I don't care less if people like me or not if I disagree I'll say it, if I agree I'll say it, if I think someone is a prick I'll say that too.

What's rh point in pretending to be something you're not, it's just setting unrealistic expectations to others that you will never be able to keep up in person.

I'll continue being my awkward self.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I don't really have anything to hide - it's just typing with randoms on the internet after all."

This is a very good point

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles."

Great stuff can you fix a bike I’ve got ? Or is that a lie ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles."

Now those are skills

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles."

I have neither a cock nor a bike..... so just the lies for me please... prob mixed with a bit of shite

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I don't really have anything to hide - it's just typing with randoms on the internet after all."

I'm not a random.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true

This is interesting and something I hadn't connected the dots with. But I do think I have an easier time about expressing my emotions here versus a male. Which is disheartening "

I think it ties in with authenticity. Loads of people will say that men should be able to open up more, express their feelings, we need to be aware of a mental health crisis among young men etc but very few step in when a guy has expressed albeit poorly, his distress at certain issues in his life and is being flamed.

But I'm an old cynic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles.

I have neither a cock nor a bike..... so just the lies for me please... prob mixed with a bit of shite"

Here we go again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles.

Great stuff can you fix a bike I’ve got ? Or is that a lie ? "

It's a lie.

I'm honestly full of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles.

Great stuff can you fix a bike I’ve got ? Or is that a lie ?

It's a lie.

I'm honestly full of it. "

That’s a lie that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are human and the fact is each and everyone of us have momentary faults, it's in our DNA. Unfortunately, lust, anger, envy, pride, gluttony, wrath and sloth are always fucking with us; which makes all of us far from perfect. There is no ideal World when inhabited by us humans, we're incapable of always getting along with each other because of our indifferences. Also, honesty hurts, hence why we sometimes don't speak it in order to avoid hurting others feelings. Simply strive to be a better person each day, God knows we try but it's not easy to be good in this day and age. Kindness and compassion is all it takes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles.

I have neither a cock nor a bike..... so just the lies for me please... prob mixed with a bit of shite

Here we go again. "

Wher've we been ? Where are we going ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true

This is interesting and something I hadn't connected the dots with. But I do think I have an easier time about expressing my emotions here versus a male. Which is disheartening

I think it ties in with authenticity. Loads of people will say that men should be able to open up more, express their feelings, we need to be aware of a mental health crisis among young men etc but very few step in when a guy has expressed albeit poorly, his distress at certain issues in his life and is being flamed.

But I'm an old cynic "

A fact amongst us in our time.

Still a massive stigma to it all.

Takes years to pull down the walls that have been built to control society and de masculine men.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true

This is interesting and something I hadn't connected the dots with. But I do think I have an easier time about expressing my emotions here versus a male. Which is disheartening

I think it ties in with authenticity. Loads of people will say that men should be able to open up more, express their feelings, we need to be aware of a mental health crisis among young men etc but very few step in when a guy has expressed albeit poorly, his distress at certain issues in his life and is being flamed.

But I'm an old cynic

A fact amongst us in our time.

Still a massive stigma to it all.

Takes years to pull down the walls that have been built to control society and de masculine men. "

What??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not an authentic person. I am full of shit and lie seven times out of ten because I am not perfect even though I like to pretend I am perfect but I am very good at giving blowjobs and fixing broken bicycles.

Great stuff can you fix a bike I’ve got ? Or is that a lie ?

It's a lie.

I'm honestly full of it. "

All teeth I bet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately you get what you see

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I already come across as a negative bitch I think, best not be any more authentic!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"What I type is what you get, I'm honest I don't care less if people like me or not if I disagree I'll say it, if I agree I'll say it, if I think someone is a prick I'll say that too.

What's rh point in pretending to be something you're not, it's just setting unrealistic expectations to others that you will never be able to keep up in person.

I'll continue being my awkward self.

Mrs "

Awkward self this resonates with me a lot. I'm rather socially awkward and I think that shows on here a lot.

Are people hiding themselves for gain on here all the time though or do they do it without realising. Or maybe to hide their past traumas, I certainly used to do the later a lot when I was younger.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true

This is interesting and something I hadn't connected the dots with. But I do think I have an easier time about expressing my emotions here versus a male. Which is disheartening

I think it ties in with authenticity. Loads of people will say that men should be able to open up more, express their feelings, we need to be aware of a mental health crisis among young men etc but very few step in when a guy has expressed albeit poorly, his distress at certain issues in his life and is being flamed.

But I'm an old cynic "

But now you've highlighted it to me it's totally accurate. There is a vibe of saying the right thing not then not following it up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Unfortunately you get what you see "

I may not agree with all your points but totally appreciate that you're open about them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mostly show all the good bits of my personality on here. I don’t think that’s being fake, I just don’t think there’s any real reason I’d need to show anything else.

If I’m feeling pissed off I usually stay away from the forums and reply to messages when I’m in a better mood.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I already come across as a negative bitch I think, best not be any more authentic! "

Careful there's a mod on the thread. But yeah I get you I can be an argumentative moo on here sometimes, within the rules of course

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Virtue signalled responses are all too common on here and have been for a very long time. Folk are scared to say what they actually think in case of potentially jeopardising a potential meet.

I prefer the people who say it as it is. These are my people. People who are true to themselves. People who don’t blow smoke up the arses of complete strangers on the internet in a thinly veiled attempt for their acceptance.

Be yourself. Be you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"I don't hide, I choose not to reveal certain aspects of myself.

This is in effect a room full of strangers. I'm not about to reveal the innermost workings of my mind

That's fair enough and I appreciate that. But I also notice you don't say I'm never envious of others etc. I think there's a bit of a difference between not sharing information and portraying you don't have negative feelings or emotions.

I agree. I think people feel that presenting yourself as human might work against you. Especially if you're a man.

It's sad but true

This is interesting and something I hadn't connected the dots with. But I do think I have an easier time about expressing my emotions here versus a male. Which is disheartening

I think it ties in with authenticity. Loads of people will say that men should be able to open up more, express their feelings, we need to be aware of a mental health crisis among young men etc but very few step in when a guy has expressed albeit poorly, his distress at certain issues in his life and is being flamed.

But I'm an old cynic "

Wait.. You mean people will bullshit the #bekind shit until it no longer suits them. Often those who choose to chant it the loudest are the first to dismiss it when it doesn't fit their view.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I already come across as a negative bitch I think, best not be any more authentic!

Careful there's a mod on the thread. But yeah I get you I can be an argumentative moo on here sometimes, within the rules of course "

If I'm getting het up, I log out, but I've never felt Fab deals very well with women who speak their minds.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

WYSIWYG with me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I hide my personality pretty well these days, I'm not sure about flaws though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I'll come back to this Frida. Try and articulate my thoughts in one paragraph, no more than fifty words. Wish me luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"WYSIWYG with me "

I'll have to admit I had to look that that up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My guess is 9/10 people in these forums are fucked up 1 way or another. And that other one is hiding it very well.

I’ve heard too many stories (me included) that tells how messed up we all are or has been.

So when I read how perfect someone’s relationship on her is, or how glorious someone’s life is, I think. Good for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/23 11:33:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And that other one is hiding it very well."

Thank you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And that other one is hiding it very well.

Thank you."

Haha.

Fab is like the local pub. Where we all go to get away from real life for a bit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"And that other one is hiding it very well.

Thank you."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"WYSIWYG with me

I'll have to admit I had to look that that up "

I’ve always used it. I’m not sure where I heard it but I love it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"And that other one is hiding it very well.

Thank you.

Haha.

Fab is like the local pub. Where we all go to get away from real life for a bit. "

What kind of pub do you go to? My local is always full of drama

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By being authentic you get to out people that dislike you in the first place. It would be awkward when you have a meet and not be what they were expecting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Virtue signalled responses are all too common on here and have been for a very long time. Folk are scared to say what they actually think in case of potentially jeopardising a potential meet.

I prefer the people who say it as it is. These are my people. People who are true to themselves. People who don’t blow smoke up the arses of complete strangers on the internet in a thinly veiled attempt for their acceptance.

Be yourself. Be you "

I do and I always end up getting fucked - it's great.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"What I type is what you get, I'm honest I don't care less if people like me or not if I disagree I'll say it, if I agree I'll say it, if I think someone is a prick I'll say that too.

What's rh point in pretending to be something you're not, it's just setting unrealistic expectations to others that you will never be able to keep up in person.

I'll continue being my awkward self.

Mrs

Awkward self this resonates with me a lot. I'm rather socially awkward and I think that shows on here a lot.

Are people hiding themselves for gain on here all the time though or do they do it without realising. Or maybe to hide their past traumas, I certainly used to do the later a lot when I was younger. "

Yeah I'm socially awkward too but there's no point hiding it all always be honest I'd rather people didn't like me because they genuinely don't like me & that's fine rather than like me for something I'm not.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"WYSIWYG with me "

Does this mean Forrest Gump wrong in saying "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I think that I've got all my flaws and problems on view to everyone here. I post at times when I'm sad, when I feel damaged, when I'm low, just as much as when I'm happy (in fact got to be more when I'm low as it's not that often that I'm the other way). I'm a flawed human being, and apart from a slight error in the age on my profile, everything I write is just me.

[In my defence on age, I do have pretty good genes age wise, and I think that most people meeting me for the first time would guess me to be even younger than what my profile says. And I don't use any beauty filters on my pics, what you see there is what you get. And if you ask me privately what my age and actual birthday are, you'll get a truthful answer, but I'll be disappointed if you don't then send me a card and prezzie on the day ]

I guess that I just don't see the point of lying or boasting, or even of trying to show myself in a better light than I deserve. Maybe means that I'm not knee deep in fanny every night, but that would probably get a bit tiring after a while anyway...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

I always post exactly the same as you'd find me in real life face to face.

No bullshit approach here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I’m a liberal lefty snowflake who doesn’t like the Tories or the majority of the press.

I also occasionally dress up in what society deems to be clothing of the opposite sex.

However I do like to think I look at arguments from all sides, even stuff I’m passionate about.

I’m definitely no angel but I like to think I’m a reasonable person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Nope I'm pretty transparent about what I want you all to know about me, and that matches with what people see when they meet me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Nope I'm pretty transparent about what I want you all to know about me, and that matches with what people see when they meet me "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Virtue signalled responses are all too common on here and have been for a very long time. Folk are scared to say what they actually think in case of potentially jeopardising a potential meet.

I prefer the people who say it as it is. These are my people. People who are true to themselves. People who don’t blow smoke up the arses of complete strangers on the internet in a thinly veiled attempt for their acceptance.

Be yourself. Be you "

I hold back , sadly Rex. I am sharper than I make out but gradually prohibited myself from being authentic because of the whining masses that garner popularity by building up a thinly veiled appeal for sympathy behind a totally fabricated wall of supposed slight and hurt ....... fuck them. That kind of feeble mindedness and total lack of character is taking over society, social media FAB n all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I wear my heart on my sleeve and I think that sometimes reflects how I post it when I post. I’ve spoken about lots of personal experiences on here and it may be seen as over sharing but I’m pretty much an open book. I only know how to be me so everyone on here will get the good and bad bits

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Virtue signalled responses are all too common on here and have been for a very long time. Folk are scared to say what they actually think in case of potentially jeopardising a potential meet.

I prefer the people who say it as it is. These are my people. People who are true to themselves. People who don’t blow smoke up the arses of complete strangers on the internet in a thinly veiled attempt for their acceptance.

Be yourself. Be you

I hold back , sadly Rex. I am sharper than I make out but gradually prohibited myself from being authentic because of the whining masses that garner popularity by building up a thinly veiled appeal for sympathy behind a totally fabricated wall of supposed slight and hurt ....... fuck them. That kind of feeble mindedness and total lack of character is taking over society, social media FAB n all. "

Amen to Granny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

Swinging without acknowledging emotions is to forget that we are humen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And that other one is hiding it very well.

Thank you.

Haha.

Fab is like the local pub. Where we all go to get away from real life for a bit.

What kind of pub do you go to? My local is always full of drama "

We all wear pyjamas in mine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Virtue signalled responses are all too common on here and have been for a very long time. Folk are scared to say what they actually think in case of potentially jeopardising a potential meet.

I prefer the people who say it as it is. These are my people. People who are true to themselves. People who don’t blow smoke up the arses of complete strangers on the internet in a thinly veiled attempt for their acceptance.

Be yourself. Be you

I hold back , sadly Rex. I am sharper than I make out but gradually prohibited myself from being authentic because of the whining masses that garner popularity by building up a thinly veiled appeal for sympathy behind a totally fabricated wall of supposed slight and hurt ....... fuck them. That kind of feeble mindedness and total lack of character is taking over society, social media FAB n all. "

Do you mean we're becoming a more homogeneous as people?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"WYSIWYG with me

Does this mean Forrest Gump wrong in saying "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."

"

Go Forrest!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Fuck I'm far from perfect. But I would argue that authenticity doesn't exist. We all adopt personalities to fit the situation we are in. They are authentic for that situation. Pickle was talking about code switching the other day and that's part of it. Swearing is a typical example. Here and in a lot of my life I swear a lot. I don't at work. That's not being inauthentic that's just being appropriate. Now I have some faults that I wouldn't admit to on a site in which I'm trying to attract people. So sure you could call that disingenuous.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"I think that I've got all my flaws and problems on view to everyone here. I post at times when I'm sad, when I feel damaged, when I'm low, just as much as when I'm happy (in fact got to be more when I'm low as it's not that often that I'm the other way). I'm a flawed human being, and apart from a slight error in the age on my profile, everything I write is just me.

[In my defence on age, I do have pretty good genes age wise, and I think that most people meeting me for the first time would guess me to be even younger than what my profile says. And I don't use any beauty filters on my pics, what you see there is what you get. And if you ask me privately what my age and actual birthday are, you'll get a truthful answer, but I'll be disappointed if you don't then send me a card and prezzie on the day ]

I guess that I just don't see the point of lying or boasting, or even of trying to show myself in a better light than I deserve. Maybe means that I'm not knee deep in fanny every night, but that would probably get a bit tiring after a while anyway..."

Polly I love it when you have shared you journey. Your honesty has really helped educate me on something I have little experience of. So thank you. But I'm not sure you are supposed to put your knee in fannies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent due to our inability to honestly express ourselves entirely for the fear of upsetting others or political correctness or other reasons. It seems the norm. nowadays to act like this which we know is wrong and yet we do it. Some of us more than others due to gain popularity, laws, etc.

Claim culture we live in doesn't help.

We can but try to be the genuine article (real deal). Not easy when faced with risk of persecution.

Hell, I dress up to look like a woman and it works but I'm under no illusion of who I am and can play in either mode and never ever out to deceive anyone of who I really am. I'm me, with all my faults (& I have many) you either like me or you don't - it really doesn't matter to me or should it to you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent"

Oh yes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent due to our inability to honestly express ourselves entirely for the fear of upsetting others or political correctness or other reasons. It seems the norm. nowadays to act like this which we know is wrong and yet we do it. Some of us more than others due to gain popularity, laws, etc.

Claim culture we live in doesn't help.

We can but try to be the genuine article (real deal). Not easy when faced with risk of persecution.

Hell, I dress up to look like a woman and it works but I'm under no illusion of who I am and can play in either mode and never ever out to deceive anyone of who I really am. I'm me, with all my faults (& I have many) you either like me or you don't - it really doesn't matter to me or should it to you."

I think I would call that kindness or empathy tbh. I think radical honesty is utter bullshit and just an excuse to be an arsehole. Sure tell me that I have my dress tucked into my knickers but I would rather you didn't tell me that I'm ugly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck I'm far from perfect. But I would argue that authenticity doesn't exist. We all adopt personalities to fit the situation we are in. They are authentic for that situation. Pickle was talking about code switching the other day and that's part of it. Swearing is a typical example. Here and in a lot of my life I swear a lot. I don't at work. That's not being inauthentic that's just being appropriate. Now I have some faults that I wouldn't admit to on a site in which I'm trying to attract people. So sure you could call that disingenuous."

Goffman’s presentation of self comes to mind.

#SociologyNerdBrain

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent due to our inability to honestly express ourselves entirely for the fear of upsetting others or political correctness or other reasons. It seems the norm. nowadays to act like this which we know is wrong and yet we do it. Some of us more than others due to gain popularity, laws, etc.

Claim culture we live in doesn't help.

We can but try to be the genuine article (real deal). Not easy when faced with risk of persecution.

Hell, I dress up to look like a woman and it works but I'm under no illusion of who I am and can play in either mode and never ever out to deceive anyone of who I really am. I'm me, with all my faults (& I have many) you either like me or you don't - it really doesn't matter to me or should it to you.

I think I would call that kindness or empathy tbh. I think radical honesty is utter bullshit and just an excuse to be an arsehole. Sure tell me that I have my dress tucked into my knickers but I would rather you didn't tell me that I'm ugly. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent due to our inability to honestly express ourselves entirely for the fear of upsetting others or political correctness or other reasons. It seems the norm. nowadays to act like this which we know is wrong and yet we do it. Some of us more than others due to gain popularity, laws, etc.

Claim culture we live in doesn't help.

We can but try to be the genuine article (real deal). Not easy when faced with risk of persecution.

Hell, I dress up to look like a woman and it works but I'm under no illusion of who I am and can play in either mode and never ever out to deceive anyone of who I really am. I'm me, with all my faults (& I have many) you either like me or you don't - it really doesn't matter to me or should it to you."

I agree that everyone is a hypocrite. I mean I know who I strive to be, but I fail constantly to be that person. But I'm working on it constantly and am a work in progress.

Is there a difference between the person you want to be to the person you are in reality. Or are they versions of the same thing? And kind of a normal human thing to do?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

I genuinely post how i feel my profile doesn't reflect how i am but I'm genuine oh and a like minded professional

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck I'm far from perfect. But I would argue that authenticity doesn't exist. We all adopt personalities to fit the situation we are in. They are authentic for that situation. Pickle was talking about code switching the other day and that's part of it. Swearing is a typical example. Here and in a lot of my life I swear a lot. I don't at work. That's not being inauthentic that's just being appropriate. Now I have some faults that I wouldn't admit to on a site in which I'm trying to attract people. So sure you could call that disingenuous.

Goffman’s presentation of self comes to mind.

#SociologyNerdBrain "

It’s not a long book. Worth it!

But here’s the famous Stephen Fry to explain it:

https://youtu.be/6Z0XS-QLDWM

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Fuck I'm far from perfect. But I would argue that authenticity doesn't exist. We all adopt personalities to fit the situation we are in. They are authentic for that situation. Pickle was talking about code switching the other day and that's part of it. Swearing is a typical example. Here and in a lot of my life I swear a lot. I don't at work. That's not being inauthentic that's just being appropriate. Now I have some faults that I wouldn't admit to on a site in which I'm trying to attract people. So sure you could call that disingenuous.

Goffman’s presentation of self comes to mind.

#SociologyNerdBrain

It’s not a long book. Worth it!

But here’s the famous Stephen Fry to explain it:

https://youtu.be/6Z0XS-QLDWM"

Thank you, I'll add it to my podcast list I working through

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck I'm far from perfect. But I would argue that authenticity doesn't exist. We all adopt personalities to fit the situation we are in. They are authentic for that situation. Pickle was talking about code switching the other day and that's part of it. Swearing is a typical example. Here and in a lot of my life I swear a lot. I don't at work. That's not being inauthentic that's just being appropriate. Now I have some faults that I wouldn't admit to on a site in which I'm trying to attract people. So sure you could call that disingenuous.

Goffman’s presentation of self comes to mind.

#SociologyNerdBrain

It’s not a long book. Worth it!

But here’s the famous Stephen Fry to explain it:

https://youtu.be/6Z0XS-QLDWM

Thank you, I'll add it to my podcast list I working through "

You’ll be disappointed when you get to this one and it’s only 2 minutes long

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

I say what I feel at the time. That being said, often I just don't post at all in a thread that's particularly divisive, but it has been known

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Fuck I'm far from perfect. But I would argue that authenticity doesn't exist. We all adopt personalities to fit the situation we are in. They are authentic for that situation. Pickle was talking about code switching the other day and that's part of it. Swearing is a typical example. Here and in a lot of my life I swear a lot. I don't at work. That's not being inauthentic that's just being appropriate. Now I have some faults that I wouldn't admit to on a site in which I'm trying to attract people. So sure you could call that disingenuous.

Goffman’s presentation of self comes to mind.

#SociologyNerdBrain

It’s not a long book. Worth it!

But here’s the famous Stephen Fry to explain it:

https://youtu.be/6Z0XS-QLDWM

Thank you, I'll add it to my podcast list I working through

You’ll be disappointed when you get to this one and it’s only 2 minutes long "

Lol I just added to my list, 2 minutes though may need to find a longer explanation

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

I think my posts over the last few weeks have been pretty honest and shown I've plenty of flaws.

No point in only ever posting when things are going great and it's been beneficial to recieve support from virtual strangers online at times.

I've never seen the forums as just being for happy, innocuous, random timewasting threads.

They can, and do provide so much more.

A

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent due to our inability to honestly express ourselves entirely for the fear of upsetting others or political correctness or other reasons. It seems the norm. nowadays to act like this which we know is wrong and yet we do it. Some of us more than others due to gain popularity, laws, etc.

Claim culture we live in doesn't help.

We can but try to be the genuine article (real deal). Not easy when faced with risk of persecution.

Hell, I dress up to look like a woman and it works but I'm under no illusion of who I am and can play in either mode and never ever out to deceive anyone of who I really am. I'm me, with all my faults (& I have many) you either like me or you don't - it really doesn't matter to me or should it to you.

I agree that everyone is a hypocrite. I mean I know who I strive to be, but I fail constantly to be that person. But I'm working on it constantly and am a work in progress.

Is there a difference between the person you want to be to the person you are in reality. Or are they versions of the same thing? And kind of a normal human thing to do? "

I'm by no means an expert but I believe we are all to a certain extent the same, we are human beings, we rely on the same air we breathe to live, we all have a soul, we are all special in our own way.

My advise would be to simply continue being you, do what makes you feel happy, be kind to others and to yourself. Don't look to be like others in order to please them, etc. You are divine, we all are.

It's just that sometimes other forces come into play (ego, etc.) and we don't always make the right choices in life; for sure we never stop to learn.

Enjoy life doing what makes you happy. Kindness is the best trait to have, but it doesn't mean to say we let others walk all over us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"In truth, I believe we're "ALL" a bunch of hipocrytes to a certain extent due to our inability to honestly express ourselves entirely for the fear of upsetting others or political correctness or other reasons. It seems the norm. nowadays to act like this which we know is wrong and yet we do it. Some of us more than others due to gain popularity, laws, etc.

Claim culture we live in doesn't help.

We can but try to be the genuine article (real deal). Not easy when faced with risk of persecution.

Hell, I dress up to look like a woman and it works but I'm under no illusion of who I am and can play in either mode and never ever out to deceive anyone of who I really am. I'm me, with all my faults (& I have many) you either like me or you don't - it really doesn't matter to me or should it to you.

I agree that everyone is a hypocrite. I mean I know who I strive to be, but I fail constantly to be that person. But I'm working on it constantly and am a work in progress.

Is there a difference between the person you want to be to the person you are in reality. Or are they versions of the same thing? And kind of a normal human thing to do?

I'm by no means an expert but I believe we are all to a certain extent the same, we are human beings, we rely on the same air we breathe to live, we all have a soul, we are all special in our own way.

My advise would be to simply continue being you, do what makes you feel happy, be kind to others and to yourself. Don't look to be like others in order to please them, etc. You are divine, we all are.

It's just that sometimes other forces come into play (ego, etc.) and we don't always make the right choices in life; for sure we never stop to learn.

Enjoy life doing what makes you happy. Kindness is the best trait to have, but it doesn't mean to say we let others walk all over us."

This is good advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

I don’t think I do, I am an open book and what you see is what you get.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onderWomanWlvWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'm autistic and have to spend a lot of everyday life pretending not to be for the comfort of others. It's relentlessly exhausting. I'm on Fab to relax and have fun, and so I mostly don't mask here. A lot of people don't seem to like that (based on the angry replies I get in my inbox!), but I don't see that as a problem. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm fine with that - I'm not going to spend my leisure time pretending to be anything/anyone other than me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone knows that I'm a miserable mare.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

What you read is what you get.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

"

you’re the only one who sees it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"…

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

"

you are not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eathrow pineappleCouple
over a year ago

West London

We are genuine people who say what we feel. Some things annoy us on here but that's par for the course.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I believe I'm authentic. I don't give advice because I don't walk in other peoples shoes or had their experiences.

I very rarely offer an opinion that isn't based on personal experience and avoid the vast majority of threads due to lack of interest or knowledge and I don't use the forums as a learning tool so I don't ask questions.

I'm not confrontational by nature but I do have a fab habit of pointing out red flags that are blindingly obvious to me but missed or ignored by many others and that includes the lack of balance in certain threads or topics.

I can't be anything but authentic but more often than not that means not commenting rather than typing for the sake of saying something.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

you’re the only one who sees it"

Thanks for letting me know.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"…

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

you are not. "

Now I’m confused…..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm me on here, within the rules. I do self-censor sometimes but otherwise, what you read is me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

"

This is only a small example of forum behaviour. I've seen lots of it as well as people who present a very different face and attitude in private to the public forum one.

The unfortunate thing is that far too many people are drawn in by the nice pics and lovely forum personas and completely miss the chaos being created in the background.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

"

Hypocritical behaviour abounds here!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think I hide my personality but I’m a lot more blunt on here than in real life. It’s just how I write.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"I'm me on here, within the rules. I do self-censor sometimes but otherwise, what you read is me. "

Although I don’t always agree with you, you are never disrespectful or rude.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm autistic and have to spend a lot of everyday life pretending not to be for the comfort of others. It's relentlessly exhausting. I'm on Fab to relax and have fun, and so I mostly don't mask here. A lot of people don't seem to like that (based on the angry replies I get in my inbox!), but I don't see that as a problem. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm fine with that - I'm not going to spend my leisure time pretending to be anything/anyone other than me. "

I get the exhaustion of masking and wanting rest bite from it on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

The subbing in this thread is so funny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

you’re the only one who sees it

Thanks for letting me know."

I was just seeing if I could tell you. That’s all

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The subbing in this thread is so funny "

You're talking about football now right?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"I think that I've got all my flaws and problems on view to everyone here. I post at times when I'm sad, when I feel damaged, when I'm low, just as much as when I'm happy (in fact got to be more when I'm low as it's not that often that I'm the other way). I'm a flawed human being, and apart from a slight error in the age on my profile, everything I write is just me.

[In my defence on age, I do have pretty good genes age wise, and I think that most people meeting me for the first time would guess me to be even younger than what my profile says. And I don't use any beauty filters on my pics, what you see there is what you get. And if you ask me privately what my age and actual birthday are, you'll get a truthful answer, but I'll be disappointed if you don't then send me a card and prezzie on the day ]

I guess that I just don't see the point of lying or boasting, or even of trying to show myself in a better light than I deserve. Maybe means that I'm not knee deep in fanny every night, but that would probably get a bit tiring after a while anyway...

Polly I love it when you have shared you journey. Your honesty has really helped educate me on something I have little experience of. So thank you. But I'm not sure you are supposed to put your knee in fannies."

Possibly a slightly inappropriate simile. Face deep in clunge? Drowning in lady cum? No, I think more my style would be "cosy cuddling with bountiful bosom buddies".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The subbing in this thread is so funny

You're talking about football now right? "

No he’s not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The subbing in this thread is so funny

You're talking about football now right?

No he’s not. "

I'm getting too old for new fandangled meanings for words grr.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

you’re the only one who sees it

Thanks for letting me know.

I was just seeing if I could tell you. That’s all"

How did it go?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"The subbing in this thread is so funny

You're talking about football now right? "

The proper football though, not the stuff that’s on the telly now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"The subbing in this thread is so funny

You're talking about football now right?

No he’s not. "

My remora

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

I am always myself, I'm mindful of what I say and how it can come across but I still say it as I see it.

I am outspoken with strong views on certain things that could be a flaw to some and also a good quality to have to others.

I enjoy the threads where we just have fun sod our opinions most people are too hung up and clutching to "my opinion" no one cares as much as the person with their opinion so it's best kept to ourselves.

Bring on the games and fun instead

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

you’re the only one who sees it

Thanks for letting me know.

I was just seeing if I could tell you. That’s all

How did it go?"

There was a knock at the door after but I didn’t answer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

Good post op. I think many folks (not all) type what they think is going to get them what they want.. Whether that is true to self or not. Bit judgy i know as nobody really knows what others are thinking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"I see a lot of non authentic behaviour on these forums, usually by people telling others to be kind and respectful but in the next thread they’re berating posters, body shaming and the like.

Of course this is not all forum users, but you can’t tell me that I’m the only one who sees it.

you’re the only one who sees it

Thanks for letting me know.

I was just seeing if I could tell you. That’s all

How did it go?

There was a knock at the door after but I didn’t answer "

Crashed and burned….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?"

It doesn't matter tbh , if am interested in a thread or post l give my tuppence worth , l did get banned by admin for asking a question on a couples forum post ..the question..why ? ..didn't think l'd get banned for asking that ..but l did..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I have spilled out the whole range of my flaws in my time here.

I am quite possibly a little more dirty minded than I show on here. But, I have to keep something back to flood the messages or face to face meetings with.

It's hard to be truly authentic in the flatness of a forum . I would hope there is more to all of us than what we could show here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm me on here, within the rules. I do self-censor sometimes but otherwise, what you read is me.

Although I don’t always agree with you, you are never disrespectful or rude. "

Thanks for that, feels like a compliment, even if we do disagree on some things. Ta

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I think I have spilled out the whole range of my flaws in my time here.

I am quite possibly a little more dirty minded than I show on here. But, I have to keep something back to flood the messages or face to face meetings with.

It's hard to be truly authentic in the flatness of a forum . I would hope there is more to all of us than what we could show here. "

I would imagine there is much more to people than they are willing to type out on the forum, which is totally understandable. Think what I was trying to get at that some not all present a maybe idealised version of themselves. Which I don't think is a particularly healthy environment for others and can't make themselves feel good when those standards slip. Because nobody is perfect and that's ok I think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"Some of the threads on here recently have got me thinking.

Do you normally hide your personality flaws on here? I mean if I look at some threads on here (only some mind) we live in a perfect utopia where people aren't jealous or envious of others. Are we really this perfect? Or are we typing out what we'd ideally like to be? How authentic are you in your postings on here? Or do you only post when you're in a good place maybe?

It doesn't matter tbh , if am interested in a thread or post l give my tuppence worth , l did get banned by admin for asking a question on a couples forum post ..the question..why ? ..didn't think l'd get banned for asking that ..but l did.. "

I'm sure you know it's against site rules to discuss bans and the reasons behind them. It will lead to a follow up ban.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top