FabSwingers.com forum: Cutting contact with someone who has caught feelings with you

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

yes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now, yes. Without hesitation.

Likewise if I feel I like someone too much, I'll back off.

Feelings are not worth it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

If the feelings were not reciprocated, I'd ask for some space to let things cool down and reassess down the line.

If I care too, awesome, we can keep fucking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No I wouldn't, I'd have an adult conversation with them about what was going on.

But if they tried to harm me, I'd drop them like a hot stone, never to go there again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

If it it was unrequited? Yes.

If it was mutual? No.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you don’t like someone and know they like you then you gotta do what’s gonna stop the pain and be honest. Cut the contact if you have to. Grow a backbone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cnugatugMan
over a year ago

Chatham

Actually did happen to me I met a wonderful woman from here became her submissive which we both enjoyed and one day she decided to tell me that she had started falling deeper for me at that time I wasn't interested in a relationship in the end it was a difficult choice but had to cut ties she then left the site and moved away I do look back and wonder what might have been but also I hope she found someone who loved her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Depends if it was feelings of warmth, mutual respect, tenderness, sexual excitement, shared interests. Or if they just wanted to boil my pet bunny and serve it for dinner...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I wont allow emotion again so wont get close enough to care so easy for new people im still to manage it 3 years on from my past tho i dont think il ever manage it either why you may ask probly because i dont want to iv had my happiness in my life i dont need anyone else to dilute its magic to me and make it feel less than what it was

So il stay here unatainable waiting for my next life where i get to cash in the I.O.U im owed by that sacrifice and focus on other aspects of my life than emotion

I dont abandon people i truly care about to fate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100%. Although I don’t have sex with others I still chat and make friends with people (mostly from the forums). If I felt someone was getting attached I’d explain how I feel and then cut off contact. If they were a forum user I’d probably avoid the forums for an extended period of time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I would. I think it's the kindest thing to do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. My husband is my first priority and I make it clear to anyone before meeting them that I’m not interested in forming that kind of a relationship with anyone else. Cutting them off is probably best for everyone involved.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Yes defo would cut contact been down that road once never again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a problem I'm going to have

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I know you can't help feelings but I honestly don't think I'd ever have this problem.

Them to me - too annoying but great pogo stick

Me to them - you're cool and you're fit but I'm dead inside.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If they didn't want anything to change I wouldn't need to cut contact.

If they started talking about meeting my family and moving in together I'd tell them it's not happening; even if I had deep feelings of love for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's probably better to take a break and I'd cut them loose, if it's not what I want

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

If it wasn't mutual, I would just reaffirm the boundaries. If they couldn't respect them, then I would cut ties.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Depends what I was feeling at the time, currently I'm not looking for somebody long term on here.

I was once unsure of feelings but went with them, the other person was 100% in quite early. Got in a bit deep and realised it wasn't for me, so had to make that known. Looking back I'd have to cut ties early on at least while I know I'm not looking for that.

If I were in the mindset of it myself, then I'd see how it plays out. That is very unlikely to be the case with fab however.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arlequin_tearsMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

Honestly, depends.

Being poly I'm open to lots of different sorts of relationships.

However, if I thought it was toxic or would damage other relationships then could absolutely shut someone out of my life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.

What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes. I'm not doing relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If we'd only chatted and never met, I'd be a bit concerned that they were declaring feelings based on nothing tangible

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilks xXxWoman
over a year ago

East Mids

"No I wouldn't, I'd have an adult conversation with them about what was going on.

But if they tried to harm me, I'd drop them like a hot stone, never to go there again."

This totally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

Feelings after just a chat is a bit weird so I’d definitely walk away.

If on contrary it someone I have few meets I’ll talk it through. I see it as a bit childish to run away or ghost someone on some assumption they have feelings. Having connection is great. I don’t have space and time in my heart nowadays for true love but you never know for sure till you have adult conversation

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

Tbh it depends, I am open to a relationship with someone I either meet on here or in real life

If the feeling was mutual or I thought there could be something between us then I wouldn't want to cut contact

If the feeling wasn't mutual, I would hope they would be mature enough to cut contact themselves instead of waiting/expecting me to do it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feelings can happen. I guess it's about understanding what the feelings are and if they are reciprocated.

I like feelings but I've experienced enough unrequited love to last me a life time, so I'd want to ensure I don't inflict that pain on someone else.

Much talking, kindness and honesy is needed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

F"
maybe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm unlovable so no chance of that ever happening

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I'm unlovable so no chance of that ever happening

"
theirs someone for everyone on this planet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Yes all the women I encounter end up wanting to be my gf.

Mind you Maya still is . lol hopeful the next ones wont

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iercedAndTattooedNE6Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Communication is key in every walk of life not just when discussing feelings, it seems as if we are loosing the art of conversation these days possibly due to the ever increasing digital world. Talk it out like adults for us, eventually as much as you may not agree if it’s between to reasonable people you’ll respect each others position.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer friendship as well as sex with folk I interact with. I'm not seeking 'more', and I'm pretty clear on that. If they decided they did? I'd still reiterate I am not, and they could decide based upon that I guess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cut contact? No, cool it down? Yes.

But if I liked them as much as they liked me…. Game on!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it might be different for us with us being married but we’d have to cut contact and would find it quite easy.

It’s not worth the issues it could cause.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm kind of going through this. My female best friend I have been in love with for so long. Its not reciprocated, at least I know she loves me and she knows I had strong feelings. To save the friendship I backed off those feelings. A couple of weeks ago she told me about a new guy she was head over heels in love with. I found my feelings coming back to the surface and I feel heartbroken even though I knew there waa no chance of anything happen. I'm scared to walk away in case she doesn't want me back. I literally only have 2 or 3 friends and I've known her for 13 years. So to live her friendship would also be heartbreaking, leaving me in a kind of undecided limbo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s about communication and respect also being understanding of each other’s expectations, the last thing I’d want is to hurt anyone emotionally however my firm hand against their bare arse might cause a little tingling feeling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I am trans so it’s pretty unlikely I’ll get into a relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

I think it depends what you mean by feelings. I have feelings for every man who’s cock I allow between my legs. I’d find it soulless if I didn’t.

However - I now very rarely meet and I’m rarely on-site - so perhaps the question isn’t aimed at someone like me.

Strong feelings (love or something akin to it) are obviously an issue if one person is in a relationship (which is not poly) and/or the other person doesn’t reciprocate them.

I had fairly strong feelings for a chap last year who I knew wasn’t a potential ltr. I simply backed off for a few months and gave my head a wobble. The last time I saw him we had a great time and there were no excessive feels.

If you’re both emotionally mature enough and it’s not full blown love then it’s not an issue.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well my innocent wee thread the other day certainly grew legs eh? Lol

2 threads now.. discussions aplenty.

From my experience there has to be some sort of feeling towards each to actually be intimate as I'm not a robot lol ….but having said that.. I've had to explain that i don't want a relationship and i genuinely like the person. Just being honest but i wouldn't cut them off or be very cold towards them. Life's too short to be an arse. Hey I'm flattered if anything.

Treat folks how you want to be treated …. Unless they stalk you then block, cut off, run for the hills aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.

What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important."

Absolutely this! Just cutting all contact with someone because you've decided they're too into you is really damaging for all concerned. Especially if they have no clue what they did wrong and suddenly find themselves ghosted. Have the talk first,then cut them off if they get weird about it. This applies to all gender identities and sexualities.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started to get feelings for a lady I was meeting regularly. I suspect she feels the same. It’s not the right time for me.

Not wholly cut contact, but it’s markedly less it was previously.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sooner you do it the better. It saves an aweful lot of pain in the long run. Please don't assume I am a heartless man with a dick for a moral compass, as it was me who got the gut punch.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.

What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

This is where being poly is so good; nothing is off the table, I don’t need or want to run from emotions. If the feelings aren’t reciprocated and it causes issues, then de escalate and reassess but if they are or there’s a potential for more, then it’s a good thing.

Emotions being seen as a negative, especially in sexual situations can be so limiting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.

What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.

Oh yeah. I'd have the conversation. I can't do this, I'm sorry, etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

Feelings are a very dangerous thing if only one has them ..for feelings to work both have to have them for eachother, but how do you know without risking not seeing that person again...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.

If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?

Personally, I would and could do so easily

I had an affair for 3 yrs with a woman and she kept giving me tasks to do. So she had to go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.

What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.

I have had to cut all ties when they won't accept that it's the end. That then spawned a slew of threads about me. I didn't rise to the bait and eventually he stopped and I think went unlos he had been talking about moving to where I live. I thought it was a joke at first as we hadn't even met!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This can be terribly awkward, you just need to tell them straight, you don't want to hurt their feelings if they're a friend but it's worse if you don't address it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread