FabSwingers.com forum: ••·· The Day Before The Meet ··••

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Dear Nøn-Binariës, Persons of Interest, Gentlemën and Ladiës...

Earlier this afternoon I was speaking to a friend on the telephone and she was telling me about her experiences when exchanging a flurry of enthusiastic messages the day before a long-anticipated meet.

Oh, you know how it goes — there's been a build-up of chat and chemistry over the preceding weeks, it's the day before the meet, you're super-excited and asking each other what they will be wearing and what cake they will be sampling...

However, what about those situations when you experience total silence the night before the meet? Is this an acceptable protocol? Is it a red flag? Would you be calm, nonchalant and just turn up at the agreed rendezvous and time, regardless?

What are your viewpoints?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I don't meet if I don't hear from them the day of the meet. But not hearing from them the day before is OK.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The night before, not a problem but if I didn't hear from them the morning of said meet then I wouldn't bother especially if the conversation had been flowing previously x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

I wouldn't show up if they didn't bother to speak to me on the day of meeting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Sometimes I need to be quiet for a while, so if someone else does too, I try not to worry.

I'll usually send a quick text to confirm plans are still going ahead a couple of hours before whether we're in a talkative or quiet period, but as long as I get a positive to that I don't mind if life gets in the way of gushy overcommunication

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I would just go. I am not losing anything if they don't show.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

Night before wouldn't bother me, but if I didn't hear from them or they didn't respond to me on the morning of the meet I'd just assume it wasn't happening.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would check in with them and make sure they were OK. I'd rather know the night before if they had changed their mind than on the day.

They could just be nervous too though.

I'd probably be a little disappointed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/08/23 20:22:06]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A simple “looking forward to meeting you tomorrow” or something along those lines isn’t a big ask. I’d expect some sort of communication the day before and the day of to make sure I wasn’t wasting my time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

If I don’t hear 24 hrs before…. I’m not going.

Treat me mean…. Keep me… clothed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

If the communication had changed in any way, I'd want to know why, I always arrange a meet on a weekend adventure, so I'd happily still go, even if he did cancel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I would want to know why the build up has changed. If it’s not a build up for the other person then it probably won’t happen. But then I’m not talking from experience as this has never happened to me so far

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities. "

•

So your meet is on, say a Sunday, and you've been messaging on and off between the previous Monday until Friday...but nothing whatsoever on the Saturday, i.e. the day before. I would have to have a robust Plan B.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"If I don’t hear 24 hrs before…. I’m not going.

Treat me mean…. Keep me… clothed "

•

That's my thinking too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hortishblondeWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I wouldn't show up if they didn't bother to speak to me on the day of meeting. "

I agree with that I wouldn't show up either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

•

Defo plan B. To be honest, I'd also feel vindicated in sending something like "as I've not heard from you today/yesterday [delete as appropriate], I'm just checking you're okay and we're still on to meet today/tomorrow. If I don't hear anything by X time, then I'll assume something has come up and we can rearrange. Hope all is well with you."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

•

This has happened to me once…

That is not the well thought out reasoned text that I sent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

•

This has happened to me once…

That is not the well thought out reasoned text that I sent

. I’m just imagining that text

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they.dont message you the day before then I take that as they aren't particularly bothered.

So id be out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't meet someone if it wasn't confirmed on the day that it was still going ahead. I like lots of chat and reassurance. I'm the kind of woman who will update you every chance I get. I'm just shaving my asshole. I'm doing my makeup. I've spilt soup on my dress but then I'll jump on the train. I'm on the train. I'm shitting my pants but I'm horny. I'll be there in five minutes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

•

This has happened to me once…

That is not the well thought out reasoned text that I sent

. I’m just imagining that text

•

Me too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I had a meet planned yesterday, there was so much chat leading up to it til he bowed out Tuesday evening. C U Next Tuesday.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I hardly ever have this problem. 98% of my meets are arranged for the same day.

The other 2% arranged for the next day never ever happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I’d want to check in the night before abs have an idea about whether there was a possibility of a cancellation.

I’d check in the day off to usually confirm time and meet point (and just done last check in/assurance piece)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had conversations that over a week then go cold. Sometimes folks are too pretense and not honest yet claim to be genuine. Genuine player. Even after communication off here. A social is arranged then ghost me. 3 weeks of this treatment.

I gotten used to it. Move on. Better people out there.

Night before quiet. Morning quiet. Block

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I agree a communication protocol is advance of a meet. If it's broken, I assume that the meet may be off, if they've failed to commit to their agreement

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Apologies for missing this earlier - far too much mental stimulation, talking and exhaustion meant I was asleep...

So. Bump.

I adore it. If someone's not being particularly enthused, if there's not that increase in messaging, that palatable frisson of excitement... well I'm not particularly keen. I like leaning in to someone's attention, focusing on another person.

I don't expect nor particularly want a lewdness to go with that anticipation, especially not the night before because they'll probably spaff out their excitement prematurely. Overnight.

I do like feeling desired. Like someone really does want to meet me. I'm a busy woman in my day to day life and if someone doesn't give me that energy like they want to meet me? I don't have to go through with it. I don't go through with it because I have too much respect for myself.

You can sort of tell when the interest isn't really there can't you? I'm getting far better at saying, apologies, this isn't working for me.

I think in part that's because I adore sensuality and almost... seduction. The build up. I don't need to waste time where my energy won't be reciprocated - there are people out there who will give me that energy. Delightfully so.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know never had one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I’d want to check in the night before abs have an idea about whether there was a possibility of a cancellation.

I’d check in the day off to usually confirm time and meet point (and just done last check in/assurance piece)"

•

That's sensible 'due diligence' and reasonable too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Apologies for missing this earlier - far too much mental stimulation, talking and exhaustion meant I was asleep...

So. Bump.

I don't expect nor particularly want a lewdness to go with that anticipation, especially not the night before because they'll probably spaff out their excitement prematurely. Overnight.

You can sort of tell when the interest isn't really there can't you? I'm getting far better at saying, apologies, this isn't working for me.

•

Absolutely! For me the night before is the crescendo of those little flurries of desire, anticipation, tailored with a gentle nudge to reaffirm the 'keenness' to meet. It doesn't have to be an endless barrage of messages, instead a subtle 'green light' of enthusiasm for the impending meet is enough for the mutual reassurance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

•

Yes that's it. The keenness is important to me; don't get me wrong, too keen and I feel a bit... unsure. I don't want texts relaying a minute by minute break down of their day.

I do want to feel like someone is anticipating meeting me and feeling excited about it though. If someone doesn't message with that sort of energy? Fuck it, ex-husband. A wise old man has been teaching me the ways of fuck it recently and it's so true.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

•

Yes that's it. The keenness is important to me; don't get me wrong, too keen and I feel a bit... unsure. I don't want texts relaying a minute by minute break down of their day.

•

I think we are on the same page. Thank you oh fora contributor.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I would always give a confirmation mail/chat on the night before a meet. If I didn’t get a response then I would assume it was off.

In my experience “meets” that involve lots of messages back and forth and “excitement” tend not to happen. I have found that it is actually a pretty good predictor of fantasists.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've experienced this a couple of times during my Fab time.

If there was communication up until the day before a planned meet, I'd be expecting the meet to go ahead. If there was then radio silence on morning/day of planned meet, I would already have plan B in place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I would always give a confirmation mail/chat on the night before a meet. If I didn’t get a response then I would assume it was off.

In my experience “meets” that involve lots of messages back and forth and “excitement” tend not to happen. I have found that it is actually a pretty good predictor of fantasists."

I like this level headed approach

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I would always give a confirmation mail/chat on the night before a meet. If I didn’t get a response then I would assume it was off.

In my experience “meets” that involve lots of messages back and forth and “excitement” tend not to happen. I have found that it is actually a pretty good predictor of fantasists."

•

I couldn't agree with you more! Thank you for your insightful input.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread