FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

•·· Chat: Chemistry and Momentum ··•

Jump to newest
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest...

How much focus and emphasis do you give to chatting and maintaining the flow of conversation? Is chemistry and connection important to you and, if so, how do you keep the flame of conversation burning?

Does the lack of *momentum* adversely affect the build-up of chemistry, the process of getting to know someone, and maintaining the connection and synergy? Otherwise how do things develop further or what is the natural progression to the 'next stage' (whatever that is!)?

Do you prefer the less-is-more approach or are you a chatterbox? Do you give closed responses which can sometimes kills the conversation, or do you ask open-ended questions that keep the dialogue flowing?

At point do you give up?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a conversation to flow with equal input from both sides. If I feel I am doing all the work I question are they too polite to say I am not interested.

I also find one word answers or an emoji hard to reply to, especially if I’ve written a bit and it maybe an emotion thing or something I feel needs more than just one word or emoji.

I understand that they might be thinking about it so if it happens more than a few times then I will ask them

Words are powerful and there are many clever wordsmiths who say things to gain attention or think that’s what you want to hear.

I like a phone call so I can hear how someone speaks and tone of them and that helps me to read and understand their messages

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I have to admit it's not always easy especially when you know it will be months before you get to meet said person ...

And as a bloke I always know when it's going nowhere , I may not admit it , but I know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find if I chat too much I inadvertently friend zone people

I try and keep chatting to a minimum if it’s someone I’m definitely gonna bang, once we’ve established that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I try and not overthink it - I know, I know. Coming from me.

Do you know what keeps a conversation burning? Not having expectations about communication frequency. Being able to avoid constant small talk just for the sake of momentum.

I try and not give closed responses unless I'm feeling that the conversation has come to a natural end/the other person isn't particularly "feeling" it for whatever reason.

I'd much rather people messaged me when they really wanted to talk to me, not because they're worried the chemistry between us is fading. If there's no real energy on their side, I can tell when it's not working.

Much like friendships. I have friends who I absolutely adore, nay, love and yet I don't talk to them daily. There are a few I do talk to daily but I guess what I'm trying to say is - it's such an individualistic thing.

I find that I will naturally lean more into conversations with a person at different times. I like when I can enjoy it for what it is.

Sometimes stepping back from a conversation can remind me how much I enjoy talking to a person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

The chemistry is what matters to me here.

I can go weeks without talking to people and just have a happy excited spike when we reconnect. I prefer that to stilted small talk and filler chat constantly that makes me not want to bother at all

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I tend to go with the flow and match their energy. But it comes with a distinction in that people are busy and will reply in their own time.

However, if it’s just one worded answers or short, I’ll simply cut the conversation short and move on, simply because they’re not interested or just wasting my time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I like a conversation to flow with equal input from both sides. If I feel I am doing all the work I question are they too polite to say I am not interested.

I also find one word answers or an emoji hard to reply to, especially if I’ve written a bit and it maybe an emotion thing or something I feel needs more than just one word or emoji.

I understand that they might be thinking about it so if it happens more than a few times then I will ask them

Words are powerful and there are many clever wordsmiths who say things to gain attention or think that’s what you want to hear.

I like a phone call so I can hear how someone speaks and tone of them and that helps me to read and understand their messages "

I think there are similarities to my thinking and your response above. Thank you for your input.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands


"The chemistry is what matters to me here.

I can go weeks without talking to people and just have a happy excited spike when we reconnect. I prefer that to stilted small talk and filler chat constantly that makes me not want to bother at all "

This is the same for me too, I don't need constant chat with someone, if we have been chatting and that spark was there I can go for weeks without hearing from them but then they msg or I do and that spark is still there and we just carry on chatting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I have to admit it's not always easy especially when you know it will be months before you get to meet said person ...

And as a bloke I always know when it's going nowhere , I may not admit it , but I know "

The 'heartbeat' of chat is quite important when you know it'll be quite some time before you meet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I like a good connection but I'm not an every day chatter, especially if it's someone we are meeting weeks/months away, too much chat over a period I tend to friend zone people.

A little and now and again keeps me interested I don't like feeling obliged to message daily.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I find that with people I meet face to face, I tend to chat to less online, as you know treacle. The stability of the friendship doesn't need constant reaffirming.

With people I don't get to see, it's chatting frequently online and that includes phone calls at the weekends

I do have a no contact rule and will employ the slow fade, if the conversation becomes one sided and maintaining the friendship is not an interest for either person

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I find if I chat too much I inadvertently friend zone people

I try and keep chatting to a minimum if it’s someone I’m definitely gonna bang, once we’ve established that "

Total opposite for me — if the chat dissipates then the other person inadvertently becomes a Penpal and a platonic friend.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

I don't think I have any hard and fast rules. I know I can be slow to reply sometimes too, and don't have any set expectations in terms of frequency/speed of reply.

There are some people I chat to really regularly and others where it's more sporadic. But, where meeting is concerned, as Grumpy said, you know when it's not going anywhere, even if that's where the conversation started.

I'll still chat to people I like/get on with though, even if it's clear we're never going to do the do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"Do you know what keeps a conversation burning? Not having expectations about communication frequency. Being able to avoid constant small talk just for the sake of momentum."

I think this is a 'girl versus boy' thing, Meli. The avenues of opportunities are greater for women on here in regards to introductory messages and therefore they can afford to adopt that 'pace'. With men, arguably, it's rarely the same experience.


"I'd much rather people messaged me when they really wanted to talk to me, not because they're worried the chemistry between us is fading. If there's no real energy on their side, I can tell when it's not working."

That probably works both ways.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"The chemistry is what matters to me here.

I can go weeks without talking to people and just have a happy excited spike when we reconnect. I prefer that to stilted small talk and filler chat constantly that makes me not want to bother at all "

Interesting.

"...spike when we reconnect." — what is the impetus to reconnect? Who reconnects first? And why? Perhaps to jumpstart the conversation...in order to re-establish/build the chemistry? Otherwise the chemistry fades...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much prefer to meet in person, pen pals are not the one, plus on top of that, no facial expressions or tone of voice to read etc, can just be so flat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"The chemistry is what matters to me here.

I can go weeks without talking to people and just have a happy excited spike when we reconnect. I prefer that to stilted small talk and filler chat constantly that makes me not want to bother at all

·

This is the same for me too, I don't need constant chat with someone, if we have been chatting and that spark was there I can go for weeks without hearing from them but then they msg or I do and that spark is still there and we just carry on chatting."

Sparks are just that, sparks. They are ephemeral. I strive for the flame because it keeps the frisson, excitement and interest burning.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Good questions.

I think in general it should be almost effortless, always enjoyable, never a chore, but you will want to be a little bit courageous if you really like someone (and vice versa)

So you will a/ want to ask lots of questions and b/ make yourself a little bit vulnerable by revealing yourself to them and c/ make regular contact , often ignoring who’s turn it is

It has to be a two way thing and If it’s going flat it’s usually for good reason. But the pace is less important as long as you’re moving forward.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I tend to go with the flow and match their energy. But it comes with a distinction in that people are busy and will reply in their own time.

However, if it’s just one worded answers or short, I’ll simply cut the conversation short and move on, simply because they’re not interested or just wasting my time. "

I totally understand your last part. So much so that I shoe-horned something along those lines into my profile when I first set it up years ago.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I like a good connection but I'm not an every day chatter, especially if it's someone we are meeting weeks/months away, too much chat over a period I tend to friend zone people.

A little and now and again keeps me interested I don't like feeling obliged to message daily.

Mrs "

I completely agree. I think it's about the quality of chat and momentum but not necessarily a quantitative thing; daily or frequent scattergun messaging isn't suggested or expected.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Do you know what keeps a conversation burning? Not having expectations about communication frequency. Being able to avoid constant small talk just for the sake of momentum.

I think this is a 'girl versus boy' thing, Meli. The avenues of opportunities are greater for women on here in regards to introductory messages and therefore they can afford to adopt that 'pace'. With men, arguably, it's rarely the same experience. "

I'm not sure I agree about it being a "girls versus boys thing". I know personally that I can only maintain a couple of conversations like that at any one time. That if I'm genuinely interested in someone it flows almost effortlessly and communication is more frequent naturally because I'm more invested in having conversations with someone. I don't think expectations bode well on the whole - I'd far more enjoy a more organic approach than be worrying about the minutiae.


" If there's no real energy on their side, I can tell when it's not working.

That probably works both ways. "

Of course it does. The question was very much about how *you* view it, not how others might keep the chemistry burning with me.

I think in any kind of relationship (loosely applying the term here) it's about two people - if there's not that frisson of contact you require (let's put aside frequency), then perhaps you're not that compatible.

I know I'm a talker. I also know sometimes I can go quiet - at one point I had on my profile I either waffle or I'm quiet. I do just fine keeping the flames alight with those who've sparked them inside me.

This is a lot of waffle, even by my standards.

I'm off to listen to a stoic sort talk about his dislike of favourite colours.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

If she’s chatting then she’s not sucking is my motto

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I find that with people I meet face to face, I tend to chat to less online, as you know treacle. The stability of the friendship doesn't need constant reaffirming.

With people I don't get to see, it's chatting frequently online and that includes phone calls at the weekends

I do have a no contact rule and will employ the slow fade, if the conversation becomes one sided and maintaining the friendship is not an interest for either person"

As long as I'm your treacle, sticky and sweet, that's all that matters Compy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’m not a chatty person, in fact, I’m not good at maintaining friendships/relationships based on chatting online only. I think it’s mostly due to my language barrier but also my neurodivergent brain can’t cope with keeping up.

I prefer to meet in person and establish a connection that way but it takes me a while to get to the point I’m confident enough with someone to let my guards down.

It’s obvious the pool of potential connections is going to be small but as long as other people are ok with it, I am too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I find there often isn't a correlation between the flow online and irl. But when both are sparkling it certainly builds up excitement. Conversation and connection are paramount for me. Without it I would rather use toys.

I do like it when someone makes an effort to stay in touch as I find without it things drop off quickly. I tend to use it as a gauge as to whether they are interested in me or see me as disposable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

If I really love you, I'll send you gifs that won't make sense to other people.

Sharing is caring or something.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I prefer to meet in person and establish a connection that way but it takes me a while to get to the point I’m confident enough with someone to let my guards down.

It’s obvious the pool of potential connections is going to be small but as long as other people are ok with it, I am too."

That's an interesting approach and I'm glad that it works for you.

I'm not going to meet all and sundry with the off chance that there's a possibility of a connection (or not). The connection has to be at least nascent from the messaging/chatting and then meet to see if there's further connection and chemistry.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"The chemistry is what matters to me here.

I can go weeks without talking to people and just have a happy excited spike when we reconnect. I prefer that to stilted small talk and filler chat constantly that makes me not want to bother at all

Interesting.

"...spike when we reconnect." — what is the impetus to reconnect? Who reconnects first? And why? Perhaps to jumpstart the conversation...in order to re-establish/build the chemistry? Otherwise the chemistry fades..."

That there's a reason to reach out on either side, an actual point and purpose beyond just making sure we're not forgotten about.

I have someone I'm lucky if I see once a year in person. We go months on end without speaking even online at all. But every time we do speak or see each other, that chemistry is still right there. It doesn't fade if there's actual chemistry, it only fades if it was never substantial enough to worry about anyway.

All of the most important people to me have been absent from my life for months or years at some point since we first truly connected.

People who need constant reassurance, who need to check in constantly and make sure I'm still interested, they're just not my people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"I prefer to meet in person and establish a connection that way but it takes me a while to get to the point I’m confident enough with someone to let my guards down.

It’s obvious the pool of potential connections is going to be small but as long as other people are ok with it, I am too.

That's an interesting approach and I'm glad that it works for you.

I'm not going to meet all and sundry with the off chance that there's a possibility of a connection (or not). The connection has to be at least nascent from the messaging/chatting and then meet to see if there's further connection and chemistry. "

Me too Nero. I won’t just meet anyone who asks. What I meant, as long as some sort of connection has been established online and it has a potential, I’ll most likely drop online, or at least reduce the frequency, in exchange to in-person relations instead.

(Hope it makes more sense)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"Good questions.

I think in general it should be almost effortless, always enjoyable, never a chore, but you will want to be a little bit courageous if you really like someone (and vice versa)

So you will a/ want to ask lots of questions and b/ make yourself a little bit vulnerable by revealing yourself to them and c/ make regular contact , often ignoring who’s turn it is

It has to be a two way thing and If it’s going flat it’s usually for good reason. But the pace is less important as long as you’re moving forward. "

I'm really onboard with your responses and you're not a million miles from what JagerMorgan also inferred above. It should be "effortless, always enjoyable, never a chore". Sadly "courageous" often gets replaced by apathy and indifference when only one party is making the effort.

I also agree it should be a two-way thing; I'm not striving for "pace" but I'm expecting things to move forward...albeit in small steps..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"If she’s chatting then she’s not sucking is my motto "

What if she's doing neither?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I find there often isn't a correlation between the flow online and irl. But when both are sparkling it certainly builds up excitement. Conversation and connection are paramount for me. Without it I would rather use toys.

I do like it when someone makes an effort to stay in touch as I find without it things drop off quickly. I tend to use it as a gauge as to whether they are interested in me or see me as disposable."

Perfectly put.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"If she’s chatting then she’s not sucking is my motto

What if she's doing neither? "

Block and report for being a time waster

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"If I really love you, I'll send you gifs that won't make sense to other people.

Sharing is caring or something."

If you can gif' me a few book tokens then I shall adore you more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"The chemistry is what matters to me here.

I can go weeks without talking to people and just have a happy excited spike when we reconnect. I prefer that to stilted small talk and filler chat constantly that makes me not want to bother at all

Interesting.

"...spike when we reconnect." — what is the impetus to reconnect? Who reconnects first? And why? Perhaps to jumpstart the conversation...in order to re-establish/build the chemistry? Otherwise the chemistry fades...

That there's a reason to reach out on either side, an actual point and purpose beyond just making sure we're not forgotten about.

I have someone I'm lucky if I see once a year in person. We go months on end without speaking even online at all. But every time we do speak or see each other, that chemistry is still right there. It doesn't fade if there's actual chemistry, it only fades if it was never substantial enough to worry about anyway.

All of the most important people to me have been absent from my life for months or years at some point since we first truly connected.

People who need constant reassurance, who need to check in constantly and make sure I'm still interested, they're just not my people."

I totally understand that but the aforementioned 'use cases' are (I presume) people that you're already acquainted with. What about someone new with whom the conversation is still in its genesis?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I prefer to meet in person and establish a connection that way but it takes me a while to get to the point I’m confident enough with someone to let my guards down.

It’s obvious the pool of potential connections is going to be small but as long as other people are ok with it, I am too.

That's an interesting approach and I'm glad that it works for you.

I'm not going to meet all and sundry with the off chance that there's a possibility of a connection (or not). The connection has to be at least nascent from the messaging/chatting and then meet to see if there's further connection and chemistry.

Me too Nero. I won’t just meet anyone who asks. What I meant, as long as some sort of connection has been established online and it has a potential, I’ll most likely drop online, or at least reduce the frequency, in exchange to in-person relations instead.

(Hope it makes more sense)"

It makes sense, Dee.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"If she’s chatting then she’s not sucking is my motto

What if she's doing neither?

·

Block and report for being a time waster "

Amen to that. †

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

How much focus and emphasis do you give to chatting and maintaining the flow of conversation?

A lot or it becomes pointless to me.

Is chemistry and connection important to you and, if so, how do you keep the flame of conversation burning?

Always important, and keep chatting to find out more about them.

What is the natural progression to the 'next stage' (whatever that is!)?

Flash my boobs at them.

At what point do you give up?

When they didn't appreciate the boob flash from above.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I totally understand that but the aforementioned 'use cases' are (I presume) people that you're already acquainted with. What about someone new with whom the conversation is still in its genesis?"

Usually the earliest days of that there's a constant flow anyway. But if it tapers off while life gets in the way for a while, it'll come back when we can pick up again. If I was getting a message every day from someone when the indicators are that I don't have the spoons and need to hermit for a while, I'd probably block them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love conversation and I love the flirty build up. It's also important to me to have a bit of chat after as well.

However, I'm realistic to know that real life comes first. I don't expect constant chat or even daily chat from people.

I think if you're planning to meet up with someone, it's exciting and and you want that enthusiastic puppy stuff. At least I do. I want to feel wanted and desired. I hope I make them feel that way too.

After spending time with someone its lovely to know they had a great time and that they want to do it again. That's actually really important to me. I love those random messages that tell me they are thinking of me and reminds me that they are still interested in me.

It shouldn't ever be hard work.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I try and not overthink it - I know, I know. Coming from me.

Do you know what keeps a conversation burning? Not having expectations about communication frequency. Being able to avoid constant small talk just for the sake of momentum.

I try and not give closed responses unless I'm feeling that the conversation has come to a natural end/the other person isn't particularly "feeling" it for whatever reason.

I'd much rather people messaged me when they really wanted to talk to me, not because they're worried the chemistry between us is fading. If there's no real energy on their side, I can tell when it's not working.

Much like friendships. I have friends who I absolutely adore, nay, love and yet I don't talk to them daily. There are a few I do talk to daily but I guess what I'm trying to say is - it's such an individualistic thing.

I find that I will naturally lean more into conversations with a person at different times. I like when I can enjoy it for what it is.

Sometimes stepping back from a conversation can remind me how much I enjoy talking to a person."

Wholeheartedly agree with you.

It should not feel pressured nor pushy. One guy was away with work for a week but we picked up again.

I also like just saying good morning have a lovely day. Cause we have lives and fab is not a hip attachment.

Fab after all should be fun, it is a place to make your own. Some people here have chatted, shacked up and got married.

Life is for living and being kind to one another.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a chatterbox, i like getting to know someone in normal or flirty chat. You could be the best looking person in the world but if we dont have good chat/chemistry then not for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"How much focus and emphasis do you give to chatting and maintaining the flow of conversation?

A lot or it becomes pointless to me.

Is chemistry and connection important to you and, if so, how do you keep the flame of conversation burning?

Always important, and keep chatting to find out more about them.

What is the natural progression to the 'next stage' (whatever that is!)?

Flash my boobs at them.

At what point do you give up?

When they didn't appreciate the boob flash from above. "

Bøø, this is a new side of you that I haven't seen: you being so profound, formidable and egregious.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I totally understand that but the aforementioned 'use cases' are (I presume) people that you're already acquainted with. What about someone new with whom the conversation is still in its genesis?

Usually the earliest days of that there's a constant flow anyway. But if it tapers off while life gets in the way for a while, it'll come back when we can pick up again. If I was getting a message every day from someone when the indicators are that I don't have the spoons and need to hermit for a while, I'd probably block them."

Thank you, oh silvan faerie, it makes perfect sense. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m going to base this on “fab life”

Before meeting someone I need longer, more frequent ‘ conversations’ to keep the momentum/interest etc.

Once we have met then I’m much happier with that slowing as I personally know all I need to know.

Obviously if they stop talking altogether that’s not ideal, but the odd little check in or periodic bursts of flirtation:chatter are acceptable to me.

Once we arrange to meet again I find that there is usually a pick up in conversation starting off that frission again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"I find if I chat too much I inadvertently friend zone people

I try and keep chatting to a minimum if it’s someone I’m definitely gonna bang, once we’ve established that "

You sweet talker chicken

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World


"How much focus and emphasis do you give to chatting and maintaining the flow of conversation?

A lot or it becomes pointless to me.

Is chemistry and connection important to you and, if so, how do you keep the flame of conversation burning?

Always important, and keep chatting to find out more about them.

What is the natural progression to the 'next stage' (whatever that is!)?

Flash my boobs at them.

At what point do you give up?

When they didn't appreciate the boob flash from above.

Bøø, this is a new side of you that I haven't seen: you being so profound, formidable and egregious. "

Stick with me Nero and one day you'll learn the real me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"…..

At point do you give up?"

Before I even start.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I love conversation and I love the flirty build up. It's also important to me to have a bit of chat after as well.

However, I'm realistic to know that real life comes first. I don't expect constant chat or even daily chat from people.

I think if you're planning to meet up with someone, it's exciting and and you want that enthusiastic puppy stuff. At least I do. I want to feel wanted and desired. I hope I make them feel that way too.

After spending time with someone its lovely to know they had a great time and that they want to do it again. That's actually really important to me. I love those random messages that tell me they are thinking of me and reminds me that they are still interested in me.

It shouldn't ever be hard work.

"

This was a deliciously gastronomic read. Thank you, MsWyld.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

It’s been interesting reading these responses and how everyone views communication differently.

I like to chat and it’s important to me to get to know people. If the chat starts to fade out then I take that as a lack of interest and I’m not one to chase people so if I feel they aren’t into me or not willing to put the effort in then I will stop being into them.

Kx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I’m going to base this on “fab life”

Before meeting someone I need longer, more frequent ‘ conversations’ to keep the momentum/interest etc.

Once we have met then I’m much happier with that slowing as I personally know all I need to know.

Obviously if they stop talking altogether that’s not ideal, but the odd little check in or periodic bursts of flirtation:chatter are acceptable to me.

Once we arrange to meet again I find that there is usually a pick up in conversation starting off that frisson again."

I'm totally with you on the "frisson"! I'm all for the frisson! Thank you, MP. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"…..

At point do you give up?

·

Before I even start. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"It’s been interesting reading these responses and how everyone views communication differently.

I like to chat and it’s important to me to get to know people. If the chat starts to fade out then I take that as a lack of interest and I’m not one to chase people so if I feel they aren’t into me or not willing to put the effort in then I will stop being into them.

Kx

"

Thank you MrsBrightside.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Less is definitely more as far as I’m concerned. The way I see it is if you really gel with someone then communication seems to flow effortlessly. If you have to work at it (or feel you’re working at it) then the magic isn’t really there.

I have a few people who message me like this - sporadically but effortlessly picking up where we left off - and it just works. They’re not chasing, they’re not demanding. It’s casual, simplistic, and undemanding. We can just be as we are - and I favour that approach.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I try and not overthink it - I know, I know. Coming from me.

Do you know what keeps a conversation burning? Not having expectations about communication frequency. Being able to avoid constant small talk just for the sake of momentum.

I try and not give closed responses unless I'm feeling that the conversation has come to a natural end/the other person isn't particularly "feeling" it for whatever reason.

I'd much rather people messaged me when they really wanted to talk to me, not because they're worried the chemistry between us is fading. If there's no real energy on their side, I can tell when it's not working.

Much like friendships. I have friends who I absolutely adore, nay, love and yet I don't talk to them daily. There are a few I do talk to daily but I guess what I'm trying to say is - it's such an individualistic thing.

I find that I will naturally lean more into conversations with a person at different times. I like when I can enjoy it for what it is.

Sometimes stepping back from a conversation can remind me how much I enjoy talking to a person."

Agree with first and second paragraph here OP.

Over thinking and nsa chat.

Plus it takes 2 to tango.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I try and not overthink it - I know, I know. Coming from me.

Do you know what keeps a conversation burning? Not having expectations about communication frequency. Being able to avoid constant small talk just for the sake of momentum.

I try and not give closed responses unless I'm feeling that the conversation has come to a natural end/the other person isn't particularly "feeling" it for whatever reason.

I'd much rather people messaged me when they really wanted to talk to me, not because they're worried the chemistry between us is fading. If there's no real energy on their side, I can tell when it's not working.

Much like friendships. I have friends who I absolutely adore, nay, love and yet I don't talk to them daily. There are a few I do talk to daily but I guess what I'm trying to say is - it's such an individualistic thing.

I find that I will naturally lean more into conversations with a person at different times. I like when I can enjoy it for what it is.

Sometimes stepping back from a conversation can remind me how much I enjoy talking to a person.

Agree with first and second paragraph here OP.

Over thinking and nsa chat.

Plus it takes 2 to tango. "

It absolutely takes two to tango. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest it totally depends on who it is and what the dynamic seems to be.

That said I get busy and can lose momentum in the process. Momentum can also be affected by what's going on in my day. If my day is stressful for example I'm likely to be able to have a soft or flirtatious conversation at the same time. The same if I'm busy.

But I'm a sod before a social. I tend to avoid flirting to quite a degree because the other person can interpret that as game on when I may actually decide there's no chemistry after a social. Some men didn't like the rejection and will throw comments back at you against you. No one likes that. I also don't want to mislead.

Besides it's good to be a little quiet at times.

The needy clingy ones, the insecure and even the abusive ones will get irked by a lack of momentum quite easily and wave their red flag at you in the process.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest it totally depends on who it is and what the dynamic seems to be.

That said I get busy and can lose momentum in the process. Momentum can also be affected by what's going on in my day. If my day is stressful for example I'm * likely to be able to have a soft or flirtatious conversation at the same time. The same if I'm busy.

But I'm a sod before a social. I tend to avoid flirting to quite a degree because the other person can interpret that as game on when I may actually decide there's no chemistry after a social. Some men didn't like the rejection and will throw comments back at you against you. No one likes that. I also don't want to mislead.

Besides it's good to be a little quiet at times.

The needy clingy ones, the insecure and even the abusive ones will get irked by a lack of momentum quite easily and wave their red flag at you in the process. "

*I'm NOT likely.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

None now but i did have a flow rule before meeting someone no flow no go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

It's definitely a tricky one but when it works it works. I chat with a few people on here and a regular flow is good but as has been said, if the others are limited in their responses it can just become hard work

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a friend in the real world. *true story.

And we can go weeks without talking. Then a text drops and we just hit off a back and for the conversation that doesn’t stop all day and possibly into the next day. We arrange for a beer and so on. After we go out, it fades off until next time. And I’m good with that.

And I’d be good with that in here too.

Sometimes tough, it doesn’t work that way, and we should take a hint too. Sometime we can read someone wants more conversation and sometimes they don’t.

So I try to read people more.

But then theirs them that just make it easy. And it becomes flowing and endless and then you realise you’ve spoken for months and you want them in your life one way or another. Sometimes in my bed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"I have a friend in the real world. *true story.

And we can go weeks without talking. Then a text drops and we just hit off a back and for the conversation that doesn’t stop all day and possibly into the next day. We arrange for a beer and so on. After we go out, it fades off until next time. And I’m good with that.

And I’d be good with that in here too.

Sometimes tough, it doesn’t work that way, and we should take a hint too. Sometime we can read someone wants more conversation and sometimes they don’t.

So I try to read people more.

But then theirs them that just make it easy. And it becomes flowing and endless and then you realise you’ve spoken for months and you want them in your life one way or another. Sometimes in my bed. "

You seem to have all bases covered, Wôôdy!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top