FabSwingers.com forum: Do you think it is selfish to ask a partner to abstain from sex for you?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lisa Smith has hit the headlines for announcing she never wants to have sex again, but would still like to have relationships.Is Expecting a celibate relationship selfish.?

While sex isn't everything in a relationship – it's a big, big part, and it's easy to say you could take it or leave it if you aren't in a relationship where it's never going to be a possibility. It's unrealistic and selfish to ask someone else to trade in the possibility of ever having sex again in return for companionship.

And end of the day its her body.? So Yes or No.?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Some people don't get the choice.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

can't see a problem, there have been a few threads about partners not wanting/having sex so people play away.

so seems to be people who are happy with a loving relationship without sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smells like arguments to me,, a partner of mine asked for that. I went along with it because I liked her.. she said I could find a f.b when I suggested one she went off the chart.

Yeah smells like arguments !

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

As long as it's made clear at the beginning of a relationship I guess it could work. Both partners would have to have a very low sex drive though.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Lisa Smith has hit the headlines for announcing she never wants to have sex again, but would still like to have relationships.Is Expecting a celibate relationship selfish.?

And end of the day its her body.? So Yes or No.?"

For loads it shows emotional attachment to make love, for me it was always a way of showing how bothered I was about a partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I wanted to become celibate - on the same day that pigs started flying

I would not expect my partner to do the same. Same way if I decided to diet, stop drinking or smoking - equally unlikely , I would inflict my self restraints on anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Smells like arguments to me,, a partner of mine asked for that. I went along with it because I liked her.. she said I could find a f.b when I suggested one she went off the chart.

Yeah smells like arguments !"
Well as long as we don't here its ok xx Did make me think is it selfish and then again its her body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lisa Smith has hit the headlines for announcing she never wants to have sex again, but would still like to have relationships.Is Expecting a celibate relationship selfish.?

And end of the day its her body.? So Yes or No.?"
If she has come out and says she doesn't want sex anymore you know what your getting into if you enter a relationship with her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not selfish, no. She's narrowing her pool of potential partners though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or it's an enormous double bluff whereby she actually wants attention from many blokes who feel they are god's gift and therefore capable of "turning" her. (not my actual opinion, just playing devil's advocate)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Or it's an enormous double bluff whereby she actually wants attention from many blokes who feel they are god's gift and therefore capable of "turning" her. (not my actual opinion, just playing devil's advocate)"
Thats a new way of looking at all this .. playing hard to get.

maybe she hated it so much sex it put her of for life.?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

".Is Expecting a celibate relationship selfish.?

If she finds another person who wants to be celibate I don't see the problem.

If she is upfront about it then people will know from the beginning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she finds someone as equally uninterested in sex as she is then she'll have a half chance of having some sort of relationship in her life. I suspect she'll be searching for some time though as 99.9% of men couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't be expected to live a life of celibacy because his partner has 'gone off it'.

Every individual is entitled to a sex life if they want one and to have celibacy imposed on you is a recipe for disaster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who is Lisa Smith anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who is Lisa Smith anyway?

I was wondering that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual').

Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reminded me of one of my favourite romantic films, The Mirror has Two Faces.

Mega Streisand, Jeff Bridges, Lauren Bacall & Pierce Brosnan + a slushy and funny script. What's not to love ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual').

Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

"
Just mad me think reading her story today .. If she is up- front about her feelings about sex . Do it make it ok ... or selfish.But one thing keep coming into my head IS its her body ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual')."

That's not what asexual means, but I think you already know that you naughty monkey.

"Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

Not me, but that's hardly the point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Smells like arguments to me,, a partner of mine asked for that. I went along with it because I liked her.. she said I could find a f.b when I suggested one she went off the chart.

Yeah smells like arguments !Well as long as we don't here its ok xx Did make me think is it selfish and then again its her body.

My suggestion was even incredibly well thought out and based on her idea of playing with someone else, it was a very confusing argument.. I was not going to be celibate and I'm not a vegetarian either,, if you wanna eat lettuce go for your life,, this girl likes steak

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reminded me of one of my favourite romantic films, The Mirror has Two Faces.

Mega Streisand, Jeff Bridges, Lauren Bacall & Pierce Brosnan + a slushy and funny script. What's not to love ?"
OOO I must now look for this film. xxx love a romantic one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reminded me of one of my favourite romantic films, The Mirror has Two Faces.

Mega Streisand, Jeff Bridges, Lauren Bacall & Pierce Brosnan + a slushy and funny script. What's not to love ? OOO I must now look for this film. xxx love a romantic one."

The plot is they are a couple of middle aged folks who have had a succession of failed relationships behind them.

They want the companionship and love of a relationship / marriage, but agree that sex complicates things.

I won't say anything more - it is a rainy day film - snuggled up under a throw on the sofa with nibbles in arms reach - that kinda film

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual').

Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual').

Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

Just mad me think reading her story today .. If she is up- front about her feelings about sex . Do it make it ok ... or selfish.But one thing keep coming into my head IS its her body .... "

The bottom line is that if she wants to take herself out of the sexual game completely then that's up to her, the world will trundle along just as happily as it always has been. It's no great shakes if one woman decides to abstain from fucking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not selfish.. She's making her choices clear, Im sure there are others out there who feel the same...

Jeez could i do it??? Noooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having read the story, she clearly hates the act of sex. Why should she, in her words, 'endure' it for any reason?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having read the story, she clearly hates the act of sex. Why should she, in her words, 'endure' it for any reason?"

She doesn't have to, and it seems she won't be anymore. She's gonna look a right tit if she changes her mind at some point in the future.

What happens if her body clock starts ticking and she wants kids? Will she endure it then?

My experience of women in general is that they tend to change their minds. A lot. Frequently. And without notice.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I like her honesty, if a lot more people were honest about sex before getting into a relationship then there might be less unhappy people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having read the story, she clearly hates the act of sex. Why should she, in her words, 'endure' it for any reason?

She doesn't have to, and it seems she won't be anymore. She's gonna look a right tit if she changes her mind at some point in the future.

What happens if her body clock starts ticking and she wants kids? Will she endure it then?

My experience of women in general is that they tend to change their minds. A lot. Frequently. And without notice.

And my experience of men is they also suffer from monthly tension. It looks like yours has started today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well the answer is the same as to every question about peoples preferences on this site, its her choice innit?

However, it's quite unlike any other sexual preference. The more extreme your preference the fewer number of partners you'll find. I would suggest that her preference is THE most extreme. I think she'll spend most of the rest of her life looking for a man (or woman if she's inclined that way) who will commit to a relationship with all the usual trappings except sex. I don't think there are many eunuchs about these days. I know there are people with genetic disorders that have zero sex drive, but again rare.

So unless she's going to be happy for a partner to play away for those needs I think she's going to spend a long time alone. Either that or get a gay BFFL.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having read the story, she clearly hates the act of sex. Why should she, in her words, 'endure' it for any reason?

She doesn't have to, and it seems she won't be anymore. She's gonna look a right tit if she changes her mind at some point in the future.

What happens if her body clock starts ticking and she wants kids? Will she endure it then?

My experience of women in general is that they tend to change their minds. A lot. Frequently. And without notice.

And my experience of men is they also suffer from monthly tension. It looks like yours has started today

God no, you couldn't be further from the truth. I'm as calm as a hindu cow and it pisses Siren off no end that I don't get stressed about anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual').

Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

Lol...that's a mature response!

Its not like she's forcing guys to go out with her.

I find abstaining every now and again is very good for helping you connect mentally and spiritualy with your partner....

And the sexual fun is heightened greatly when ye return to the fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This then rolls onto the question. Can you have a relationship without sex? I know I couldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Story on Daily Mail website - with a photo of said 'woman' (can't really call her a woman anymore as she's redefined herself as 'asexual').

Having seen her photo, who'd wanna fuck her anyway.

Lol...that's a mature response!

Its not like she's forcing guys to go out with her.

I find abstaining every now and again is very good for helping you connect mentally and spiritualy with your partner....

And the sexual fun is heightened greatly when ye return to the fun!

It might be that way for you girls but for us guys we just have a wank and when you girls decide to open the shop again it's like it was never closed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This then rolls onto the question. Can you have a relationship without sex? I know I couldn't. "

Ditto. I've got plenty of platonic friends, I don't need a platonic wife.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I personally didn't understand her need to share. So she doesn't want sex, yippee do: so?

She obviously craves some kind of attention.

There are couples that don't have penetrative sex for one reason or another, they don't make a song and dance about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lisa Smith has hit the headlines for announcing she never wants to have sex again, but would still like to have relationships.Is Expecting a celibate relationship selfish.?

And end of the day its her body.? So Yes or No.?"

Selfish, maybe. Unrealistic and ridiculously idealistic, most certainly.

I think any analyst would question quite deeply how and why she reached such a decision, which goes against everything the chemistry of our anatomy as humans dictates to us.

Sex is a must for me and - with the exception of the mother of my children! - it always has been for my many and numerous partners...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errrr you mean we get a choice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I personally didn't understand her need to share. So she doesn't want sex, yippee do: so?

She obviously craves some kind of attention.

There are couples that don't have penetrative sex for one reason or another, they don't make a song and dance about it."
Ture i was thinking why say in and make this open to public _iews .. maybe she was looking to see if others doing it .Must be loads not having sex for some reasons and say very little as up to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This then rolls onto the question. Can you have a relationship without sex? I know I couldn't.

Ditto. I've got plenty of platonic friends, I don't need a platonic wife."

Shoot me down in flames but if there was no medical reason why a partner couldn't have sex but they chose not to I'd be gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationships shouldn't be just based on sex, and if for some reason or other my OH said he no longer wanted to have a sexual relationship with me and we had talked about why ect.... Then I would respect his wishes.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe why she had this all out in public she see it as a womans Lib thing human right ? not sure .?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If when meeting someone they tell you sex isn't on the table it's then upto you wether you want to continue with that relationship and if the answers yes you made the choice so no it's not selfish

If years into a relationship your partners decides they don't want sex anymore I feel that's different as you didn't chose to go into a sexless relationship but more had it thrown at you

Not sure if I'd class it as selfish as if you go off sex you can't help that and I don't feel anyone should just give themselves over to anyone even if they are married sex isn't a right, but it must be hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I must be abstaining from sex.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like people have said, if it's up front at the start then people have a choice.

Suddenly deciding half way through a relationship that you don't want sex AND saying you don't want the other person going elsewhere is asking for trouble.

You'd have to find someone with a low sex drive/no sex drive or a cuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This then rolls onto the question. Can you have a relationship without sex? I know I couldn't.

Ditto. I've got plenty of platonic friends, I don't need a platonic wife.

Shoot me down in flames but if there was no medical reason why a partner couldn't have sex but they chose not to I'd be gone. "

Same. More often the case seems to be the woman going off it and the man going through the decision of staying with this person they love(aside from the lack of sex) or moving on.

However, I have seen a fair few times in the problem pages of the paper, women saying their guy isn't interested even with them parading around in sexy clothes etc. Why the fuck would a guy NOT want to have sex unless it was an off-week(illness/tiredness)? And with the ratio of men to women, why would any woman accept that when they have a queue of guys who'd love to be with them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And the sexual fun is heightened greatly when ye return to the fun!

It might be that way for you girls but for us guys we just have a wank and when you girls decide to open the shop again it's like it was never closed.

Well...maybe it just depends on the guy?

My bf and I had some of the most intense multiple orgasms ever while not having any sex!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And the sexual fun is heightened greatly when ye return to the fun!

It might be that way for you girls but for us guys we just have a wank and when you girls decide to open the shop again it's like it was never closed.

Well...maybe it just depends on the guy?

My bf and I had some of the most intense multiple orgasms ever while not having any sex!

"
yes you can think your self into a orgasm with just the mind no fingers or toys or cock.

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