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wife found a large carrot in my trousers pocket

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Escaped to work. Need an answer for why for tonight. I've been exploring anal play and have a but plug. Wanted something fatter but with a small end to make entrance easier. A fat carrot seemed ideal with plenty lube . She obviously does not know my fetish. Oops. Think carrot soup for tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have been concerned lately about your eyesight?

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

What about you saw the weather report, you are expecting snow and you wanted to be ready to build a snowman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are getting the gear ready to make her a surprise snowman.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about you saw the weather report, you are expecting snow and you wanted to be ready to build a snowman?"

Great minds.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG! whatever next cucumbers or even a marrow...........get proper toys and leave food for the other end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OMG! whatever next cucumbers or even a marrow...........get proper toys and leave food for the other end."

I think on this occasion the carrot will be easier to explain

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield


"What about you saw the weather report, you are expecting snow and you wanted to be ready to build a snowman?

Great minds..... "

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

You read in the paper that the best gold is 24 carrot and you've started collecting them to make her a ring?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Might have been better if she'd found condoms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay so what has she said so far...?

And dare I ask , was it obvious where you'd been using it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell her your being bullied by the easter bunny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say its a healthy snack! It's not like she wont believe you and is going to jump to the other conclusion... Is it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Okay so what has she said so far...?

And dare I ask , was it obvious where you'd been using it "
I've already gone to work and she's text me..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blame those 'wascally wabbits'

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Escaped to work. Need an answer for why for tonight. I've been exploring anal play and have a but plug. Wanted something fatter but with a small end to make entrance easier. A fat carrot seemed ideal with plenty lube . She obviously does not know my fetish. Oops. Think carrot soup for tea. "

Had you used it yet?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Can we just get this right? You want to try anal, thought you'd buy a single carrot, she's found it, texted you to ask why you have purchased a single carrot an you want some excuse? Is that it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't you just tell her the truth??? Why come up with a excuse, which in the future she may again find out about. I would rather know the facts than a jackanory story! She might not like what she heard at first, it might cause a argument but if u love each other it will be ok she might even suprise u.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Say it's a vegetable pet from friends at work, and say others have got a turnip and a mr potato head.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Bought a few carrots. Took one to have fun with. Yep id used it. It was clean but i had not put it in the bin . Stupid i know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell her the truth "you are giving it to an ass."

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Just tell her the truth "you are giving it to an ass.""

Very witty!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Bought a few carrots. Took one to have fun with. Yep id used it. It was clean but i had not put it in the bin . Stupid i know"

So you would serve your wife soup made from ass carrot

I do agree you should just tell her the truth, maybe she would like to help with your anal exploration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And her txt said?

Agree with poster above. Tell her the truth. She might like a kinkier you. Why do some guys assume their wives and gf's are so prudish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Escaped to work. Need an answer for why for tonight. I've been exploring anal play and have a but plug. Wanted something fatter but with a small end to make entrance easier. A fat carrot seemed ideal with plenty lube . She obviously does not know my fetish. Oops. Think carrot soup for tea. "

Tell her you're a Daucusist and say no more. She'll look puzzled and it'll take her a while to work out what the word means, thus buying you time to concoct a more plausible answer. Or you could just tell her you were chatting to the local greengrocer who gave you it as a sample and asked you to go home and try it... Same difference really, but your missus could end up eating it if she goes for the latter excuse.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have been concerned lately about your eyesight?"

He got mixed up thought carrot up bum would help his 3rd eye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say you're planning to make a carrot and courgette salad.

But you need her help to remove the courgette from your ass..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And her txt said?

Agree with poster above. Tell her the truth. She might like a kinkier you. Why do some guys assume their wives and gf's are so prudish?"
. Cause she no longer wants sex and always been boring in bed. Before you say it could be me I've had no complaints elsewhere.

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

Just wondering why you put it in your pocket after it had been up your ass?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I love all your suggestions. Got a answer she'll believe. Dog got it out of cupboard and was running around with it. Took it off him and put it in my pocket while i was doing things. See sorted.. I liked it rubbing against my cock . Got turned on and pushed it up my arse. Then you found it dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And her txt said?

L

Agree with poster above. Tell her the truth. She might like a kinkier you. Why do some guys assume their wives and gf's are so prudish? . Cause she no longer wants sex and always been boring in bed. Before you say it could be me I've had no complaints elsewhere. "

Fair enough. I wouldn't have said that, that's nasty.

All I'll say is, if this is a true story, it is a dilemma for you - BUT, the way you have posted hasn't half made me giggle ... Sorry xx

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Now you see if that had of been me when I was still married and my Mrs. asked my why there was a carrot in my pocket, the conversation would have gone like this:

'Why is there a carrot on your pocket?!'

'Oh that. I was planning on sticking up my bum and having a wank. It's okay, I didn't use it so you can have it dearest'

'Er... yeah. Okay, I did wonder, thanks for that. Do you fancy pizza tonight?'

With hindsight we had an odd relationship... actually we still do, I give her sex tips sometimes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just remembered this one lol

Made me larf anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her to go f**k herself & look at the carrot as you do.

She might let you watch then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Escaped to work. Need an answer for why for tonight. I've been exploring anal play and have a but plug. Wanted something fatter but with a small end to make entrance easier. A fat carrot seemed ideal with plenty lube . She obviously does not know my fetish. Oops. Think carrot soup for tea. "

What? Have you made this up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just remembered this one lol

Made me larf anyway "

Wonder how many lbs of carrots he's gone through since this thread started

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just messaged him for an update.

If you buy the carrots for livestock I think they are cheaper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her it was a sample from an organic farm- but to throw it away and not use it as it tastes like shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boom boom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy your on a diet and only eating rabbit food for lunch and you had that left over , lol for tomorrow .

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By *o1mrtlcMan
over a year ago

cannock

What's up doc

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello. I did not expect this to resurface.. I've moved onto proper boys toys. Still can't find my g spot. Any women to help me please.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Oh I remember this! Brilliant x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't you just tell her the truth??? Why come up with a excuse, which in the future she may again find out about. I would rather know the facts than a jackanory story! She might not like what she heard at first, it might cause a argument but if u love each other it will be ok she might even suprise u. "

That's what I was going to say great minds

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Any news on whether or not the OP ever found his G spot and what happened to the carrot?

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre


"Any news on whether or not the OP ever found his G spot and what happened to the carrot? "

He hadn't found it at the time of posting and the carrot is currently undergoing counselling after being rehomed in a new area posing as a parsnip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any news on whether or not the OP ever found his G spot and what happened to the carrot? "

I u!

I don't remember this thread. I need to change my name to BrownCarrot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahaha!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Did he tell her after the carrot soup consumption or whilst they were stirring it up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any news on whether or not the OP ever found his G spot and what happened to the carrot? "

Thank you so much for bumping this thread up

Tell her you were auditioning for a bugs bunny part in a play Op

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