FabSwingers.com forum: One cock policy and more

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

A) So you as the bisexual would obviously like to have encounters with the same sex. And your partner's says they are happy with that if they can have the opposite gender and have an encounter too. Otherwise it seems one-sided.

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

D) you want a third with both of you but of the same gender as them and they state they either don't like it or they would need to get their head around it. But they are have no issue with having a third of your gender.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

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By *assyBangBangWoman
over a year ago

St Helens

You tell them to fuck off

Seriously though, it seems a bit…controlling? Or as if the other person isn’t as in to it/has a jealous streak? And to not be allowed a threesome with another male, but they’re more than happy to have another female just screams red flag bullshit. I wouldn’t be coupling up with this person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I don't do relationships/FB/fwbs of any kind.

Life is just simpler.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

It doesn't sound free and liberated. It feels a little bit insecure and the need to equalise everything seems pedantic.

Is he counting orgasms, number of strokes?

Avoid I'd say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds hot. I’m in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It doesn't sound free and liberated. It feels a little bit insecure and the need to equalise everything seems pedantic.

Is he counting orgasms, number of strokes?

Avoid I'd say"

I can't stop laughing at the 'number of strokes'.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

If he is straight then asking him to play bisexuality is a Big ask. I'd agree to all of it, but because I prefer equal play, I wouldn't want to be a hot wife on my own, I'd like him to have as much fun as I do, whether that's together or separately

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"You couple up with someone.

Thoughts????

Bad idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk away, that seems very controlling and odd way to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all screams ... I want to be poly...but this means I fuck who I want ...but I decide who you fuck, and that's basically no one else unless I get something out means of it.

So it's either trust in your dynamic and relationship. Or fuck off ...

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If he is straight then asking him to play bisexuality is a Big ask. I'd agree to all of it, but because I prefer equal play, I wouldn't want to be a hot wife on my own, I'd like him to have as much fun as I do, whether that's together or separately

Does the fact he's not bisexual give him a pass to play with other women to be equal if you're not allowed single men?

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

I hope you have an abacus to kerp a tally of all posibilities or might all get confusing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners"

Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?

Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am going to pick E my own take

If someone keeping scores then that’s a bit toxic swinging isn’t about scores or notices on a bed post ie you had sex so now it’s my turn to have sex with someone else and you can’t till I have

It’s about injoying your selfs and others

There should never be score keeping like that

Think orther gude lines need to be drawn

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Wtf?

That’s all I have to say on this OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

Thoughts????

Bad idea

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'd say that it would depend on the two people involved and if that what what they both wanted.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners

Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?

Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?"

Perhaps impractical was the wrong word, but it sounds too regimented. I don't think you should have binary limits with such things

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I wouldn't want a partner telling me who I can have sex with and I wouldn't be telling them who they can have sex with.

If my straight man wanted a woman he wouldn't have to make conditions, and if I wanted a woman he wouldn't be making conditions for me either.

I'm not sure I read the OP correctly, but there's my answer

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

If you're talking him wanting sex every time you do, because you get the men and women, I'd say go for it, if you can find your own.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

You really get yourself into all the pickles don't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, it's a no. More on the pedantry side than the bi/straight/gender of the partner.

It also sounds like you aren't alligned in values. Rather than worrying about fair, shake hands and walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say I was lost by about rule B.

Only you two can resolve it yourselves. Thoughts and opinions of those not involved shouldn’t really matter. My thought and opinion is based on Tones’s and my dynamic, which is that I am happy for her to be “ahead”. Does it need to be even to be fair as long as you both get equal joy from the other’s pleasure?

Perhaps I’ve misunderstood the question entirely.

Miles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’ve read it properly it sounds a bit like point scoring to me.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"If I’ve read it properly it sounds a bit like point scoring to me. "

Him not wanting to be missing out, while she's got two options?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

As soon as you couple up with someone, they insist to be in charge of said couple profile, allegedly for you to not to deal with fabmin.

Then they frequently change fab password to your now “couple” profile so you have no control of whatsoever.

They then can bypass multiple filters and message plethora of women because they can.

This goes on.

My thoughts OP?

What’s your benefit in this?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I’d say I was lost by about rule B."

I’m with Miles on this one. Too long, didn’t read.

I’m being flippant, but there’s a serious point there too. If your relationship comes with so many strings attached that it takes you multiple paragraphs to explain the rules … then maybe swinging’s not really for him.

Keeping score isn’t fun. It’s a pain in the backside. This is supposed to be fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just have your relationship together. And have no arbitrary rules or limits on who eachother can see?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners

Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?

Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?

Perhaps impractical was the wrong word, but it sounds too regimented. I don't think you should have binary limits with such things"

Oh you've just set off a whole new thought process on this....it's really interesting. Thank you! Not that you have any idea what that would be.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

A one penis policy is toxic, lazy, one sided, reeks of homophobia at worst and an absolute disrespect for the value of same sex relationships at best, and an absolute hard limit for me.

I love my partners dearly. They do not get to dictate who I sleep with just as I don't dictate to them. Perfectly happy to take on board any particular feelings about individuals and work through them. But my choices are my own, their choices are their own, and as long as everyone is honest and respects the boundaries of honesty and openness then everything is wonderful

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By *onicZMan
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

My better half prefers the ladies to the men. I'm more than happy for her to go out on her own to meet them, which she does. She doesn't like to have the male involved if they're part of a couple unless I'm there too. She isn't there to put on a show for me or anyone else, we can do that in a club if we want to.

We play with couples together for the most part.

I don't currently meet alone but that's my own choice. I am allowed if I want to and maybe I will one day.

To be honest, so long as we know what each other are doing then all is good.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

OP I’ve been in this situation with FWB sooooo many times. And here I am, still looking for someone who will be free and liberated with me.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"It sounds pretty rigid and impractical in parts, such as the even number of partners

Impractical because if the ease of attention a woman can get as opposed to a man?

Is it designed to slow the woman down and stop her having so many meets?

Perhaps impractical was the wrong word, but it sounds too regimented. I don't think you should have binary limits with such things

Oh you've just set off a whole new thought process on this....it's really interesting. Thank you! Not that you have any idea what that would be. "

No probs P

End of the day it has to be something both are mutually agreeable to and happy with

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It sounds really confusing and dreary. Very much on their terms but I'll admit, I stopped reading past the second point. Why would someone entertain that?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

My thoughts are if it works for you then go for it and if it doesn't then don't. If deal-breakers lie in accepting or altering these terms then nobody is obliged to accept any and no apologies or explanations are necessary.

I think C is a bit impractical because the number of meets a man can get is likely to be substantially lower.

I personally wouldn't go with all these terms but parts of them I don't find unreasonable.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

You say "agreements and understandings" in your OP - but it doesn't sound like you've reached an agreement or understanding, it sounds like he wants to set the rules. That's neither agreeing nor understanding, to my mind.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can I just say this is not current. This was past.

I've also opened my inbox for this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.

I've also opened my inbox for this."

I'll await tomorrows follow up "why do I fucking bother asking fab" thread.

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By *herubchubWoman
over a year ago

Nr the sea

Doesn’t sound like you’re on the same page about any of it sadly! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.

I've also opened my inbox for this.

I'll await tomorrows follow up "why do I fucking bother asking fab" thread.

You know it completely

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.

I've also opened my inbox for this."

So, if it was past, what did you do and what did you learn from it ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.

I've also opened my inbox for this.

So, if it was past, what did you do and what did you learn from it ?"

Walked and swore.. never again.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Can I just say this is not current. This was past.

I've also opened my inbox for this.

So, if it was past, what did you do and what did you learn from it ?

Walked and swore.. never again."

It’s so easy to get caught up in something when it’s so good one on one, but not right in the long run. I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Does the fact he's not bisexual give him a pass to play with other women to be equal if you're not allowed single men?"

Which one of the points mentioned that she couldn't have single men?

I read it as he just wants as much play time as she does, together and separately. As a straight woman I'd say no to a ffm if he asked, he can happily go and find 2 women to do one, and I'd happily find 2 men for a mmf if he said no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m being spectacularly thick on this. Can I give the people names so I can get my brain cell round it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m being spectacularly thick on this. Can I give the people names so I can get my brain cell round it?"

Clive?

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We don’t play with many rules…too many rules just end up being too much head work and stop you from enjoying the moment.

It’s about fun at the end of the day - not wondering if you can do certain things or not

People who have too many barriers up for meeting are usually insecure and maybe swinging isn’t for them.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

It’s too much for me.

I like blinking

Let’s get naked and you can explain while I eat revels from your bum crack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m being spectacularly thick on this. Can I give the people names so I can get my brain cell round it?

Clive?

Yass!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I just read it and think I get it. You are coupling up and want to go on a swinging adventure together not apart. So even if you meet separately occasionally he doesn’t want you surpassing him. I kind of get it, if you care about each other you wouldn’t do things that cause upset.

It’s like if you had a baby together and you got to see all the first steps and first words & he didn’t get to share those times.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

There's compromise and there's complication

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

Brilliant!

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

That screams insecurity and unethical behaviour to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say welcome to swinging as a couple! Bloody difficult to get the right balance! I never managed it! I intend to stay selfish now I'm single and not compromise any more! Good luck, hope you can work it out if that's what's going on!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

Which bin??

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

I'm shocked that these kinds of negotiations would be put forth for setting up a casual play partner type duo. I can see why someone would entertain these requests for a life partner who hadn't signed up for an open relationship, and again only for a period until they get up to speed with things. But for a FB/FWB? Why would a single anyone give up so much of their agency against their wishes.

Also, not wanting to sound flippant but no need to compromise when you're already holding most of the deck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh lord that sounds far too much hassle. I can barely remember where I left my cars keys never mind whos turn it was to shag who.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Too many rules, we are bi and apart from respective straight people who join us we don't impose stupid conditions. Just ask before you do something and if we like it you can do it.

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Sounds very selfish to us whomever said it seems like they have to have all the toys and nobody else can touch them as he might need them lol would probably tell them thanks for the chat and hope you find what you're looking for

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I’m being spectacularly thick on this. Can I give the people names so I can get my brain cell round it?"

Rita, Sue and Bob works for me

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Rita, Sue and Bob works for me

Not Bob too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only other thing I'd like to add, I've been in the position of not being fussed about meeting as I was happy to just be with my OH.

He meanwhile was loving life and off a lot having frequent meets. This eventually lead me to feeling left out, lonely and isolated. Therefore more equality was needed.

If that means I was insecure then I hold my hands up to it!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Question. Did you impose a limit on how many women he could have sex with?

I'm wondering as to why he would say if you're having more he should too.

Wouldn't he just do whoever comes along anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

Which bin??

The general waste. Wouldn’t wanna recycle him

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

I lost track very early on with this brainteaser. Is there an equation that might simplify it?

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"I lost track very early on with this brainteaser. Is there an equation that might simplify it?

Same.

I just looked at the pretty pictures

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The only other thing I'd like to add, I've been in the position of not being fussed about meeting as I was happy to just be with my OH.

He meanwhile was loving life and off a lot having frequent meets. This eventually lead me to feeling left out, lonely and isolated. Therefore more equality was needed.

If that means I was insecure then I hold my hands up to it! "

What prevented you from going and meeting others in that situation, once you felt lonely and left out? Did you communicate the change with your partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this purely hypothetical?

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Sounds a bit ‘controlling’ to me that does

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

I was going to comment that this sounded like an ex of mine. Then you mentioned his name!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

You can gave mff where you all play as you’re happy with same sex sexual contact in a 2 male 3 some have MfM where You’re the focus and he should be happy you’re having fun and he’s part of it too. I’d be happy with that- asking me to play bi would be a no as im not. That would show a lack of respect for my choice. Relationships are about compromise - if you’re not willing to compromise you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Compromise should be a reasonable compromise not completely abandoning what values you have in favour of what someone else wants.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I was already lost at the coupling up part, sorry I'm no help at all with this one

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"You can gave mff where you all play as you’re happy with same sex sexual contact in a 2 male 3 some have MfM where You’re the focus and he should be happy you’re having fun and he’s part of it too. I’d be happy with that- asking me to play bi would be a no as im not. That would show a lack of respect for my choice. Relationships are about compromise - if you’re not willing to compromise you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Compromise should be a reasonable compromise not completely abandoning what values you have in favour of what someone else wants.

PS - its not about - hang on you’ve had 2 more shags than me .. i’ll have to have 2 shags now to catch up - Stroke count sounds a very reasonable measure!!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

PS - its not about - hang on you’ve had 2 more shags than me .. i’ll have to have 2 shags now to catch up - Stroke count sounds a very reasonable measure!!

PPS

They sound a bit immature to be fair from what you described. And potentially a bit insecure and controlling…

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Sounds very point scoring, you can have the fun but only if I can have exactly the same amount of fun, the threesome with a 4th involved stops it being a threesome.

We play together or not at all so maybe I don't understand it quite as much, for me if the Mr isn't there it's not for me.

Mrs

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By *overexploreMan
over a year ago

Romsey / Salisbury

I think B is the key one. If you want to be without your partner with a couple then what you want is an open relationship. In which case you don't need to count - you both just get on with things (and decide in advance how much info you are sharing).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

I was going to comment that this sounded like an ex of mine. Then you mentioned his name!

Stay away from Daves

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Definitely an element of "keeping score" here

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

This the first thing I noticed about Swinging; some seem to take away the one rule of monogamy and introduce a whole load more.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Immediately sounds like it would be far easier to admit that everyone would get what they want if there was no couple up.

Dunno though, maybe I'm missing the pros against all these cons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think you've misunderstood. There was no asking him to play bi. The partner wants someone of the opposite sex as he's not bi in place of being bi.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Question. Did you impose a limit on how many women he could have sex with?

I'm wondering as to why he would say if you're having more he should too.

Wouldn't he just do whoever comes along anyway?

The coupling up meant no single males for one and no single females for the other. On the agreement that they play as a couple. No single profiles alongside the couple one.

I see this so much on here.

But one is bisexual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

All I know is ideally if I was one of these swingin' 60s couples.

She can have sex with who she wants but for every PENIS I would ideally like a VAGINA.

She can have as much vagina as she wants, preferably recorded or with me beating off like a chimp in the corner.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's funny pickles?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Question. Did you impose a limit on how many women he could have sex with?

I'm wondering as to why he would say if you're having more he should too.

Wouldn't he just do whoever comes along anyway?

The coupling up meant no single males for one and no single females for the other. On the agreement that they play as a couple. No single profiles alongside the couple one.

I see this so much on here.

But one is bisexual. "

Sounds like a guy thinking coupling up with a woman would be the golden key to getting another woman to join in.

I think that's rife on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's funny pickles?"
all the questions. I can’t even comprehend an answer it is just to constricting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Sounds fair to me. Why should only one person be able to do whatever they want? The other person is just asking for their wants to be heard.

If their wants aren't compatible then either stop seeing other people or split up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!

Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.

It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am going to pick E my own take

It’s about injoying your selfs and others

There should never be score keeping like that

Think orther gude lines need to be drawn

I am in agreement here Op.

Relationships are meant to be fun.

Swinging is too.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!

I didn't read it like that at all, I read it as two singles making a swinging couple kinda deal... in that sense, pretty much anything put down as something someone can't do, regardless of gender, is just cause to suggest it won't work.

But then, I would say that, I had to Google how to spell 'couple'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!

But then, I would say that, I had to Google how to spell 'couple'

Depends on who is looking at it I suppose. Saying one can't fuck around. Or saying that they want to share the experiences and have equal amounts of fun.

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I'd say that it would depend on the two people involved and if that what what they both wanted."

This.

What other people think or feel isn’t really relevant it’s what the pair of you feel that matters.

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By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

If you’ve had to put pen to paper so to speak and ask in a thread you already know something is not right….. you should both play with who you want and join in with each other when it suits….and use each other for cuddles and romantic stuff if that’s what’s attracted you to one another……what rules did you set out in the beginning?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I think you've misunderstood. There was no asking him to play bi. The partner wants someone of the opposite sex as he's not bi in place of being bi."

Is he not getting them when you meet as a couple? I'm so confused lol

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere else

Add one more vote to the “this sounds complicated and unfair” brigade.

If I were in a couple and swinging arrangements were that difficult, I’d either forgo the swinging - or the couple. Whichever was more important to me would be what I wanted to keep.

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By *rigbyMan
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

Okay soo Shirley gets with Dave, Shirley is bisexual and Dave is straight.

A) Shirley is allowed to shag Barbara as long as Dave is also allowed to shag Barbara to make it fair

B) Shirley wants to hook up with Clive and Dora but Dave wants to come too. If Dave isn’t allowed to go to Clive and Dora’s he wants to be able to shag Mary instead

C) every time Shirley gets banged Dave has to bang someone too and they have to have banged the same number of people

D) Shirley and Dave want a threesome but Shirley wants to bring in Pete and Dave doesn’t. Dave wants to bring in Ellie.

Sounds to me like Shirley wants to enjoy her bisexuality and have fun and Dave wants to shag girls and make sure Shirley doesn’t have more fun that him.

Dave needs to get in the bin

Oi! What did I do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You couple up with someone.

You're bisexual they are straight.

You decide to play as a couple but there are agreements or understandings on some things. But it goes like this .....

B) You want to be a third with a couple. Without your partner. They insist it should be both of you. Or that they should be able to have someone of the same gender or opposite gender in place of it.

C) For every meet or encounter you have they want the same number. Maybe you take it in turns. You can never be ahead so to speak.

What would you do and say to that?

Thoughts????

"
your in the wrong relationship nothing in common going to fail .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A) Does the bi one also get to meet solo with the opposite sex as well as same sex? It doesn't seem fair for the straight one to be able to meet whoever they want if the bi one doesn't too, irrespective of body parts.

B) point scorey.

C) point scorey.

D) I can kind of see that some people would feel uncomfortable with that. Makes me pleased that we're both bi and this isn't an issue.

Overall it seems far too controlling and restrictive for me.

Nell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've reread it and still feel it reads the exact matching sounds.

However, I should have asked what the arrangement with straight meets was. The sexuality aspect was focussed on a lot. Should the gender of whom one is meeting change it?

Was there a one pussy policy?/

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

It sounds like a lot of hassle just to have sex!!

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'd like to know who decided you can't meet singles?

If it was him then he's shot himself in the foot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!

Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.

It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though."

I like your responses far. It's a shame people are responding to what you've put a bit more in depth.

If you're a straight guy you can't equal when she goes out with a woman, so you end up sat home twiddling your thumbs.

Your chances of being a male to another couple are ridiculously small compared to if she wants to be a woman to a couple. So naturally you just assume that's unlikely to happen for you but very likely for her. Again you're the one sat at home twiddling your thumbs.

FOMO becomes a thing as a male in the swinging world? It's not as easy as it easy for a female.

So it becomes a little point scoring based on the sheer fact that as you're the male and you're straight...truly straight, you're not going to be having as much fun and as you put in effect cuckold when that's not your agreed dynamic.

So how do you navigate it for it to be fair?

Does the fact she's not allowed a single male make the whole thing a one cock policy unless they play together as a couple and means he limits himself as it's only fair he doesn't have a single female. Or is it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!

Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.

It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though.

I like your responses far. It's a shame people are responding to what you've put a bit more in depth.

If you're a straight guy you can't equal when she goes out with a woman, so you end up sat home twiddling your thumbs.

FOMO becomes a thing as a male in the swinging world? It's not as easy as it easy for a female.

So how do you navigate it for it to be fair?

I still go back to concentrate on your dynamic / relationship . What happens outside of that is what it is...and it's certainly not a competition or a scoring chart. I find the obsession with numbers really strange.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the majority think the woman should be free to fuck around with whoever she likes while the man sits at home like a lemon. Isn't Swinging great!

Why be in a couple if the 2 people want different things.

It could work if the guy was a cuckold and wanted a hot wife. He's not a dick if he's not a cuckold though.

I like your responses far. It's a shame people are responding to what you've put a bit more in depth.

If you're a straight guy you can't equal when she goes out with a woman, so you end up sat home twiddling your thumbs.

FOMO becomes a thing as a male in the swinging world? It's not as easy as it easy for a female.

So how do you navigate it for it to be fair?

It's fair if both agree it's fair. Whatever the agreement is.

For a straight man swinging is indeed going to be difficult, unless in an agreed dynamic where he's happy she fucks around but he doesn't. Not necessarily cuckold. Perhaps he likes to watch and still be involved that way.

She could still have 3some experiences at parties or clubs with him present but not joining in. Or only meet as a couple with 4somes+.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Gosh, the rules and tit-for-tat of that scenario sounds like a minefield.

We're both open and transparent, and notify each other if there is intended play outside the marriage (FWB's for example. We view own own autonomies over our own bodies as sacrosanct. I respect hers, she respects mine. She does what she wants with hers and I do what I wish with mine.

The Ethical Slut by Hardy and Easton goes in to much detail on arrangements of this calibre.

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