FabSwingers.com forum: I'm looking...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For a sexy playmate.

Ideally:

Looks like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen.

Own yacht and private jet.

Sizeable independent income.

Prepared to worship me unconditionally.

House trained.

Classically trained chef.

I appreciate some of the above might be a big ask.

What can you offer me instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jaffa cakes... not the cheap knock off ones either

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jaffa cakes... not the cheap knock off ones either"

Tempted

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I can offer is good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?

Hmmm.

Anything more?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I can offer you Brucey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair. "

FARE*******

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair. "

With mayo?

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Own house

Own car

Own teeth

Has boobs

Chunky arse

Makes wicked Roast Dinners

No filter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.

FARE*******"

Fare enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can offer you Brucey"

Can I have you instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.

FARE*******

Fare enough "

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.

FARE*******"

Glad you corrected yourself, that was making me twitch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?"

Sounds fake!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t look like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen

But I do have a wicked ass and style

I am very house trained love to float around in skimpy outfits and do house work

Not to good at cooking but can order a good take away

Don’t mind being used at your beginning call or shared out when you need to

Dose my cv make the cut

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Own house

Own car

Own teeth

Has boobs

Chunky arse

Makes wicked Roast Dinners

No filter

Whar colour is the car?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I can offer you Brucey

Can I have you instead

I'm not offering myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can offer you Brucey"

He's busy with his own quest

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The ability to shoot my load in 5 mins, sorry that's all I have to offer, I'm skint, n my yachts sunk

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

"Own house

Own car

Own teeth

Has boobs

Chunky arse

Makes wicked Roast Dinners

No filter

Whar colour is the car? "

One's Grey

The other one is Orange

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goats cheese!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All I can offer is a good fuck x"

That could swing it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Own house

Own car

Own teeth

Has boobs

Chunky arse

Makes wicked Roast Dinners

No filter

Whar colour is the car?

One's Grey

The other one is Orange"

Sorry, I don't think we are compatible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.

FARE*******

Glad you corrected yourself, that was making me twitch

Serves me right for trying to be a smart arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A rubber dingy and a paper aeroplane?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Goats cheese!

Get out!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?

Hmmm.

Anything more? "

Short legs, Bert and Ernie and a lifetime supply of Haribo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A rubber dingy and a paper aeroplane?

Ooooft

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By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

House trained. Dab hand at microwave meals. Always stocked with a variety of biscuits.

I do look better in low light conditions and fuzzy filters

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"For a sexy playmate.

Ideally:

Looks like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen.

Own yacht and private jet.

Sizeable independent income.

Prepared to worship me unconditionally.

House trained.

Classically trained chef.

I appreciate some of the above might be a big ask.

What can you offer me instead?

I’m a good cook, house trained and have a fair few common traits with Jessica Rabbit (being entirely 2 dimensional not the only one)

Close as I can get.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?

Hmmm.

Anything more?

Short legs, Bert and Ernie and a lifetime supply of Haribo

Oh... Kinky stuff?

I like it

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

American style brunch is all I have to offer, but you already know this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can offer you Brucey

Can I have you instead

I'm not offering myself

Story of my life

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Chicken nuggets and chips, and I’ll pay for your bus fair.

FARE*******

Glad you corrected yourself, that was making me twitch

Serves me right for trying to be a smart arse

I can place a bow between your cheeks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For a sexy playmate.

Ideally:

Looks like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen.

Own yacht and private jet.

Sizeable independent income.

Prepared to worship me unconditionally.

House trained.

Classically trained chef.

I appreciate some of the above might be a big ask.

What can you offer me instead?

I’m a good cook, house trained and have a fair few common traits with Jessica Rabbit (being entirely 2 dimensional not the only one)

Close as I can get."

See... I think the unconditional worship is non negotiable

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"American style brunch is all I have to offer, but you already know this

I'm fed up, not hard up!

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By *abyblues2023Woman
over a year ago

Everywhere and Nowhere baby thats where im at

I can offer boobie hugs and cake

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"House trained. Dab hand at microwave meals. Always stocked with a variety of biscuits.

I do look better in low light conditions and fuzzy filters

Did someone say biscuits?

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

"American style brunch is all I have to offer, but you already know this

I'm fed up, not hard up!

Fair point

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can offer boobie hugs and cake"

Can I call you Jasper?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Little red angry bird look a like. Will that do?

Hmmm.

Anything more?

Short legs, Bert and Ernie and a lifetime supply of Haribo

Oh... Kinky stuff?

I like it"

Shit I forgot about the kinky stuff. Yep. Kinky stuff too. Check

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

Sounds fake! "

If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?

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By *abyblues2023Woman
over a year ago

Everywhere and Nowhere baby thats where im at

"I can offer boobie hugs and cake

Can I call you Jasper? "

That's my cat's name meow!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

Sounds fake!

If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?"

Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t look like Jessicca Rabbit or Jasper Paakkonen

But I do have a wicked ass and style

I am very house trained love to float around in skimpy outfits and do house work

Not to good at cooking but can order a good take away

Don’t mind being used at your beginning call or shared out when you need to

Dose my cv make the cut "

You make the shortlist

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

Sounds fake!

If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?

Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe? "

I had to be informed that drinking a macdonalds milkshake is apparently more difficult than drinking a normal drink through a straw.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

Sounds fake!

If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?"

You are serving it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can offer boobie hugs and cake

Can I call you Jasper?

That's my cat's name meow!

Here Kitty!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

Sounds fake!

If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?

Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe?

I had to be informed that drinking a macdonalds milkshake is apparently more difficult than drinking a normal drink through a straw."

Dyson to the fairies?

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By *abyblues2023Woman
over a year ago

Everywhere and Nowhere baby thats where im at

"I can offer boobie hugs and cake

Can I call you Jasper?

That's my cat's name meow!

Here Kitty! "

Purrrr

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Dyson to the fairies? "

Only if the fairies excite me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Um.

400 miles each way for excellent head and tongue punching from a 6ft amazon?

Sounds fake!

If I mention the completely unhousetrained, cant(/won't) cook, and utterly unmanageable brat does that make it seem more realistic?

Can you suck a golf ball through a hosepipe?

I had to be informed that drinking a macdonalds milkshake is apparently more difficult than drinking a normal drink through a straw."

It is.

Close enough xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can offer housetrained

Banging baker

Great sex (arguable)

Makeup tips

Blankets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets! "

It’s cos they private.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

[Removed by poster at 30/07/23 16:03:54]

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets! "

Expensive hobby.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Ideally:

Looks like Jessicca Rabbit - with a wig and if you squint

Own yacht and private jet - could do miniature size

Sizeable independent income - Yeah, no.

Prepared to worship me unconditionally - negotiable

House trained - it's just squirt

Classically trained chef - not trained but excellent cook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets! "

You “borrow” it I’ll fly it

Did my license for my 40th although it won’t be a jet more like a single engined plane

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I have an income. It's bigger than his

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can offer housetrained

Banging baker

Great sex (arguable)

Makeup tips

Blankets

Make up tips?

Girl, please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets!

You “borrow” it I’ll fly it

Did my license for my 40th although it won’t be a jet more like a single engined plane "

I had fly sim 98... I reckon I can fly it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets!

Expensive hobby.

Hence the income requirement

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slightly disappointed at the lack of private jets!

You “borrow” it I’ll fly it

Did my license for my 40th although it won’t be a jet more like a single engined plane

I had fly sim 98... I reckon I can fly it."

So i have a pilot AND a co pilot?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I would walk 500 miles...

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Marmite and goats cheese toasties

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

Damn, another list of criteria that I don't meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Marmite and goats cheese toasties

Pervert!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would walk 500 miles..."

But would you walk 500 more?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Damn, another list of criteria that I don't meet

Make me an offer!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I know where to get a good pasty.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

*looks down side of sofa...2.50 and a bit of fluffy popcorn?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/07/23 18:01:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/07/23 18:01:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I already failed at “sexy”.

Miles

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Fuck all

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have a pulse.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Loyalty, Honesty , Chips n Cuddles

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Loyalty, Honesty , Chips n Cuddles"

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Fuck all"

Let me know when you find it lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a pulse."

I'd even settle for residual body temperature sometimes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fuck all"

Things can only get better!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I already failed at “sexy”.

Miles"

I suspect this is not the strongest application you have ever submitted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"*looks down side of sofa...2.50 and a bit of fluffy popcorn?"

Probably the only bit of fluff I'll see for a while

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know where to get a good pasty. "

Good?

I think I might consider great.

I'm that kinda gal

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Seeing as my last offer was ignored I'm also prepared to include a freddo.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

I have nothing to offer sorry...

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"I would walk 500 miles...

But would you walk 500 more? "

But what if my feet are hurting?

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