FabSwingers.com forum: A healthy dose of cynicism...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

….."

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Of course you'd say that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Ha; I genuinely can't! I don't want it to be a person bashing thread etc, I'm more curious about general oversights etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I think I have a healthy degree of cynicism

I'm not going to trust strangers on the internet very much at all, especially on a site where I perceive their intention to be to get the sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I cannot believe my naivety and take people at face value without seeing what lays underneath

I have always said you can be a “dick” but be a constant one as then I know where I stand with you.

I fully understand people can’t always be positive but I am becoming more and more cynical in my older age behind intent.

When it comes to here I have or am learning take everything with a huge pinch of salt, people say things to stir responses or create a persona or to win favour. That said there are some truly, as far as I can see, genuine people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I am a very cynical person.

My automatic go to with new people is to question what they want from me and how much of what they're saying or doing is only in pursuit of their own goal rather than an actual connection.

I am incredibly cold and distant to new people in general. But on super rare occasions I meet someone and just know that they're okay. I like being able to let my guard down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naturally I am, but I try not to be and focus on the bigger picture.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Ha; I genuinely can't! I don't want it to be a person bashing thread etc, I'm more curious about general oversights etc."

In answer to above, no I’m not cynical naturally. And I hate seeing it, I’m a positive person and want others to see how wonderful people and the world can be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agpie and RavenMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I have a pragmatic approach to cynicism.

Frank

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I think that the older you get and the more you experience it’s very difficult not to become cynical about certain aspects and situations you’ve been in and seen before.

Yes I’m situationally cynical.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to take people at face value. Life’s too short to be questioning what goes on beneath the surface of everyone. But trust gifted easily is also easily lost.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Ha; I genuinely can't! I don't want it to be a person bashing thread etc, I'm more curious about general oversights etc.

In answer to above, no I’m not cynical naturally. And I hate seeing it, I’m a positive person and want others to see how wonderful people and the world can be.

Are you saying that cynical people can't be positive or see anything wonderful about the world or people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

I woundnt say fab has changed my levels of cynicism. Its not a healthy trait to carry.

For many people cynicism is an emotional coping mechanism – if you don't put your heart into something, you are much less likely to get hurt by it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

Cynical no, realistic yes. Cynical people can be draining so I have to be mindful of that. I've culled a lot from my life that were draining. As far as I'm concerned if I say I'm going to do something then I do it. If someone is cynical about me, that's their issue

As far as fab is concerned, it's words on a screen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I think I have a healthy degree of cynicism

I'm not going to trust strangers on the internet very much at all, especially on a site where I perceive their intention to be to get the sex"

That makes sense. I think it's sensible to have a certain degree of cynicism - being naive isn't a good idea is it? I think it's more being realistic than cynical. Aware of behaviour, intent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

I am sceptical about other people's motices and do tend to think that people are looking out for number one (just take a look at the MPs and handling of the PPE, or their expenses claims, or the existential issue of climate change, or...). So whilst generally I would say that I am a happy extrovert, my outlook on humankind can be quite bleak (probably making me a cynic).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I have unhealthy levels of optimism and cynicism.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

I am sceptical about other people's motices** and do tend to think that people are looking out for number one (just take a look at the MPs and handling of the PPE, or their expenses claims, or the existential issue of climate change, or...). So whilst generally I would say that I am a happy extrovert, my outlook on humankind can be quite bleak (probably making me a cynic)."

** motives (I really must proof read prior to clicking post)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Ha; I genuinely can't! I don't want it to be a person bashing thread etc, I'm more curious about general oversights etc.

In answer to above, no I’m not cynical naturally. And I hate seeing it, I’m a positive person and want others to see how wonderful people and the world can be.

Are you saying that cynical people can't be positive or see anything wonderful about the world or people?"

Are these cynical people we are talking about ALWATS cynical? Because of the answer is yes. My answer is yes, in my opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I try to be cynical. And sometimes I really am. But on the whole I believe the best of people and a always surprised when they turn out to be a twat.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try to be cynical. And sometimes I really am. But on the whole I believe the best of people and a always surprised when they turn out to be a twat.

#notalltwats

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a cynical idealist. My optimism has been shot down so many times that I always apply a large portion of past experience and reality to most things…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Ha; I genuinely can't! I don't want it to be a person bashing thread etc, I'm more curious about general oversights etc.

In answer to above, no I’m not cynical naturally. And I hate seeing it, I’m a positive person and want others to see how wonderful people and the world can be.

Are you saying that cynical people can't be positive or see anything wonderful about the world or people?

Are these cynical people we are talking about ALWATS cynical? Because of the answer is yes. My answer is yes, in my opinion.

I'm only thinking about it in relation to on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Being cynical doesn't make someone negative or pessimistic.Life experience quite often teaches cynicism.If I wasn't cynical I would have a shop full of flying carpets,magic beans,unicorns milk,pieces of the true cross,Henry the Eighths teapot and that special sort of gold that turns your skin green.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

If cynical = you always assume people are out to get one over on you, then I am not cynical.

My default is to assume best intent but that is within limits so that means I will assume you are well meaning but I will expect you to show good intent quickly and I will keep what I offer to a reasonable level until you have shown your good intentions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

I'd say I'm positively cynical. I internally question everything I'm told, read, see and hear partly because I'm wired that way and partly because I often observe a disparity between what people say and what they do.

I don't find it difficult to trust others, it's usually becomes clear quite quickly if their actions don't echo their words.

I find it difficult around negatively or bitterly cynical people and people who are openly cynical towards me because in general if I say something, I mean it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

…..

I can see where this thread is going to go.

Ha; I genuinely can't! I don't want it to be a person bashing thread etc, I'm more curious about general oversights etc.

In answer to above, no I’m not cynical naturally. And I hate seeing it, I’m a positive person and want others to see how wonderful people and the world can be.

Are you saying that cynical people can't be positive or see anything wonderful about the world or people?

Are these cynical people we are talking about ALWATS cynical? Because of the answer is yes. My answer is yes, in my opinion.

I'm only thinking about it in relation to on here "

Ahh right. I didn’t read the question as in ‘just on fab’… because that makes my point mute.

On fab.

I’m Very cynical until I am not. And yes, over time it’s gotten worse op. Experience has a lot to do with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and fab has sadly made me more cynical about certain things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Sometimes I cannot believe my naivety and take people at face value without seeing what lays underneath

I have always said you can be a “dick” but be a constant one as then I know where I stand with you.

I fully understand people can’t always be positive but I am becoming more and more cynical in my older age behind intent.

It's good to take things with a pinch of salt sometimes isn't?

Age does bring with it experience and that in turn lends itself to increased likelihood of cynicism I think. Or maybe it's not necessarily cynicism, maybe it's more... awareness of how things really are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The negative experiences I've had in the last couple of years (some on Fab) have changed me. I was an open, trusting, naive person. I now have cynicism about men that I didn't before. Because when it comes to sex - a great many people aren't sincere. And this place is all about sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a policy DTA don’t trust anyone

I knew trusted my hart to someone now it’s in a million bits so now DTA

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m cynical on here, because I think Fab has that effect on you after awhile.

Off site, not so much.

That said, I tend to take people at face value until they show their true colours and then my guard comes up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I trust nothing and nobody family friends nobody the need to trust makes you weak just like the L emotion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

I think people are far to cynical.

I also think people assume mistakenly that to be trusting is to be at risk . Inturn it breeds cynicism.

I tend to take things at face value and clarify if I don't know. You have to loose my trust rather than gain it .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I don't know if I would consider myself cynical.

I'm a bit weird. I trust everyone to a certain extent, until I don't. I'll let anyone in, quite deeply, until I stop. Usually it is something they do that makes the change happen, but sometimes it's because I get caught up in my brain and have to work the spaghetti mess of wiring out.

I don't believe when people say nice and complimentary things to me, but those things still make me smile... when they're from someone I like, or like the look of, or when I'm in a mood to be complimented. So, cynical, maybe a little, but maybe not.

Where it once took a long time for my trust to break, it now takes very little at all. And there is no coming back from that.

But I don't treat all people (men, women, anyone else) as guilty until proven innocent. I have high walls, but big gates. And they're open until they're not. So I guess that makes me not cynical.

I have a lot of cynics in my life. People telling me that (I'm paraphrasing here) men are all bastards, women are all crazy, everyone is a liar, the world isn't as it seems. And that's cool. That's them. I think that actually between us we have a decent balance, and that's healthy.

As for fab. Yes. It's changed my level of cynicism. I think I've become less inclined to cynicism, and more sympathetic. I have also become more scared of actual people in the world, and more wary.

So, in short... my head is a fucked up place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Despite shit times previously in my life I’m 0% cynical… ever the eternal optimist.

People can earn my trust easily but once that is broken I will never let them back in to my life.

I have one rule. Don’t lie to me. Ever. Other than that just be yourself.

I am definitely put off by cynical people though… in the same way I avoid drama llamas

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

[Removed by poster at 30/07/23 13:58:38]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Despite shit times previously in my life I’m 0% cynical… ever the eternal optimist.

People can earn my trust easily but once that is broken I will never let them back in to my life.

I have one rule. Don’t lie to me. Ever. Other than that just be yourself.

I am definitely put off by cynical people though… in the same way I avoid drama llamas

Chat shit get banged innit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Despite shit times previously in my life I’m 0% cynical… ever the eternal optimist.

People can earn my trust easily but once that is broken I will never let them back in to my life.

I have one rule. Don’t lie to me. Ever. Other than that just be yourself.

I am definitely put off by cynical people though… in the same way I avoid drama llamas

Chat shit get banged innit

Absofuckinglutely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Yes.

Next.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Being cynical doesn't make someone negative or pessimistic.Life experience quite often teaches cynicism.If I wasn't cynical I would have a shop full of flying carpets,magic beans,unicorns milk,pieces of the true cross,Henry the Eighths teapot and that special sort of gold that turns your skin green."

It doesn't mean they're negative or pessimistic. But, by the very definition of it, they're not particularly trusting of others. Is that a negative way of being? Perhaps. I think there's a difference between a sensible approach to cynicism and an unhealthy adoption of it due to previous experiences.

I'm not sure. Maybe. :D

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are just out for what they can get. They will feed you any bullshit to get what they want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I don’t really like cynical people. Maybe they are that way through bad stuff happening to them but everyone has a choice how they react.

I prefer to trust, it’s worked so far , I’m happy & have good relationships , friends etc. you can trust without being stupid and getting ripped off etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"I try to be cynical. And sometimes I really am. But on the whole I believe the best of people and a always surprised when they turn out to be a twat.

I think this is it for me too. On the whole, I will trust people until they show they are untrustworthy. I don't think that's naive; my experience has been that as most people are fundamentally good. But as GlowUp said earlier, 'trust gifted easily is also easily lost', and I would add unlikely to be given again. I can usually forgive but won't forget.

(It's interesting, as most people are saying they are untrusting but I'm sure would all say they themselves are trustworthy...would you want someone to doubt your intentions with no good cause?)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"People are just out for what they can get. They will feed you any bullshit to get what they want.

How does a chicken and pesto 'lasagne' sound?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

It boils down to this, a cunt is a cunt is a cunt....doesn't take cynicism to work that one out....and doesn't have to be carried forward, as cynicism plays out in various ways, lack of trust, vindictive behaviour, shit stirring amongst friendship groups, all that beautiful stiff

According to Research cynicism affects not only mental health buy physical health, having clear links to several illnesses

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"It boils down to this, a cunt is a cunt is a cunt....doesn't take cynicism to work that one out....and doesn't have to be carried forward, as cynicism plays out in various ways, lack of trust, vindictive behaviour, shit stirring amongst friendship groups, all that beautiful stiff

According to Research cynicism affects not only mental health buy physical health, having clear links to several illnesses

It’s a disease and they often spread it to others when they fuck people over abd gossip, lie etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I stick my neck out, risk getting hurt and own it if it happens.

When I am willing to take the consequences the risk becomes less powerful a focus than the reward.

I can be empathetic and compassionate to the other person but ultimately it is on them to do the same.

Generally cynicism about the world? That's subjective. The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's how you deal with it that counts. Dark humour is definitely a plus for me. There needs to be space for joy too though. I don't think anyone is one thing or the other. Some people have just got a little stuck in a certain way of being.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

In general I'm not at all but where fab is concerned I'm extremely cynical.

That is a result of having various people showing one face in public through the forums where they are lauded and praised for being lovely and supportive while at the same time revealing a completely different side in private.

I know people who are privately critical of other peoples pics and describe them as hideous and claim others are dangerous and shouldn't be allowed on the site but they pop on here to say how amazing they are and have often gone on to meet and verify them.

These people protect themselves with popularity and get away with so much because of those who enable them.

I take people as I find them and base my level of trust on how they act in my company but on here that is much more difficult.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

According to Research cynicism affects not only mental health buy physical health, having clear links to several illnesses

It’s a disease and they often spread it to others when they fuck people over abd gossip, lie etc "

Loads do that on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are just out for what they can get. They will feed you any bullshit to get what they want.

How does a chicken and pesto 'lasagne' sound?

Delicious

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itemeagainMan
over a year ago

Wexford

I don't know if I would consider myself cynical.

Where it once took a long time for my trust to break, it now takes very little at all. And there is no coming back from that.

But I don't treat all people (men, women, anyone else) as guilty until proven innocent. I have high walls, but big gates. And they're open until they're not. So I guess that makes me not cynical.

As for fab. Yes. It's changed my level of cynicism. I think I've become less inclined to cynicism, and more sympathetic. I have also become more scared of actual people in the world, and more wary.

So, in short... my head is a fucked up place.

I totally relate to all of that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Definitely... I'm very much an action speaks louder than words, so people have to prove what they say or I simply don't believe them!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I try to be cynical. And sometimes I really am. But on the whole I believe the best of people and a always surprised when they turn out to be a twat.

Yep, I understand this. Probably too well! I don't like letting things cloud future happiness so I possibly border on being a bit daft and not cynical enough at times.

I don't know, think I'll stick to how I am, I can handle the surprise of realising someone is a bit of a twat. Plus it gives my friends a chance to say "I told you so"

And stops me from missing out on things because cynicism marries far too easily, far too oft with saying no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

Yep.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asper1987Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

I’m pretty cynical, i’m not taking anything from fab as granted. I met a few guys but not many actually made me believe them. I found out is easier to get laid by picking guys in straight bars than here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

I'm fab cynical absolutely, the people that I choose to spend time with outside of fab nope not at all. I trust them with all of me, they're my tribe.

Here I don't trust people with me.

They get a version of me but do they genuinely truly get to know who I am, all my flaws and vulnerabilities, no is the answer. I'm not being vulnerable with people who are likely to disappear if I leave.

I'm honest and straight shooting but it's a pretty superficial arrangement. I've met some lovely people over the years but would I call them if I needed help, nope I wouldn't.

People may say your a friend but really are you an actual friend or just friendly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I try to be cynical. And sometimes I really am. But on the whole I believe the best of people and a always surprised when they turn out to be a twat.

(It's interesting, as most people are saying they are untrusting but I'm sure would all say they themselves are trustworthy...would you want someone to doubt your intentions with no good cause?)

Ah Yolo! Yes, a brilliant point. Even if your username still makes me cringe slightly.

I see it in a similar way to those who say people don't change yet believe themselves capable of changing less than savoury behaviour. It's a sort of... gosh. I'm not sure how to describe it. I think for the most part we'd like to think that people take our interactions as they are, believe we're talking truth or else, what would be the point of us talking? Yet when it comes to others we adopt a stance which doesn't align with how we'd like to be treated by others. It's an interesting anomaly, definitely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I cynical? I prefer realistic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do people have to earn your trust or lose it?

I'm not sure that someone who thinks you should earn their trust is cynical. I'd call that pragmatic. Especially here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you. "

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical. "

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…"

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

Interesting read.

Part of me wants to answer and part of me really doesn't.

I think it's a hard one to answer. Not being trusting of others doesn't necessarily mean you're cynical, it could just be a fear born out of previous experiences. You can trust to a point and then the fear sets in, you may be cautious or even waiting for the bad thing to happen that you fear. You might not necessarily believe that others motives are selfish yet still have that fear. You could see the good in people and still have that fear. You could also be a very positive person most of the time and again still have the fear.

Me cynical?....I like to think people are good, and not selfish, but usually find out the opposite and end up feeling stupid and upset for having some fairytale notion that they were good and I was fooled. It's just upsetting. My trust in others is low already, but that's based on a really shitty childhood. And a good few things since.

If someone was cynical about me? Now I probably would find that upsetting. If I'm honest.

Fab....actually some people on fab have restored my faith in that fairytale notion that people are good. Some have been more respectful than important figures in my life, others have shown themselves to be real adults and talk stuff through and just be consistently lovely, like a specific female friend I have on here. I wish some people could see just how lovely she is.

Others have me uttering the words 'what the fuck?'

Spending time with cynical people, yes until it starts affecting me too much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is cynical being used to mean untrusting of people?

Can I be both cynical and trusting? Hope for the best, prepare for the worst ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

Yes. a healthy dose of cynicism is not a bad thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it..."

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

On here I am definitely very cynical, seen way to many emotional catfish, that hide under the popular umbrella, to not be.

Arms length is the happiest place for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Sceptical or cynical

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that. "

That was not a personal attack

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack "

To be fair, it did sound very critical.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack "

How do you link being cynical with lack of personal integrity?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack "

That was how it read.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack

To be fair, it did sound very critical."

However, it sounded or people's take it on it, im telling you that it wasent a personal attack.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack

To be fair, it did sound very critical.

However, it sounded or people's take it on it, im telling you that it wasent a personal attack. "

Then clarify, if you'd no intention of offending

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say you're cynical?

I've been thinking about it this morning (early afternoon) off the back of a couple of threads. How we approach things, the trust we have in others. How easily it can be broken.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? Their intentions, what they say etc. On the flip side, do you mind if others are cynical about/towards you? Are you happy spending time with cynical people?

Has Fab changed your level of cynicism?"

I avoid everyone as regards being cynical .. life's too short to let those kind of people into your life .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack

To be fair, it did sound very critical.

However, it sounded or people's take it on it, im telling you that it wasent a personal attack.

Then clarify, if you'd no intention of offending "

I do Believe that point has just been clarified

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not cynical at all actually, believe it or not. I judge by my own standards and see the good I everyone..

That said, I’m also not in the least naive and am not surprised if someone lets me down.

I don’t forgive easily though. And if you actually break true trust, then I’ll salt the very earth around you.

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack

To be fair, it did sound very critical.

However, it sounded or people's take it on it, im telling you that it wasent a personal attack.

Then clarify, if you'd no intention of offending

I do Believe that point has just been clarified "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

It's a difficult one. You have to protect yourself from those who would do you harm yet stay open to opportunities. I'm certainly not foolish enough to believe all the empty compliments handed out to gain my trust and favour but I see them for what they are, harmless social grease. I hope I strike the right balance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack

To be fair, it did sound very critical.

However, it sounded or people's take it on it, im telling you that it wasent a personal attack.

Then clarify, if you'd no intention of offending

I do Believe that point has just been clarified "

I can see no clarification, or attempt of. Just a blanket “I didn’t mean any offence”

You singled out my comment, an entire section of and said that the behaviour (my behaviour) lacked personal integrity. Couldn’t be any more of a personal attack if you tried.

But

A). I’m not de-railing someone else’s thread

B) your comments say more about you than they do me.

C) thank you to people for the “back-up”

I’m still not cynical - I may have become a little more jaded in the last hour though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Is 'salting the very earth around them' after some slight, not being cynical.

No. It’s being reactive. I’m neither expecting or not expecting it. Just being prepared.

I don’t expect to crash my car, but I wear a seatbelt…

So I hear that, however, apart of being cynical is lack of integrity, so behaving as you suggested in that last sentence, is lacking in personal integrity....just my take personal take on it...

A lack of personal integrity?

Wow. Just absolutely gobsmacked.

No call for that.

That was not a personal attack

To be fair, it did sound very critical.

However, it sounded or people's take it on it, im telling you that it wasent a personal attack.

Then clarify, if you'd no intention of offending

I do Believe that point has just been clarified

I can see no clarification, or attempt of. Just a blanket “I didn’t mean any offence”

You singled out my comment, an entire section of and said that the behaviour (my behaviour) lacked personal integrity. Couldn’t be any more of a personal attack if you tried.

But

A). I’m not de-railing someone else’s thread

B) your comments say more about you than they do me.

C) thank you to people for the “back-up”

I’m still not cynical - I may have become a little more jaded in the last hour though. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I'd describe myself as a cynical optimist

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is cynical being used to mean untrusting of people?

Can I be both cynical and trusting? Hope for the best, prepare for the worst ?

A realist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As regards to trusting what people say thats up to me. Never take any word on here serious even those who claim forthrighteous.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread