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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mostly they’re for having a laugh but sometimes there are sensible threads and on the whole people keep the balance well

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Thank goodness for the nightly Nocturnal Thread. It's a personification of inclusivity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like some of the advice like threads.

I do try not to be an arse to anyone. I no doubt have been at some point. I try to give a balanced viewpoint on different situations relating to their question. I think people forget to be kind sometimes.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level? "

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

"

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't take it seriously, I don't see how people can.

I do know if I'm having a rubbish day I'll stay away, or leave.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level? "

Agreed that some take it too seriously. Platinum clique membership is £69.69p. Send a cheque to "Naomilatte, Sydney University, Australia" and we will sort it

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

Agreed that some take it too seriously. Platinum clique membership is £69.69p. Send a cheque to "Naomilatte, Sydney University, Australia" and we will sort it "

Cheap! Cheque in the post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

"

I get people will say if you're struggling speak out. And I fully agree. You should.

I just don't think the forums on a swinging site is the place to do it. I've done semi serious threads before and I know people will take the piss and be sarcastic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site "

See I differ here. People do not have access to these health care professionals that you talk of. There are many posts here that are none “sex site” related.

Exactly if you have nothing to say don’t comment. But I go back to my original post, the need to highjack posts. Sarcastic or rude comments when someone is in a bad place are amplified a thousand fold. For all the positive posts they see the negative

Surely allowing someone to voice here is better than them feeling they have no where to voice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

Agreed that some take it too seriously. Platinum clique membership is £69.69p. Send a cheque to "Naomilatte, Sydney University, Australia" and we will sort it "

I feel you are getting confused with the metal clique membership, the platinum membership is £800.85

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

See I differ here. People do not have access to these health care professionals that you talk of. There are many posts here that are none “sex site” related.

Exactly if you have nothing to say don’t comment. But I go back to my original post, the need to highjack posts. Sarcastic or rude comments when someone is in a bad place are amplified a thousand fold. For all the positive posts they see the negative

Surely allowing someone to voice here is better than them feeling they have no where to voice "

There are charities, and most employers will provide a service you can attend.

This site is not for things like that. Agreed, talking is good, but you're not going to get the advice required, into a very serious subject, here.

As for a clique, I hear this a lot, but I have yet to see evidence that a random bunch of people on a swingers site, have some sort of control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site "

There are a few mental health professionals on here who I see offering advice

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…"

Often, I think that people can be a little over sensitive at times.

A large number of posters on any forum just want to be funny, but on here there is also the obvious desire to interact with those they find attractive... this can mean others get overlooked.

Whilst I personally have never found the forums to be cliquey, there are definitely people who are "forum favourites"... but that is because they have spent a lot of time posting either funny or interesting stuff.

The best way to get interaction on the forums, is to keep posting. Either post something helpful, interesting, or funny and you will soon get noticed. Even better, start threads of your own to get people posting... just avoid being negative or repeating the same old "games".

Cal

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

There are a few mental health professionals on here who I see offering advice "

This is good, but should be done privately, so that communication can be serious and focused. The forum can be a brutal place for the uninitiated

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

See I differ here. People do not have access to these health care professionals that you talk of. There are many posts here that are none “sex site” related.

Exactly if you have nothing to say don’t comment. But I go back to my original post, the need to highjack posts. Sarcastic or rude comments when someone is in a bad place are amplified a thousand fold. For all the positive posts they see the negative

Surely allowing someone to voice here is better than them feeling they have no where to voice

There are charities, and most employers will provide a service you can attend.

This site is not for things like that. Agreed, talking is good, but you're not going to get the advice required, into a very serious subject, here.

As for a clique, I hear this a lot, but I have yet to see evidence that a random bunch of people on a swingers site, have some sort of control. "

Seeking advice is one thing. Wanting to express you’re having a crap day is another. The forums are full of posts expressing they aren’t having the best of days/times, lack of confidence etc

My point is that if someone is posting that why is there a need for negative and sarcastic comments?

Do people really think they are helpful?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

See I differ here. People do not have access to these health care professionals that you talk of. There are many posts here that are none “sex site” related.

Exactly if you have nothing to say don’t comment. But I go back to my original post, the need to highjack posts. Sarcastic or rude comments when someone is in a bad place are amplified a thousand fold. For all the positive posts they see the negative

Surely allowing someone to voice here is better than them feeling they have no where to voice

There are charities, and most employers will provide a service you can attend.

This site is not for things like that. Agreed, talking is good, but you're not going to get the advice required, into a very serious subject, here.

As for a clique, I hear this a lot, but I have yet to see evidence that a random bunch of people on a swingers site, have some sort of control.

Seeking advice is one thing. Wanting to express you’re having a crap day is another. The forums are full of posts expressing they aren’t having the best of days/times, lack of confidence etc

My point is that if someone is posting that why is there a need for negative and sarcastic comments?

Do people really think they are helpful?"

I get it bud. The biggest problem is that a huge thread is unlikely to be read from end to end, and people will jump in with a comment that makes sense at the time, but not to the wider conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a place full of humans. And sometimes humans want to talk about serious stuff or reach out for help. If this isn't for you - there are literally dozens of light hearted threads a day to join.

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By *omesticflightMan
over a year ago

Burton-on-Trent

Just reminds me of school tbh. Weak patter, dull uninspired banter, wobbly critical-thinking, socioculturally politically ignorant - from what one could expect to be a pretty progressive imaginative community

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From someone who has been on and off this site and the forums for a few years now I find that there are a couple of people will have to post something snarky or shitty on the posts of the fab- non elite. There are also those stood by clutching their copy of the Collins Dictionary to point out and ridicule any misspells, typos or grammatical errors. Some arses on here never were able to match that "legendry" status they had back in year 11 in everyday life so live out their glory days here. I tend to just ignore their comments and they ignore mine if they actually post a thread of their own instead of hijacking others. There are some regular formites that are amazing, inclusive and fun. They're the ones I'm interested in reading x

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I dont care if theres cliques or not im only here to expel my brain discharge

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i dont know if there are cliques tbh,, but if there is fuck them right off

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

See I differ here. People do not have access to these health care professionals that you talk of. There are many posts here that are none “sex site” related.

Exactly if you have nothing to say don’t comment. But I go back to my original post, the need to highjack posts. Sarcastic or rude comments when someone is in a bad place are amplified a thousand fold. For all the positive posts they see the negative

Surely allowing someone to voice here is better than them feeling they have no where to voice

There are charities, and most employers will provide a service you can attend.

This site is not for things like that. Agreed, talking is good, but you're not going to get the advice required, into a very serious subject, here.

As for a clique, I hear this a lot, but I have yet to see evidence that a random bunch of people on a swingers site, have some sort of control. "

Over the years I have received advice about serious subjects from here. there is such a large spectrum of people on fab and it never hurts to ask, as long as you are prepared for the useless answers as well as the helpful ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

There are a few mental health professionals on here who I see offering advice

This is good, but should be done privately, so that communication can be serious and focused. The forum can be a brutal place for the uninitiated "

You can't dictate how other people use the forums.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

I think you're conflating two separate things. I'm not trying to dismiss or diminish it but yes, threads get hijacked and derailed for a quick laugh. It's disappointing but to borrow an expression when people show you who they are, believe them.

It's completely random how a topic will go but it doesn't take much for a post to go sideways. There's loads of times I have to count to ten when I read a comment and I go to respond.....

You can have some very interesting exchanges and conversations but it can also be trite, banal and attention seeking. Some one might try to get attention with a considered reply, whereas another might just show their ass.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I don't put any importance on my threads or posts. Sometimes they get replies other times they don't. Similarly I will respond to a post or thread that interests me. There are some people I avoid but mostly I respond to the post not the poster.

There are several different cliques here. They are just circles of people who know each other.some are very established over years. And yes there are WhatsApp groups. Just forget all of that. This is not high school. Noone will be liked by everyone and noone will be hated by everyone. Just have fun, and when the fun stops, stop!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to be honest and say I've seen the forums far less inclusive than they currently are. I've been hanging around here far too many years.

Yes there are always people who post more regularly or those who know each other but most people are not fuckwits. Most are friendly.

Over the years I've seen so many people who are struggling and I've seen outpourings of support, compassion, care, good advice and warmth. There are some really good eggs here.

In general I have the belief that you can't take this place seriously. It's strangers on the Internet, but you do need to be mindful that for some, surrounded by strangers on the Internet is where they feel most comfortable.

In terms of threads, I reply where I'm interested, it's not about the poster.

I try to be nice to people and welcoming.

I can be guilty of stating threads and just leaving them sometimes, but other times I try to respond to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like seeing, reading and contributing to all kinds of different topics. I appreciate ones that aren't always about who's got the sexiest whatever, or what's your best sex move...

I do kind of agree that this isn't the best place for someone to post about their mental health, because it's an open forum where you can't gage what the responses will be and could make someone feel 10 times worse.

I do think though, taking the piss when someone is struggling is a fucked up thing to do, but, we can't control what others do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am just me I bubbly float around the place without a filter

I put down what’s on my mind about the topic at hand and try my best to reply to those that have responded

I do sometimes miss replies ever now and then as I only check back in on threads in the first hour off posting or in less they get bumped back to the top

When I do threads I do reply to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like seeing, reading and contributing to all kinds of different topics. I appreciate ones that aren't always about who's got the sexiest whatever, or what's your best sex move...

I do kind of agree that this isn't the best place for someone to post about their mental health, because it's an open forum where you can't gage what the responses will be and could make someone feel 10 times worse.

I do think though, taking the piss when someone is struggling is a fucked up thing to do, but, we can't control what others do."

*gauge not gage.

Although that looked like gouge.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I find this all very interesting. Thank you for all who have replied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

"

Interesting, only yesterday Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders commented in a similar vein re Sinead O'Connor, I'll quote some of it:

'I was also at the Bob Dylan tribute. I listened to her sing Dylan’s I Believe In You at rehearsals. It was absolutely breathtaking and I couldn’t wait to hear her sing it on the night. But when she heard a few people booing in the audience (many were cheering but I guess she only heard the detractors) she apparently just couldn’t start the song. Booker-T’s hands hovered over the keyboards while everyone waited for her to start singing. Instead she pulled out her in-ear monitors, and went into an unaccompanied version of a Bob Marley song.'

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Threads often take a life of their own, OP, or go off on tangents away from the original post. I think that's quite fun. My advice is don't sweat it. If it's your thread you can always try to bring it back with your replies to people.

On that specific thread you're talking about, I saw literally ONE sarcastic (and stupid, frankly) comment, which everyone said was inappropriate, but the rest of the thread was very supportive I thought...

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

If I ever felt that there was even a hint of malicious intent behind the words I write on a forum full of strangers, most of whom I will never meet, I would genuinely delete my profile here. I would never want to be that person.

The humour around the lounge is a welcome break from the usual, I find. This place can be awful for mental health; a lighter tone is sometimes essential.

Having said that, if a thread was specifically about mental health? Wouldn't make a joke unless everyone was in on it. If a thread is sex related? It's fair game. Sex is ridiculous and you all know it. I mean, have you seen balls? They're hilarious.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"If I ever felt that there was even a hint of malicious intent behind the words I write on a forum full of strangers, most of whom I will never meet, I would genuinely delete my profile here. I would never want to be that person.

The humour around the lounge is a welcome break from the usual, I find. This place can be awful for mental health; a lighter tone is sometimes essential.

Having said that, if a thread was specifically about mental health? Wouldn't make a joke unless everyone was in on it. If a thread is sex related? It's fair game. Sex is ridiculous and you all know it. I mean, have you seen balls? They're hilarious.

"

You're a good man Caffeine, a good man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a clique of sorts in the past; people who chatted off-Fab and, as a group, targeted other members in the Forum for ridicule because someone in the group had voiced their displeasure at another Forum member or their thread.

There was also a former Forum chap, whose profile has been deleted, who would ask some of the women to whom he was chatting, to post in threads on his behalf to boost his own image. I’d say he had a clique of sorts, albeit he was chatting to the women individually.

These are what I’ve seen evidence of myself, from those involved.

Miles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I ever felt that there was even a hint of malicious intent behind the words I write on a forum full of strangers, most of whom I will never meet, I would genuinely delete my profile here. I would never want to be that person.

The humour around the lounge is a welcome break from the usual, I find. This place can be awful for mental health; a lighter tone is sometimes essential.

Having said that, if a thread was specifically about mental health? Wouldn't make a joke unless everyone was in on it. If a thread is sex related? It's fair game. Sex is ridiculous and you all know it. I mean, have you seen balls? They're hilarious.

"

I bet you have lovely balls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…"

Very apparent daily! .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

Agreed that some take it too seriously. Platinum clique membership is £69.69p. Send a cheque to "Naomilatte, Sydney University, Australia" and we will sort it "

I sent a cheque but nothing heard back, shall I just send another?

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

I am known to spout alot of shit here. I just message what I like and enjoy it. That said, I've tried to people I have cared about too. You can care about people here. I think if everyone just wrote what they wanted and tried to let lack of replies escape their mind, they'd have more fun. So many of my posts are just left in the ether of the interwebs, even my serious ones!

There are a lot of people who use this to reveal mental health struggles etc, which we all have some seriously more than others. But you can't 'expect' help here. Even for therapists, remember it's their PAID job to do that. The last thing they want is to be doing it for free because guess what, everyone needs help and it never ends. That sounds really unsympathetic, but it's sadly true. If you are constantly surrounded by depressive things, that's not good for your own mental health.

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By *antric_lover77Woman
over a year ago

south east


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

"

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. It's their way of being bad mannered and think using it as humour it should be accepted in society. I always think if you got nothing nice to say don't say it at all. No need to put other people down. We all have our preferences but to criticise someone when they're feeling low and seeking advice is just cruel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

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By *antric_lover77Woman
over a year ago

south east


"I am known to spout alot of shit here. I just message what I like and enjoy it. That said, I've tried to people I have cared about too. You can care about people here. I think if everyone just wrote what they wanted and tried to let lack of replies escape their mind, they'd have more fun. So many of my posts are just left in the ether of the interwebs, even my serious ones!

There are a lot of people who use this to reveal mental health struggles etc, which we all have some seriously more than others. But you can't 'expect' help here. Even for therapists, remember it's their PAID job to do that. The last thing they want is to be doing it for free because guess what, everyone needs help and it never ends. That sounds really unsympathetic, but it's sadly true. If you are constantly surrounded by depressive things, that's not good for your own mental health."

Some people can't afford therapy or brave enough to get it. Writing anonymous here maybe more helpful.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…"
I comment i rarely read others comments, so i guess I'm not to bothered how my comments perceived

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t. "

Youre not in the clique, pickle. You're in the cabal of dissidents ;-p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t. "

…..but…but….you have an open picnic invitation; how will I know if you want to meet or not?

Miles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a clique not that it bothers us but it definitely exists.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can be vicious on here. Would be nice not to be completely torn apart or ignored but hey ho life goes on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also people shouldn’t mistake being recognised for actually fitting in. Most of us don’t fit in here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People take fab far too seriously. Also, how do I get an upgrade to platinum clique level?

So when someone was saying about PTSD yesterday and how they were feeling, maybe voicing it on whatever platform helps them, sarcastic replies are okay?

If it's a thread I can offer nothing to, I don't reply. I'm not sure this is the place to talk a out PTSD, and I'd hope anybody who has, or feel they have suffered from this, would talk to a health care professional, rather than random people on a sex site

See I differ here. People do not have access to these health care professionals that you talk of. There are many posts here that are none “sex site” related.

Exactly if you have nothing to say don’t comment. But I go back to my original post, the need to highjack posts. Sarcastic or rude comments when someone is in a bad place are amplified a thousand fold. For all the positive posts they see the negative

Surely allowing someone to voice here is better than them feeling they have no where to voice

There are charities, and most employers will provide a service you can attend.

This site is not for things like that. Agreed, talking is good, but you're not going to get the advice required, into a very serious subject, here.

As for a clique, I hear this a lot, but I have yet to see evidence that a random bunch of people on a swingers site, have some sort of control.

Seeking advice is one thing. Wanting to express you’re having a crap day is another. The forums are full of posts expressing they aren’t having the best of days/times, lack of confidence etc

My point is that if someone is posting that why is there a need for negative and sarcastic comments?

Do people really think they are helpful?"

Some people don't think of the impact of their funny/sarcastic words can have in others who are not having a good day.

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By *reative-mindMan
over a year ago

Exeter

As a new poster the forums can seem a bit of a clique, it's frustrating when you post in a thread of a game and get ignored 95% of the time and the same 5 or 6 people are all chatting away.

I did make a thread the other day around my own struggles and asking for advice, everyone was helpful and it wasn't hijacked at all.

I've now just learnt i was taking fab to seriously and putting to much pressure on myself to be like others. I'm now at peace with it all and just here for fun.

I wrote an Article this week that has has 300 views so far but will wrote stuff on here that will be ignored, who's to say who is right or wrong here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People can be vicious on here. Would be nice not to be completely torn apart or ignored but hey ho life goes on "

I honestly don’t know if people have ever considered me/us part of the clique but I was torn to shreds on a thread once. I even managed to get blocked by a few so I wouldn’t take it too personal.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"As a new poster the forums can seem a bit of a clique, it's frustrating when you post in a thread of a game and get ignored 95% of the time and the same 5 or 6 people are all chatting away.

I did make a thread the other day around my own struggles and asking for advice, everyone was helpful and it wasn't hijacked at all.

I've now just learnt i was taking fab to seriously and putting to much pressure on myself to be like others. I'm now at peace with it all and just here for fun.

I wrote an Article this week that has has 300 views so far but will wrote stuff on here that will be ignored, who's to say who is right or wrong here. "

On here you can't see how many times your post has been viewed. Nor an accurate reader of how many times people have read your post and agreed with it.

I think sometimes we forget that just because we don't get a reply, it doesn't mean people haven't read it and enjoyed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t.

Youre not in the clique, pickle. You're in the cabal of dissidents ;-p "

I had to google but it’s on brand for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t.

…..but…but….you have an open picnic invitation; how will I know if you want to meet or not?

Miles"

well if you’ve not blocked me and I’ve not blocked you I likely want to meet you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems."

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…"

There are a few who like to try and provoke an argument,deliberately misinterpreting what you post for example,more the "usual suspects" than an organised clique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place. "

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…"

Youre probably right. But.. Heres the thing. Sometimes its just best to not spend your time in here. Sometimes its kind and conpassionate (usually vag owners), other times it can be rather unnecessarily unkind. The only thing id say is... If you're feeling like a boost to your self confidence or expecting others to write certain things.... Don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first."

People tell me all the time they think things like that about me. Literally the only thing that changes is that the more you post the more recognised you are. But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London


"I am known to spout alot of shit here. I just message what I like and enjoy it. That said, I've tried to people I have cared about too. You can care about people here. I think if everyone just wrote what they wanted and tried to let lack of replies escape their mind, they'd have more fun. So many of my posts are just left in the ether of the interwebs, even my serious ones!

There are a lot of people who use this to reveal mental health struggles etc, which we all have some seriously more than others. But you can't 'expect' help here. Even for therapists, remember it's their PAID job to do that. The last thing they want is to be doing it for free because guess what, everyone needs help and it never ends. That sounds really unsympathetic, but it's sadly true. If you are constantly surrounded by depressive things, that's not good for your own mental health.

Some people can't afford therapy or brave enough to get it. Writing anonymous here maybe more helpful. "

Which I get and that's why it's good to see support given here but getting a few bits of advice from internet strangers is probably not going to help you long term.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first.

People tell me all the time they think things like that about me. Literally the only thing that changes is that the more you post the more recognised you are. But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first "

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first.

People tell me all the time they think things like that about me. Literally the only thing that changes is that the more you post the more recognised you are. But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman "

You're a woman?!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first.

People tell me all the time they think things like that about me. Literally the only thing that changes is that the more you post the more recognised you are. But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman

You're a woman?!!! "

I really need to change our profile pic when we’re not looking to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first.

People tell me all the time they think things like that about me. Literally the only thing that changes is that the more you post the more recognised you are. But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman

You're a woman?!!!

I really need to change our profile pic when we’re not looking to meet "

No, not at all - he has a great ass.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…"

I'm not commenting on the clique.

I try to be mindful of the effect my reply will have on people. I really dislike the way some men are treated when it's clear from their post they're in a bad place.

It's easy to tell people not to take fab too seriously but for the person feeling bad that just dismisses their feelings. Why is the interaction on here any different to actual life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

I think what perhaps is frustrating is the conversations between "friends" which dominate threads. And ignores other people trying to get a word in. Not that people are matey in the first place.

I get that. I was ignored when I first joined but i just carried on posting until people started to recognise me and then the replies came. At least one of the people I talk to regularly has told me they thought I was a complete weirdo at first.

People tell me all the time they think things like that about me. Literally the only thing that changes is that the more you post the more recognised you are. But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman

You're a woman?!!!

I really need to change our profile pic when we’re not looking to meet

No, not at all - he has a great ass. "

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By *reative-mindMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"As a new poster the forums can seem a bit of a clique, it's frustrating when you post in a thread of a game and get ignored 95% of the time and the same 5 or 6 people are all chatting away.

I did make a thread the other day around my own struggles and asking for advice, everyone was helpful and it wasn't hijacked at all.

I've now just learnt i was taking fab to seriously and putting to much pressure on myself to be like others. I'm now at peace with it all and just here for fun.

I wrote an Article this week that has has 300 views so far but will wrote stuff on here that will be ignored, who's to say who is right or wrong here.

On here you can't see how many times your post has been viewed. Nor an accurate reader of how many times people have read your post and agreed with it.

I think sometimes we forget that just because we don't get a reply, it doesn't mean people haven't read it and enjoyed it. "

Yeah you're right and that is maybe a flaw with this now "old fashioned" form of communication. Because people are now so used to having that information readily at hand.

I'd imagine if people did have that info then they'd be less likely to feel "shit" or being ignored.

Like I said once you get past not taking it seriously and not putting pressure on yourself to be like others which I was doing then you see Fab for what it is, a tool or a space for enjoyment in what ever way you want it to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" ... But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman "

It's the thighs in the profile pic, quite clear that you are in an all women rugby team

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" ... But it’s easy for you loads of people probably think you’re a woman at first

That was probably working against me at first. I say some pretty strange things for a woman

It's the thighs in the profile pic, quite clear that you are in an all women rugby team "

I’ve been putting in the work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t.

…..but…but….you have an open picnic invitation; how will I know if you want to meet or not?

Miles"

Oooh I love a picnic

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I think as with anywhere you get some very helpful ,inclusive posters,who are supportive to others.

You also do get the ones who will pick at people ,or hijack threads for their own end/benefit.I don't know if they lack awareness of how they come across or just don't really care.

I just post in the threads I like & try to avoid the ones started to cause division.Then sometimes just take a break from the forums.

I do think men and women are treated differently in the forums too,women mostly get an easier ride of it.

Just my thoughts.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t.

…..but…but….you have an open picnic invitation; how will I know if you want to meet or not?

Miles

Oooh I love a picnic "

You should come!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I have found much more kindness here than hatred. Even when a thread went south I had so much private support that it totally titled the balance to the good. Its such a shame that the bad often sticks out now than the good. As my ex husband used to say one oh shit wipes out 100 attaboys . Don't let it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting to read on a few other posts how the supposed “forum clique” make many others on here feel like crap by high jacking posts, not engaging with people who genuinely try and have an input and make people feel pretty crappy.

The clique will say there is no clique whereas others will say there is.

When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them.

Flak jacket on…

I'm not commenting on the clique.

I try to be mindful of the effect my reply will have on people. I really dislike the way some men are treated when it's clear from their post they're in a bad place.

It's easy to tell people not to take fab too seriously but for the person feeling bad that just dismisses their feelings. Why is the interaction on here any different to actual life? "

Having this problem with fabbers right now op.

We chat but in fact no one knows what that person is going through. I believe that people make assumptions people over generalise. I believe there is a lot of anxiety and depression amongst fab. If people were more kind and mindful and more aware if mental health because it matters here as much as outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my job I work with anxiety, depression, ptsd and I have to always think before I speak or present anything. If I chose wrongly, in speech or presentations that could be a trigger to make them show a behaviour. If I said it correctly and presented well it may not trigger. I learn triggers every day its my job.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems."

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"In my job I work with anxiety, depression, ptsd and I have to always think before I speak or present anything. If I chose wrongly, in speech or presentations that could be a trigger to make them show a behaviour. If I said it correctly and presented well it may not trigger. I learn triggers every day its my job. "

Roy keane said so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In my job I work with anxiety, depression, ptsd and I have to always think before I speak or present anything. If I chose wrongly, in speech or presentations that could be a trigger to make them show a behaviour. If I said it correctly and presented well it may not trigger. I learn triggers every day its my job.

Roy keane said so? "

I am not Roy Keane. I work in mental health and look nothing like Roy Keane. My words not his ty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have experienced many sides of the forum.

I have posted on threads and seen my answers ignored and then seen someone else post roughly the same and be interacted with.

I have done posts where people have posted jokey or sarcastic comments and made me wonder why I have started the thread.

I have done serious posts and have had wonderful supportive replies or messages. I know many say sites like this are not the place for serious health issues but sometimes people need to vent or talk. It does not mean it's their only form of help. And I know well enough it's not the place I would post if on the edge of doing something silly as no one here knows me well enough to be able to help practically

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over


"I have experienced many sides of the forum.

I have posted on threads and seen my answers ignored and then seen someone else post roughly the same and be interacted with.

I have done posts where people have posted jokey or sarcastic comments and made me wonder why I have started the thread.

I have done serious posts and have had wonderful supportive replies or messages. I know many say sites like this are not the place for serious health issues but sometimes people need to vent or talk. It does not mean it's their only form of help. And I know well enough it's not the place I would post if on the edge of doing something silly as no one here knows me well enough to be able to help practically "

A good summary really and very factual. On the whole some people care and some just don't give a damn just like real life. There are definately some who like to instigate controversy and certainly people are treated differently. I am here to pass the time and I don't really care about them as I would not give them a second thought in the real world either. I do however find it disgraceful when they show disrespect either through ridicule or worse to anyone who maybe feeling volnerable in any way. There was a thread the other day that was quite frankly appaling and there is a lot of hypocrisy often as many of those commenting in a 'saintly' manner on this and other threads like this are often the ones who post most disrespectfully towards others. So many have no filter, just spout out anything they like but that is why, as many have said, best thing is to ignore as it is what it is. There arr plenty of gopd threads with good advise or information or indeed good genuine inofensive banter to keep my interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships "

I think saying the wolf pack mentality is purposeful gives them far too much credit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there’s a clique I’m not in it because loads of the popular posters aren’t even quiet about disliking me.

And I don’t care anyway I’m on here to have fun mostly. The people I like I’ll meet. The people I don’t, I won’t.

Youre not in the clique, pickle. You're in the cabal of dissidents ;-p "

Who left?

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

The thread hijacking with abysmal stupidity used to really get on my tits and I used to be vocal about it. That is why many people (including myself, to some extent) really don’t want to start threads.

Now I just scroll past or read another thread. Not worth the hassle really. I’m getting old and need me energy for more important things…

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

Lots of interesting viewpoints

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships "

This isn’t what you said in your OP.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

The first rule of Fab clique….

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

People tend to minimise or even ignore other people's experiences and feelings because they can't or don't want to see things from another perspective. Those people who feel ignored legitimately feel that way because that is their experience of the forums, they are ignored. The people who hijack threads between themselves feel that they are being inclusive, they're getting the interaction they want and don't see it as ignoring anyone, they're just having fun and enjoying it so don't see things from the others perspective.

Those who see people as being in a clique and feel like an outsider, again, that's their experience, there are many cliques here, otherwise known as friendship groups, it's human nature in any environment where there's a lot of people around, certain people gravitate towards each other. It's not done out of malice, it's just the way things happen in life. Obviously those who've formed friendship's with others are going to seek out their posts and make more of an effort to engage with them than someone outside of their friend circle. Those who are in cliques don't see themselves as being in one, why should they? They're really just amongst friends who like to chat to each other.

Some people have the ability to see things from different perspectives and some don't, those who do will try to look at their own behaviour and try to be better, those who can't will double down on their own experiences and act accordingly, which is where a lot of the group think and pile ons occur.

Everyone has their own experiences and expectations of how things should be here, they're all valid if you just look at them from their point of view.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships

This isn’t what you said in your OP. "

“When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them”

I also mentioned the highjacking of posts and later commented on a PTSD post yesterday that received a totally unnecessary reply as well as other posts where people are seemingly “down”

We don’t all have to agree, that’s human nature, but my opinion is definitely not driven from jealousy or being upset by friendship groups

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships

This isn’t what you said in your OP.

“When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them”

I also mentioned the highjacking of posts and later commented on a PTSD post yesterday that received a totally unnecessary reply as well as other posts where people are seemingly “down”

We don’t all have to agree, that’s human nature, but my opinion is definitely not driven from jealousy or being upset by friendship groups

"

Maybe I’m missing something but none of that mentions bullying. I took it as you having a problem with people hijacking threads and leaving others out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The clique are usually too busy with their tongues in each other's virtual holes to post on a serious thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The clique are usually too busy with their tongues in each other's virtual holes to post on a serious thread. "

I’d stick my tongue in your real hole.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships

This isn’t what you said in your OP.

“When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them”

I also mentioned the highjacking of posts and later commented on a PTSD post yesterday that received a totally unnecessary reply as well as other posts where people are seemingly “down”

We don’t all have to agree, that’s human nature, but my opinion is definitely not driven from jealousy or being upset by friendship groups

Maybe I’m missing something but none of that mentions bullying. I took it as you having a problem with people hijacking threads and leaving others out."

By saying making people feel crappy, or knowing the impact your answer can have when you don’t know the type of day someone is having, also mentioning later in the scroll of the PTSD post which did receive a negative reply is me being polite.

Looking at the responses I am pretty sure I am not the only one

Next time, if I do post a next time, I’ll make sure I’m clearer

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Learnt along time ago not to take the forums seriously. Not to place expectations on them, or the people who use them....truth is the forums are a small part of fab....if your basing everything on them, then be prepared to complete p0rnhub, and wank away your finger prints

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think “the clique” is a way for people who already feel isolated on this site to justify their feelings. It’s just people that like each other having a laugh amongst themselves. That’s not a clique it’s friendship.

If strangers on the internet having friends is upsetting you I think you’ve got bigger problems.

Thank you for all the comments.

I have zero problem with people having friends on the internet.

My point is that certain posts take a massive negative turn and sometimes it feels there is a “wolf pack” mentality to it. Once one starts many follow.

Reading these replies it would seem I am not alone in these thoughts

Purposely being negative, narcissistic or in some cases bullying cannot be seen as positive

That is my “bigger problem”, not people having friendships

This isn’t what you said in your OP.

“When you reply in forums do you honestly think what the impact of your answer maybe, no one knows what kind of day someone is having or are forums purely for entertainment and we shouldn’t be seeking any advice from them”

I also mentioned the highjacking of posts and later commented on a PTSD post yesterday that received a totally unnecessary reply as well as other posts where people are seemingly “down”

We don’t all have to agree, that’s human nature, but my opinion is definitely not driven from jealousy or being upset by friendship groups

Maybe I’m missing something but none of that mentions bullying. I took it as you having a problem with people hijacking threads and leaving others out.

By saying making people feel crappy, or knowing the impact your answer can have when you don’t know the type of day someone is having, also mentioning later in the scroll of the PTSD post which did receive a negative reply is me being polite.

Looking at the responses I am pretty sure I am not the only one

Next time, if I do post a next time, I’ll make sure I’m clearer "

I was only responding to the original post.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

In the words of Frank Turner

So before you go out searching

Don't decide what you will find

Be more kind, my friends

Try to be more kind

You should know you're not alone

And that trouble comes, and trouble goes

How this ends, no one knows

So hold on tight when the wind blows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The lack of self awareness and double-standards in some of the se replies is actually shocking.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm really surprised by some people's comments about how this isn't the place and shouldn't be used as such.

It's a public forum, people develope friendships just like any other social media. Sometimes the anonymity means it might feel like the only safe place to express themselves.

The lounge is for pretty much any topic, why should some be out of bounds? If you're only here for the sex side, look in the other sections. Or just scroll by...

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