FabSwingers.com forum: Why oh why

By *amierebel OP Man
over a year ago

nae danger.

Can't I have sex without them catching feelings, I'm very clear on here and any site I may be on that I'm not interested in any form of a relationship but somehow always after intercourse comes the whole "I want you" spiel etc maybe I'm heartless= true, anyone else in same boat though? Why can't there just be meaningless sex ?

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

If you made it clear to them and they knew this! Well you ain't heartless, It was just casual sex.

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By *amierebel OP Man
over a year ago

nae danger.

"If you made it clear to them and they knew this! Well you ain't heartless, It was just casual sex. "

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"If you made it clear to them and they knew this! Well you ain't heartless, It was just casual sex.

True pal, think I just need to stop sleeping with people everyone just seems to be all in there feelings these days, this is like 2nd one In space couple months that's gave me the whole wanting something more wich I'm totally not after I genuinely don't want to do any sort relationship again "
Aww bless! It's their fault not yours. You made it clear to them, Just keep doing what you do so long you make it clear to them. You need to empty your balls you are human

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Maybe you’re just too good at “the sex” OP

In all reality… you need to ensure the person wants what you want. Before you get to the sex. It happens. It’s happened to me a number of times. Treat it gently but make your position known again. And be firm with it. Having feelings for a FB or FWB is natural. Those feelings to be “in love with” not so much

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Story of my life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I like sex that isn't meaningless but that doesn't mean I'm about to fall in love with the person.

I think if you're intimate with someone on a regular basis some feelings become inevitable, the dopamine and oxytocin hits that happen mean we all feel a bit warm and fuzzy.

I'm very much a big softy and I actually love the butterflies and waves of feelings that can and do come at times. It makes things more intense but I'm under no illusions over them.

I guess communication is key.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I don't catch feelings but hate meaningless sex. At least put some effort into a friendship! I don't care who else you sleep with but be consistent with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like intimacy and chemistry but that doesn't mean I want anything more.

I like friendship to an extent with my fun haha.

If you've been clear then it's not your fault, some people are just not always cut out for those types of situations. I think people usually get lust and love, connection and chemistry confused. Having said that you genuinely can't help who you end up feeling something more for. We're human after all and we can be complex.

Good luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pffffttttttt

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Meaningless? Hmm I like the time I spend in someone’s company to mean something, I’d like their time with me to mean something to us both and vice-versa. But that’s me. There’s a difference between affection and being full-blown head over heels and I find the encounters I have on fab with people where a mutual affection is felt, lead the the most amazing experiences, which is why I’m on fab.

Meaningless sex can fulfil an urge but it’s seldom adventurous and exploratory. Horses for courses I guess

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

You shouldn't be such a massive fucking stuD muffin, OP.

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By *antric_lover77Woman
over a year ago

south east

"Can't I have sex without them catching feelings, I'm very clear on here and any site I may be on that I'm not interested in any form of a relationship but somehow always after intercourse comes the whole "I want you" spiel etc maybe I'm heartless= true, anyone else in same boat though? Why can't there just be meaningless sex ? "

Even if you have a one night stand? That's how I get around it lol besides it takes alot for me to think someone is amazing. Surprise you struggle with that, meeting people on fab

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

OP, if you genuinely believe that's happening all the time then it's time to look at the common denominator. Are you a rather affectionate person during sex? Do you meet people more than once and frequently?

If you're really wanting meaningless sex and to avoid repeating those same behaviours playing out, make sure you're very clear in exactly what you want.

One night stands and club visits might also help a lot - it's unlikely anyone will develop feelings for you when they're in a middle of a room filled with people fucking and you're their fourth fuck of the night. Condom yourself from feelings and you'll be fine.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Cmon marry them Op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, your profile suggests you want more, you say "Idealy here trying to find someone for some regular fun times when schedules allow for this", so not surprising they may develop feelings.

Also, are the women you are meeting ones that you've been chatting to for a while, in which case then some form of connection will already have been established.

If you want the casual sex I'd suggest clubs, though some profiles on here are quite clear that they only want one offs - not my thing as I like the banter and connection, and if someone gets on with me we'll enough to have sex with me, I'd like to see her again.

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By *atnayCouple
over a year ago

STEVENAGE

Your not heartless, but maybe that good that they can't get enough.

Happily married here. But meaningless sex isn't a turn on. Chemistry and attraction is essential. But that's a lust thing, often confused with love. I have FWBs. We stay in touch and see each other from time to time in clubs. The attraction and chems is there, but my hubby holds my heart.

As others have said. Stick to clubs for a while. Safer bet.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

You just gotta be a bit mean. You’re not sleeping in their wet patch for them

or making them tea after are you ? This will make them all fuzzy headed.

Take advice from sone of the successful women on here. They just say ‘get out’ once you’ve come

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I did that x 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's natural to develop some sort of feelings and attachment when being intimate with the same person on a regular basis.

It's knowing that can happen and both people managing it is the key to successful long term friendships without it having to be some grande love affair.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

O.P.

Have you made it clear on your profile that you want strictly NO STRINGS ATTACHED meets and that there is no hope whatsoever of a second , third or more meets and that no emotional moves would be made during your one off meet or do you lure meets in with sweet talk, flattery and hope.

Also do you carefully vet the people you are meeting for one off sex and take the time to ensure that they are not emotionally needy ?

Do you block their number after( telling them that you will ) or keep your responses short and to the point so as not to give off a willing vibe ?

You'd have much more success at no

strings attached if you did.

Note to ALL men. If you act like a potential boyfriend when you are fishing you are going to catch something you cant shake off easily ... but remember you set the bait and the rules from the start.........

Or do you ?

Not getting sex must be better than coming over as someone who attempts to make the other appear hapless so that they can portray themselves as desirable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't catch feelings but hate meaningless sex. At least put some effort into a friendship! I don't care who else you sleep with but be consistent with me. "

this

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Cause you're such a fucking catch that's why! I'm already feeling like going to Disneyland with you and I've only just seen you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You shouldn't be such a massive fucking stuD muffin, OP. "

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Are you a good shag OP? They might be dickmatised.

Never underestimate the power of a good shagger!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Actions speak louder than words op.

How are you making it clear that it's meaningless?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you a good shag OP? They might be dickmatised.

Never underestimate the power of a good shagger! "

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

Not everyone is wired to just walk away and it can be hard for some people.

It is important to be honest with people about what you are after. If they choose to disregard your motives, there's nothing you can do and it's not your fault.

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By *amierebel OP Man
over a year ago

nae danger.

Appreciated all responses here and on messages from everyone including the sarcastic funny seeking ones, it's definitely something I'm going to have to look closer to home at as it's obviously something to do with my approach, might even need start booking there taxi in advance that way there's no after sex cuddles or that but I genuinely understand this is me, again thank you all for giving me different perspectives to think about

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Maybe you are attracted to needy people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I like sex that isn't meaningless but that doesn't mean I'm about to fall in love with the person.

I think if you're intimate with someone on a regular basis some feelings become inevitable, the dopamine and oxytocin hits that happen mean we all feel a bit warm and fuzzy.

I'm very much a big softy and I actually love the butterflies and waves of feelings that can and do come at times. It makes things more intense but I'm under no illusions over them.

I guess communication is key. "

This is me.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Have you tried telling them you have a discharge problem the next day?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

On a serious note OP I sometimes have the same problem, it's the downside to being awesome I guess

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

OP, what are we saying about Disneyland. I wanna meet Daisy Duck though!

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

Spider catching is certainly a "boyfriend" activity, can't go about offering this to your casual lays

Mixed messages are mixed.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"Spider catching is certainly a "boyfriend" activity, can't go about offering this to your casual lays

Mixed messages are mixed."

I'll clean your cobwebs

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By *amierebel OP Man
over a year ago

nae danger.

I mean I guess unless you're a man who's afraid of spiders, little spoiler here aswell I'm not actually a professional at it and people I've met recently ain't from on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh.."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh.."

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh.."

some power in that cock beware

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh.."

Damn. We’ve been outed!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh..

Damn. We’ve been outed! "

Women and those feels damn you all

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

count yourself lucky

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

in your dreams mate

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh.."
Guys can catch feelings! So it depends on the individual not understanding. You being sexist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh.."

Women eh

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh..

Women eh

Damn yous! Damn yous all to hell!

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I like to wear a garlic necklace when having sex. Keeps them women at bay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feelings are a very dangerous item if only one has them towards the other person, a man can separate love & Sex but a woman can't... feelings...its dodgy ground tbh..

Women eh

Damn yous! Damn yous all to hell! "

Agreed. We’re the worst!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delilah?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I like to wear a garlic necklace when having sex. Keeps them women at bay. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Da fuck is going on now

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Da fuck is going on now

Motto of the forum

"Previously on The Lounge"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Da fuck is going on now

Motto of the forum

"Previously on The Lounge" "

My eyeballs hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to wear a garlic necklace when having sex. Keeps them women at bay. "

Or entices them in with their warm buttered baguette, rub that garlic on me, Oh Yes.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I like to wear a garlic necklace when having sex. Keeps them women at bay.

Or entices them in with their warm buttered baguette, rub that garlic on me, Oh Yes. "

Mid shag snacks, I like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's because since lockdown this site has become an extension of POF. It used to be a swinging site but now there are more and moreover people looking for Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies etc. You know what that leads to.... Feels

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"It's because since lockdown this site has become an extension of POF. It used to be a swinging site but now there are more and moreover people looking for Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies etc. You know what that leads to.... Feels"
You can have FWB without wanting a relationship? "Friend" being a key word.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

It does doesn't it? I love a bit a mutual feeling up.

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