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D. | |||
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F | |||
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"On a Monday? Morning? Are you mad? "I'm not mad, my mother had me tested. | |||
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"I’m going to start sending a ‘where’s Willy’ pic to get the flutters! That will do the trick
D."I saw it! Do I win? | |||
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"Let's meet at Scotch Corner, far left of the car park and I'll show you a good time
F"Well that'll be the new dogging spot for the garrison sorted then! | |||
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"Let's meet at Scotch Corner, far left of the car park and I'll show you a good time
F"So same place as last time? I'll bring the wipes. | |||
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Also. Don’t guys just get boners? | |||
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"You all suck" Nipples for a living. It's a hard job but someone's gotta do it. F | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " I would love to send you some filthy message op, but unfortunately I can't send you a private message, and it has to be private as it's pur filth lol x | |||
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"You all suck" Yes we know, that's your fantasy | |||
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"I’m going to start sending a ‘where’s Willy’ pic to get the flutters! That will do the trick
D.
I saw it! Do I win?"
You get a badge!! And some eyewash 
D. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? " Backlit black & white naked coffee drinking video w/climax (sound on)  | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " You on a leash. Me holding it. Nice hotel room, big shower. You against the wall, knelt, with me holding your hands in the air. Open up. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " You have a vagina and a pulse, I have a cock and irregular heartbeat, let's see which goes off bang first... | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? Backlit black & white naked coffee drinking video w/climax (sound on) "Curious to know what a coffee climax is? | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? Backlit black & white naked coffee drinking video w/climax (sound on)
Curious to know what a coffee climax is? "Loud and grunty, usually.  | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " What would I send to procure arousal in a woman? Fuck knows. I mean, obviously not a dick pic. Maybe a short story about a fantasy scenario involving a rescue from the rain. That one has worked in the past. Or the one about strangers in a hotel bar which also has had decent results. The equivalent of fanny flutters? A lazy lob I guess. | |||
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"That seems like an awful lot of effort for a Monday morning. I'll pass, at least until after coffee, depends what mood people have me in by then. Alfeady it's not looking hopeful. " Exactly what I was thinking... but I'm changing not hopeful to very unlikely. | |||
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"That seems like an awful lot of effort for a Monday morning. I'll pass, at least until after coffee, depends what mood people have me in by then. Alfeady it's not looking hopeful. Exactly what I was thinking... but I'm changing not hopeful to very unlikely." Urgh people! Right? | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? Backlit black & white naked coffee drinking video w/climax (sound on)
Curious to know what a coffee climax is?
Loud and grunty, usually.
" | |||
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"You all suck" That not in my profile actually….. | |||
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"That seems like an awful lot of effort for a Monday morning. I'll pass, at least until after coffee, depends what mood people have me in by then. Alfeady it's not looking hopeful. Exactly what I was thinking... but I'm changing not hopeful to very unlikely. Urgh people! Right? " You said it bruv | |||
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"That seems like an awful lot of effort for a Monday morning. I'll pass, at least until after coffee, depends what mood people have me in by then. Alfeady it's not looking hopeful. Exactly what I was thinking... but I'm changing not hopeful to very unlikely. Urgh people! Right? You said it bruv" I'm actually offended by the fact I just used bruv. Even in jest. I apologise. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " I’d send a pic of a fillet o’ fish or kfc equivalent and a pint of cider indicating what exciting times lay ahead……now if kfc don’t do it she obviously doesn’t do fanny flutters…. | |||
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"That seems like an awful lot of effort for a Monday morning. I'll pass, at least until after coffee, depends what mood people have me in by then. Alfeady it's not looking hopeful. Exactly what I was thinking... but I'm changing not hopeful to very unlikely. Urgh people! Right? You said it bruv I'm actually offended by the fact I just used bruv. Even in jest. I apologise."  I'm not impressed and extremely disappointed in you as much as our friendly OP is those things with men. | |||
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"Ok then first off all you need to not move out off bed all day Let me grab your favourite movies and tv shows Next up your favourite snacks And you sit back and watch As I do all the house work for to day After I am finished doing that I will sit and join you in watching movies and pigging out on snacks Then I go run you a lovely bath or go turn the shower on for you While I oder you favourite take away then we sit and eat that and after I will give you a lovely back rub and stroke your hair as we snuggle "I think she shaves…… | |||
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"That seems like an awful lot of effort for a Monday morning. I'll pass, at least until after coffee, depends what mood people have me in by then. Alfeady it's not looking hopeful. Exactly what I was thinking... but I'm changing not hopeful to very unlikely. Urgh people! Right? You said it bruv I'm actually offended by the fact I just used bruv. Even in jest. I apologise. I'm not impressed and extremely disappointed in you as much as our friendly OP is those things with men. "So... I'm more disappointed in me than you are then...  | |||
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so sorry i cant help with an answer  | |||
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"Ok then first off all you need to not move out off bed all day Let me grab your favourite movies and tv shows Next up your favourite snacks And you sit back and watch As I do all the house work for to day After I am finished doing that I will sit and join you in watching movies and pigging out on snacks Then I go run you a lovely bath or go turn the shower on for you While I oder you favourite take away then we sit and eat that and after I will give you a lovely back rub and stroke your hair as we snuggle
I think she shaves……"Ha ha definitely was one out off left feild there | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " Think you’ve seen all I have to offer, I’m out of tricks | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " Meet me at Penrith for a fingerbang and a pasty in the car?? Oooh i think i heard the fanny flutters… or someone started a mini digger in the next field!! | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong " Why didn’t you post that at the top….I’ve just laid my self bare and now feel abused…. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! I’d send a pic of a fillet o’ fish or kfc equivalent and a pint of cider indicating what exciting times lay ahead……now if kfc don’t do it she obviously doesn’t do fanny flutters…." Now if it was Spar 3ltrs Gentleman Jack Cider £2.99 (9.8%abv) i think she’d have been on your cock like a d*unk lesbian on a cake!  | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong Why didn’t you post that at the top….I’ve just laid my self bare and now feel abused…." Same. I got fucked over. Wasted some of my sexy thoughts for nothing but an ignored/delete.
*blocks and moves on | |||
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"‘Here puss puss’ *rubs thumb and index finger together * ‘Here puss puss puss, daddy has tuna for you’" Is it a fishy penis? Urgh....I mean the wife is hot....fine, I'm still in | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong " You kiddin? This is my time to shine now you sexy men are playing games! | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong Why didn’t you post that at the top….I’ve just laid my self bare and now feel abused…." I've only just seen the thread, I apologise | |||
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"‘Here puss puss’ *rubs thumb and index finger together * ‘Here puss puss puss, daddy has tuna for you’" Golden rule …never mention puss and fish in same sentence….. | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong " What is *WRONG* with you these days? You used to be so willing to smut it up... and now... now...  | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong You kiddin? This is my time to shine now you sexy men are playing games!" I'm very serious, it's the way it is now Brucey | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! I’d send a pic of a fillet o’ fish or kfc equivalent and a pint of cider indicating what exciting times lay ahead……now if kfc don’t do it she obviously doesn’t do fanny flutters…. Now if it was Spar 3ltrs Gentleman Jack Cider £2.99 (9.8%abv) i think she’d have been on your cock like a d*unk lesbian on a cake! "Oh dear what do you want on your head stone… | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong What is *WRONG* with you these days? You used to be so willing to smut it up... and now... now... "I know, I reckon it must be my age or something | |||
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Are you moist? | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong What is *WRONG* with you these days? You used to be so willing to smut it up... and now... now...
I know, I reckon it must be my age or something "I think you should sit in the corner and think carefully about what you've done. (I'm going to sit in the corner and think carefully about what the younger you did. He was more fun ) | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong What is *WRONG* with you these days? You used to be so willing to smut it up... and now... now...
I know, I reckon it must be my age or something
I think you should sit in the corner and think carefully about what you've done.
(I'm going to sit in the corner and think carefully about what the younger you did. He was more fun )"That's not going to happen and you can still see my smut anyway, it's just the general public perverts that can't now | |||
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"Don't do it guys, keep the smut hidden and stay strong What is *WRONG* with you these days? You used to be so willing to smut it up... and now... now...
I know, I reckon it must be my age or something
I think you should sit in the corner and think carefully about what you've done.
(I'm going to sit in the corner and think carefully about what the younger you did. He was more fun )"Be nice to him! He is dki G what is right. Standing up for a just cause that is not taken seriously enough. | |||
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"Mmmmm Lilith, mmmmm you're so hot mmmm. Show me how you finger your tight little cunt mmmmm. Like that??
Are you moist?"…..
Hello!!!!!!! | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! I’d send a pic of a fillet o’ fish or kfc equivalent and a pint of cider indicating what exciting times lay ahead……now if kfc don’t do it she obviously doesn’t do fanny flutters…. Now if it was Spar 3ltrs Gentleman Jack Cider £2.99 (9.8%abv) i think she’d have been on your cock like a d*unk lesbian on a cake!
Oh dear what do you want on your head stone…"I thumb my nose at the peril… and laugh in the face of danger!! Can I have ‘ here lies Todgermoore - deflowerer of virgins and lover of women… cut down in his prime….now move your foot its on my balls!!’ | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! I’d send a pic of a fillet o’ fish or kfc equivalent and a pint of cider indicating what exciting times lay ahead……now if kfc don’t do it she obviously doesn’t do fanny flutters…. Now if it was Spar 3ltrs Gentleman Jack Cider £2.99 (9.8%abv) i think she’d have been on your cock like a d*unk lesbian on a cake!
Oh dear what do you want on your head stone…
I thumb my nose at the peril… and laugh in the face of danger!!
Can I have ‘ here lies Todgermoore - deflowerer of virgins and lover of women… cut down in his prime….now move your foot its on my balls!!’ "Chisels furiously….. | |||
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"Remember: no reply is a reply. " Now that cuts deep!!!! | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith." Women don’t want smut. I asked them the other day. | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith." Good! | |||
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"Mmmmm Lilith, mmmmm you're so hot mmmm. Show me how you finger your tight little cunt mmmmm. Like that??
Are you moist?
…..
Hello!!!!!!! "Do you think she's stroking one off to this? I put a lot of effort into it. Mmmmm... | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. Women don’t want smut. I asked them the other day. " Some of us like a little bit of it occasionally. | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. Good! " The pictures are back! That’ll do | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " You make my dick twitch | |||
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"Some of us like a little bit of it occasionally." Some of you like a lot of it. And I mean a *lot*. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! " Slide your hand down... | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith." Hey I did ok above! Same applies to you. Look up at me while you're on your knees ok? | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. Women don’t want smut. I asked them the other day. Some of us like a little bit of it occasionally." Not all women etc etc. But nearly all | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. Good! The pictures are back! That’ll do "Only the none smut! The smutty ones reserved for the perviest of pervs! Okay they are not that smutty even then, but still. Not for GenPop! | |||
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Hang on… Mills & Boon are on the other line!!! …phoneline i mean!! I don’t expect she’ll answer- hard to type with both hands in the floof!! | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters?" • I wouldn't message you.  | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. " She doesn't like compliments. But it's a solid effort! | |||
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"Mmmmm Lilith, mmmmm you're so hot mmmm. Show me how you finger your tight little cunt mmmmm. Like that??
Are you moist?"Erm..... | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith." You mean men are all talk? I'm shocked. | |||
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"Remember: no reply is a reply. " I'm meant to reply?? | |||
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"I do think 'smut' should be a more commonplace word than it is nowadays. In the late 20th century smut was everywhere! "Oh hello. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! You make my dick twitch "That'll be the crabs. | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. You mean men are all talk? I'm shocked." What I love most about you is how your attitude only makes me want to fuck you harder | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? • I wouldn't message you. "Brutal. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! You on a leash. Me holding it. Nice hotel room, big shower. You against the wall, knelt, with me holding your hands in the air. Open up." I missed this! This'll do, this'll do..... | |||
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"Mmmmm Lilith, mmmmm you're so hot mmmm. Show me how you finger your tight little cunt mmmmm. Like that??
Are you moist?
…..
Hello!!!!!!!
Do you think she's stroking one off to this?
I put a lot of effort into it.
Mmmmm..."I was stroking one off to it.
Mmmmmmmmm mmmmm mmmmm
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. She doesn't like compliments. But it's a solid effort!" Fine, Ryan and the cake can go home | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! You on a leash. Me holding it. Nice hotel room, big shower. You against the wall, knelt, with me holding your hands in the air. Open up. I missed this! This'll do, this'll do....." Try not to make the carpet too messy ok? | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. " I'll take this! Can we swap cake for hash browns though? | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. You mean men are all talk? I'm shocked. What I love most about you is how your attitude only makes me want to fuck you harder "So you say brucey, so you say. They all say that .... | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! You make my dick twitch
That'll be the crabs."You have pets?  | |||
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"There’s a real lack of smut here. I’m disappointed for you Lilith. You mean men are all talk? I'm shocked. What I love most about you is how your attitude only makes me want to fuck you harder
So you say brucey, so you say.
They all say that ...."Oh you're gonna be such a mess.... | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. I'll take this! Can we swap cake for hash browns though? " From behind his back he produces a basket of hash browns... Smiling seductively as he rolls one down his chest | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. I'll take this! Can we swap cake for hash browns though? From behind his back he produces a basket of hash browns... Smiling seductively as he rolls one down his chest " Can I have the cake instead? | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. I'll take this! Can we swap cake for hash browns though? From behind his back he produces a basket of hash browns... Smiling seductively as he rolls one down his chest Can I have the cake instead? " No, he dropped the cake on the floor when he got the hash browns You try and salvage what's left if you like | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. I'll take this! Can we swap cake for hash browns though? From behind his back he produces a basket of hash browns... Smiling seductively as he rolls one down his chest " I'm done... | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! You make my dick twitch
That'll be the crabs.
You have pets? "I do, and I'm willing to share them. | |||
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"Ryan Reynolds... In nothing but a mostly unbuttoned white shirt and crisp CK underwear barely hiding his throbbing excitement Walking towards you holding a cake with "Lilith is pretty" written in the frosting. I'll take this! Can we swap cake for hash browns though? From behind his back he produces a basket of hash browns... Smiling seductively as he rolls one down his chest Can I have the cake instead? No, he dropped the cake on the floor when he got the hash browns You try and salvage what's left if you like " Urgh, ruined cake. I'll take a pass on that too. | |||
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"Mmmmm Lilith, mmmmm you're so hot mmmm. Show me how you finger your tight little cunt mmmmm. Like that??
Are you moist?
Erm....."Think I'm in here, boys! *clears throat* mmmmMMMMmmmm you saucy little thing you. Let me run my tongue up your slit thingy, where that whatsit is mmmmmmm. I'll suck it and sniff it and mark it with pee mmmmmm...mmmm..mm.m | |||
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"Mmmmm Lilith, mmmmm you're so hot mmmm. Show me how you finger your tight little cunt mmmmm. Like that??
Are you moist?
Erm.....
Think I'm in here, boys!
*clears throat*
mmmmMMMMmmmm you saucy little thing you. Let me run my tongue up your slit thingy, where that whatsit is mmmmmmm.
I'll suck it and sniff it and mark it with pee mmmmmm...mmmm..mm.m
"Nanna how many brandy's have we had today? | |||
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"No. I don't like this. You and Brucey are far too alike today." Awww this is almost sweet. We would make a perfect couple in a hotel room. And I don't believe you wouldnt accept a spare hotel key card | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? What's the male equivalent of fanny flutters?? Dick twitch? Either way....show me the smut!! You make my dick twitch
That'll be the crabs.
You have pets?
I do, and I'm willing to share them. "Meh, still would | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? • I wouldn't message you.
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Brutal."• But un-ingratiatingly honest. | |||
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"Stand back - incoming sexiness!! Hey lilith…. Imagine a seductively lit room, candles, rose petals on the bed, champagne cooling in the bucket, Slipknot on the smart speaker… me standing in the flickering candlelight wearing my spongebob boxers.. you getting a migraine with the flickering light… i move like a sexual panther across the room towards you seductively fixing your gaze and find an abandoned piece of lego near the bed…as I scream in agony i lurch forward - you scream as I fall on you… and we tumble onto the bed - you’ve dropped your half eaten pot noodle bad boy on the covers but we are overcome with lust to be bothered… my urgent tongue like a thirsty labrador explores your mouth while a hand gently strokes you hair.. like you would with a guide dog as my other hand rummages up inside your duffel coat…. It looks You have had a multiple orgasm and soaked the bed.. as you lie still with your eyes fixed on the ceiling… turns out you tasered yourself and your orangina has leaked in your pocket….this could be the start if something beautiful!!! "Not the first time that's happened | |||
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"No. I don't like this. You and Brucey are far too alike today." I'll do I hate men thread later. For balance. | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? • I wouldn't message you.
·
Brutal.
•
But un-ingratiatingly honest."True. | |||
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"No. I don't like this. You and Brucey are far too alike today. Awww this is almost sweet. We would make a perfect couple in a hotel room. And I don't believe you wouldnt accept a spare hotel key card " You'd be great together as long as she doesn't end up chucking a hairdryer in to the bath. With you in it. There's a high probability of this happening. | |||
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"Stand back - incoming sexiness!! Hey lilith…. Imagine a seductively lit room, candles, rose petals on the bed, champagne cooling in the bucket, Slipknot on the smart speaker… me standing in the flickering candlelight wearing my spongebob boxers.. you getting a migraine with the flickering light… i move like a sexual panther across the room towards you seductively fixing your gaze and find an abandoned piece of lego near the bed…as I scream in agony i lurch forward - you scream as I fall on you… and we tumble onto the bed - you’ve dropped your half eaten pot noodle bad boy on the covers but we are overcome with lust to be bothered… my urgent tongue like a thirsty labrador explores your mouth while a hand gently strokes you hair.. like you would with a guide dog as my other hand rummages up inside your duffel coat…. It looks You have had a multiple orgasm and soaked the bed.. as you lie still with your eyes fixed on the ceiling… turns out you tasered yourself and your orangina has leaked in your pocket….this could be the start if something beautiful!!!
Not the first time that's happened "If i hadnt seen it on the hidden webcam i wouldnt have believed it xx | |||
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"My brains stimulated enough thanks. What would YOU send as a message to give them the fanny flutters? • I wouldn't message you.
·
Brutal.
•
But un-ingratiatingly honest.
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True."• Credit where credit is due though, if it hadn't been for this seminal thread I would never have known you had a pussy. | |||
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