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I'm ugly but I don't care

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

What's got you in a grumpy mood its Friday

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Me too op. Me too!

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"What's got you in a grumpy mood its Friday "

It's grumpy Friday, I'm setting a new trend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's got you in a grumpy mood its Friday

It's grumpy Friday, I'm setting a new trend "

You're not bloody ugly, behave yourself man

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Me too op. Me too! "

I mean, I'd be happy to do both of you without the need for a brown paper bag.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right? "

I don't know how to answer this, the sex stuff is kinda important

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Me too op. Me too! "

Good toilet etiquette is important

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"What's got you in a grumpy mood its Friday

It's grumpy Friday, I'm setting a new trend

You're not bloody ugly, behave yourself man "

I'm always getting told to behave myself

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Your not ugly! X

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right? "

All depends on what you do with the seat to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While not the ugliest guy on Fab I know I'm like on the top 100 at least but not bothered either

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Me too op. Me too!

I mean, I'd be happy to do both of you without the need for a brown paper bag."

I'm in

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well."

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Youre my kind of ugly. I'm ugly but it totally works for me. My bitch facevis seldom resting regardless of what the profile says.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Your not ugly! X"

Maybe niche looking is better, I'm having one of those days

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Your not ugly! X

Maybe niche looking is better, I'm having one of those days "

A fat ugly day?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Me too op. Me too!

I mean, I'd be happy to do both of you without the need for a brown paper bag.

I'm in"

I was expecting to feel it a little more.

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By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well."

At least you have a ballgown, so all good.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right? "

I'll do the cooking then

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"While not the ugliest guy on Fab I know I'm like on the top 100 at least but not bothered either "

There's a lot of blank profiles on here buddy, that's all I'm saying

Don't put yourself down so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm awesome at cooking.

That's all.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million "

What happens if that's your perception of yourself, but in reality it's the opposite

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right?

All depends on what you do with the seat to be honest."

I don't do anything with it

FA(shit)F?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million "

If you think your ugly,then God help us all

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Youre my kind of ugly. I'm ugly but it totally works for me. My bitch facevis seldom resting regardless of what the profile says. "

Thank you, I do the resting bitch face quite well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million

If you think your ugly,then God help us all "

Was just thinking this myself

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well."

One of those is true, I reckon.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right?

All depends on what you do with the seat to be honest.

I don't do anything with it

FA(shit)F? "

Only interested if you are really shit.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Your not ugly! X

Maybe niche looking is better, I'm having one of those days

A fat ugly day? "

Not quite yet

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Me too op. Me too!

I mean, I'd be happy to do both of you without the need for a brown paper bag.

I'm in

I was expecting to feel it a little more."

I'm sorry, I went in soft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm average looking

Average at cooking

But amazing at the thing they call sex

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Your not ugly! X

Maybe niche looking is better, I'm having one of those days "

“Niche looking” - best phrase of the day. Stealing that one!

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm awesome at cooking.

That's all.

"

I've heard your beans on toast are unrivaled

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

You are from ugly OP, also your a really nice guy.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I have no redeeming qualities.

I am so dark and cynical, people sometimes find what I say funny, but it's purely co-incidental.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week "

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million

What happens if that's your perception of yourself, but in reality it's the opposite "

You don't think I lift the seat and put it down again?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

One of those is untrue, I reckon."

You're right. I love cooking as long as I don't have to eat it.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's got you in a grumpy mood its Friday

It's grumpy Friday, I'm setting a new trend

You're not bloody ugly, behave yourself man

I'm always getting told to behave myself "

Oh?

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right?

All depends on what you do with the seat to be honest.

I don't do anything with it

FA(shit)F?

Only interested if you are really shit."

I promise to do my worst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear. "

I second this.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million

If you think your ugly,then God help us all "

I have my moments

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million

What happens if that's your perception of yourself, but in reality it's the opposite

You don't think I lift the seat and put it down again? "

Definitely not, I reckon you pee all over the closed lid

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Your not ugly! X

Maybe niche looking is better, I'm having one of those days

“Niche looking” - best phrase of the day. Stealing that one!"

You're welcome

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"You are from ugly OP, also your a really nice guy."

Thank you for saying so

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I have no redeeming qualities.

I am so dark and cynical, people sometimes find what I say funny, but it's purely co-incidental."

Should we be taking you seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no redeeming qualities.

I am so dark and cynical, people sometimes find what I say funny, but it's purely co-incidental.

Should we be taking you seriously? "

No. He's not even particularly cynical!

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff."

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff "

I'll bake you a cake instead.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear. "

Nobody has ever used me just the once, this is a cruel thought as I'd hate to be used for sex just the one time and then nothing

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I'm ok looking and shit at cooking and sex stuff. I'm still a catch though right?

All depends on what you do with the seat to be honest.

I don't do anything with it

FA(shit)F?

Only interested if you are really shit.

I promise to do my worst "

I am sure it will be a miserable experience

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I'm okay at the sex stuff, quite good at the cooking and okay looking in a dark room.

But... I won't be boiling your favourite pet in a saucepan.

That's definitely a USP on here.

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt


"What's got you in a grumpy mood its Friday

It's grumpy Friday, I'm setting a new trend "

Ah ok lool

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

Same..past caring now

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm good at cooking and alright at the sex stuff apparently though, it's all good

Oh and I lift the seat and put it back down after I've finished peeing, honestly I'm one in a million

What happens if that's your perception of yourself, but in reality it's the opposite

You don't think I lift the seat and put it down again?

Definitely not, I reckon you pee all over the closed lid "

People pay good money for that sort of thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this."

Don't guys like been used and ignored?

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead."

I love the cake

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake "

And yet you haven't once come to get it

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter

I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm okay at the sex stuff, quite good at the cooking and okay looking in a dark room.

But... I won't be boiling your favourite pet in a saucepan.

That's definitely a USP on here. "

I don't have any pets anyway but it's always nice to know that pets are safe around someone

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this.

Don't guys like been used and ignored? "

It's a mandatory part of being male

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though"

And stubborn!

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it "

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this.

Don't guys like been used and ignored?

It's a mandatory part of being male"

Only desperate males you mean!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I'm okay at the sex stuff, quite good at the cooking and okay looking in a dark room.

But... I won't be boiling your favourite pet in a saucepan.

That's definitely a USP on here.

I don't have any pets anyway but it's always nice to know that pets are safe around someone "

Ha! No. It's from Fatal Attraction. Bunny boiler.... the less said about that the better.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though"

I quite like mean girls if they can be corrected

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address "

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this.

Don't guys like been used and ignored?

It's a mandatory part of being male

Only desperate males you mean!!"

Be quiet and prepare to be used.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"I have no redeeming qualities.

I am so dark and cynical, people sometimes find what I say funny, but it's purely co-incidental.

Should we be taking you seriously?

No. He's not even particularly cynical!"

See nobody takes me seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this.

Don't guys like been used and ignored?

It's a mandatory part of being male

Only desperate males you mean!!

Be quiet and prepare to be used."

Lilith I will roundhouse you in the tit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this.

Don't guys like been used and ignored?

It's a mandatory part of being male

Only desperate males you mean!!

Be quiet and prepare to be used.

Lilith I will roundhouse you in the tit "

I love it when you talk dirty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no redeeming qualities.

I am so dark and cynical, people sometimes find what I say funny, but it's purely co-incidental.

Should we be taking you seriously?

No. He's not even particularly cynical!

See nobody takes me seriously."

I was being nice!!

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Remember op! They are just blowing smoke up your arse.

They don't really mean it, just want to get in your pants and then leave you used and ignored once it's all over.

Saying what they think you want to hear.

I second this.

Don't guys like been used and ignored?

It's a mandatory part of being male

Only desperate males you mean!!"

I think it's a case of picking badly, I've never had sex out of desperation

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I have no redeeming qualities.

I am so dark and cynical, people sometimes find what I say funny, but it's purely co-incidental.

Should we be taking you seriously?

No. He's not even particularly cynical!

See nobody takes me seriously."

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat."

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

One of those is untrue, I reckon.

You're right. I love cooking as long as I don't have to eat it."

That's perfect... I hate cooking but love eating

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach "

Seems like effort. There's loads just down the road in the harbour.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

One of those is untrue, I reckon.

You're right. I love cooking as long as I don't have to eat it.

That's perfect... I hate cooking but love eating "

And you agreed with the other two

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though

And stubborn! "

No I'm not!

(Did I mention argumentative?)

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach

Seems like effort. There's loads just down the road in the harbour."

But I'm guessing you don't know how to hotwire them

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though

I quite like mean girls if they can be corrected "

You can't correct someone who's NEVER WRONG

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just meet people that need to wear glasses. And accidently sit on them, so they cant see and you are just a blur. Assure them you are handsome, entice them with a steaming pot of something delicious and all will be well.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach

Seems like effort. There's loads just down the road in the harbour.

But I'm guessing you don't know how to hotwire them "

Pffft. Obviously I do.

I'm just not good at lock picking and most of them have locks on the loo door.

I'm gonna need to get in there.

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though

I quite like mean girls if they can be corrected

You can't correct someone who's NEVER WRONG "

Well I'm always right and unless you agree with everything I say then you're definitely wrong now and then

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach

Seems like effort. There's loads just down the road in the harbour.

But I'm guessing you don't know how to hotwire them

Pffft. Obviously I do.

I'm just not good at lock picking and most of them have locks on the loo door.

I'm gonna need to get in there."

You can just squat over side of boat

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Just meet people that need to wear glasses. And accidently sit on them, so they cant see and you are just a blur. Assure them you are handsome, entice them with a steaming pot of something delicious and all will be well. "

This would mean sneaking up behind them, knocking their glasses off face and crushing them before they have seen me

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though

I quite like mean girls if they can be corrected

You can't correct someone who's NEVER WRONG

Well I'm always right and unless you agree with everything I say then you're definitely wrong now and then "

I know its the highest form of flattery and all but can you stop copying me please?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach

Seems like effort. There's loads just down the road in the harbour.

But I'm guessing you don't know how to hotwire them

Pffft. Obviously I do.

I'm just not good at lock picking and most of them have locks on the loo door.

I'm gonna need to get in there.

You can just squat over side of boat "

Not when I'm holding a cake as well

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not ugly, I'm told I'm pretty good at sex and I'm a good cook.

I am kinda mean though

I quite like mean girls if they can be corrected

You can't correct someone who's NEVER WRONG

Well I'm always right and unless you agree with everything I say then you're definitely wrong now and then

I know its the highest form of flattery and all but can you stop copying me please? "

Even though you have said please, I can't agree to stop doing something I have not done... Yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just meet people that need to wear glasses. And accidently sit on them, so they cant see and you are just a blur. Assure them you are handsome, entice them with a steaming pot of something delicious and all will be well.

This would mean sneaking up behind them, knocking their glasses off face and crushing them before they have seen me "

Sounds like a plan

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By *iscean_dream OP   Man
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm ugly, hate cooking and shite at the sex.

Ah well.

I'm lighting a candle as we speak and I'll arrange a balloon release thing for you next week

Don't do the balloon thing. Cos of the fishes n stuff.

That's a good point, I like fishies and stuff

I'll bake you a cake instead.

I love the cake

And yet you haven't once come to get it

Jesus Posh, how many cakes have you baked and not told me?

You have my address

I'm totally bringing one round one day.

When I've nicked a boat.

It can't be that difficult, just go to dover and pick one up from the beach

Seems like effort. There's loads just down the road in the harbour.

But I'm guessing you don't know how to hotwire them

Pffft. Obviously I do.

I'm just not good at lock picking and most of them have locks on the loo door.

I'm gonna need to get in there.

You can just squat over side of boat

Not when I'm holding a cake as well"

I don't think you need to hold it the whole journey

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