FabSwingers.com forum: How shall I kill this bastard mosquito?

By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

1. With fire.

2. Nuke it from space.

3. Take its family hostage, burn its villages, and salt its crops.

4. Suck its blood.

5. Taunt it.

6. Complain about it on TikTok with an excellent background track.

7. Other (please specify).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5 then 4

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Catch it alive and post it through a neighbour you don’t likes letterbox

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Same…

I have one buzzing around my head somewhere right now.!!

Hateful things…

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Let it live

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband bought me a salt gun for the buggies. It works perfectly.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"1. With fire.

2. Nuke it from space.

3. Take its family hostage, burn its villages, and salt its crops.

4. Suck its blood.

5. Taunt it.

6. Complain about it on TikTok with an excellent background track.

7. Other (please specify)."

6. And post the video on here too I'm not on TikTok.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Just burn down your house, plus a 2 mile exclusion zone and move to the middle of the Pacific, where there will be no mozzies. It's the only way.

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By *urbo TedMan
over a year ago

Stansted

As a kid of the 80s, my first thought is that you have a problem, and no one else can solve it, then you need the A Team.

They'll nail that little critter in no time

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Splat it against the wall?

Just make sure it's dead. Otherwise it will wait until the light is off and buzz around your ear until you hit yourself in the head!

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Let it live "

This is not an option. I'm prepared to drain my own blood out of spite, if necessary.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Catch it with chopsticks and then taunt it before finding a cobweb to leave it in for a spider to feast on later

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

7. Talk to it nicely. Show it the light…. It’ll soon be following the correct path

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"My husband bought me a salt gun for the buggies. It works perfectly."

Oh. My.

A salt gun? Can I use it on chips?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get some pet dragonflies, they eat them

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Catch it with chopsticks and then taunt it before finding a cobweb to leave it in for a spider to feast on later "

If I had those kind of manual skills, I'd be drowning in Fab offers.

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"1. With fire.

2. Nuke it from space.

3. Take its family hostage, burn its villages, and salt its crops.

4. Suck its blood.

5. Taunt it.

6. Complain about it on TikTok with an excellent background track.

7. Other (please specify).

6. And post the video on here too I'm not on TikTok."

(Psst...I'm not on TikTok either. I'm much too old.)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Let it live

This is not an option. I'm prepared to drain my own blood out of spite, if necessary."

exsanguination is a little dramatic

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Light a candle

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Catch it with chopsticks and then taunt it before finding a cobweb to leave it in for a spider to feast on later

If I had those kind of manual skills, I'd be drowning in Fab offers.

I'd offer to train you but the waiting list is about 30 years and I'm not planning on seeing that out

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"As a kid of the 80s, my first thought is that you have a problem, and no one else can solve it, then you need the A Team.

They'll nail that little critter in no time

Do you think Mr T would get on a plane for me, though?

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

"Catch it with chopsticks and then taunt it before finding a cobweb to leave it in for a spider to feast on later

If I had those kind of manual skills, I'd be drowning in Fab offers.

The girls like chopstick skills?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How shall I kill this bastard mosquito?

Squash it like it's made of balsa

Maybe I'll hit it with tasty burrito

It could make quite a nice salsa

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Just burn down your house, plus a 2 mile exclusion zone and move to the middle of the Pacific, where there will be no mozzies. It's the only way."

I like this...but if it doesn't work, my dessicated castaway ghost will haunt you.

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Light a candle"

You think my end has come?

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"How shall I kill this bastard mosquito?

Squash it like it's made of balsa

Maybe I'll hit it with tasty burrito

It could make quite a nice salsa"

Led Zep's Japanese B-sides deserve their own Remastered series.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

3. Take its family hostage, burn its villages, and salt its crops.

3 has consequences

My name is Culiseta Annulata. Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Anopheles Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Malaria. Father to a murdered mosquito. Husband to a murdered mosquito. And I will have my vengeance in this life or the next.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Light a candle

You think my end has come?"

Maybe it will fly into it and die!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Send it here. I'm feeling like swatting

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

3. Take its family hostage, burn its villages, and salt its crops.

3 has consequences

This is outstanding work!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Get a pet Huntsman Spider that will sort it out

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

See if you can jizz on it

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By *he Kat 666Woman
over a year ago

Salisbury

How do you know its a bastard? Have you spoken to it abouts it's bloodline?

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

Honestly, men on here frequently complain that they don't get attention from females, and yet when they finally get it.....

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