FabSwingers.com forum: Ok some serious profile advice needed.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve finally decided to try and find myself a person to do the sex with.

What should I include in my bio? Serious suggestions are welcome. Stupid suggestions more welcome though obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell everyone you can breathe through your ears, give oral for hours, make any woman squirt and are a heavy cummer. That’ll have you knee deep in clunge before bedtime

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell everyone you can breathe through your ears, give oral for hours, make any woman squirt and are a heavy cummer. That’ll have you knee deep in clunge before bedtime "

Ok hang on I’m writing this down

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Tell them you like to leave your socks on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell everyone you can breathe through your ears, give oral for hours, make any woman squirt and are a heavy cummer. That’ll have you knee deep in clunge before bedtime

Ok hang on I’m writing this down"

Oh also say you can only accommodate between 9 and 3 so they know you’ve definitely not got a mrs. And add something about going all night too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell them you like to leave your socks on"

I do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell everyone you can breathe through your ears, give oral for hours, make any woman squirt and are a heavy cummer. That’ll have you knee deep in clunge before bedtime

Ok hang on I’m writing this down

Oh also say you can only accommodate between 9 and 3 so they know you’ve definitely not got a mrs. And add something about going all night too "

I do have a mrs though. Should I pretend I don’t?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Demand how they need to be to the exact detail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell everyone you can breathe through your ears, give oral for hours, make any woman squirt and are a heavy cummer. That’ll have you knee deep in clunge before bedtime

Ok hang on I’m writing this down

Oh also say you can only accommodate between 9 and 3 so they know you’ve definitely not got a mrs. And add something about going all night too

I do have a mrs though. Should I pretend I don’t?"

Absolutely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey I'm Mr Pickle. I'm black, not green! (No I'm not the Hulk)

You may remember me from such forum threads as "serious profile" and "speak to me" (which as usual turned into a literotica orgy)

I'm looking for someone to "do the sex with" (I know I sound creepier than I am) but I have good intentions. I want to give you the most pleasurable time of your life. (If I get off, that's a bonus too)

I love everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (can I write everyone anymore?)

So everyone (there's another) if you need a Mr Pickle to sch-tickle, your vagizzle (or poo-pizzle) *nb the word poopizzle may need some adjustment*

I'm the Mr pickle for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Demand how they need to be to the exact detail"

Ok. I’ll add in I get lots of messages and I’m not desperate so I won’t shag anything

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey I'm Mr Pickle. I'm black, not green! (No I'm not the Hulk)

You may remember me from such forum threads as "serious profile" and "speak to me" (which as usual turned into a literotica orgy)

I love everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (can I write everyone anymore?)

So everyone (there's another) if you need a Mr Pickle to sch-tickle, your vagizzle (or poo-pizzle) *nb the word poopizzle may need some adjustment*

I'm the Mr pickle for you."

I’m going to make this my bio until I get a better offer.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Mention you can gargle squirt to the tune of Jay Z’s Hardknock Life.

That would be enough to get me legs akimbo

albeit I don’t squirt. But the fun is in the trying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He is P (productive)

He is I (implacable)

He is C (cherubic)

He is K (kindly)

He is L (libidinous)

He is Eeeee eeeee eeeee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey I'm Mr Pickle. I'm black, not green! (No I'm not the Hulk)

You may remember me from such forum threads as "serious profile" and "speak to me" (which as usual turned into a literotica orgy)

I love everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (can I write everyone anymore?)

So everyone (there's another) if you need a Mr Pickle to sch-tickle, your vagizzle (or poo-pizzle) *nb the word poopizzle may need some adjustment*

I'm the Mr pickle for you.

I’m going to make this my bio until I get a better offer.

Haha. I'm humbled.

*tallandathletic writing takes no responsibility for lack of meets/friends/winks/invites or if people block you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey I'm Mr Pickle. I'm black, not green! (No I'm not the Hulk)

You may remember me from such forum threads as "serious profile" and "speak to me" (which as usual turned into a literotica orgy)

I love everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (can I write everyone anymore?)

So everyone (there's another) if you need a Mr Pickle to sch-tickle, your vagizzle (or poo-pizzle) *nb the word poopizzle may need some adjustment*

I'm the Mr pickle for you.

I’m going to make this my bio until I get a better offer.

Haha. I'm humbled.

*tallandathletic writing takes no responsibility for lack of meets/friends/winks/invites or if people block you."

I’ve been blocked by enough people. I won’t blame you

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Please have sex with me.

Please

Pretty please?

Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mention you can gargle squirt to the tune of Jay Z’s Hardknock Life.

That would be enough to get me legs akimbo

albeit I don’t squirt. But the fun is in the trying! "

I can do that tbf.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Please have sex with me.

Please

Pretty please?

Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!

Shall I put that in there? Or are you begging me?

Either way I’m leaning towards ‘ok’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pickle does. Who the fuck he wants! Should be your profile title.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"He is P (productive)

He is I (implacable)

He is C (cherubic)

He is K (kindly)

He is L (libidinous)

He is Eeeee eeeee eeeee."

Love this. Can you write my bio for me please? Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He is P (productive)

He is I (implacable)

He is C (cherubic)

He is K (kindly)

He is L (libidinous)

He is Eeeee eeeee eeeee.

Love this. Can you write my bio for me please? Thanks. "
shall we do a write Someone’s bio for them thread. Haven’t seen that in YEARS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He is P (productive)

He is I (implacable)

He is C (cherubic)

He is K (kindly)

He is L (libidinous)

He is Eeeee eeeee eeeee.

Love this. Can you write my bio for me please? Thanks. shall we do a write Someone’s bio for them thread. Haven’t seen that in YEARS. "

Carnage. My thumbs are tired now.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

You should definitely include your email address, national insurance number and two recent passport sized photographs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck op.

Try telling them how good you are at baking cake

they love it!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just BBC. They don’t give a fuk about the rest. They seem to like people who pay their TV license and don’t watch TV channels with adverts.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"Hey I'm Mr Pickle. I'm black, not green! (No I'm not the Hulk)

You may remember me from such forum threads as "serious profile" and "speak to me" (which as usual turned into a literotica orgy)

I love everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (can I write everyone anymore?)

So everyone (there's another) if you need a Mr Pickle to sch-tickle, your vagizzle (or poo-pizzle) *nb the word poopizzle may need some adjustment*

I'm the Mr pickle for you.

I’m going to make this my bio until I get a better offer.

Haha. I'm humbled.

*tallandathletic writing takes no responsibility for lack of meets/friends/winks/invites or if people block you.

I’ve been blocked by enough people. I won’t blame you

We'd honestly go with that.. it's funny! Well done Tall

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good luck op.

Try telling them how good you are at baking cake

they love it!!!! "

I’m even better at eating cake (euphemism).

No seriously I’m really good at eating. That’s why I’m fat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just BBC. They don’t give a fuk about the rest. They seem to like people who pay their TV license and don’t watch TV channels with adverts. "

I could do this. But I don’t have a ‘BBC’ so I’d feel like I’m deceiving the ones that aren’t using it as a synonym for black guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember to add, "I'm genuine"

Guaranteed shag phrase right there!

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Remember to add, "I'm genuine"

Guaranteed shag phrase right there! "

Genuine. Professional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Remember to add, "I'm genuine"

Guaranteed shag phrase right there!

Genuine. Professional

"
and picky

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

"Remember to add, "I'm genuine"

Guaranteed shag phrase right there!

Genuine. Professional

Genuine. Professional. Only looking for Exceptional females, don't forget the capital E for exceptional and its always females!

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I'll hijack this and ask for similar.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Hey I'm Mr Pickle. I'm black, not green! (No I'm not the Hulk)

You may remember me from such forum threads as "serious profile" and "speak to me" (which as usual turned into a literotica orgy)

I love everyone, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (can I write everyone anymore?)

So everyone (there's another) if you need a Mr Pickle to sch-tickle, your vagizzle (or poo-pizzle) *nb the word poopizzle may need some adjustment*

I'm the Mr pickle for you."

This is genius

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Ha! Serious? Advice? Serious advice? On this forum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll hijack this and ask for similar.

C, my advice to improve any couples profile is to constantly do statuses asking ‘who wants to meet Mr alone tonight?’

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Don't forget to also change your pics to all cocks and a bumhole.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"He is P (productive)

He is I (implacable)

He is C (cherubic)

He is K (kindly)

He is L (libidinous)

He is Eeeee eeeee eeeee."

Haha quality. Now I can't get the tune outta my head and it's not even 0930

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"I’ve finally decided to try and find myself a person to do the sex with.

What should I include in my bio? Serious suggestions are welcome. Stupid suggestions more welcome though obviously. "

Simple. Something along the lines of:

I used to be 6"4', athletic, sporty, good looking, flowing hair and won the MM for distinguished service in Africa.

I'm currently 4ft tall with a hunch back, boils on my face and hands, one leg shorter than the other.

Not really had sex since I shagged a witch doctor's wife and looking to meet some foxes on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve finally decided to try and find myself a person to do the sex with.

What should I include in my bio? Serious suggestions are welcome. Stupid suggestions more welcome though obviously.

Simple. Something along the lines of:

I used to be 6"4', athletic, sporty, good looking, flowing hair and won the MM for distinguished service in Africa.

I'm currently 4ft tall with a hunch back, boils on my face and hands, one leg shorter than the other.

Not really had sex since I shagged a witch doctor's wife and looking to meet some foxes on Fab."

creepy how well you describe me.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

What do you mean Finally decided!

Has the rest of your time on Fab been Fake!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"I’ve finally decided to try and find myself a person to do the sex with.

What should I include in my bio? Serious suggestions are welcome. Stupid suggestions more welcome though obviously.

Simple. Something along the lines of:

I used to be 6"4', athletic, sporty, good looking, flowing hair and won the MM for distinguished service in Africa.

I'm currently 4ft tall with a hunch back, boils on my face and hands, one leg shorter than the other.

Not really had sex since I shagged a witch doctor's wife and looking to meet some foxes on Fab.

creepy how well you describe me.

Hopefully not the 4ft version! But there is something for everyone buddy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve finally decided to try and find myself a person to do the sex with.

What should I include in my bio? Serious suggestions are welcome. Stupid suggestions more welcome though obviously.

Simple. Something along the lines of:

I used to be 6"4', athletic, sporty, good looking, flowing hair and won the MM for distinguished service in Africa.

I'm currently 4ft tall with a hunch back, boils on my face and hands, one leg shorter than the other.

Not really had sex since I shagged a witch doctor's wife and looking to meet some foxes on Fab.

creepy how well you describe me.

Hopefully not the 4ft version! But there is something for everyone buddy."

4ft is the length of his penis

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you mean Finally decided!

Has the rest of your time on Fab been Fake!

On this latest profile… yes

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

"What do you mean Finally decided!

Has the rest of your time on Fab been Fake!

On this latest profile… yes

Bbbut, does that mean, sobs*

Dont You Want Me, Baby?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Make sure you post a pic in suit. Chick's dig it.

Gets them wetter than a kids eyes when you steal their last haribo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you mean Finally decided!

Has the rest of your time on Fab been Fake!

On this latest profile… yes

Bbbut, does that mean, sobs*

Dont You Want Me, Baby?

Love that song

Tess, I want you. Trust me on that.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"I’ve finally decided to try and find myself a person to do the sex with.

What should I include in my bio? Serious suggestions are welcome. Stupid suggestions more welcome though obviously.

Simple. Something along the lines of:

I used to be 6"4', athletic, sporty, good looking, flowing hair and won the MM for distinguished service in Africa.

I'm currently 4ft tall with a hunch back, boils on my face and hands, one leg shorter than the other.

Not really had sex since I shagged a witch doctor's wife and looking to meet some foxes on Fab.

creepy how well you describe me.

Hopefully not the 4ft version! But there is something for everyone buddy.

4ft is the length of his penis "

Haha that would be a game changer for sure

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Change your headline to "I'm pickle dick!"

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 19/07/23 10:58:44]

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Tell them you are similar to "him on the telly".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Change your headline to "I'm pickle dick!"

LvM"

You’re on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

Challenge accepted. I’ll report back if I ever get a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

Challenge accepted. I’ll report back if I ever get a meet"

It would work on me

(outside your age range though)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

Challenge accepted. I’ll report back if I ever get a meet

It would work on me

(outside your age range though)"

Not outside my real age range though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say something like this has to be highly effective

I am no fickle nickle, if you tickle my mickle pickle, I'll trickle all over

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

"You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

Challenge accepted. I’ll report back if I ever get a meet

It would work on me

(outside your age range though)"
picture of pickles Gherkins

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

"Please have sex with me.

Please

Pretty please?

Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!

Most certainly will.

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Remember to add, "I'm genuine"

Guaranteed shag phrase right there!

Genuine. Professional

Genuine. Professional. Only looking for Exceptional females, don't forget the capital E for exceptional and its always females!

Also add looking for quality not quantity

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Remember to add, "I'm genuine"

Guaranteed shag phrase right there!

Genuine. Professional

Genuine. Professional. Only looking for Exceptional females, don't forget the capital E for exceptional and its always females!

Also add looking for quality not quantity "

Wanna meet now?

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Hello I need advice

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By *naswingdressWoman
47 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hello I need advice"

don't resurrect other people's posts, it's rude?

(yes I know this was probably yours, couldn't resist)

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By *ittlebirdWoman
47 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Hello I need advice"

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Hello I need advice

don't resurrect other people's posts, it's rude?

(yes I know this was probably yours, couldn't resist)"

You’re so gonna get it

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By *ittlebirdWoman
47 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

FAF?

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By *ros40Man
47 weeks ago

Bedford

Just constantly send cock pics

Don't take no as an answer

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

FAF?

"
only if you sit on my face. I’m in that kinda mood

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Just constantly send cock pics

Don't take no as an answer "
excellent idea.

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By *onguiliciousMan
47 weeks ago

Northallerton

Tell them if they like eating Stinking Bishop they’ll live going down on you! ????????

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By *ittlebirdWoman
47 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

FAF?

only if you sit on my face. I’m in that kinda mood

Oh FFS. If I have to… go on then. Can I suck your pickle afterwards?

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Tell them if they like eating Stinking Bishop they’ll live going down on you! ????????"

Will that definitely work?

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

FAF?

only if you sit on my face. I’m in that kinda mood

Oh FFS. If I have to… go on then. Can I suck your pickle afterwards?

Yes please. Or at the same time. Whatever

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By *ittlebirdWoman
47 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

FAF?

only if you sit on my face. I’m in that kinda mood

Oh FFS. If I have to… go on then. Can I suck your pickle afterwards?

Yes please. Or at the same time. Whatever

Definitely not at the same time. Well maybe… I’ve got the horn

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Hello I need advice

Was this you when you were on here the 100 times before?

Dunno if it was me or not but I need advice

FAF?

only if you sit on my face. I’m in that kinda mood

Oh FFS. If I have to… go on then. Can I suck your pickle afterwards?

Yes please. Or at the same time. Whatever

Definitely not at the same time. Well maybe… I’ve got the horn

Ooops

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By *emidemiWoman
47 weeks ago

basingstoke

"You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

Challenge accepted. I’ll report back if I ever get a meet

It would work on me

(outside your age range though)

Not outside my real age range though

Pickle I can’t believe this is when we first started chatting

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"You need to put every message subject as “let me pickle your insides”, that’ll deffo work

Challenge accepted. I’ll report back if I ever get a meet

It would work on me

(outside your age range though)

Not outside my real age range though

Pickle I can’t believe this is when we first started chatting "

RizzQueen!

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By *naswingdressWoman
47 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hello I need advice

don't resurrect other people's posts, it's rude?

(yes I know this was probably yours, couldn't resist)

You’re so gonna get it"

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By *ris GrayMan
47 weeks ago

Dorchester

You need to have a profile

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