FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

For those that don't want a relationship.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why don't you want one?

And do you think that's forever? Or that given time you might change your mind?

I recently explained to someone that I'm far happier in a multiple Fwb settings as opposed to a relationship.

And they asked me....should you be?

That hit me, I think I could have deleted fab in an instant when it was asked. Now it plays on my mind.

So for those that don't want a relationship and are happier in other settings ......Should YOU be?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do what works for you and fuck what society thinks is “normal”.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I don't want a serious relationship because I don't have the physical, mental or emotional energy to maintain one.

I'm also very unfit and have health issues that would put anyone off of committing.

I don't want to give up my long term sex buddy just yet.

Lastly, I don't want to clean up after another person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I don't want a serious relationship because I don't have the physical, mental or emotional energy to maintain one.

I'm also very unfit and have health issues that would put anyone off of committing.

I don't want to give up my long term sex buddy just yet.

Lastly, I don't want to clean up after another person.

"

And, I like having my bed to myself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my head, I'd love to have the 'one' but I know in reality it will never happen.

I have major trust issues and I could never let one person into my life fully. I know I'd fuck it up and it's just not worth it for me, unfortunately my ex will forever live in my head.

Plus I have plans to get a pack of huskies and a man would just ruin that.

Multiple fwbs is the way forward. All the good bits without the stress and commitment. What's not to like.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never want to rely on anyone apart from myself, no expectations etc. Just me against the world as such!!!

Heartache is crippling, and life is too short.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You ‘should’ be happy with whatever you’re happy with.

I don’t want a relationship for millions of reasons and I’d be pretty pissed if someone questioned that!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Absolutely you should be proud and happy to do whatever makes you happy ...

I cba with a relationship as I had 15 years of responsibility so now I'm happy with a couple of FWB's and still do the social stuff that goes with it ..

Perfect for me atm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do and I don't.

It's about finding the right balance. It seems lately, people I've dated, haven't given me enough space or time to myself.

Perhaps I need to communicate that I value alone time and I don't need someone to message me constantly throughout the day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Yes it works for me. I don't think I'm very good at relationships. My needs are met without encroaching on my life too much . I need my own space and spend a lot of time by myself yet don't get lonely. I can't say I will never meet that person who changes my mind but I think it unlikely.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/23 08:58:03]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not that I don’t want one it’s just isn’t fair on that person to be honest plus the fact my outlook has changed a lot

1st point is my hart belongs to someone else and that’s not fair on a person to get in to a relationship knowing that I can’t give them my hart

2nd I got hurt really bad my hart is broken in a million bits and I really don’t think it could take getting broken again it’s just easier being single than risking my hart being completely broken

3rd I am broke beyond repair it isn’t fair on someone to need to mend me and put me back together

4th my outlook on relationships has changed Drastically over the years I no longer seek a closed off relationship has to be open both ways by that I mean can play with men and woman

It’s just much easier for me to have fwb fb or one offs than subject someone to the damage that’s been done to me

Up in till maybe 5 years ago I would try dateing

And I would sit there and know my hart wasn’t there

So I would do or say something stupid so it would turn them off me that way they didn’t feel bad that it was them or anything they could continue on dateing

And put it down to me not being for them but in reality it was the other way around I just can’t do that to anybody

Knowing that I don’t truely love them and that my hart belongs to someone else

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there’s definitely someone for me,

And for everyone. wether I meet them is another thing. I hope so but at the minute I’m enjoying my own pace of life, making friends and holidaying with my daughter.

Never say never though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

I'm not looking for a relationship but I'm not opposed to the idea, in principle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

And I’ll ask you back - why shouldn’t we? If it’s to fit into warped societal expectations then fuck this.

I’ve been living all my life doing what people expected me to do and it caused me extensive stress and unnecessary pressure.

Now I’m 50 and I no longer care what others think and I’m much better off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

If you’re happy, you know it. Why question it?!

If someone else is questioning your feelings, they’re probably not the right type of person to spend time with.

There’s no “right” way to live, just the best way that suits you!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilybethWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I’m not looking for a relationship because online dating apps are awful. If I happened to meet the right person I’d be completely happy to give it a go. But I’d rather be single than settle for the sake of it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard to find someone I actually want to spend a lot of time with.

And I'm evidently not very good at them.

And as has already been said - heartache is absolutely brutal.

Still looking though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After having lots of therapy it turns out I can never be in a relationship so I am not looking for one.

Even having friends is to much so they all had to go.

I am here just to have a bit of fun and nothing more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think whatever we feel happy with, shouldn't have to go by what society thinks we should. However, I do feel at times, a fwb situation some people forget to be respectful as in not communicating if they're busy and just ignoring messages with the "well we're not in a relationship" attitude

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Kat 666Woman
over a year ago

Salisbury

My previous relationship was exceptionally toxic to say the least and I was cheated on at possibly the worst time of my life ( was in hospital critically ill when he did it) so that's killed off any thoughts of ever being able to settle down and put my trust in another man 100%. certainly not for the foreseeable future anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

We are fwb, have been for 8 years. It suits me. I have attempted to date outside this, but soon find I get irritated with what I see as demands for my time. I've come to realise I like my independent life. I was married unhappily for many years and see many downsides to intimate long term relationships, where demands are invariably made.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

My last long term relationship seems to have broken the bit of me that might ever have been happy in a standard relationship, though based on my history that was clearly a tenuous thing at the best of times anyway. I like having a mix of friends that are also in the range of flirty to amorous or sexy and that works for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkprawnMan
over a year ago

Harrow

I am looking for a relationship with somebody (t-girl or female) from the swinging scene to be life and swinging partner

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

You should want whatever you want.

If you want/are open to relationships? Great.

If you don't? Also great. Do what makes you happy. As long as you're honest with those important to you, you really shouldn't give too much of a fuck about what others think. Easier said than done but it's far more important to be happy than following some archaic monogamous relationship guide on how to live your life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *horleygentMan
over a year ago

Accrington

I'm happy as I am. I love my own time and space. I have great friends, a lovely family, a busy social life. A FWB would suit me just fine but Im not desperate for that either.

Just enjoy life day to day if possible.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I entered my first poly relationship aged 18, apart from a brief mono relationship try, which ended In disaster. I need multiples as I want different things from different people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never thought I'd be single at this stage in my life and if I'm being totally honest I don't know if I could do all the love again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I enjoy relationships. I think they're amazing.

Do I ever want to move in with someone? Get married? Have kids? Fuck no.

But that doesn't mean I can't have meaningful relationships along the way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what a 'relationship' is. I'm not a baby sitting service.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to think I wanted happy ever after and in my mind I thought that meant with someone.

I've realised that happy ever after starts and ends with me.

I don't need someone to complete me. I'm already whole.

Sure I have times when I'm lonely and I have times when I wish I didn't need to be so god damn resilient and on my own but equally I've never really had that safety blanket in any of my relationships either.

And to be really honest, I don't want to be so vulnerable that my heart gets broken again.

For now I'm focusing on me, my wants, my needs and I'm enjoying myself for the first time in years.

I'm working on the most important relationship I will ever have which is the one with myself.

I'm not closed off to love. Far from it. I'm still a hopeless romantic who wants that so much.

Thankfully I know it comes in different forms. Maybe it will take me by surprise by one day.

Who knows.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

I’m a few months in to a 25yr marriage that’s recently ended and still licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself but don’t think I’d put as much effort into another relationship so it wouldn’t be fair on somebody else. I like the idea of no commitment as such but I’m afraid I won’t fit in to this as been wrapped up in the comfort of being secure even though it was a hard relationship over the years… we will see.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Define - Happy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought i wanted a single life and would enjoy life. But the last few months on my own have shown that I miss being in a relationship and doing things together with someone you love. They can be hard work at times but are so rewarding.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having to share a bed, sofa and be moaned about housework etc..I'll pass...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Just reserved when both ready I guess waiting for a total eclipse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

My partner died... It almost killed me too... I couldn't do that to someone... So single forever, for me, whether I am happy or not, thanks. That's the main reason, anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont need one, it's really that simple.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

I am happy as a single. And yes, OP, we should be happy as singles as well. Now, almost three years post separation, I have a house, kids, lovely job with decent pay, hobby and few friends. My life is fulfilling and I don’t feel a need to change it or as I see it add complications in a form of commitments.

I am not ruling out relationship in the future but… I invested a lot in my marriage it didn’t work out. I am not ready to invest in anyone anymore. My future relationship if it happens would be pure partnership of two equals.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlequin_tearsMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I recently explained to someone that I'm far happier in a multiple Fwb settings as opposed to a relationship.

And they asked me....should you be?

That hit me, I think I could have deleted fab in an instant when it was asked. Now it plays on my mind.

So for those that don't want a relationship and are happier in other settings ......Should YOU be?"

As a friend of mine once said, 'Embrace the AND'.

Polyamory is a thing.

Just because you have regular FWBs does not make those relationships invalid, or the friendships less real.

You do you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester


"I used to think I wanted happy ever after and in my mind I thought that meant with someone.

I've realised that happy ever after starts and ends with me.

I don't need someone to complete me. I'm already whole.

Sure I have times when I'm lonely and I have times when I wish I didn't need to be so god damn resilient and on my own but equally I've never really had that safety blanket in any of my relationships either.

And to be really honest, I don't want to be so vulnerable that my heart gets broken again.

For now I'm focusing on me, my wants, my needs and I'm enjoying myself for the first time in years.

I'm working on the most important relationship I will ever have which is the one with myself.

I'm not closed off to love. Far from it. I'm still a hopeless romantic who wants that so much.

Thankfully I know it comes in different forms. Maybe it will take me by surprise by one day.

Who knows.

"

Absolutely this!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT


"I enjoy relationships. I think they're amazing.

Do I ever want to move in with someone? Get married? Have kids? Fuck no.

But that doesn't mean I can't have meaningful relationships along the way."

Exactly, best of both worlds.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

[Removed by poster at 15/07/23 10:31:41]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon


"My partner died... It almost killed me too... I couldn't do that to someone... So single forever, for me, whether I am happy or not, thanks. That's the main reason, anyway "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otSoPetiteMortWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

So you said what makes you happy, and someone questioned whether you're allowed to be happy with something that makes you happy, and now you're worried that you're doing being happy "wrong" and wondering whether you should be happy with something that makes you unhappy?

Have I got that right?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon


"So you said what makes you happy, and someone questioned whether you're allowed to be happy with something that makes you happy, and now you're worried that you're doing being happy "wrong" and wondering whether you should be happy with something that makes you unhappy?

Have I got that right?"

Scratches head!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I kind of do, I work better in one. But like others, I have my own issues.

I'm extremely selective in who I let in, and thanks to some it's made it even harder for me to do so.

Trust issues for one, and I think I tend to self sabotage without realising it. I'm unable to let somebody in.

I know that's not me not wanting one, but I'm being realistic and adjusting my mindset to expect to not be. Through my own doing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igeress66Woman
over a year ago

Oxford

I would ask why shouldn’t you be?

I think you should do what makes you feel fulfilled in your life. Whether that’s with a partner or fwb.

Personally for me having recently found the swinging lifestyle, I don’t want to give up this freedom I’ve found. I can go and do what I want without explaining myself to anyone.

I can go home and fall asleep with a smile on my face.

I have great friends in the lifestyle and my vanilla world, they’re all different and bring differing things in my life as I hope I do to theirs.

I don’t need the monotony of being with the same person, following the same routine every day? If it works for you, I admire you.

I’ll never have that all encompassing love so I’m living for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

For now I just don’t have the energy for one. And if I’m honest with myself, because of trust issues, relationships kind of make me miserable. I’m actually happier being single and carefree.

That may change in the future. Never say never.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ature male OldhamMan
over a year ago

Oldham


"It’s not that I don’t want one it’s just isn’t fair on that person to be honest plus the fact my outlook has changed a lot

1st point is my hart belongs to someone else and that’s not fair on a person to get in to a relationship knowing that I can’t give them my hart

2nd I got hurt really bad my hart is broken in a million bits and I really don’t think it could take getting broken again it’s just easier being single than risking my hart being completely broken

3rd I am broke beyond repair it isn’t fair on someone to need to mend me and put me back together

4th my outlook on relationships has changed Drastically over the years I no longer seek a closed off relationship has to be open both ways by that I mean can play with men and woman

It’s just much easier for me to have fwb fb or one offs than subject someone to the damage that’s been done to me

Up in till maybe 5 years ago I would try dateing

And I would sit there and know my hart wasn’t there

So I would do or say something stupid so it would turn them off me that way they didn’t feel bad that it was them or anything they could continue on dateing

And put it down to me not being for them but in reality it was the other way around I just can’t do that to anybody

Knowing that I don’t truely love them and that my hart belongs to someone else

"

Absolutely ?? me too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/23 11:15:46]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im happy alone im more selfish I couldn't have a partner as wouldn't be right for them I like doing my classic cars and going out I've had a few who thought I'd change but didn't since I kicked the mother of my children out twenty odd yrs ago im more happier.friends have tried don't want me to go back how I was.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think I'm just convinced I'm not lovable, convinced my previous partners didn't actually love me truly and I've just given up completely on the idea.

To give myself and have it discarded by another ....not again. I'm done. I accept I'm shit, as much as that hurts like fuck.

I'm trying to work on myself too. And it's hard as I've just had two people discard me and it just massively reinforces that I think I'm a shit person. I don't want to be another disappointment and waste of someone else's time.

But maybe I'm ok in small doses.

Beside that, life circumstances mean I either make a sacrifice I just can't do. Or I put it on someone else. So regardless of the above I'm fucked anyway.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Never never want to b in a relationship again! No time for a start! Like my space without having to consider anyone else grown selfish I suppose! On a lighter note don't want to wash anyone's socks or share my remote! Prefer my cake and eat it x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Not worth the hassle and risk. I’m sure some people do live happily ever after but those are, in my opinion, the exception and not the rule. One only needs to look at all the profiles of married and attached people on here to see that even if someone promises you their love and loyalty, ultimately the words are meaningless to most people when it comes to putting their own happiness first. Maybe being here (coupled with my own life experiences) has given me too much of a look “behind the curtain” at reality. I’d rather be by myself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So you said what makes you happy, and someone questioned whether you're allowed to be happy with something that makes you happy, and now you're worried that you're doing being happy "wrong" and wondering whether you should be happy with something that makes you unhappy?

Have I got that right?"

Yes you have pretty much.

For context I had described my previous relationships and they aren't good. And they have put me off another.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington


"Why don't you want one?

And do you think that's forever? Or that given time you might change your mind?

I recently explained to someone that I'm far happier in a multiple Fwb settings as opposed to a relationship.

And they asked me....should you be?

That hit me, I think I could have deleted fab in an instant when it was asked. Now it plays on my mind.

So for those that don't want a relationship and are happier in other settings ......Should YOU be?"

you are happy where you are because at the present moment in time that is the best option for you(me) but if the right person can along that ticked all the boxes and when you thought of them you get that inner special feeling then you would happily change,,, (i am still waiting ) so just making the best of how things are to keep me going,,, and thats all any of us can do,, xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I’m not sure that being put off traditional relationships is the same as not wanting them.

Whatever someone’s reasons for saying ‘never again’ - and there are some good reasons right here in this thread! - simply wanting something different is another valid reason.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington


"Why don't you want one?

And do you think that's forever? Or that given time you might change your mind?

I recently explained to someone that I'm far happier in a multiple Fwb settings as opposed to a relationship.

And they asked me....should you be?

That hit me, I think I could have deleted fab in an instant when it was asked. Now it plays on my mind.

So for those that don't want a relationship and are happier in other settings ......Should YOU be?"

you are happy where you are because at the present moment in time that is the best option for you(me) but if the right person came along that ticked all the boxes and when you thought of them you get that inner special feeling then you would happily change,,, (i am still waiting ) so just making the best of how things are to keep me going,,, and thats all any of us can do,, xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

Because people tend to project one thing and are really something else.

Being flexible in my relationship status means that once someone starts to let the real them show through, I can move on with little fuss.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Replace ‘should’ with need or want and then see how you feel about it, be true to you, don’t do because others say so

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey


"Why don't you want one?

And do you think that's forever? Or that given time you might change your mind?

I recently explained to someone that I'm far happier in a multiple Fwb settings as opposed to a relationship.

And they asked me....should you be?

That hit me, I think I could have deleted fab in an instant when it was asked. Now it plays on my mind.

So for those that don't want a relationship and are happier in other settings ......Should YOU be?"

I’m happier single.

There are a myriad of reasons why I prefer and am happier with my life the way it is now… but the main one is trust… that and the fact I’m tired of giving all of myself to someone and have them toss it aside like it means nothing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otSoPetiteMortWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"I think I'm just convinced I'm not lovable, convinced my previous partners didn't actually love me truly and I've just given up completely on the idea.

To give myself and have it discarded by another ....not again. I'm done. I accept I'm shit, as much as that hurts like fuck.

I'm trying to work on myself too. And it's hard as I've just had two people discard me and it just massively reinforces that I think I'm a shit person. I don't want to be another disappointment and waste of someone else's time.

But maybe I'm ok in small doses.

Beside that, life circumstances mean I either make a sacrifice I just can't do. Or I put it on someone else. So regardless of the above I'm fucked anyway."

I think the problem is, people are put under so much pressure to find a partner and settle down that we start calculating our self-worth from the love of other people and our ability to form and maintain a romantic relationship because that's what society expects you to do...

I think you are doing the right thing by focusing on yourself because that sounds like what you need. You need to find out who you are and find what makes you happy outside of a relationship.

At the end of the day, relationships aren't the be all and end all and sometimes they are more hassle than they're worth.

And by the way, the happiest people I know chose to remain single...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I've had 3 nesting partners in my life. When I met each one of them it felt qualitatively different. Put simply, we just didn't want to put each other down.

When I met my wife lol, we spent the first 3 months, at least, just living in hotels. We lost our jobs, friends were texting saying wtf has happened to you? Someone called the police and we had to go to the station so she could tell them she was not missing. I suffered friction burns to my penis .

I was seeing two other women before we met. One asked to meet her. We went and stayed at hers. She said 'I get it that's real love, I love you like that but I can't do it, I'd fuck it up'. The other woman not quite so gracious.

18 years later she died and like Ariel said above - that nearly killed me too. I think if someone comes along where it feels so consummate again, I'll be terrified.

Should? I mean it's probably completely stupid. Yet if I had my time over I'd do it all again, knowing the same outcome.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be a serial monogamist

Then realised none of my relationships had ever gone beyond the 4 year mark. Clearly this was a "it's not you, it's me" thing. I love my flat being full of my crap and not having to share my space with anyone. I like young, pretty playthings and just don't have the desire to settle down ever.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A


"In my head, I'd love to have the 'one' but I know in reality it will never happen.

I have major trust issues and I could never let one person into my life fully. I know I'd fuck it up and it's just not worth it for me, unfortunately my ex will forever live in my head.

Plus I have plans to get a pack of huskies and a man would just ruin that.

Multiple fwbs is the way forward. All the good bits without the stress and commitment. What's not to like."

I had a husky. Rescued her from Gibraltar RSPCA. They were going to put her down, she was too feral to re-home they said. I said let me take her then, give her a chance.

The most possessive partner I ever had . She would snarl and show her teeth to any woman who talked to me.

It's a fair trade I reckon.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

I’m selfish.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

I have been there and done that, it takes way too much energy and time to try to please someone else 24/7.

I'd not say forever as maybe I've never met the right one. Certainly for now I'm happy enough doing as I please.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon


"I think I'm just convinced I'm not lovable, convinced my previous partners didn't actually love me truly and I've just given up completely on the idea.

To give myself and have it discarded by another ....not again. I'm done. I accept I'm shit, as much as that hurts like fuck.

I'm trying to work on myself too. And it's hard as I've just had two people discard me and it just massively reinforces that I think I'm a shit person. I don't want to be another disappointment and waste of someone else's time.

But maybe I'm ok in small doses.

Beside that, life circumstances mean I either make a sacrifice I just can't do. Or I put it on someone else. So regardless of the above I'm fucked anyway."

What makes you not lovable? I’ve just ended a 25yr marriage but I still love her and she still loves me, I would now say we’re more not compatible now…..(long complicated story) just because your now not compatible doesn’t mean your not lovable or can’t be loved in the future!!

Why also believe your shit? And why except it? Just because of other peoples short sightedness or lack of commitment doesn’t make you shit, maybe your better off without these type of people blocking your path to achieve happiness.

Have fun, enjoy life and don’t look for love or commitment as when it happens unexpectedly it’s a lot better…..

I hope you don’t feel shit for long as life is short and is there to be lived and loved

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London


"You do what works for you and fuck what society thinks is “normal”.

"

I agree

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do and I don't.

It's about finding the right balance. It seems lately, people I've dated, haven't given me enough space or time to myself.

Perhaps I need to communicate that I value alone time and I don't need someone to message me constantly throughout the day.

"

Im like this, i like my own space... i dont want to have to be considerate to someone else after a stressful day at work

But i quite like the idea of a part time partner... for social activities and holidays

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"I don't want a serious relationship because I don't have the physical, mental or emotional energy to maintain one.

I'm also very unfit and have health issues that would put anyone off of committing.

I don't want to give up my long term sex buddy just yet.

Lastly, I don't want to clean up after another person.

"

Pretty much all of this, I don't have the energy to give to one person full time. I'm not always very well, so wouldn't want to be any kind of burden or let down.

Plus I have a really short attention span, and once I've gone off someone, that's kind of it.

I like variety, never met anyone who could fulfill all my needs/wants.

I don't think there's any "should" about it. It's not the 1950s, not many people live that stereotype.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *egDaySkipperMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I do want a partner but nobody wants me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

My lifestyle and travel doesn’t suit a relationship. I feel I could go back to a relationship in future but It would need to be FWB first for several years to be sure they were the one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng


"I used to think I wanted happy ever after and in my mind I thought that meant with someone.

I've realised that happy ever after starts and ends with me.

I don't need someone to complete me. I'm already whole.

"

This. Absolutely this.

I love love. It makes me so happy to see people in love.

Even at the worst point of my last break up which was incredibly difficult I still believed in love even if I couldn't have coped with it right then. Buuuuuut if I never fall in love again I will still be great. I am still a whole and happy person at my core. If I do fall in love again then also great.

I was incredibly lonely only 6 months ago but that was a feeling of not having people in my corner. Of feeling misunderstood by friends. Not because of a lack of partner.

I think my love of love and my love of others being in love drives my interest in Poly and ENM actually.

I am open to serious but I am not seeking it because I don't need to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

For those that are confused and would maybe like one I'm here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oft_SensualTV/TS
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Relationships take two honest hearts to make good and therein lies the problem.

It's seldom ever about you and always really about them, in my experience..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm happy regardless of the relationship. I'll take what comes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top