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Attachment styles

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Which are you? Are you aware if its causing issues?

Does it effect your interactions on fab?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are the options please, OP?

It depends which theory you have in mind

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’m secure, my ex was avoidant and it didn’t go too well*

*Massive understatement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are the options please, OP?

…"

What he said^.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral

Secure

Anxious

Avoidant

Anxious-avoidant

I'm aware people don't all fit in boxes and that styles change in response to events and that a spectrum is probably more appropriate but for the sake of a forum post.... Which are you?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs

I am secure and avoid drama llamas at all costs, which includes friendships, I have my own life to lead, not be dragged into other people's disasters...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anxious-avoidant..

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I believe I'm avoidant

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"I am secure and avoid drama llamas at all costs, which includes friendships, I have my own life to lead, not be dragged into other people's disasters..."

Security doesn't prevent drama completely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anxious in relationships (I'm working in this) it doesn't affect nsa attached sex though.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anxious-avoidant.. "

Does it effect how you are on here? Are you aware of it happening?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoidant, so leave me alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid avoid avoid.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"I believe I'm avoidant "

It can be a challenge for others to understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was Secure in a relationship, always was.

But trust is hard to find/give now, so yep. Anxious/avoid,

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anxious in relationships (I'm working in this) it doesn't affect nsa attached sex though. "

It's not easy to change is it. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't really do attachments as i have a thirst for being free.

Can work against on Fab because alot of people like some kind of attachment or atleast not one offs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which are you? Are you aware if its causing issues?

Does it effect your interactions on fab? "

What about you op?

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Don't really do attachments as i have a thirst for being free.

Can work against on Fab because alot of people like some kind of attachment or atleast not one offs "

Possibly avoidant then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anxious

But I think fab works for me because I know they aren't necessarily going to be relationships and the pressure is off. I know they can walk away at any time, someone else might get their attention and they lose interest in me. But because it's the nature of the scene it feels like a safe space as I don't need to be so anxious.

Fuck I don't even like reading that back.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I have absolutely no idea and have never given it a moment's thought. I just am.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs


"I am secure and avoid drama llamas at all costs, which includes friendships, I have my own life to lead, not be dragged into other people's disasters...

Security doesn't prevent drama completely! "

Me being secure doesn't prevent any one else being a drama llama. It's simply not something I am and I don't wish to partake in anyone else's

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

Hey you

I've only heard of these in child psychology before. And I've taken a random quiz on the internet and I'm told I'm anxious aviodant, I'm not a fan of traditional relationships so I don't care makes no difference to fab for me

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Which are you? Are you aware if its causing issues?

Does it effect your interactions on fab?

What about you op?

"

I'm mostly secure. It can be a real challenge understanding the way people are if they differ from your style. That's why I ask!

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"I have absolutely no idea and have never given it a moment's thought. I just am. "

Secure then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't really do attachments as i have a thirst for being free.

Can work against on Fab because alot of people like some kind of attachment or atleast not one offs

Possibly avoidant then?

"

Anxious aviodant if chosing one of those options... Just because of being free for me though

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I have absolutely no idea and have never given it a moment's thought. I just am.

Secure then! "

I don't believe my darling husband has ever thought about it either, but he's not here for me to ask. I only know about secure attachment etc when it comes to parenting.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Hey you

I've only heard of these in child psychology before. And I've taken a random quiz on the internet and I'm told I'm anxious aviodant, I'm not a fan of traditional relationships so I don't care makes no difference to fab for me "

It started off in child psychology but has been applied to adult relationships too. I think it probably works with D/s relationships too.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Anxious

But I think fab works for me because I know they aren't necessarily going to be relationships and the pressure is off. I know they can walk away at any time, someone else might get their attention and they lose interest in me. But because it's the nature of the scene it feels like a safe space as I don't need to be so anxious.

Fuck I don't even like reading that back.

"

It is interesting how, knowing your style makes you more aware of it. Is that what you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which are you? Are you aware if its causing issues?

Does it effect your interactions on fab? "

Attachment? In relation to swinging? We go with non-existent. We have friendships within swinging but there is no attachment.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"Which are you? Are you aware if its causing issues?

Does it effect your interactions on fab?

Attachment? In relation to swinging? We go with non-existent. We have friendships within swinging but there is no attachment."

Fair enough. Some prefer FWB setup for example.

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

I wont attch to anyone again so that type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, the love languages are more important when it comes to fab

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By *ab FunstersCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Fab encounters are passing fancies no attachment given or required by me

( mrs)..mr prefers a connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Which are you? Are you aware if its causing issues?

Does it effect your interactions on fab? "

I think it would be helpful if you gave a definition of the attachment styles, for thise that don't know anything about them, or how they play out in life.

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By *acDreamy OP   Man
over a year ago

Wirral


"For me, the love languages are more important when it comes to fab"

Which of those is more you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me, the love languages are more important when it comes to fab

Which of those is more you? "

Words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch.

Basically I want to feel desired and I'm very tactile

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

Where is the "nutter" option?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where is the "nutter" option?"

In the asylum of fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the style where my lips are attached to hers…

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By *XXDREAMMan
over a year ago

sudbury


"I am secure and avoid drama llamas at all costs, which includes friendships, I have my own life to lead, not be dragged into other people's disasters..."

This is how I’ve ended up with 2 whole friends

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

Did the online test...

Anxious Preoccupied apparently...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never looked at this before. I did a quiz and it would seem I'm "fearful avoidant". Makes sense why I'm not meeting!

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I wasnt aware but I am apparently avoidant (fearful).

If this means once bitten, twice shy, in old money, then I would tend to agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people want to know more about attachment styles. Read up on Bowlby and Ainsworth. The psychologists who coined the theory of attachment styles.

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

Secure according to the online quizes over the last 10 years. Don't think I always was though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Secure according to the online quizes over the last 10 years. Don't think I always was though. "

Styles change as life and environmental situations change, and we change, new relationships are formed. To name a few influences to change in attachment styles, we can also be a combination of all of them.

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant


"If people want to know more about attachment styles. Read up on Bowlby and Ainsworth. The psychologists who coined the theory of attachment styles. "

For children though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people want to know more about attachment styles. Read up on Bowlby and Ainsworth. The psychologists who coined the theory of attachment styles. "

Why. What will it do?

I’m reading Emily Brontë.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/07/23 18:44:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If people want to know more about attachment styles. Read up on Bowlby and Ainsworth. The psychologists who coined the theory of attachment styles.

For children though "

OK if you want more up to date, Hazan and Shaver's work on attachment style was all about adults

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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago

Chorley, Eng


"Secure according to the online quizes over the last 10 years. Don't think I always was though.

Styles change as life and environmental situations change, and we change, new relationships are formed. To name a few influences to change in attachment styles, we can also be a combination of all of them."

Ahhh yeah that makes sense. I have worked a lot on myself in the last 10 years. I think understanding attachment styles a bit helped me with other people more though.

Of course all my work and I have ended up here on fab so you can be the judge if that work has paid off.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever the wind takes me

Anxious probably. I’m an anxious person!!

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By *bonybucksMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

I’ve got Anxious attachment style. I think stems from having an abusive mother who used to beat me up a lot and call me names. Even on her deathbed she knew how to make me feel inadequate. 5 years she’s been gone and I’m glad but it’s affecting my relationships now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Secure according to the online quizes over the last 10 years. Don't think I always was though.

Styles change as life and environmental situations change, and we change, new relationships are formed. To name a few influences to change in attachment styles, we can also be a combination of all of them.

Ahhh yeah that makes sense. I have worked a lot on myself in the last 10 years. I think understanding attachment styles a bit helped me with other people more though.

Of course all my work and I have ended up here on fab so you can be the judge if that work has paid off. "

I have no place to judge I went from a crack house to fab...so,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a test. Secure is my attachment style. wtf! Anyway, wheres my certificate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Secure according to the online quizes over the last 10 years. Don't think I always was though.

Styles change as life and environmental situations change, and we change, new relationships are formed. To name a few influences to change in attachment styles, we can also be a combination of all of them.

Ahhh yeah that makes sense. I have worked a lot on myself in the last 10 years. I think understanding attachment styles a bit helped me with other people more though.

Of course all my work and I have ended up here on fab so you can be the judge if that work has paid off.

I have no place to judge I went from a crack house to fab...so, "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr is secure.

Mrs is anxious.

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