FabSwingers.com forum: I can deliver!… what do you want?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

A certain someone please Woody

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An oreo and peanut butter milkshake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My exes head...can I say that??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A certain someone please Woody

Who? I’m not a mind reader aswell.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Mint matchmakers please, I think I'd actually suck/lick anyone who could find them, god dam Christmas only chocolates!!

Mrs

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Penis

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Could you come over and switch my TV on please?

Then could you find me a good film?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good nights sleep.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

I've been craving wagamamas and they don't deliver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mcdonalds please

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Couple of rubbery gimp boys with maid uniforms... please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely some tea bags. Yorkshire tea. I’m all out

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"An oreo and peanut butter milkshake

I'll have what he's having

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A service where you stroke my back for an hour ...and then my hair.

I really need to be more careful with my typos as that read strike instead of stroke till I proof read.

Though I'd have possibly liked that too

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Penis

How uncanny I have one of those

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mint matchmakers please, I think I'd actually suck/lick anyone who could find them, god dam Christmas only chocolates!!

Mrs "

*Rushes to Homebargains…….

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"A certain someone please Woody

Who? I’m not a mind reader aswell.

Like I'm gonna say ..

You should be a mind reader

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A good nights sleep."

*hands a Horlicks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A certain someone please Woody

Who? I’m not a mind reader aswell.

Like I'm gonna say ..

You should be a mind reader

"
I’m that case. I hope #theyknow.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Penis

What did you just call me?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A service where you stroke my back for an hour ...and then my hair.

I really need to be more careful with my typos as that read strike instead of stroke till I proof read.

Though I'd have possibly liked that too

I need glasses as I read back hair

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been craving wagamamas and they don't deliver

My Ubereats delivers that here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A service where you stroke my back for an hour ...and then my hair.

I really need to be more careful with my typos as that read strike instead of stroke till I proof read.

Though I'd have possibly liked that too

Head massage too?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Condoms

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"I've been craving wagamamas and they don't deliver

My Ubereats delivers that here.

I'm too far away from my nearest one....

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Woody, if you could a certain someone in the middle of nowhere where there's no mobile data. I'll pay double

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My exes head...can I say that?? "

You just did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A service where you stroke my back for an hour ...and then my hair.

I really need to be more careful with my typos as that read strike instead of stroke till I proof read.

Though I'd have possibly liked that too

Head massage too? "

Yes please....I'd be all suggestible at that point!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Condoms"

How many?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Woody, if you could a certain someone in the middle of nowhere where there's no mobile data. I'll pay double "

No questions asked?…..

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I actually would really like a Snickers please. And 3 chips from the chippy. Any more and I'll feel sick.

Thanks Woody.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Woody, if you could a certain someone in the middle of nowhere where there's no mobile data. I'll pay double

No questions asked?…..

Best way just don't look in the bag either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My camper van back from the garage and ready to head on an adventure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A service where you stroke my back for an hour ...and then my hair.

I really need to be more careful with my typos as that read strike instead of stroke till I proof read.

Though I'd have possibly liked that too

Head massage too?

Yes please....I'd be all suggestible at that point! "

Light a Yankee candle ,…I’m on my way.

*1hr delivery service guarantee is only available in the Mcr area.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My camper van back from the garage and ready to head on an adventure "

If I drive and deliver your van,…. How do I get back home?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A decent curry and maybe a nice back scratch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I actually would really like a Snickers please. And 3 chips from the chippy. Any more and I'll feel sick.

Thanks Woody."

I’ll eat the other chips. … I’ll leave the crispy ones for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?"

Actually….

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I actually would really like a Snickers please. And 3 chips from the chippy. Any more and I'll feel sick.

Thanks Woody.

I’ll eat the other chips. … I’ll leave the crispy ones for you.

This feels like a win/win

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"A certain someone please Woody

Who? I’m not a mind reader aswell.

Like I'm gonna say ..

You should be a mind reader

I’m that case. I hope #theyknow.

Probably not but oh well

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience "

You can do half each and have a share of the spoils.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience "

I’ve been undercut from a rival roof delivery service!!!

*cries.

This is a cutthroat business.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience

I’ve been undercut from a rival roof delivery service!!!

*cries.

This is a cutthroat business.

Nah I'd come n help you out Woody...I woundnt poach business

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience

You can do half each and have a share of the spoils.

After all its a swingers site, the more the merrier

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience

You can do half each and have a share of the spoils.

After all its a swingers site, the more the merrier "

Sounds like a plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mint matchmakers please, I think I'd actually suck/lick anyone who could find them, god dam Christmas only chocolates!!

Mrs "
are aldi had them other week 1.25 bought two boxes gone by the weekend dam gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Brilliant!!!!!

I’ll keep the meter running if you keep me waiting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"A roof, can you fit them, are you a roofer?

Actually….

I make a lovely brew and biscuits a plenty.

On the basis of the basis of brew n biscuits....Woody ill let you know I've got 15 years roofing experience

You can do half each and have a share of the spoils.

After all its a swingers site, the more the merrier

Sounds like a plan

Gotta keep it real, group fun is good fun

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude"

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Brilliant!!!!!

I’ll keep the meter running if you keep me waiting.

You’re not staying in the car are you?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

go to the bar , get me a fucking drink !

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Woody is gonna drop me off

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Not a fan of liver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex please. I'd like sex. Please deliver ASAP.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Pick me up on the way through, I wanna see my mate Grumps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Woody is gonna drop me off

I best wash my duvet then

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Pick me up on the way through, I wanna see my mate Grumps "

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Pick me up on the way through, I wanna see my mate Grumps "

Woody this is turning into quite the roadtrip. That ok?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

We’re in the jungle baby!!!!!

*one for the rock music nerds!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

3rd Rock from the sun

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

We’re in the jungle baby!!!!!

*one for the rock music nerds!

We're gonna die...

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

go to the bar , get me a fucking drink !"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

We’re in the jungle baby!!!!!

*one for the rock music nerds!

We're gonna die...

Lol"

*knucklebump

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

go to the bar , get me a fucking drink !"

Way to not get served

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

Strong hands and massage oil, please Woody

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Strong hands and massage oil, please Woody

*massage oil out of stock, replaced with Tiger Balm*

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

3rd Rock from the sun

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

We’re in the jungle baby!!!!!

*one for the rock music nerds!

We're gonna die...

Lol

*knucklebump"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

10 grand to learn to drive?

How many lessons do you fucking need, even a blind person could pass before you!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

3rd Rock from the sun

"A certain someone please Woody

Who? I’m not a mind reader aswell.

Like I'm gonna say ..

You should be a mind reader

You could just tell him privately lol

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Wôôdy, my fine fellow...can you please kindly deliver Bøø and Grumpy. I would like see them fight each other for the last chip from the last bowl of chips.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

We’re in the jungle baby!!!!!

*one for the rock music nerds!

You're gonna die

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Wôôdy, my fine fellow...can you please kindly deliver Bøø and Grumpy. I would like see them fight each other for the last chip from the last bowl of chips."

Now that's a contest haha

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

10 grand to learn to drive?

How many lessons do you fucking need, even a blind person could pass before you!

But I need a car haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sex please. I'd like sex. Please deliver ASAP.

Would you like to go large?

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

3rd Rock from the sun

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

10 grand to learn to drive?

How many lessons do you fucking need, even a blind person could pass before you!

I couldn't!!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

10 grand to learn to drive?

How many lessons do you fucking need, even a blind person could pass before you!

I spat my cuppa out when I read that

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By *archelCouple
over a year ago

A field somewhere

[Removed by poster at 11/07/23 20:16:40]

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By *archelCouple
over a year ago

A field somewhere

A box of Cadbury spira and a case of Ben shaws space special please.

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By *reative-mindMan
over a year ago

Exeter

A new back, arms and legs. These ache after exercising this evening.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

"Strong hands and massage oil, please Woody

*massage oil out of stock, replaced with Tiger Balm*

I'd rather be bathed in mayo than that shite

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Strong hands and massage oil, please Woody

*massage oil out of stock, replaced with Tiger Balm*

I'd rather be bathed in mayo than that shite

generic or branded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex please. I'd like sex. Please deliver ASAP.

Would you like to go large?

Yes please, she usually has small/regular depending on who you ask

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A new back, arms and legs. These ache after exercising this evening. "

Second ‘hand’ arms?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wôôdy, my fine fellow...can you please kindly deliver Bøø and Grumpy. I would like see them fight each other for the last chip from the last bowl of chips."

He wouldn't dare take the last chip Nero

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

Cuddles, hair strokes and with big strong arms please

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By *ornyhertscouple41Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

"
cocaine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

10 grand to learn to drive?

How many lessons do you fucking need, even a blind person could pass before you!

I spat my cuppa out when I read that

I'm getting you a bib..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sex please. I'd like sex. Please deliver ASAP.

Would you like to go large?

Yes please, she usually has small/regular depending on who you ask

There’s a special offer on my Nuggets too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, Woody.....my milkshake didn't arrive

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Erm, Woody.....my milkshake didn't arrive

There’s a pint of flavoured milk on its way…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm, Woody.....my milkshake didn't arrive

There’s a pint of flavoured milk on its way…..

I applaud your commitment!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My camper van back from the garage and ready to head on an adventure

If I drive and deliver your van,…. How do I get back home?

I’ll drop you off on my way somewhere

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Could you give me a lift to go and see Grumps please Woody?

Erm.....rude

Sorry. To go and see Grumps and Boo please Woody

You know where we are

Why am I always the one that's got to drive over to you!

Learn to drive

Lend me approximately 10 grand and I will

10 grand to learn to drive?

How many lessons do you fucking need, even a blind person could pass before you!

I spat my cuppa out when I read that

I'm getting you a bib..

I need one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you deliver someone to be waiting in my bed to be big spoon. I'm feeling a bit needy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you deliver someone to be waiting in my bed to be big spoon. I'm feeling a bit needy"

*volunteers as big spoon*

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Bring your teapot Woody, we’ll drink tea and be merry!

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By *ambi4uMan
over a year ago

Saint Helens

Bring me a shrubbery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some whipped cream if you can find any , bring the cream and I will whip it.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Could you bring me breakfast in bed please, Woody

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

"
Your car better have water forging capabilities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Woody, can you bring Tallman to my bed, please? I've not long left him, and I miss him already. Or someone else I can cuddle up to, I'm feeling a bit cwtchy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone now delivers something.. so I’m jumping on the band waggon. .. or in my car actually.

So if I do an Uber style delivery service, where I can be at your door in an hour. What do you want me to bring?

Your car better have water forging capabilities."

*checks the manual.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bring me a shrubbery.

A shrubbery???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some whipped cream if you can find any , bring the cream and I will whip it. "

If I can find cream?….. cute.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bring your teapot Woody, we’ll drink tea and be merry!"

I’ll watch you drink tea… as I sip my coffee.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My camper van back from the garage and ready to head on an adventure

If I drive and deliver your van,…. How do I get back home?

I’ll drop you off on my way somewhere "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you still divering?

Can I have a bacon roll to go with my coffee?

Also, the dog wonders if there are any more biscuits, so pop in to Tesco and pick up those bone shaped treats.

Thx.

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