FabSwingers.com forum: Are you realistic with who you message?

By *Liam OP Man
over a year ago

Midlands

I know men get alot of stick on here for not reading profiles and things. I totally see why, usually I just ignore messages from the male sex but today I opened one off a 60 year old man... like what am I supposed to want from an old man?

I did ask him that and he suggested I changed my attitude

Anyway it got me thinking, as someone who doesn't really go looking into the fab wilderness for profiles to message. Are you realistic with who you message? Or are you just an impulse messager?

Do you message people who you know are way different to you, or are 300 miles away?

Or I'll say it, out your league. Yes leagues do exist in peoples heads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mostly just message people on the forums, nothing in it really. Just some bants about the topic etc

But I don't really message folk outside the forums, can't be arsed with the graft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you get some answers to this cos its a question i often ask!!!

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By *oodsman1000Man
over a year ago

Hereford

I do read profiles. I message people who attract me (if filters allow). Don't get many replies though.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Similar to Drama. It's mostly forum based now. I mean I've messaged every other profile and had zero luck. So stick with the freaks of the forum.

I'll message anyone that I feel I want or need to (filters standing of course).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course I'm realistic.

Nothing is out of reach, nothing is insurmountable.

Sure some profiles have thousands upon thousands of messages, sit on hot pics regularly and attract all the attention.

I've broken through that noise plenty of times.

Will do again.

It's. Easy.

But then, I am the cockiest shit known to man.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Putting aside Fab friends and forumites, I've only sent three messages in the last two years. Any chats/engagements have been on the back of women messaging me, the majority of whom are hundreds of miles away.

With distance comes better quality; the nearer to London the worse they get. I have no idea why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there is no leagues on fab and most things are realistic for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very selective about who I message now. At the moment there's plenty of guys who are most definitely my type but I just haven't the energy or the time so I don't message.

Distance doesn't really come into for me either, I'm all for the looks and personality.

I'm generally off forum guys though, I think sometimes people just want to meet me so they can get the verification. Some make it bleeding obvious!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I don’t

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By *mf123Man
over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Il message who i want when i want it dont mean i want to fuck em

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By *Liam OP Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"Yes there is no leagues on fab and most things are realistic for me "
there definitely is

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By *Liam OP Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"Il message who i want when i want it dont mean i want to fuck em "
do you moan when you don't get the answer you'd like?

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Message folk we feel we'd get on with and potentially off too.. Age is irrelevant. Albeit in the case described if you not looking for guys we'd suggest he's the one who should readjust..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes there is no leagues on fab and most things are realistic for me there definitely is"

Nope there’s definitely not I can tell you that for shour

As anyone who thinks that isn’t worth my time to begin with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never messaged any man first in order to chat them up or at least attempt it.

Ones that I message are usually people I've already met at socials, so i already know them to message them first.

Just don't bother otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message who i think id get on with most

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the women who message me and I message back. We have great banter. Very complimentary of each other and generally have a good bit of humour together. There's others who've messaged me direct reply from a forum and they've again been very complimentary towards me, and I've reciprocated.

I don't think manners cost anything. Just because I reply and we have good "banter" some sexual it doesn't mean I'm going turn up on your door step flowers and cock in hand.

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By *Liam OP Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"Yes there is no leagues on fab and most things are realistic for me there definitely is

Nope there’s definitely not I can tell you that for shour

As anyone who thinks that isn’t worth my time to begin with "
they might not want your time though

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

I don't have expectations when I message people so no I don't think of people out of my league. I'm not expecting a shag! I've had loads of conversations on here only one led to fucking

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

Rarely send the first message, if we both like a profile we will wink and if they respond then we will message. We always read the whole profile, they wrote it for is to read at the end of the day.

Luna

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/07/23 17:07:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes there is no leagues on fab and most things are realistic for me there definitely is

Nope there’s definitely not I can tell you that for shour

As anyone who thinks that isn’t worth my time to begin with they might not want your time though"

Than that’s they loose not mine I know my worth I know what I bring to the table I am not a simp that can picked up and dropped like others there is no wasnt in to you them but am now type deal with me as I know my worth and I am worth more than that toxic bs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So why did you open his message and reply?

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By *Liam OP Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"So why did you open his message and reply?"
good question, I replied to say that what was the point in messaging me.

If you message someone you're going out there to get a reply. So you can't moan if the reply isn't what you've wanted. It's not like you've messaged them first to say no

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Yes, and seeing as I don’t message anyone I get on just real damn fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no idea who would or wouldn't fancy me anymore to be honest so the very few messages I send out are to people that I really like the look of and I match their 'looking for' regardless of if I think they're out of my league or whatever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So why did you open his message and reply? good question, I replied to say that what was the point in messaging me.

If you message someone you're going out there to get a reply. So you can't moan if the reply isn't what you've wanted. It's not like you've messaged them first to say no"

Yet you ignore males usually but decided to open one from someone you have no interest in at all just to ask him what would you want with an old man then come here and do this post?

Why?

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I don’t message, no. And I get lots of messages from people who aren’t realistic. I tell them I am happy to chat (if I’m bored) but I won’t meet them in person. They ask why, I say “because I’m not attracted to you” Then the abuse and being called a timewaster begins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I message people who I think I could potentially have a chance with meeting

Seems my judgment is possibly off as I don't have any luck at all

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We never message first!

We'll reply if they're a match and tickle our fancy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't message first.

However...

We would message anyone we fancied who meets what we are after... and if we of course matched what they were after.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Similar to Drama. It's mostly forum based now. I mean I've messaged every other profile and had zero luck. So stick with the freaks of the forum.

I'll message anyone that I feel I want or need to (filters standing of course)."

Every other profile except one (

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really

I expect the same delete of my message from everyone

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

I chat with people who live miles away, we know we are probably never going to meet because of the distance but it doesn't bother me as I like chatting to them. I will msg someone if something on their profile catches my eye, I like chatting to people doesn't always mean we are going to meet.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"I will msg someone if something on their profile catches my eye, I like chatting to people doesn't always mean we are going to meet."

In my case it rarely means a meet. I just find people interesting or intriguing.

I like to give compliments to womenn, couples and men as well. But once sent, I never check back...that way madness lies.

It's like a busy bar and you see some one wearing great shoes and you remark on it.

You don't wait outside expecting a blowie as a result do you ?

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By *aucyladMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Sometimes I may message in hope more than expectation of a reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair to you OP you do have a age range set on your profile. He is above that, so he was chancing his luck!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've never been a machine gunner.

I've always preferred to operate as a sniper, choosing carefully before taking aim and allowing for windage and elevation which has more often than not had a successful outcome.

I haven't done any of that, not even once, since January 2020 and it has had zero effect on my engagement here.

Every conversation in 3½ years has been started by others.

Some of those have been tank drivers expecting me to surrender or be run over.

Some have whipped out their blunderbuss and hit everything within a 100 yard radius except what my profile shows I am looking for.

A few have had better aim.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair to you OP you do have a age range set on your profile. He is above that, so he was chancing his luck! "

Above the age AND the wrong sex

I don't message as I'm not looking. But I'm realistic, so I wouldn't contact anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message everyone online. If they are on Fab they are looking to fuck right now.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
over a year ago

In the clouds

I rarely message first, but don't often reply if I think I'm out of their league

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will message who I find attractive or like their profile bio, if they reply, well that’s down to them

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I think we're realistic in that we only message those we think we might be a good fit for.

If we're too old /too far away or they're after bi Fems specifically,we wouldn't get in touch.

I think it would just be wasting our own time tbh if we did .

Miss

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

There are no leagues in my head. If I like someone I message them. If it’s a no I’m a big girl I can cope.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I message who I like, but I'm realistic about who may potentially reply

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"I'm very selective about who I message now. At the moment there's plenty of guys who are most definitely my type but I just haven't the energy or the time so I don't message.

Distance doesn't really come into for me either, I'm all for the looks and personality.

I'm generally off forum guys though, I think sometimes people just want to meet me so they can get the verification. Some make it bleeding obvious!!

FAV?? Fancy a verification? Fuck optional xx

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Im realistic- i will message anyone i like that meets my criteria- if they say no it’s obvious to me that their profile is missing the phrase - ‘ I don’t want the best fuck of my entire life!!’

So I move on!!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Im realistic- i will message anyone i like that meets my criteria- if they say no it’s obvious to me that their profile is missing the phrase - ‘ I don’t want the best fuck of my entire life!!’

So I move on!!

Smooth talking bastard

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I know men get alot of stick on here for not reading profiles and things. I totally see why, usually I just ignore messages from the male sex but today I opened one off a 60 year old man... like what am I supposed to want from an old man?

I did ask him that and he suggested I changed my attitude

Anyway it got me thinking, as someone who doesn't really go looking into the fab wilderness for profiles to message. Are you realistic with who you message? Or are you just an impulse messager?

Do you message people who you know are way different to you, or are 300 miles away?

Or I'll say it, out your league. Yes leagues do exist in peoples heads"

Maybe same as u would want from an old lady?? X

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By *Liam OP Man
over a year ago

Midlands

"So why did you open his message and reply? good question, I replied to say that what was the point in messaging me.

If you message someone you're going out there to get a reply. So you can't moan if the reply isn't what you've wanted. It's not like you've messaged them first to say no

Yet you ignore males usually but decided to open one from someone you have no interest in at all just to ask him what would you want with an old man then come here and do this post?

Why?"
the question i'm asking is to do with that message. Anything else you want to get off your chest?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Pfft.

I message people, but mainly just for conversation, because they're way, way out of my league.

I've been pleasantly surprised a couple of times that they've wanted more though. Is nice when that happens. And a shock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pfft.

I message people, but mainly just for conversation, because they're way, way out of my league.

I've been pleasantly surprised a couple of times that they've wanted more though. Is nice when that happens. And a shock

You told me I was ghastly

I even trimmed my monobrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I message everyone that’s out of my league.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's rare that I send a first message. If I find someone hot then I might fab a photo. Sometimes they will message a thank you and the ball gets rolling that way. If they don't then oh well, they're not interested.

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By *urvelover87Man
over a year ago

stevenage

Depends. Most times I read the profile and see if we have something in common then message. Other I just reply to some status that made me laugh, or compliment for a pic or video I particularly liked (making it clear that it's just compliments and not a "fuk now plz" request)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So why did you open his message and reply? good question, I replied to say that what was the point in messaging me.

If you message someone you're going out there to get a reply. So you can't moan if the reply isn't what you've wanted. It's not like you've messaged them first to say no

Yet you ignore males usually but decided to open one from someone you have no interest in at all just to ask him what would you want with an old man then come here and do this post?

Why? the question i'm asking is to do with that message. Anything else you want to get off your chest?"

My chest is just fine wee man but ty for asking. You say people cant moan cause they dont get the reply they want. Same applies to threads. I was just curious as to why you had to initially make a bit of a fool of the person when you could just have asked your question without the preamble.

That's all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message lots of people, depends on my mood who. If someone has an interesting profile, regardless of age and location, I'll drop them a message. I've connected with some people I'll never meet but that's ok.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Rarely message, if I do then it's either through the forums, or within a realistic radius, based on there profile

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I hope I am

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I hope I am

A wonderful woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope I am

Hope you are?

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

Outside of forums I've never messaged first unless it's a friend I haven't been in touch with in a while.

I guess it's different for women though.

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I don’t really message people, it’s really that I do. But I do read profiles.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Judging by the responses, it seems not. Oh well!

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I did ask him that and he suggested I changed my attitude

No choice , puching below my weight

Anyway it got me thinking, as someone who doesn't really go looking into the fab wilderness for profiles to message. Are you realistic with who you message? Or are you just an impulse messager?

Do you message people who you know are way different to you, or are 300 miles away?

Or I'll say it, out your league. Yes leagues do exist in peoples heads"

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I don't believe in leagues, I've dated people that if I thought they existed that I never would have.

Someone will either find you attractive or they won't and if you're too shy or don't think you stand a chance then you will probably miss out.

So basically my answer is no, I just message someone if I want to and see what happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message mostly local to me or the west mids where I spend a fair bit of time also.

Other than that just general chat with those who aren't realistic local meets

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

I don't think I've ever messaged someone first, especially people I find attractive.. and that's mostly because I'm scared they'll find me repulsive .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most people are out of my league so I message more in hope than expectation.

You can’t win if you don’t play

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I message guys I like

Whether they like me, is totally out of my control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a social media platform, and some people like being social.

Perhaps I'm not in the set that gets flooded with messages. In fact, I get none.

On that note, I'll get back in my box...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I message guys I like

Whether they like me, is totally out of my control

So if we've never had a message from you - you don't like us

(Checks messages just in case)

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