FabSwingers.com forum: 1st time

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Meeting someone for a social for the first time. What do you do, if they turn up, look exactly how you expected, but don't act the way they portray themselves online?

Do you;

A) Go with it to be polite, have your drink, conversation. Etc.

B) Make an excuse as to why you have to cut the social short?

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By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bingley

"Meeting someone for a social for the first time. What do you do, if they turn up, look exactly how you expected, but don't act the way they portray themselves online?

Do you;

A) Go with it to be polite, have your drink, conversation. Etc.

B) Make an excuse as to why you have to cut the social short?"
A let it play out get to know them more and then just see what happens from there. Presuming you mean they act worse than how they portray themselves ?

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Let it play out and see what happens unless they are seriously not for us

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By *ohndom2023Man
over a year ago

Hastings/Greenwich

Give them the respect they are due for meeting and give them your full attention until the meeting ends naturally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Go with it. See how they and their personality lines up, or how far off the mark it is. Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad. If they are far from what I like then I'll end it.

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Option A .. never going to not finish a drink .

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub."

In that partic case and scenario I'm ending it.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes we have come across this in the past and it was just down to them being nervous, just carry on with the meet and see how things go, it's going to be hard to tell that soon.

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By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

Personally I’d stay as I wouldn’t like it if someone cut it short on me….what’s the harm and you wouldn’t have to see them again anyway…

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By *oneyBear100Couple
over a year ago

Gatwick area

Let the social play out, lots of people suffer from nerves etc and this gives them a chance to relax into it and reveal the actual them too. (For good or bad)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m still waiting for my first meet. Hopefully it comes soon.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Forum vs face to face is always different, people have a chance to edit a sentence before it is posted but speech is freestyle a d once it's out you can't put the genie back in the bottle. See how it plays out, if they don't do it for you, feel free to GTFO, but at least give them a chance.

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Hey it's a coffee, I can chat to anyone over a coffee. If it's awkward that'll be obvious to all involved and may not mean a second cup. No harm done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cant beat the face to face in person connnection.

haveing to high expectations are not a good thing.

Go with the flow,and create a vibe and mental chemistry and connection.

For me its networking and meeting people i would not out of my circle ,work or otherwise.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!"

You need a gentleman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are in for a shock if they think I am like I am on fab in real life. I’m better. Still a SJW though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s largely down to the individual as we all react differently to situations, such as that.

Personally, I’d try to adapt to the circumstance, unless I become the direct target of this change, then I’d draw a line under things.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Depends on many factors, A or B

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

That's happened to me, I carry on as I'm probably too polite to cut it short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just shows,many can and will type a good convo. But the real tale is in the flesh meet up,you cant hide much,some still can,i call the first 6 months the Honeymoon stage/period if good behaviour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are in for a shock if they think I am like I am on fab in real life. I’m better. Still a SJW though. "

Whats a SJW??

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"People are in for a shock if they think I am like I am on fab in real life. I’m better. Still a SJW though.

Whats a SJW?? "

Sexy jumper wearer

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Meeting someone for a social for the first time. What do you do, if they turn up, look exactly how you expected, but don't act the way they portray themselves online?

Do you;

A) Go with it to be polite, have your drink, conversation. Etc.

B) Make an excuse as to why you have to cut the social short?"

I shake my head in disgust, stamp my feet and spit my dummy out....

I don't have any expectations as to how anyone will behave based on a forum persona.....as its just that a persona....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I feel like I'd at least give them a chance and stay for a while unless they were obnoxious.

I know that I come across differently the first time meeting someone because I kind of put up a wall because of how anxious I feel and it takes a while to ease the real me out. I don't expect anyone to be exactly who they are online anyway, we will all differ slightly once we are sat face to face able to read expressions and tones etc.

If we don't click I'll politely tell someone I'm not interested in taking taking further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a gentleman

She dont need to be told,what she needs.

Use instincts,experience etc. And make the decisions what suit your circumstances,respect,value,worth,ssfty how you feel,or how your made to feel via conversation,looks given,understood and many factors taken into account!

looks dont over weigh behaviour,views,principles for me.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

You need a gentleman

Are you that Gentleman

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'd go with it for a short time at least, if it wasn't going well I'd just cut it short.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a gentleman

Are you that Gentleman

Lol. Actions speak louder than any words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are in for a shock if they think I am like I am on fab in real life. I’m better. Still a SJW though.

Whats a SJW??

Sexy jumper wearer"

Cheers for the info share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why it's a social. Play it out until the end and hope they don't contact me again

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
over a year ago

Beverley

As someone who talks relentlessly at first, is always give someone the time they need to settle down and be themselves. If being themselves is still a bit of a clash, or just a dick, then that's a different story

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub."

People are often very different in real life than online.

Are you seriously asking for advice on how to conduct a social ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say play it out until the end, they could be just nervous and hiding behind a mask so to speak to see how you are. If after a while that you feel they really aren't for you then politely bring the social to a close and leave

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub.

People are often very different in real life than online.

Are you seriously asking for advice on how to conduct a social ? "

No. I'm intrigued how everyone else would react under that situation.

Without wanting to quote forest gump, I'm going to quote forest gump.

"Life's a box of chocolates..."

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

One of my first ever online meets was so different from how I thought he would be. Not least because his photo was really out of date.

I did think about escaping, but decided to be polite. As we got chatting more naturally, I discovered that we got on really well.

I think you do have to allow for the fact that someone can be really nervous at an initial meeting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's why it's a social. Play it out until the end and hope they don't contact me again

This is pretty much me. I'd suffer my own awkwardness not to appear rude. And then think "thank fuck that's over" and then maybe giggle in my head.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Weve had both ends of the spectrum

They turn up looking a million dollars , and are dull as dishwasher

They turn up and instantly its , there's no way

And hour later your a sweaty tangled heap of bodies

Sometimes you never know how it will play out

Don't pre judge people , you may well be surprised

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Weve had both ends of the spectrum

They turn up looking a million dollars , and are dull as dishwasher

They turn up and instantly its , there's no way

And hour later your a sweaty tangled heap of bodies

Sometimes you never know how it will play out

Don't pre judge people , you may well be surprised

brilliant outlook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finish one drink and make excuses unless you think they can handle polite no thanks in person. If you know they don't it for you - no point in extending suffering. And giving fake hopes.

Ps. Or just skip social next time if they are so irrestible than you consider abandoning your morals

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

A... I'm too polite to do anything else

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Have a drink and then call time on it and leave.

Unless they were a weirdo and gave me weirdo vibes, then I’d leg it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Finish one drink and make excuses unless you think they can handle polite no thanks in person. If you know they don't it for you - no point in extending suffering. And giving fake hopes.

Ps. Or just skip social next time if they are so irrestible than you consider abandoning your morals

Morals thrown overboard

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

You need a gentleman

Are you that Gentleman

Lol. Actions speak louder than any words. "

Said like a true Gent...get your coat love you've pulled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had this actually, most are the loveable sarcastic twats they come across as on here.

But if they weren't then my face would say it all. Followed by my mouth.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Weve had both ends of the spectrum

They turn up looking a million dollars , and are dull as dishwasher

They turn up and instantly its , there's no way

And hour later your a sweaty tangled heap of bodies

Sometimes you never know how it will play out

Don't pre judge people , you may well be surprised

This all day long

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Enjoy the social, assuming that they behaviour is reasonable. Cut some slack, as meetings can be tough going for many people

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

A... nerves fuck so many socials up. If I like him, I'd go for a second social and see what his personality averages are

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've never walked out of a social because usually by the time I meet anyone we've been chatting for quite a while and I have a good idea how genuine they are.

I'm not infallible though and have been caught out by attitudes and entitlement on a couple of occasions.

Some people are very good at maintaining a persona long enough to get through an initial social but revert to type in subsequent conversations.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub."

Be polite, but be honest. I am glad to have met you, but I am not feeling it, so I will be heading off now.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

I’d like to think I’d stay to see if they eased up a bit with some “normal” friendly convo, unless they started spouting political, misogynistic or racist shite, then I hope I’d call them out on it and explain clearly why I was leaving. If they really were the sort I’d move tables to get away from in different circumstances, then I’d definitely make my excuses and leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to go with it, once I met this woman got there was like oh not sure, by the end of the evening we like Siamese twins locked at the lips. The following day I was fucking her on her sofa, bed and in the bathroom. So patience is the word I am looking for!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a gentleman

Are you that Gentleman

Lol. Actions speak louder than any words.

Said like a true Gent...get your coat love you've pulled "

Ghandi whos pulled?

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

You need a gentleman

Are you that Gentleman

Lol. Actions speak louder than any words.

Said like a true Gent...get your coat love you've pulled

Ghandi whos pulled?

Sorry Ghandi's pulled what? When?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always A.

This is why pics are a pointless way to decide who you will and won't meet for a brew.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

This would lead nicely into the next thread of... Do you have an exit strategy in place for dates/socials that aren't going well? The baby sitter just rang, the budgies fainted in its cage, it looks like rain is coming...

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Let the social play out, lots of people suffer from nerves etc and this gives them a chance to relax into it and reveal the actual them too. (For good or bad)"

Exactly this for me too.

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