FabSwingers.com forum: Lifestyle when you have children

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey all

Naomi and myself are finding it extremely difficult to get and stay involved. The reason being is we have a 14 year old and 7 year old. The 14 year old is very responsible and can babysit our 7 year old.

The problem we have is, we arrange a social then if we get on where do we go?

We always have said we will never do anything at home not even a social if the kids are in the house.

Could book a hotel but wouldn’t stay the night because we can’t leave them overnight on their own and tbh paying for a hotel is an extra cost and if not staying the night it’s a waste.

Clubs might be the answer but just so overwhelming and nerve racking.

Are we the only ones with this problem?

What stop you getting involved?

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

Go down the club route, you soon find the nerves go away.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Maybe go to a club just for a social first to get yourself relaxed and comfortable in a club environment.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We would say a club too then as far as your children are concerned it's "date night"

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Or an alternative is to arrange a meet with a local couple who can accommodate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sounds too simple lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Day use rooms!

Book a cheeky day off and hide away in a nice hotel at a fraction of the usual overnight price

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By *s-two-75Couple
over a year ago

"Hey all

The problem we have is, we arrange a social then if we get on where do we go?

We always have said we will never do anything at home not even a social if the kids are in the house.

Could book a hotel but wouldn’t stay the night because we can’t leave them overnight on their own and tbh paying for a hotel is an extra cost and if not staying the night it’s a waste.

Clubs might be the answer but just so overwhelming and nerve racking.

Are we the only ones with this problem?

What stop you getting involved? "

We have had this too so we mainly do club nights and the odd social event. We love the club scene, even if we don’t play with others we have lots fun together without having to worry of the kids hearing or walking in

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

No there's lots of couples with similar problems, the only way we can operate our lifestyle is to get a babysitter for the whole weekend once in a while, then we have to make the weekend count and fit in our socials etc into that time.

We usually book a hotel Friday night until Sunday morning and try and get one or maybe two socials that weekend with a possible room meet either with one of those socials or maybe one of the ones we have had prior.

If you have trouble getting a sitter maybe the club route is your only option though.

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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

"Or an alternative is to arrange a meet with a local couple who can accommodate. "

This

or as others have suggested try a club. Alternatively go to a local large social and you’ll meet plenty of people. Then you can work out if anyone can accommodate.

Red

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We want to go down the club route but just need a couple to go with and hold our hand lol

we have been before but again with another couple a while ago and it was hot. Amazing actually but with it being so long we need to find someone to go with again lol

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We have two very ypung little ones we generally meet for socials out and about but our socials are just that, then if we meet for a sexual meet we book a hotel, it's hard planning a full over night for childcare but not impossible.

Mrs

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

I had this when I first started out..and I won't accommodate under any circumstances.. kids home and that's the way it stays.

If you have time off in daytimes then maybe a dayroom hotel (quite cheap)

But if a night time maybe go halves on a hotel,then when you have to leave the other person/s have the hotel overnight to make use of if they please.

It's hard isn't it..clubs don't usually get into the "swing" of things till later on I found so it may be good for socials but not so much plat (unless a daytime)..

Good luck in finding a balance...it takes hard work and patience but I'm sure you will get there x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/07/23 07:54:43]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have two very ypung little ones we generally meet for socials out and about but our socials are just that, then if we meet for a sexual meet we book a hotel, it's hard planning a full over night for childcare but not impossible.

Mrs "

Glad we aren’t the only one that struggles

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

We got into the club thing to begin with for this reason. A lot of the clubs are very friendly. They'll often have you over before opening to check the place out, if you contact them directly. Or the people that run events and post on the forums are good to contact.

Then you get to know people who can accommodate etc. Options start to open up.

We would get babysitters for weekends. Book a hotel for us, then add some meets into the mix. Or other mischief. It's not a waste then, as you are just adding to it.

Meeting separately suited our kink too that increased the options.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

We find clubs make life a lot easier especially when you have kids. We just go when convenient for us. No planning needed (beyond finding a free night) and no risk or wasted time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think what also doesn’t help is. We both get up for it and then start making plans and subconsciously I think the nerves kick in and the group chat goes quiet and we don’t end up doing and find something else to do. Vanilla drinks and so on.

We need to find a couple that will understand us and then encourage us and take us lol we sound very pathetic I know

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Hey all

The problem we have is, we arrange a social then if we get on where do we go?

We always have said we will never do anything at home not even a social if the kids are in the house.

Could book a hotel but wouldn’t stay the night because we can’t leave them overnight on their own and tbh paying for a hotel is an extra cost and if not staying the night it’s a waste.

Clubs might be the answer but just so overwhelming and nerve racking.

Are we the only ones with this problem?

What stop you getting involved? "
I go to clubs but some are very cliquey and i chat but its maybe still your best bet if a woman's involved people will always chat

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By *rincess-PeachWoman
over a year ago

irrelevant

If you like the idea of clubs , you gotta just go for it you hold each others hand ! You can just go and play with each other until you get more comfortable

I go alone, you soon make friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you like the idea of clubs , you gotta just go for it you hold each others hand ! You can just go and play with each other until you get more comfortable

I go alone, you soon make friends "

I can see how you soon make friends lol. We’d love someone like you local close by x

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

Don't forget that going to a club doesn't mean you have to do anything at all, other than look around and see what you think. The worst that can happen is that you decide its not for you and go home

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I literally gave up sex when my kids were young as I found the juggling just too difficult. I was a single mum.

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

Yep, I have no childcare options therefore no meeting opportunities

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By *onkeyandBonesCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"I think what also doesn’t help is. We both get up for it and then start making plans and subconsciously I think the nerves kick in and the group chat goes quiet and we don’t end up doing and find something else to do. Vanilla drinks and so on.

We need to find a couple that will understand us and then encourage us and take us lol we sound very pathetic I know "

We are similar situation as we have limited babysitter options, unless we take our daughter to family in Brum.

We are just down the road from you and we have talked about trying the attic in Derby sometime

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Clubs are the best of both worlds. There's available people to get to know and a venue to use and it's far cheaper than a hotel. You have each other for company. I started going on my own in my early 20s.of course it's nerve racking at first but after a few times you know some of the regulars and some staff members and it's much easier. You can try the clubs forum too to get to know people going to the club/event you're interested in.

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By *ouple2playCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

Definitely not the only one’s trying to juggle family with…everything else!

As above - try a club…go with no expectations or even plans to play…just go for yourselves. First time, no play no problem…although what you see and chat about there might give you some naughty thoughts when you get home. The first time’s always the most nerve wracking! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this is limited to couples. Plenty of us singles with kids and in the same boat.

Clubs and finding people that accommodate is the way forward.

I'd highly recommend clubs for you guys. Even if you don't get to do anything with others the social side in a club is a nice night out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We need to find a couple that will understand us and then encourage us and take us lol we sound very pathetic I know

We are similar situation as we have limited babysitter options, unless we take our daughter to family in Brum.

We are just down the road from you and we have talked about trying the attic in Derby sometime

You guys are hot!

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

I find it impossible to have any sort of dating life and fab life to be honest my kids are my life and would not change that but a bit of adulting would be quite nice

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