FabSwingers.com forum: Follow up message, opinions wanted

By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

So I have sent a few messages to people and they’ve gone unread for a few weeks which is fine, I’ve just chalked it down to someone not being interested and I’ve left it at that, but reading someones profile earlier they said something along the lines of “ I get so many messages all the time that if I don’t reply to or read yours , I’m sorry but it probably has been pushed too far down” which raises a valid question, if you have sent someone a message and you genuinely think you are compatible, and it goes unread (if it’s been read or deleted without reply it’s obvious so we won’t go down that rabbit hole), would it be appropriate to send a follow up message if you see the person online or not ?

Obviously us blokes will never know what it’s actually like to have mailboxes explode every minute of the day like the women and probably couples on here do so it was just a curious question based on someone raising the point that you might simply have been missed amongst the million and 1 other messages. I generally wouldn’t have sent a follow up but I wonder if the women on here can shed some opinions please

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By *tooveMan
over a year ago

belfast

No.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I don’t send messages so I wouldn’t know

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

Do what I do.

Message and say you have 10 minutes before my penis explodes.

No one wants to see that so they get back sharpish

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

If you're there watching your sent messages for weeks, maybe try deleting your outbox and stop dwelling on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fyi ...unless a woman has her bits out and is posting a "god I want sex" status. She probably doesn't get hundreds of messages.

Also,if they post a status saying "sorry guys bulk delete" or "sorry if I didn't reply I've just had so many"and the likes...run. Run and don't look back.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

"Fyi ...unless a woman has her bits out and is posting a "god I want sex" status. She probably doesn't get hundreds of messages.

Also,if they post a status saying "sorry guys bulk delete" or "sorry if I didn't reply I've just had so many"and the likes...run. Run and don't look back.

Do you want a DM babe?

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

Haha that is a very valid point but I genuinely clicked on the sent section by mistake earlier and realised that the oldest message on there was from a few weeks back (it’s a very small list as I don’t spam messages out so it was visible on the screen) ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fyi ...unless a woman has her bits out and is posting a "god I want sex" status. She probably doesn't get hundreds of messages.

Also,if they post a status saying "sorry guys bulk delete" or "sorry if I didn't reply I've just had so many"and the likes...run. Run and don't look back.

Do you want a DM babe?"

That's what my other account is for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a dilemma isn’t it?

You may have been genuinely missed / overlooked or deliberately ignored.

If you send again you might get lucky, or be the straw that broke the camels back and cause a ranty status update or forum thread from the disgruntled recipient about people who can’t take no reply for an answer.

It’s up to you, maybe a polite follow up with a recognition that you don’t know if the original message was overlooked or ignored with an apology if it was deliberate. Then don’t message again if it’s not answered a second time?

Good luck OP, hope you get some success

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's been a while, your message is unread and was more than a 'Hey' kind of message.

I'd say go for it, explain that you are aware you have messaged before, though noticed their comment, felt you could possibly be compatible and therefore thought you'd try again. Explain why you feel you're possibly compatible.

You may end up blocked, depending on their tolerance levels, but at least then you know.

Unfortunately, as I've mentioned earlier tonight on another thread, too many have far higher expectations of other users than they are willing to stand by themselves.

There are tools to help us use this site.

Too many messages, use filters or hide profile until you've got through them.

Don't want to say a polite no thank you, expect you may get another message.

Don't read profiles, don't expect a response.

And so on.

Instead of using the tools, too many want everyone else to adapt to their ways.

Be decent, OP, and see where it gets you.

Good luck.

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

Thank you, but as I said I had chalked it down to someone not being interested so will probably not send a follow up, it was just that profile comment that made me wonder what the etiquette is and whether anyone had a more knowledgable opinion.

I mean, if a message is unread I would potentially suggest that it isn’t even a polite no as they wouldn’t know the content of the message, but they could have looked at the profile and decided that regardless of the content of the message they aren’t interested.. who knows ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, click 'Reply +quote', that way we know who you are responding to.

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"OP, click 'Reply +quote', that way we know who you are responding to.

Ah crap I didn’t even know that was a thing… such a noob.. apologies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it hasnt been read then it cant hurt to send another. But, Chances are if someone has put that status up though of having too many messages to read then yours will never be read a second time either. So put your energy elsewhere.

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"If it hasnt been read then it cant hurt to send another. But, Chances are if someone has put that status up though of having too many messages to read then yours will never be read a second time either. So put your energy elsewhere. "

It was a different profile that I saw that comment about the amount of messages (and didn’t message that person) but it just got me thinking that’s all.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Dear OP, your orphaned message is just another tear in a fountain of raindrops. It's all about numbers and ever-burgeoning inboxes.

Still, I wish you much success.

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"Dear OP, your orphaned message is just another tear in a fountain of raindrops. It's all about numbers and ever-burgeoning inboxes.

Still, I wish you much success.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Fyi ...unless a woman has her bits out and is posting a "god I want sex" status. She probably doesn't get hundreds of messages.

Also,if they post a status saying "sorry guys bulk delete" or "sorry if I didn't reply I've just had so many"and the likes...run. Run and don't look back.

Not true from my experience. I've seen 50 messages come in, in a matter of minutes just from being on the forums on a Friday or Saturday night. Easy to get 500+ in an hour

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Just send another msg, and if you don't get a reply, there's your answer.

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"Fyi ...unless a woman has her bits out and is posting a "god I want sex" status. She probably doesn't get hundreds of messages.

Also,if they post a status saying "sorry guys bulk delete" or "sorry if I didn't reply I've just had so many"and the likes...run. Run and don't look back.

Not true from my experience. I've seen 50 messages come in, in a matter of minutes just from being on the forums on a Friday or Saturday night. Easy to get 500+ in an hour"

That must feel overwhelming and probably frustrating

Unsurprisingly guys (well me anyway) don’t have that problem

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"Just send another msg, and if you don't get a reply, there's your answer."

Thank you

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"So I have sent a few messages to people and they’ve gone unread for a few weeks which is fine, I’ve just chalked it down to someone not being interested and I’ve left it at that, but reading someones profile earlier they said something along the lines of “ I get so many messages all the time that if I don’t reply to or read yours , I’m sorry but it probably has been pushed too far down” which raises a valid question, if you have sent someone a message and you genuinely think you are compatible, and it goes unread (if it’s been read or deleted without reply it’s obvious so we won’t go down that rabbit hole), would it be appropriate to send a follow up message if you see the person online or not ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t bother pal.Here’s my thought - they’ve already actually read it.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

If you'd messaged me and then followed it up with a reminder. You'd just irritate me twice.

I'll have clocked the original message and ignored it.

Then if you question my judgement by sending a second message you've just irritated me again.

As a previous poster said, take no reply as a reply and use your energy elsewhere.

Good luck.

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"If you'd messaged me and then followed it up with a reminder. You'd just irritate me twice.

I'll have clocked the original message and ignored it.

Then if you question my judgement by sending a second message you've just irritated me again.

As a previous poster said, take no reply as a reply and use your energy elsewhere.

Good luck.

Thank you very much for the input. Have an amazing weekend

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"Don’t bother pal.Here’s my thought - they’ve already actually read it.

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By *eally_RosieWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Women don’t generally get 100’s of messages every day. It’s a myth.

Maybe on odd occasion when new to the site, or if they post a status that makes people’s pricks stand up.

It’s entirely possible to reply to every message. We just don’t want to.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Women don’t generally get 100’s of messages every day. It’s a myth.

Maybe on odd occasion when new to the site, or if they post a status that makes people’s pricks stand up.

It’s entirely possible to reply to every message. We just don’t want to."
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fyi ...unless a woman has her bits out and is posting a "god I want sex" status. She probably doesn't get hundreds of mso,if they post a status saying "sorry guys bulk delete" or "sorry if I didn't reply I've just had so many"and the likes...run. Run and don't look back.

Not true from my experience. I've seen 50 messages come in, in a matter of minutes just from being on the forums on a Friday or Saturday night. Easy to get 500+ in an hour"

See what I wrote about " unless a woman has her bits out..."

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

The only follow up messages we get accuse us of being rude because we haven't answered within the senders expected time frame which always goes down well

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Would you want to connect with someone you've had to chase that much, just to get even an initial reply?

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

If it’s not been read or replied, move on fella

Plenty more fish in the see! Follow up message to what exactly? Lol

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

"Women don’t generally get 100’s of messages every day. It’s a myth.

Maybe on odd occasion when new to the site, or if they post a status that makes people’s pricks stand up.

It’s entirely possible to reply to every message. We just don’t want to."

Makes sense thank you x

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By *romleyM41 OP Man
over a year ago

orpington / surrounding

Thanks for all the replies. As an update in case anyone cares. Sent box has been cleared so I that takes away any question of follow ups . Not the sort of person to play a numbers game and slam the whole site so I’ll just keep looking and hope to find a profile that sounds like we would click. Have a great weekend all

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