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Psychologically abusive parent … validation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/07/23 21:08:11]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I told my therapist 2 or 3 tiny little things about my dad today and what the environment was like from when I was pretty much 3 or 4 based on his discomfort around me displaying more feminine traits , and …

She cried

If we ever get into a real conversation, and I feel like bothering to spell things out for him (not that I am inclined to) and he won’t take any accountability ‘I told my therapist about you and she fucking cried’

Massively validating though !!! Which I didn’t know I needed

Delete mess

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Good for you, sometimes we don't realise how much having some validation means until it happens. I'm happy for you that you got it. It's never wrong to be yourself no matter what anyone else says or who says it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs and hopefully you can fell better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First of all, sorry to hear of the relationship with your Dad, I hope the therapy can help.

But I can’t help but think a therapist that cries in a session would concern me as a client.

I would understand and have no problem with them showing empathy and compassion, but I would want them to be objective and collected to guide me to help myself.

A therapist in tears just seems a little unprofessional to me. Just my 2p worth, but I’m sure others will disagree with me.

Anyway, I wish you all the best and hope you can find peace, happiness and validation through the sessions

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"First of all, sorry to hear of the relationship with your Dad, I hope the therapy can help.

But I can’t help but think a therapist that cries in a session would concern me as a client.

I would understand and have no problem with them showing empathy and compassion, but I would want them to be objective and collected to guide me to help myself.

A therapist in tears just seems a little unprofessional to me. Just my 2p worth, but I’m sure others will disagree with me.

Anyway, I wish you all the best and hope you can find peace, happiness and validation through the sessions "

Perhaps the therapist had been through similar experiences in their life. The therapist showed true congruence in the therapeutic space to display the emotions they were feeling, which often leads to permission for the client to be emotionally vunerable amd feel safe in doing so.

Op, that's amaxing that your willing to uncover that childhood stuff, that has had an impact. Keep uncovering unpicking and unpacking, kudos for you for going to those uncomfortable places...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I told my therapist 2 or 3 tiny little things about my dad today and what the environment was like from when I was pretty much 3 or 4 based on his discomfort around me displaying more feminine traits , and …

She cried

If we ever get into a real conversation, and I feel like bothering to spell things out for him (not that I am inclined to) and he won’t take any accountability ‘I told my therapist about you and she fucking cried’

Massively validating though !!! Which I didn’t know I needed

Delete mess"

I know people will think that your therapist crying is unprofessional,however I feel it just shows they are human. I have a wonderful therapist, I've been seeing her regularly for a year and in our last session she did actually get a tiny bit emotional. As long as younfeel supported by your therapist I don't feel it's an issue.

I'm glad you are able to talk about things with someone, and good on you for having the strength to stand up to your dad. Speaking from experience, it's liberating standing up to a psychological and emotional abuser, and i wish you well on your continuing recovery

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for all the encouragement xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I understand people might be put off by that and that’s absolutely fair enough if that’s how someone would feel

‘Professionalism’ is a man made construct.

For me thinking that a human being can have absolute control over 100% of their natural emotional responses 100% of the time would kind of go against everything I’m about and am trying to be about I guess

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I understand people might be put off by that and that’s absolutely fair enough if that’s how someone would feel

‘Professionalism’ is a man made construct.

For me thinking that a human being can have absolute control over 100% of their natural emotional responses 100% of the time would kind of go against everything I’m about and am trying to be about I guess "

A good therapist will have done the necessary work on themselves, to be able to acknowledge their emotions in the moment and to display them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine got me to write a letter saying all I wanted to say to him, without sending.

He passed couple of months ago not knowing anything about a big part of my life.

Glad you got validation

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