FabSwingers.com forum: Cancelling seeing someone.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's the ideal notice to give someone if you're not going to keep to your plans?

And why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

^ This

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Seconded.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Ideal notice?

A day.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Straight away...... He'll be getting excited already

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By *acduff66Man
over a year ago

london

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Yep I think that’s it in a nutshell

An explanation is also nice but just the knowledge is a start xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Yep this. Don't avoid any questions, don't hide from it. Just say it. Basic respect for another person. Pretty simple.

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By *acduff66Man
over a year ago

london

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "

After the meeting was supposed to take place… about a week after

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ideal notice?

A day. "

But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab.

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By *ee04Man
over a year ago

Essex

At the earliest opportunity, the guys going to be gutted. Thank god it’s not me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as you can, ideally your reason is sound and genuine and they believe you.

Once is acceptable twice is a worry and a block

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I dunno, can't beat a bit of "surprise mother fucker" last minute

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

This.

The less notice there is, the bigger emergency I'd want it to be.

The person who didn't tell me until three hours after we were due to meet - had to drive a family member to hospital. Fine.

The person who told me two hours before we were due to meet because they couldn't be arsed - not fine.

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By *ee04Man
over a year ago

Essex

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "

Let me know who they are all go and drug test them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "

If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ideal notice?

A day.

But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab."

I’ve had someone postpone on me on the morning of a proposed late afternoon meet, the reasons were valid and we rearranged (and met) a fortnight later.

But you’re right, it was far too late for me to arrange anything else for that day.

However life happens - and they let me know asap (as far as I’m aware).

It would be frustrating if they knew for a couple of days in advance but hadn’t told me until the day.

What’s the ideal notice period to make new arrangements (which I guess is the crux of the question you’re asking!?) - well it’ll differ from person to person. As a male on here it’s much more difficult to create instant demand. A week would have been ideal or at least a few days

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Ideal notice?

A day.

But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab."

It depends om the plans they want to make... if I get cancelled on a day before a meet I just go and do something else.

I wouldn't be able to get another fab meet at such short notice unless I was lucky.

But I could easily go and get some shopping and then have a wank in the evening (by the way that actually constitutes "having a plan" in my life, I'm very happy)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER""

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now."

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re planning not to see them then as soon as you decide. If something comes up that prevents you seeing them then as soon as You know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "

Have you contacted them? Just wondering if not, maybe they are thinking the same? If you have and got no reply, I'd make other plans. Hope it gets sorted out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ideal notice?

A day.

But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab.

I’ve had someone postpone on me on the morning of a proposed late afternoon meet, the reasons were valid and we rearranged (and met) a fortnight later.

But you’re right, it was far too late for me to arrange anything else for that day.

However life happens - and they let me know asap (as far as I’m aware).

It would be frustrating if they knew for a couple of days in advance but hadn’t told me until the day.

I think that is the crux of my question. My free time is limited, and I really don't like giving it to someone who then doesn't want it but won't say so. That's the part that gets me, I want know so I can make use of my time that I have.

I could book tickets to an exhibition but in the last 24 hours I may have no luck. So what is the ideal time? Surely 48 hours is good?

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!

If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours."

I would feel the same, many years experience tells me "probably a timewaster"

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!

If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours."

Exactly this ^

And from my own experience, pretty much a given they won’t show up at this point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house."

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

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By *uke-de-PleasureMan
over a year ago

Leeds

As soon as you know you can't make it or decide to not meet.

Manners cost nothing.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!

If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours.

I would feel the same, many years experience tells me "probably a timewaster"

Yup. If I haven't heard from you in the preceding 24 hours, unless you've told me there's a reason for it (we've been talking for months, we're meeting on Wednesday evening, and you tell me you have an EOD Wednesday deadline and you'll be offline Tuesday-Wednesday sort of thing), it's not happening.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "

If you know then leaving it for any length of time is bad, but waiting until the day of seeing them would be unforgivable.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

As soon as it's necessary or a decision has been made.

If just because you've changed your mind then it should be as soon as that happens, whether you give a full explanation or just simply say you've had second thoughts. It gives clarity and let's everyone know where they stand. It's not about ensuring they have time to make other plans and is more about being honest with yourself and them, whether it's a week ahead, a day, or a couple of hours.

If its short notice due to an emergency then as soon as you know.

People are entitled to cancel right up to the last minute, or even once you've arrived if you feel the need.

After a meet is probably too late.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I've had people arrange a date then stop chatting for dats but expect me to be ready to meet them when they message the morning of the day we'd arranged.

If felt like once he knew he'd got me he didn't need to bother talking any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!"

You mean you don't have one already?

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

40 seconds before the meet is due

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if meets get cancelled for you?

Is that ok?

Am I allowed to enjoy that.

Psst.

Already am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "

The proof lays in the Actions,or lack of actions,

The net and profiles are merely an image you build up of a profile you expect to be in your very mind and otherwise.

One chance delete,Adios.

You seem very invested in thos Dates,why so?

Have you chatted with them before hand off fab. An actual conversation? That let to arrangeing the appointed meet time/ date?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"What's the ideal notice to give someone if you're not going to keep to your plans?

And why?

As soon as you know you can't make it, is the ideal notice, and it's just being polite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

You mean you don't have one already?"

No!

Can I borrow yours please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had people arrange a date then stop chatting for dats but expect me to be ready to meet them when they message the morning of the day we'd arranged.

If felt like once he knew he'd got me he didn't need to bother talking any more.

The Fuckery boths ways is so real. Esp off the Net,apps etc.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

But life sometimes happens and that's very often last minute. They never believe you though.

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By *obilebottomMan
over a year ago

All over

Genuine things happen even last minute sometimes. If it's a genuine reason and you communicate that appropriately, it's not the end of the word. As people don't mess about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

You mean you don't have one already?

No!

Can I borrow yours please?

I've got so many. Take your pick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

You mean you don't have one already?

No!

Can I borrow yours please?

I've got so many. Take your pick."

Perfect, thank you

I'll have that one right there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

You mean you don't have one already?

No!

Can I borrow yours please?

I've got so many. Take your pick.

Perfect, thank you

I'll have that one right there

The baggy, old, ugly t-shirt?

The one I got from my work several years ago?

I know the one - with the curry stain.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

You mean you don't have one already?

No!

Can I borrow yours please?

I've got so many. Take your pick.

Perfect, thank you

I'll have that one right there

The baggy, old, ugly t-shirt?

The one I got from my work several years ago?

I know the one - with the curry stain."

You sure that's curry.....

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

With kids anything can and does happen at the drop of a hat, I do like to prewarn them, that it would be a total emergency, but I will be keeping current clear communication with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Agree with this. I was in a situation where I was due to meet someone on a Saturday and on the Monday, I stared coming down with a cold but thought I could power through and be better in time for the meet so didn't tell her. Come Saturday, I was in bed all day and felt fucking awful that I let her down at the last minute. Luckily she gave me another chance but I was being a selfish bellend and definitely learned my lesson!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Ideally, as soon as you know you can't make it or at least the day before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?

When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"

What if they do exactly that to me?

...oh I'm not liking this even more now.

That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.

If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.

Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!

You mean you don't have one already?

No!

Can I borrow yours please?

I've got so many. Take your pick.

Perfect, thank you

I'll have that one right there

The baggy, old, ugly t-shirt?

The one I got from my work several years ago?

I know the one - with the curry stain.

You sure that's curry.....

I think so. I was told the curry had cumin.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "

Can depend if it's a social or an actual meet.

A social, less than 2 hours before, because I'll be ready and thinking of leaving the house.

For an actual meet... Same day? Because I'll have started getting ready the day before, if they're coming to mine I'll have been tidying up and changing the bed etc. Which is why I prefer hotels etc cos at least I haven't wasted time and energy (which is a bigger deal for me)

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Spare time for couples and/or parents is hard won and if they have naughtiness on their mind, leaving a cancellation to the last minute is bad form. In general people programme their “playtime” around life so I think you should tell them as soon as you know you can’t make it or think you can’t make it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as I know I can’t make it. They would know.

To make that clear, if I’ve not sent a cancellation (text or call) it means I’d still be making that appointment.

I guess sometimes someone might not be able to give advanced notice of a cancel, because of ALSORTS of reasons. Eg emergencies/cold feet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As soon as you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As soon as you know "

She knows.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

If the experiences shared by the Forum are anything to go by there are those with good manners… (notify as soon as possible) and then those that simply ghost past the date and time of the meet only to pop up in messages 4 weeks later asking to meet… Absolute bellends.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve never cancelled on anyone so I can’t really comment but it’s interesting to hear others views.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

As soon as you know and give alternate dates .

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By *rigbyMan
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

I once met a woman outside a pub for a planned social ,got out of my car,she round her window down and I said hello nice to meet you

She wound the window back up and drove away.

That was a bit short notice and actually true

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"If the experiences shared by the Forum are anything to go by there are those with good manners… (notify as soon as possible) and then those that simply ghost past the date and time of the meet only to pop up in messages 4 weeks later asking to meet… Absolute bellends.

Also not forgetting the ghosters before a meet, who then post a veri from someone else for the same night...twunts

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

This. And also it's respectful to do so.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"I once met a woman outside a pub for a planned social ,got out of my car,she round her window down and I said hello nice to meet you

She wound the window back up and drove away.

That was a bit short notice and actually true

Did not you not have the axe behind your back .

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Also not forgetting the ghosters before a meet, who then post a veri from someone else for the same night...twunts

Those utter bastards… I hope they got an STI

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By *rigbyMan
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

"I once met a woman outside a pub for a planned social ,got out of my car,she round her window down and I said hello nice to meet you

She wound the window back up and drove away.

That was a bit short notice and actually true

Did not you not have the axe behind your back ."

No,but I did have some flowers

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Also not forgetting the ghosters before a meet, who then post a veri from someone else for the same night...twunts

Those utter bastards… I hope they got an STI"

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By *empusMan
over a year ago

Poole

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Yeah, this

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By *empusMan
over a year ago

Poole

"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.

I'm not cancelling anything.

I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "

Sounds cheesy and predictable I know... but I can’t imagine any circumstances in which I would let you down!

Ever seen that film 27 days...

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By *hinstrapMan
over a year ago

Barnsley

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Exactly this. Manners are free and sadly in decline it seems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would always message as soon as we realise we can stick to the plans. Late notice is never good but I am sure some people have had emergency situations which has resulted in last minute cancellations. Being cancelled on is not nice for anyone x

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By *espacito56Man
over a year ago

Orkney

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners "

Exactly.

In this, Fab is no different to life in general.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"As soon as you know you can't see them

And because it's good manners

Agreed.

But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "

5 mins after time

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