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I need professional advice

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy low, sell high

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Buy high, sell low!

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By *uv2kissMan
over a year ago

fenland

Unicorns are real

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Sign on get PIP

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

Not sure what you want but am a good listener and offer advice. No am not hitting on u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never trust a man who's shirt collar is a different colour from the rest of the shirt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust the science

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)"

Don't eat yellow snow and don't tie your shoelaces in a revolving door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never try drinking the juice out of a tractor.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Just don't do it

Actually that may actually be true in some cases.

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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago

London

If it's yellow, don't stick it in your mouth

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"If it's yellow, don't stick it in your mouth "

What if it's cheese?

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Your everybody's cuppa tea

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Measure twice cut once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"Never trust a man who's shirt collar is a different colour from the rest of the shirt! "

Every bit of my shirt is a different colour from the rest of my shirt! But I'm not a man so that's probably okay.

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By *inkykhanMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

How was Jonny Bairstow given out

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"Measure twice cut once."

I will never let you measure my knob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/07/23 23:18:57]

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Never take advice from an expert.

It works for politicians.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

If it is presently sprouting hairs and mould and tastes sour, don’t eat it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't ask me. I spread mud on walls for a living.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Turn 'em inside out and then upside down for extra wear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a particular set of skills….

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

The shiny bit is hot, don't touch it.

B

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Measure twice cut once.

I will never let you measure my knob

"

You'd be okay letting him measure it one time , but run a mile when the tape comes out for a re measure

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

If it moves and it shouldnt, duck tape.

If it won't move, and it should, WD40.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be sure to put lots of personal details on your profile, it's OK because you wrote "need to be discreet" on there as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 04/07/23 23:24:07]

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the chances are it's a giraffe

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Get on fab, knee deep in clunge for life with minimal effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always shag the poster above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How was Jonny Bairstow given out "

He was out of his crease when the ball hit the stumps

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante


"Always shag the poster above"

Shag!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether."

This is my life motto

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Never attempt complicated surgery unless you've at least got a first aid badge from the Brownies

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"How was Jonny Bairstow given out "

Cuz he was out his crease and the ball was still live, quite simple really

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

If you are a cyclist, ride through a red light at a crossroads.

Saw that today definitely great advice. Most entertaining.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"If it's yellow, don't stick it in your mouth

What if it's cheese?"

Or sweetcorn, or pineapple.

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,


"If you are a cyclist, ride through a red light at a crossroads.

Saw that today definitely great advice. Most entertaining."

Don't look over your shoulder,don't signal,overtake on the inside at traffic lights and junctions,ride on the footpath,don't have lights at night,ride two or more wide on narrow roads and around corners,use the road as your own personal Tour de France stage (by the way,if you want to see druggies on bikes find the roughest area of your nearest town/city) and wear lycra so you can show the world you have just bought the last turkey in the shop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yellow snow is tastier than white snow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perform a citizens arrest on a copper before he arrests you, couldn't possibly go wrong.

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By *ung nine inchMan
over a year ago

leeds

Mmmmmm hand cuff

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By *reative-mindMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Reply with a cease and desist letter requesting that someone stops sending you cease and desist letters.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Don't listen to those who went to university, no common sense whatsoever. Let your next door neighbour do your open heart surgery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have a supply of biscuits in the cupboard

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Stocks & Shares… massive growth on dried water… take it anywhere then when needed simply add water and drink!!

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)"

Two partsBicarbonate of soda and one part lemon juice.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Facebook will replace Google as the go to place for information- people are experts in so many different fields- one week they’re an expert in virology then the next experts in geo politics currently boasting the highest number of Military Tacticians per capita on the planet. If you need anything about anything .. Facebook all the way!!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"Perform a citizens arrest on a copper before he arrests you, couldn't possibly go wrong."

I arrested 6 coppers last night as they carried me to the van!!! Including resisting arrest they are looking at serious jail time…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yellow snow is not edible

Teflon sticks to pans

Dialing 666 does not get a policeman standing on his head

Long stands and left handed screwdrivers are fictional items

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By *eardedwonder999Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Always check your oil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Measure twice cut once."

...and still somehow manage to fuck it up

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)"

If they are 'discrete' does that mean that they are very small?

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By *reampie_yourwifeMan
over a year ago

barnsley

The law is there for everyone

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)"

Turn it off and on again solves all problems.

Air fryers. Nuclear power stations. Life support machines. Thirsty single guys.......

A

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By *uckie and CreamCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Always add a disclaimer to the bottom of your Fab profile.

It will give you indisputable legal protection should you need to bring litigation against Sydney University.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Read everything in full, and then read it again.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)"

If it looks great, go for it. What could possibly go wrong?

Essentially, always judge the book by the cover!

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

Although I'm not medically trained

I'm almost certain, That having

Unprotected sex with multiple partners will create herd immunity.......eventually

So , go for it !

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Bicarbonate Of Soda…. Is there a Straightcarbonate of Soda? Is it only good for half as many things?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You learn from your mistakes, so better to get paid for doing them. And paid even more, for lots of big ones

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By *naswingdress OP   Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Always add a disclaimer to the bottom of your Fab profile.

It will give you indisputable legal protection should you need to bring litigation against Sydney University. "

My disclaimer is killer

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Is this finally time for all the self proclaimed "professional" people to shine and prove they are in fact "professional"?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It will cost you !

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

If in doubt about a product, especially second-hand, always take the advice of the person selling it. No one knows it better than they do.

Buy the cheapest, irrespective of appearances, that’s how to get a bargain.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Stick 'em with the pointy end.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)"

If it moves and it shouldn’t - Use duct tape.

If it doesn’t move and it should - Use WD40

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust boris. He never lies. Lol

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

Happy for a dm if can help. Lot of experience on scene over many years and seen lots of issues. Helped some

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Always get shitfaced the night before you go sailing - you'll be the first to ever try it and there's unlikely to be any consequences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore evidential facts and science… the truth to everything is the uneducated masses of Facebook

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By *ayo81966Man
over a year ago

barnstaple

Dont ask me for advice

Lets have a drink usually forget what they wanted advice on

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

According to the new Highway Code speed limits are now advisory only. Some police are unaware of this change so you should politely explain it to them.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I need a professional, there are lots of genuine discrete professionals on Fab.

What's your advice? (Wrong answers only)

Turn it off and on again solves all problems.

Air fryers. Nuclear power stations. Life support machines. Thirsty single guys.......

A"

If those solutions don't work, pull out plan b the hammer

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Men never lie believe everything they say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do sleep with your work colleague

F

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Doesn't matter what the advice is, if you charge for it you're a professional.

And for that nugget of wisdom, it's a tenner

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By *espectfulBusinessManMan
over a year ago

Essex and London

Invest in Blockbuster it’s at its lowest stock share in history!!! Definitely on a bull trend

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