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"Do you mean a 'romantic' emotional relationship?" • Quite possibly, yes. | |||
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"Do you mean a 'romantic' emotional relationship? • Quite possibly, yes." Ok, let me give this some consideration over coffee... | |||
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"Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest... What does an emotional relationship mean to you? Do you consider it a deep-rooted emotional union but without the spousal attachment? As in, you're not boyfriend, girlfriend or loving-partner material, but it's the next best thing with feelings, mental connection, longing and non-tactile intimacy. Is it all of the above but circumstances such as the vast geographical distance between you makes it impossible to solidify or consummate what could otherwise be something significantly "more"? Would you say an emotional relationship is the same thing as an emotional affair?" I don’t think I have one of these. There are a few special people that are central to having happiness in my life that I would be genuinely upset to lose from that status. There are also a few other friends with whom I’m close and whose company I relish. But I don’t consider any of them an emotional relationship. I suspect that is largely down to me being weird (generally speaking) and not being able to have such a thing without considering it intimate or potentially intimate. | |||
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"The lines of meaningful relationships and affairs are blurred on here, so it's difficult for me to appropriate more labels to ours for explanation "Well put, Ms Winklepicker. I tend to just go with what feels right between me and each partner (or friend). Labelling it doesn’t change it, even if it might be useful for describing our relationships to outsiders. Imagine a line with ‘total stranger’ at one end and ‘the love of my life’ at the other. Everybody I sleep with sits somewhere along that line … I could tell you which end each person is nearer to or further from, but I don’t worry about giving names or types to each relationship. | |||
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"I tend towards all or nothing with these things. I have people I have very deep and intimate relationships with. I don't sleep with all of them. And some of my sexual relationships have a very surface level friendship." • I'm intrigued about this 'absolutism' approach. It makes sense actually. | |||
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"An emotional relationship to me means inevitable heart ache. I save that for family only now. In regards to men I'm pretty good and staying detached from them." • @JÅG —  would you not even meet me for a Gin & plaTonic? | |||
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"Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest... What does an emotional relationship mean to you? Do you consider it a deep-rooted emotional union but without the spousal attachment? As in, you're not boyfriend, girlfriend or loving-partner material, but it's the next best thing with feelings, mental connection, longing and non-tactile intimacy. Is it all of the above but circumstances such as the vast geographical distance between you makes it impossible to solidify or consummate what could otherwise be something significantly "more"? Would you say an emotional relationship is the same thing as an emotional affair? I don’t think I have one of these. There are a few special people that are central to having happiness in my life that I would be genuinely upset to lose from that status. There are also a few other friends with whom I’m close and whose company I relish. But I don’t consider any of them an emotional relationship. I suspect that is largely down to me being weird (generally speaking) and not being able to have such a thing without considering it intimate or potentially intimate." • You're not weird, Félìx. You're "Félìx". And it makes total sense!  | |||
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"I would say I have an emotional relationship with my long term partner, along with the sexual one. It's a different feeling to other men I meet just for sex. I don't feel we're friends or in a romance, but there's emotions from both of us. " By emotions I mean lust and caring etc. | |||
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"I'd consider it a friendship " Sounds like a friendship to me too. | |||
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"An emotional relationship to me means inevitable heart ache. I save that for family only now. In regards to men I'm pretty good and staying detached from them. • @JÅG — would you not even meet me for a Gin & plaTonic?"Probably not | |||
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"An emotional relationship to me means inevitable heart ache. I save that for family only now. In regards to men I'm pretty good and staying detached from them. • @JÅG — would you not even meet me for a Gin & plaTonic?
Probably not"Nero has just felt the inevitable heartache…. | |||
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"Is it all of the above but circumstances such as the vast geographical distance between you makes it impossible …" This bit first. Distance never makes a relationship impossible. It can make it a challenge, but to me it never makes it impossible. Just my opinion, I know others feel differently. . "What does an emotional relationship mean to you? Do you consider it a deep-rooted emotional union but without the spousal attachment?" This is where it gets personal. I can only explain how I feel about this stuff, and acknowledge that different people feel *very* differently - you do you, y’know? There’s marriage. Long-term commitment. Life partners. That’s all-encompassing. It’s sex and attraction and lust and it’s love, true love, plus *more*. Building a life together. And then at the other end of the scale there’s recreational sex. No strings. Fucking people in swingers clubs. Joining gangbangs. Being the ‘stunt cock’ for a couple’s threesome fantasies. All things I first signed up to Fab for, all those years ago. But then there’s the relationships inbetween. The ones I wasn’t expecting, but am so very, very lucky to have found. Friendships forged on these forums. Platonic and otherwise. Sex with people I care about and respect as friends. I try not to use the word ‘love’ because I want to keep that for the woman I’ve built a whole life alongside, but I’ve found emotional relationships here. Some with so much emotion they have all the trappings of love. And I welcome that. I adore it. Nowadays, it’s what I want from Fab. Emotional relationships only, please. Be they casual or serious, one-night stands or years in the making. I *want* the emotions. The romance. I crave it. And it makes for the most mind blowing sex. | |||
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"It's someone I can tell, I love you. The lines of meaningful relationships and affairs are blurred on here, so it's difficult for me to appropriate more labels to ours for explanation "• Thank you Compy. But this isn't necessarily about affairs...but I feel your inferences.  | |||
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"The lines of meaningful relationships and affairs are blurred on here, so it's difficult for me to appropriate more labels to ours for explanation
Well put, Ms Winklepicker.
I tend to just go with what feels right between me and each partner (or friend). Labelling it doesn’t change it, even if it might be useful for describing our relationships to outsiders.
Imagine a line with ‘total stranger’ at one end and ‘the love of my life’ at the other. Everybody I sleep with sits somewhere along that line … I could tell you which end each person is nearer to or further from, but I don’t worry about giving names or types to each relationship."• Thank you RTG. So the level of candour and trust that your bestow diminishes the closer you move towards the "total stranger" end of the line...? | |||
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"An emotional relationship to me means inevitable heart ache. I save that for family only now. In regards to men I'm pretty good and staying detached from them. • @JÅG — would you not even meet me for a Gin & plaTonic?
Probably not"• You raasclaat. | |||
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"To *me* an emotional relationship is one in which you feel positively towards the other person. I consider that I'm in emotional relationships with all my friends. A 'romantic ' emotional relationship involves that extra je ne sais quoi. I wouldn't say that an er is an emotional affair. I would say that a rer is. As far as vast geographical distance is concerned I think that's often an excuse to avoid confronting the reality of an actual human rather than the idealised person. A friend of mine has a history of longing for unattainable women. They're either too young, too far away, married or circumstances conspire against them. The minute they show interest or an actual in person relationship becomes a possibility he backs away as fast as he possibly can. I " • Thank you darling, I really appreciate this viewpoint.  | |||
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"Thank you RTG. So the level of candour and trust that your bestow diminishes the closer you move towards the "total stranger" end of the line...?" Yes. Although, as with all rules, there are exceptions. Sometimes spending intimate time with a total strangers allows you to be radically open and honest in a way you might not normally be. People are funny old things. | |||
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"An emotional relationship to me means inevitable heart ache. I save that for family only now. In regards to men I'm pretty good and staying detached from them. • @JÅG — would you not even meet me for a Gin & plaTonic?
Probably not
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You raasclaat. "Sorry, that sounded a tad mean. For one I don't like gin and tonic, it's vile. Second, you're out in ye old London town. Third, I'm just not that sociable. | |||
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"An emotional relationship to me means inevitable heart ache. I save that for family only now. In regards to men I'm pretty good and staying detached from them. • @JÅG — would you not even meet me for a Gin & plaTonic?
Probably not
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Nero has just felt the inevitable heartache…."• Wôôdy, my friend, I am incomparably bereft and crestfallen. What is a gentleman supposed to do?  | |||
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"I dont allow emotions anymore with anyone i limit them with people i already know its much safer that way" • Quite. It's perfectly fine with the safe approach.  | |||
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"There’s a lot to unpick For me I can have emotion without romance. A deep friendship than potentially could include sexual compatibility/chemistry I could potentially have romance without emotion as in a sexual partner who wines & dines you, but doesn’t totally fulfill my brain, but still there is chemistry. A fuck buddy with manners I suppose. But that wouldn’t necessarily work for me. I do like a degree of emotional connection in my sexual partners. We don’t need to speak daily. But when we do, the old banter, connection & fizz happens. Or in some cases is simmering over text for months and then explodes in person. It’s emotion, but 100% doesn’t need to be (and isn’t) romance. I guess more simply put, ideally someone you know that if the sex stops the friendship won’t. I will admit the romance part is a confusion to me." • I'm wondering if any of the above is far from apocryphal, Misty? But I won't ask which one. | |||
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"I want some emotion. To be fair I can't be me without it. I want feelings and to be able to embrace them. Sometimes I can compartmentalise and do that without having my heart broken and that's a beautiful safe space to be in with someone and I cherish that a lot. I find allowing myself to be vulnerable difficult, even with my closest friends, it takes time. For that reason I think a full blown happy ever after relationship probably won't happen for me and I'm OK with that. " • MsWyld, thank you for your response. Would you be averse to the "happy ever after" outcome? Or do you feel playing safe is what you would now seek? | |||
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"I’m gonna return to Brother Nero’s original question(s) because I realise I utterly failed to address his points. . Is it all of the above but circumstances such as the vast geographical distance between you makes it impossible … This bit first. Distance never makes a relationship impossible. It can make it a challenge, but to me it never makes it impossible. Just my opinion, I know others feel differently. . What does an emotional relationship mean to you? Do you consider it a deep-rooted emotional union but without the spousal attachment? This is where it gets personal. I can only explain how I feel about this stuff, and acknowledge that different people feel *very* differently - you do you, y’know? There’s marriage. Long-term commitment. Life partners. That’s all-encompassing. It’s sex and attraction and lust and it’s love, true love, plus *more*. Building a life together. And then at the other end of the scale there’s recreational sex. No strings. Fucking people in swingers clubs. Joining gangbangs. Being the ‘stunt cock’ for a couple’s threesome fantasies. All things I first signed up to Fab for, all those years ago. But then there’s the relationships inbetween. The ones I wasn’t expecting, but am so very, very lucky to have found. Friendships forged on these forums. Platonic and otherwise. Sex with people I care about and respect as friends. I try not to use the word ‘love’ because I want to keep that for the woman I’ve built a whole life alongside, but I’ve found emotional relationships here. Some with so much emotion they have all the trappings of love. And I welcome that. I adore it. Nowadays, it’s what I want from Fab. Emotional relationships only, please. Be they casual or serious, one-night stands or years in the making. I *want* the emotions. The romance. I crave it. And it makes for the most mind blowing sex." • I like this broad spectrum analogous response! | |||
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"I couldn't get intimate unless there was an emotional connection. That's not to say I need to be in love, heaven forbid but the fact is, if I'm having sex with you I'm going to be fond of you. Distance can colour things, can create frustration or gild the lily a bit too. I talk to people on here who are miles away and will never meet but they make my soul smile all the same." • This is lovely! | |||
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"Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest... What does an emotional relationship mean to you?" It means giving someone an opportunity to hurt you in ways you’re not prepared for. | |||
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"Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest... What does an emotional relationship mean to you? It means giving someone an opportunity to hurt you in ways you’re not prepared for. " 
Aww it does , it's a bit sad xx | |||
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"Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest... What does an emotional relationship mean to you? It means giving someone an opportunity to hurt you in ways you’re not prepared for. " But also the potential to give you joy & pleasure you never thought possible. It’s a risk I’m willing to take | |||
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"I want some emotion. To be fair I can't be me without it. I want feelings and to be able to embrace them. Sometimes I can compartmentalise and do that without having my heart broken and that's a beautiful safe space to be in with someone and I cherish that a lot. I find allowing myself to be vulnerable difficult, even with my closest friends, it takes time. For that reason I think a full blown happy ever after relationship probably won't happen for me and I'm OK with that. • MsWyld, thank you for your response. Would you be averse to the "happy ever after" outcome? Or do you feel playing safe is what you would now seek?" My heart is still a bit broken from the last time I allowed myself to be vulnerable and I think I'd rather not go through that again. However I'm also a hopeless romantic who frequently gets swept up and lost in a moment, so who knows. If it feels right, I probably wouldn't be able to stop it. | |||
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"Thank you for the thought provoking thread Nero. In my humble opinion an affair is an engagement with another person, which contravenes the boundaries with a primary partner. An emotional affair is one where it's the emotional depth rather than sex that's problematic. An emotional relationship: I and I starts to feel like we. It's really just how deep that goes. That's there for me whether we have sex or not. And it's usually tactile even if we don't." • Tactility transcends between the emotional state and the physical. Thank you Hansoffate! | |||
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"Dear Gentlemën, Ladiës, Nøn-Binariës and Persons of Interest... What does an emotional relationship mean to you? It means giving someone an opportunity to hurt you in ways you’re not prepared for. But also the potential to give you joy & pleasure you never thought possible. It’s a risk I’m willing to take "• I agree. I don't think I could ignore the unassailable 'pull and draw' of an emotional connection. | |||
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"An romantic emotional relationship...to me is someone you connect with in a way thats in some ways beyond logical description. It's that weird chemistry thing... Frankly it's rare. Well for me anyway." • But if it came knocking on your door, rare or not, would you accept it, embrace it and let it into your heart? | |||
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"An romantic emotional relationship...to me is someone you connect with in a way thats in some ways beyond logical description. It's that weird chemistry thing... Frankly it's rare. Well for me anyway. • But if it came knocking on your door, rare or not, would you accept it, embrace it and let it into your heart?" I wouldn't perhaps phrase it like that ...and I have already actually . However given that it can be intoxicating and not always in positive ways ...it's always wise to keep your brain engaged not just heart and dick | |||
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"An romantic emotional relationship...to me is someone you connect with in a way thats in some ways beyond logical description. It's that weird chemistry thing... Frankly it's rare. Well for me anyway. • But if it came knocking on your door, rare or not, would you accept it, embrace it and let it into your heart? I wouldn't perhaps phrase it like that ...and I have already actually . However given that it can be intoxicating and not always in positive ways ...it's always wise to keep your brain engaged not just heart and dick "• | |||
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