FabSwingers.com forum: Cheer me up!

By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

It's been a bit of a week.

I'm tired and uninspired.

I'd be very grateful if fabbers could tell me a joke or two.

Can you raise a smile.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

My poor pocket rocket Sprockett!

What can I do for you to bring you to my Camelot, and charm you with my iridescence?

What does one get after five days of wanking? A weak end.

#RubbishJokes

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"My poor pocket rocket Sprockett!

What can I do for you to bring you to my Camelot, and charm you with my iridescence?

What does one get after five days of wanking? A weak end.

#RubbishJokes"

If it's your Camelot, do i get to be Guinevere?

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

What breed of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any breed of dog, buildings can't jump.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want me to eat your arse? It tickles.

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

"Want me to eat your arse? It tickles. "

Hahaha…..straight in, no mercy.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What breed of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any breed of dog, buildings can't jump. "

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your application as Morale Officer.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Want me to eat your arse? It tickles. "

Creative but denied. Thanks.

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"It's been a bit of a week.

I'm tired and uninspired.

I'd be very grateful if fabbers could tell me a joke or two.

Can you raise a smile.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator

makes me giggle everytime.

Mrs xx

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By *moothstaffspeepsCouple
over a year ago

Stafford

What do you call a detective in the bath ?

Sherlock Foams

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

What do you call a fly with no wings??

A Walk!

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Did you hear about the heartbroken astronaut?

He just needed some space...

As you were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Want me to eat your arse? It tickles.

Creative but denied. Thanks."

I do hope you feel better in all seriousness

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What do you call a fly with no wings??

A Walk!

Lol.

D."

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Want me to eat your arse? It tickles.

Creative but denied. Thanks.

I do hope you feel better in all seriousness"

This too shall pass.

And thank you.

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

"What do you call a fly with no wings??

A Walk!

D."

What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?

A current.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What do you call a detective in the bath ?

Sherlock Foams

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By *issalignedTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"It's been a bit of a week.

I'm tired and uninspired.

I'd be very grateful if fabbers could tell me a joke or two.

Can you raise a smile.

I brought my car for a service yesterday, it’s still stuck in the church doors

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Did you hear about the heartbroken astronaut?

He just needed some space...

As you were

Shakes head in despair.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I mean I could go into my relationship history as thats pretty brief and very much a joke

Why did the chicken go to the séance?

To get to the other side

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By *ooooofMan
over a year ago

Walsall

How do you keep a cnut in suspense?

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

[Removed by poster at 01/07/23 07:55:42]

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"My poor pocket rocket Sprockett!

What can I do for you to bring you to my Camelot, and charm you with my iridescence?

What does one get after five days of wanking? A weak end.

#RubbishJokes

If it's your Camelot, do i get to be Guinevere? "

•

You shall without hesitation be my Guinevere, as long as you can wield my sword sExcalibur. †

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By *appytaffWoman
over a year ago

blackwood

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch cock ?

Fungi to be with .

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

What's the medical name for the condition when you wake up in the middle of the night and all you want to do is eat.......

Insom nom nom nom nomnia

I'll get my coat.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What's the medical name for the condition when you wake up in the middle of the night and all you want to do is eat.......

Insom nom nom nom nomnia

I'll get my coat. "

Thank you for trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a joke about trickle down economics…..

…..but 99% of you will never get it.

Miles

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch cock ?

Fungi to be with ."

Ooofft !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the builder quit his job?

He was working with a bunch of tools

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"My poor pocket rocket Sprockett!

What can I do for you to bring you to my Camelot, and charm you with my iridescence?

What does one get after five days of wanking? A weak end.

#RubbishJokes

If it's your Camelot, do i get to be Guinevere?

•

You shall without hesitation be my Guinevere, as long as you can wield my sword sExcalibur. †"

I'm a weapons expert.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I mean I could go into my relationship history as thats pretty brief and very much a joke

Why did the chicken go to the séance?

To get to the other side"

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By *issitCouple
over a year ago

Banbury

What do you call a row of men waiting for a haircut?

A barbecue

Feel better soon flower x sending a wave from down south

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

"My poor pocket rocket Sprockett!

What can I do for you to bring you to my Camelot, and charm you with my iridescence?

What does one get after five days of wanking? A weak end.

#RubbishJokes

If it's your Camelot, do i get to be Guinevere? "

But you'll probably run off with Lancelot

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"I have a joke about trickle down economics…..

…..but 99% of you will never get it.

Miles"

Congratulations. Audible groan here from that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://www.rd.com/article/funny-inspirational-quotes/

There you go fill your boots and enjoy!

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

There are two types of people.

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"My poor pocket rocket Sprockett!

What can I do for you to bring you to my Camelot, and charm you with my iridescence?

What does one get after five days of wanking? A weak end.

#RubbishJokes

If it's your Camelot, do i get to be Guinevere?

But you'll probably run off with Lancelot

•

....he who rarely Cums-a-lot.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What do you call a row of men waiting for a haircut?

A barbecue

Feel better soon flower x sending a wave from down south "

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are two types of people.

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets.

There you go you’re cheering yourself up now!

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

[Removed by poster at 01/07/23 08:05:41]

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

What do you call a sheep with no legs

A cloud

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By *issalignedTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey ?

Because all “proper tea” is theft

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

There's no I in denial.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What do you call a sheep with no legs

A cloud "

Love it

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey ?

Because all “proper tea” is theft

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

What do you call a septic cat?

Pus

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Dwarves and Midgets have very little in common.

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

How do you make a whore moan

Wipe your knob in her curtains

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a joke about trickle down economics…..

…..but 99% of you will never get it.

Miles

Congratulations. Audible groan here from that one"

Right….second try for a chuckle then.

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Ta-dum-tsh.

Miles

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I have a joke about trickle down economics…..

…..but 99% of you will never get it.

Miles

Congratulations. Audible groan here from that one

Right….second try for a chuckle then.

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Ta-dum-tsh.

Miles"

Shakes head.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What do you call a septic cat?

Pus"

Raised a smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a joke about trickle down economics…..

…..but 99% of you will never get it.

Miles

Congratulations. Audible groan here from that one

Right….second try for a chuckle then.

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Ta-dum-tsh.

Miles

Shakes head. "

Ah, but was there a smile along with the shake?

Some of these in the thread have made me laugh. I hope you’re feeling better.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I've just turned up at my premature ejaculators support group ...

Turns out it's tomorrow

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Why is Toblerone triangular shaped?

So it fits in the box!

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I've just turned up at my premature ejaculators support group ...

Turns out it's tomorrow

Great work!!

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I have a joke about trickle down economics…..

…..but 99% of you will never get it.

Miles

Congratulations. Audible groan here from that one

Right….second try for a chuckle then.

What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Ta-dum-tsh.

Miles

Shakes head.

Ah, but was there a smile along with the shake?

Some of these in the thread have made me laugh. I hope you’re feeling better."

I'll prevail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wonko

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Wonko

Awesome!!

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

Where does napoleon keep his armies

Up his slevies

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Where does napoleon keep his armies

Up his slevies "

Thank you, that was acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What goes black white black white?

A penguin rolling down a hill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What goes black white black white red

A penguin in a blender

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What goes black white black white red

A penguin in a blender "

You're on a roll.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Jo.Xx "

What do you call a sheep with no legs

A cloud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky

A stick

What's green and sticky?

A green stick

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person.

So I can find a better girlfriend.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What's brown and sticky

A stick

What's green and sticky?

A green stick "

What's red and sticky ?

A bonfire.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate"

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

What will make an octopus laugh? Tentickles.....sorry lol

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

Sorry to hear about your crap week OP... How's this though?

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress them up as an alter boy

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

"It's been a bit of a week.

I'm tired and uninspired.

I'd be very grateful if fabbers could tell me a joke or two.

Can you raise a smile.

Hope you been better & brighter as the day goes x

I was in a taxi the other day & the driver asked ‘do you mind if I put some music on?

I said ‘not at all’

He said ‘Kiss’?

I said ‘let’s put the music on first and see how we feel’. Lol

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

How do you make Lady gaga angry?? Poke her face...

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a mountain

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"It's been a bit of a week.

I'm tired and uninspired.

I'd be very grateful if fabbers could tell me a joke or two.

Can you raise a smile.

Hope you been better & brighter as the day goes x

I was in a taxi the other day & the driver asked ‘do you mind if I put some music on?

I said ‘not at all’

He said ‘Kiss’?

I said ‘let’s put the music on first and see how we feel’. Lol"

Oh dear.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"How do you make Lady gaga angry?? Poke her face...

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a mountain "

Great start.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Sorry to hear about your crap week OP... How's this though?

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress them up as an alter boy"

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What will make an octopus laugh? Tentickles.....sorry lol"

Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know what propaganda is?

When a man takes a really close look at something

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

2 nuns in a bath. One says Where's the soap. The other replies it does doesn't it.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Do you know what propaganda is?

When a man takes a really close look at something

Nice try.

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"2 nuns in a bath. One says Where's the soap. The other replies it does doesn't it.

A classic.

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

This part of WILTY always makes me smile....

https://youtu.be/B94q7gUu75k

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"How do you make Lady gaga angry?? Poke her face...

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him down a mountain

Great start.

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Oh and another WILTY classic about elephants

https://youtu.be/Q1dqNms-_XA

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Oh and another WILTY classic about elephants

https://youtu.be/Q1dqNms-_XA"

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Peter Kay Cat Share outtakes.. "ickle, ickle dance flap"

https://youtu.be/xduLUIAvWm0

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

And the greatest moment in Taskmaster history - Joe Vs the Potato

https://youtu.be/MelvH3EMGR0

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"And the greatest moment in Taskmaster history - Joe Vs the Potato

https://youtu.be/MelvH3EMGR0"

Thank you.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

What does a man with 2 left feet wear?

Flip flips

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By *inister_Spinster OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"What does a man with 2 left feet wear?

Flip flips

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