FabSwingers.com forum: Manners or ghost

By *nigo Montoya! OP Man
over a year ago

Durham

What's the best thing to do? You swap face pics and there's no immediate attraction. Do you do the polite thing, say sorry and risk abuse for being honest or just ghost and/or block. Unfortunately the latter is more common I find.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Do what feels right for you.

As you say the latter is common and high chance it's what the other person would do. So you might as well. It's still going to be happening.

If that doesn't sit right with you, then be honest but not a prick about it (some can be brutal for no reason).

There is no right or wrong when it comes to this anymore. Somebody will always have an argument why they are right. It is all blurred

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I tend to be more attracted to someone's personality, so it's very rare that a face photo will send me running (more likely that they'll say something I find off-putting).

If we've been chatting for a while and something does put me off further contact I tend to send a "sorry, not for me" type message and then block to avoid abuse or attempted persuasion.

Mind you, I'm not arsed if someone doesn't send me a thanks but no thanks and moves straight to a block. At least I know they aren't interested either way, so don't continue spamming them with unwanted messages.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"What's the best thing to do? You swap face pics and there's no immediate attraction. Do you do the polite thing, say sorry and risk abuse for being honest or just ghost and/or block. Unfortunately the latter is more common I find. "

If there's been a few messages swapped then just say sorry, you're not what I'm looking for, and leave it at that. If you're worried about abuse just wait and see if any comes. If it does, then report and block.

If we're sent an initial message with a pic and there's never been any response from us we will generally just delete and ignore, sometimes block. But that's when there's been no engagement from us at all. If there has been chat up to that point it's a tad off to just ghost and block.

Your choice entirely.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We’ll delete if we haven’t really chatted and not our type but usually we’ll say ‘sorry you aren’t for us’ if we’ve chatted a bit.

Sometimes we haven’t replied and it’s just not gone any further - so maybe they’ve not liked our pics.

You can’t be for everyone - we wouldn’t chase if we didn’t get a response.

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

I'll use yesterday as an example.

Had been toing & froing messages for about a week with another cpl. As per the norm, it was me (Mr) replying to them & same from them.

We swapped face pics as all was going great and agreed to leave it to the ladies to decide if it went any further.

They didn't see what they wanted. Both sides to be fair.

Received the sorry message not for us. No problem. Wished them all the best. No drama.

Step back 2 weeks, similar scenario except it was a no from us.

11 & I'm not kidding, 11 messages later I had to block.

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By *nigo Montoya! OP Man
over a year ago

Durham

It's just a little frustrating at times. I get that it's not the end of the world and everyone isn't everyone else's cuppa on occasion. But if I have been chatting and then it comes to face pics and they don't like, just say. I'm an adult! Say and move on. I guess the lack of manners annoys me!

Thank you for your replies. Interesting to hear other people's experiences and opinion.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve become good friends with people on here even after telling them they’re not for me. It’s still a person at the end of the day, and that person may still have loads in common with you

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By *ee04Man
over a year ago

Essex

I have to say politely decline. Much better than ghost.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I would usually just say if there's no attraction for me ,you can still say it in a decent way.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It's just a little frustrating at times. I get that it's not the end of the world and everyone isn't everyone else's cuppa on occasion. But if I have been chatting and then it comes to face pics and they don't like, just say. I'm an adult! Say and move on. I guess the lack of manners annoys me!

Thank you for your replies. Interesting to hear other people's experiences and opinion. "

Sending them a polite message should never be an issue.

Unless they killed your father. In which case they should expect a “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die” response.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If face pics had been sent then I usually do reply or if there's been a little chat beforehand.

Mrs

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By *nigo Montoya! OP Man
over a year ago

Durham

Obi, you have experience in attempting to kill a father in a certain movie franchise, so you're opinion must certainly heeded!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I risk abuse, at least he actually bothered to send me a face pic first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes people just block cause it's the easiest way out of further communication, the most important thing is NOT to worry or let it get to you if it happens , of course if you yourself is faced with the same thing the boot is on the other foot and how you deal with it is of course up to yourself and you yourself might find yourself blocking other people .. decisions... decisions..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do as you would be done by.

If you like being ghosted yourself, then ghost.

If you like honesty then be honest and accept other being honest towards you too.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

If we have chatted for a while then I'd say sorry. If it was sent in a first message then depending on the profile and message I would either just delete or say I'm not interested as well.If I got a message back after that and I see it is abusive then it's just delete and block and a sigh of relief that I was right in saying no anyhow.

I would find just blocking after chatting for a while and getting to the point of exchanging face pics (I won't share one early on in a chat and I don't expect anyone else to) would be unfair on the person .

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Very awkward x

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By *entlemanFoxMan
over a year ago

North East / London

Having experienced the West Belfast charm school in my youth:

Me: Good Morning

Local Resident: Not since you turned up

I don't let much bother me.

I would always reply if there had been some conversation. Equally, if someone says 'No thanks', I will always wish them the best.

I will not change the way I behave because someone else might or does behave badly.

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By *nigo Montoya! OP Man
over a year ago

Durham

[Removed by poster at 29/06/23 14:22:52]

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By *nigo Montoya! OP Man
over a year ago

Durham

"Having experienced the West Belfast charm school in my youth:

Me: Good Morning

Local Resident: Not since you turned up

I don't let much bother me.

100% this.

I'm not going to change who I am and how I behave due to the behaviour of people on fab.

Maybe manners will catch on

I would always reply if there had been some conversation. Equally, if someone says 'No thanks', I will always wish them the best.

I will not change the way I behave because someone else might or does behave badly."

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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Manners always.ghosting is easy,or rather, lazy.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

What would be some polite ways of telling someone you don't like their face?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would be some polite ways of telling someone you don't like their face? "

You're nice just not really my type.

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

What would be some polite ways of telling someone you don't like their face? "

Just say sorry not for me, even a no thank you is better than nothing at all.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

What would be some polite ways of telling someone you don't like their face? "

"I'm sorry, there is no attraction there, I'm not feeling it."

That's polite, it will always be polite. The way in which it is said is polite and respectful but the subject will always be brutal and sting to most.

It is not a nice thing to hear/read, but that does not mean it's not a nice thing to be told.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

If your mannerable then they think you are interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've spoke to someone for ages, got on, sent a pic then the dreaded silence.

Much rather someone said your not my type, no offence taken by me.

I'm a big boy... or I'm not and that was the problem

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By *ezebel100Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I’ve become good friends with people on here even after telling them they’re not for me. It’s still a person at the end of the day, and that person may still have loads in common with you

I've made a good male friend on here after saying no thanks, it wasn't his photo we actually met but our schedules don't align.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’ve swapped pics then manners

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By *lltheboostCouple
over a year ago

Shefford

Manners, always.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Unfortunately the attraction isn’t there for us.

Have a nice day and happy fabbing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners make the man (or woman, or them)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I politely (and I hope kindly) tell them. I’d hope others would extend me the same courtesy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I politely say no thank you. I wouldn't ever just block someone under those circumstances

Mrs C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not afraid of someone cussing me out. But completely understand why people wouldn’t want to receive abuse so I support people doing whatever they want in these situations

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Manners make the man (or woman, or them)"
or fisherthem

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