FabSwingers.com forum: dom males

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From that then is there a psychological problem, as you put it, with a submissive woman?

I'm openly submissive in the right hands and until very recently had a dominant and am fairly confident that I don't have a psychological problem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im very dom but it dont make me a bully.. Some men are dom and are amazing to talk too..

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By *ecretsRmineWoman
over a year ago

gatwickish (yes that means near Gatwick)

its each to their own, that's there preference. There are many fetish out there it does not mean everyone has psychological issues just because its not your cuppa tea.

Infact most ppl in bdsm play by the Safe, sane and consensual rule !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dom men are here for submissives

its not all about extreme kinks nor bdsm!!

Big brush that & I think you may run short on tar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here. "

Seriously?

The trouble with speaking from a position of total ignorance is that it only serve to highlight that lack of knowledge

I can;t be bothered to even begin to debate the points and assume that this thread is just a poor attempt at trolling.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

Seriously?

The trouble with speaking from a position of total ignorance is that it only serve to highlight that lack of knowledge

I can;t be bothered to even begin to debate the points and assume that this thread is just a poor attempt at trolling."

Spent more time answering than I would have!

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

I'm not even going to comment

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

Seriously?

The trouble with speaking from a position of total ignorance is that it only serve to highlight that lack of knowledge

I can;t be bothered to even begin to debate the points and assume that this thread is just a poor attempt at trolling.

Spent more time answering than I would have!

I'm with you both on this one!

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

Seriously?

The trouble with speaking from a position of total ignorance is that it only serve to highlight that lack of knowledge

I can;t be bothered to even begin to debate the points and assume that this thread is just a poor attempt at trolling."

Quite right. What a load of nonsense, OP. Learn something about BDSM. It's nothing to do with bullying.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think there are men that would like to sell themselves as a dominants but don't really know what it means. Some do.

It's not something I know a lot about but as with all preferences if their preference doesn't match mine then it will always be a no.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I know nothing about it either so I can't comment.

I hate getting told off though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think the OP should be lambasted, I think perhaps educated about D/S. I do think though that you could be careful to not offend those of us who enjoy D/S by saying these men (and therefore) the women have psychological problems.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I don't think the OP should be lambasted, I think perhaps educated about D/S. I do think though that you could be careful to not offend those of us who enjoy D/S by saying these men (and therefore) the women have psychological problems. "

I don't think the OP has been lambasted, however, I do think they should never have started a post they have no idea about, and then not revisit....Just my opinion of course, but then I would only start a post I thought I had knowledge of and admit if I was wrong after it was proven, just a thought

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

My Sir didn't brand himself a Dom on here we do now as we are a dom sub couple but he didn't feel the need to shout it from the roof tops. He takes amazing care of me and my relationship with him is far from me being bullied he has done everything he can to make sure I'm happy. Bdsm is nothing to do with being bullied everything we do is safe sane and consensual between me and him and I can say no to anything. I suggest you look into the lifestyle before making vile assumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here. "

You REALLY don't get it do?

You don't take THEM to the cleaners, you take their suit to the cleaners... and don't forget to collect it again when it's done!!

seriously though... what makes you think Dominent men are gay?

This thread is funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it mean that Dommes are bullies too?

sorry op....thats a female that dominates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it mean that Dommes are bullies too?

sorry op....thats a female that dominates

Lesbians obviously!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I myself am neither Dom nor submissive. My boundaries are simple. However having been in this world over 3 years I have seen many things and I respect what ever others are into... I wonder if perhaps you may have taken '50 shades of grey' to seriously and is was written as fiction! Needless to say and please don't take offence but if a man contacted me and asked if I would wrap him up in a nappy and asked me to call him mummy, I may not quiet understand the meaning of that. But would be interested to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

Seriously?

The trouble with speaking from a position of total ignorance is that it only serve to highlight that lack of knowledge

I can;t be bothered to even begin to debate the points and assume that this thread is just a poor attempt at trolling."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I consider myself dominant but I am polite and very gentle, I just really enjoy taking control and getting a women to cry out whatever the hell I ask her too its so much fun, espically with virgins they don't perform to well but such an enjoyable experience to make them think your a god ^^, also I am not a wimp in real life I am fully qualified and trained security guard and I can assure you I aint gay, two men or more does nothing for me

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"My Sir didn't brand himself a Dom on here we do now as we are a dom sub couple but he didn't feel the need to shout it from the roof tops. He takes amazing care of me and my relationship with him is far from me being bullied he has done everything he can to make sure I'm happy. Bdsm is nothing to do with being bullied everything we do is safe sane and consensual between me and him and I can say no to anything. I suggest you look into the lifestyle before making vile assumptions. "

It's so nice to hear this, amen!

We were SSC, then we got that much clobber that mildly mamed that we had to go RACK instead

... You know how it is

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it mean that Dommes are bullies too?

sorry op....thats a female that dominates

Lesbians obviously!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I consider myself dominant but I am polite and very gentle, I just really enjoy taking control and getting a women to cry out whatever the hell I ask her too its so much fun, espically with virgins they don't perform to well but such an enjoyable experience to make them think your a god ^^, also I am not a wimp in real life I am fully qualified and trained security guard and I can assure you I aint gay, two men or more does nothing for me"

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

You'll be next on his to dom list...being a virgin and all

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

20 year old Dom to virgins?!! Virgins plural?!!

Yeah...ok!

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

It's so nice to hear this, amen!

We were SSC, then we got that much clobber that mildly mamed that we had to go RACK instead

... You know how it is

Wolf

"
Oh we do we are accumulating more and more stuff after I lost 12years of stuff when my ex moved out. That's something else Sir loves is shopping especially for the toy trunk. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

You'll be next on his to dom list...being a virgin and all

xx"

Praise him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

20 year old Dom to virgins?!! Virgins plural?!!

Yeah...ok! "

Now now, play nicely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

20 year old Dom to virgins?!! Virgins plural?!!

Yeah...ok!

Now now, play nicely!

Aaw c'mon guys, there's always a thread or two here from a single virgin guy ... I guess they know who to contact now

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm sorry to tell you this God, but it's a well know FACT that most security men are actually homosexuals, especially the ones that have qualifications

20 year old Dom to virgins?!! Virgins plural?!!

Yeah...ok!

Now now, play nicely!

I've got to bow out now as I just don't trust myself lol

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

It's so nice to hear this, amen!

We were SSC, then we got that much clobber that mildly mamed that we had to go RACK instead

... You know how it is

Wolf

Oh we do we are accumulating more and more stuff after I lost 12years of stuff when my ex moved out. That's something else Sir loves is shopping especially for the toy trunk. Lol."

On losing the 12 years of stuff

On going shopping with Sir

A trunk with a purpose, sounds good to me!

Wolf

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

It's so nice to hear this, amen!

We were SSC, then we got that much clobber that mildly mamed that we had to go RACK instead

... You know how it is

Wolf

Oh we do we are accumulating more and more stuff after I lost 12years of stuff when my ex moved out. That's something else Sir loves is shopping especially for the toy trunk. Lol.

On losing the 12 years of stuff

On going shopping with Sir

A trunk with a purpose, sounds good to me!

Wolf

"
its coming along nicely now Including custom made cuffs which I love. So someone tell me how he's a bully?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I engage in dom/sub play with my fb. It is not a genuine dom/sub relationship by any means - just a way of playing on occasion. He is certainly not a bully and I am a pretty dominant character in my daily life. It's just nice to relinquish that sometimes. Very stress-relieving, in fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignorance is bliss to some people .. Maybe the OP should Google what a D/S relationship is then he will not talk so much rubbish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

I would happily have another dom but I'm a picky person so finding the right dom for me is not easy. It's about trusting the dominant and I think its important for the OP to realise that in a d/s relationship the person with the real power is the submissive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am going to do something that may shock many on here... I am going to say that if the OP has been contacted by the same wannabe so called dominants that have contacted me... Then I can understand where she is coming from.

Unfortunately there is always going to be those men ( and women I guess) that hide behind the guise of bdsm to manipulate and bully people that are looking for that sort of lifestyle.

Some people will always look to the weak... and there are some submissives that I have spoken with who make me want to cry with their reasons for wanting this lifestyle...

However, I would say that weak submissives are in the minority. However their are some people moving into the scene for whatever reasons that may get picked up by a bully hiding behind the title of a dominant.

However, I would not say that a guy that is really dominant is suffering from anything... although I do almost find it the correct balance of nature for me... ( now shying against it)

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I must give the OP credit for a very unique look at me thread well done !!! As for the content of the post I can only assume you have a very fulfilling life given your blatant narrow minded attitude.... Now where is that Chinese takeaway menu I'm going to order a cheese Olmlet !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

Any female submissives that I know are strong independnent women who choose to hand over power and control during a D/s exchange, based on mutual respect and trust. No bullying or coersion involved at all

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here. "

Recently any mail I receive includes the word Dom... I don't know whether its a compliment it not, if they have expectations above what I can give or if in fact my profile does say in a Dom, which it doesn't.

Whichever, it seems people are looking, Dom or not

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

...and there you have it!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

...and there you have it!

spot on..

the sub is the one in control, most of the wannabe's and others post that feckin book dont seem to grasp that concept..

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

it cant be 'taken', either by force or by wearing someone down..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

...and there you have it!

spot on..

the sub is the one in control, most of the wannabe's and others post that feckin book dont seem to grasp that concept..

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

it cant be 'taken', either by force or by wearing someone down.."

And once that trust is gone its gone forever. I have done things with my ex dom where technically he had his life in my hands. I don't let just anyone do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust is the key thing... a good dominant can do a lot of good.. a bad one can ruin a subs trust in others for ever..

Bit like any "normal" relationship... you have to have trust.. as without its impossible..

its why I could never be a play sub..

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here. "
I think you may referring to Pseudo doms the ones that frequent internet sites looking for "subs"...totally different to the real thing.....do some research also as a dominant male is not a bully, and a are far from wimps, if you would like me to introduce you to the world of BDSM just holler.....you may be surprised as to how ignorant you actually are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not into bdsm though can be curious. saying that, i like my men to be sexually dominant and know what they are doing in the bedroom. Bullying doesnt come into either. Just respect and trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Im not into bdsm though can be curious. saying that, i like my men to be sexually dominant and know what they are doing in the bedroom. Bullying doesnt come into either. Just respect and trust. "
Ya see im not just on about roleplay, some live the lifestyle some just use it as roleplay, both involve trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be Dom but I ain't a bully and trust respect and understanding is important. I take it from the op his wife is NOT submissive if she eats so called doms for breakfast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not into bdsm though can be curious. saying that, i like my men to be sexually dominant and know what they are doing in the bedroom. Bullying doesnt come into either. Just respect and trust. Ya see im not just on about roleplay, some live the lifestyle some just use it as roleplay, both involve trust.

There's such an amazing feeling when you live it. I did a roleplay session after my ex dom released me and it wasn't the same but it made me realise quite how much I miss being someone's sub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can be Dom but I ain't a bully and trust respect and understanding is important. I take it from the op his wife is NOT submissive if she eats so called doms for breakfast "

I was a slave, yet ate most dominants for breakfast...

As a sub always needs a guy more dominant than herself.. for me that level is set high..

However I think its more she was getting contacted by the doms that have read a little... and like the title and havent a clue that being dominant is not so much what you do.. but how you are...

I can do a act that some may see as submissive, yet to me its a very powerful act..

Its not very black and white this lifestyle... I hope the original poster has learned something from the posts on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never have classed myself as a Dom. I still don't really. I am in tune with what my partner wants and craves.

it just so happens that we both get off on her getting what she wants.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I would never have classed myself as a Dom. I still don't really. I am in tune with what my partner wants and craves.

it just so happens that we both get off on her getting what she wants. "

there are probably guys out there who tink they are Doms because they have read a bit of 50 shades, or watching some of the more violent BDSM porn and thought....fuck yeah, i can do that. In reality they cat and anyone with an ounce of bris will spot them and kick them to the curb.

as has been said before trust is of the utmost importance in tis as well is a mutual gratification from what you are doing. i would never want my partner to do something to me just because i like it and i know he would never expect me to do something i am not comfortable with just because he wants it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

...and there you have it!

spot on..

the sub is the one in control, most of the wannabe's and others post that feckin book dont seem to grasp that concept..

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

it cant be 'taken', either by force or by wearing someone down.."

Totally agree with the above but in defence of the OP - there are a lot of wannabe doms around (as opposed to Doms) they suddenly became prolific on the site as result of the infamous books with no insight into the dynamic of the relationship between a Dom/me and his/her sub.

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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

i doubt any REAL Dom would contact the OP as there is nothing on the profile or interest list to suggest they interested or open minded about kink

(susie)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

important for the OP to realise that in a d/s relationship the person with the real power is the submissive. "

This

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am as close to a homosexual as you get without being one... But I am definitely not sub.

Neither am I Dom..

Just a bender with a limp handshake that would deck someone if they tried...

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Hmmm...

Clearly there is a huge lack of understanding here, a little research goes a long way. Your assumptions are just so way off base its offensive. But it is clear that this thread was as much a troll as anything else. For that congratulations it would seem that worked a treat lol.

Really can't be bothered to try and explain. I have never used my Dominant nature when talking to people on here at all. I also believe that those men on here that choose to live that lifestyle and understand what it truely means to be Dominant won't use it on here when talking to others either. Mainly because they don't need to and more importantly they have jack shit to prove to anyone.

Now would someone please point me in the direction of the Submissive virgins? I have a flogger that needs a workout.

P.S. Pain does not have to be part of dominance and submission. But there are a lot of submisives that seem to rather enjoy it.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Just a bender with a limp handshake that would deck someone if they tried..."

i think i just did a little gush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a bender with a limp handshake that would deck someone if they tried...

i think i just did a little gush

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Just a bender with a limp handshake that would deck someone if they tried...

i think i just did a little gush

It is a curse at times...

some say a weak bladder.. I know otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can be Dom but I ain't a bully and trust respect and understanding is important. I take it from the op his wife is NOT submissive if she eats so called doms for breakfast

I was a slave, yet ate most dominants for breakfast...

As a sub always needs a guy more dominant than herself.. for me that level is set high..

However I think its more she was getting contacted by the doms that have read a little... and like the title and havent a clue that being dominant is not so much what you do.. but how you are...

I can do a act that some may see as submissive, yet to me its a very powerful act..

Its not very black and white this lifestyle... I hope the original poster has learned something from the posts on this thread."

The sub Dom scenario as far as I was lead to believe and understand its not the Dom that is in control but the sub which is where the bully aspect might rear its ugly head. As everything is geared for the sole purpose of the subs pleasure. Boundaries are put in place hence the trust. And of course the word that stops all play. Enjoy enjoy enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never had said I had control in my d/s relationship..but I I gave my control over slowly as trust was built..

It would have been impossible to have got me to submit through bullying.. I just would have told him to piss off.

However once I had given up my control I was happier.. I could have course took it back ( which in the end due to a break down of our "normal" relationship I did) but in taking back control I always knew it would end totally that part of us that I felt was so strong.

For me this lifestyle is all about trust... and mutual pleasure but some do not get that a submissive may get pleasure SOLEY from pleasing their dominant.. and that is where sometimes the lack of understanding can come from.

I have done things in my submission that I would never have done outside of that.... I got no physical pleasure other than knowing that my Master was pleased with me..and that in itself was the most amazing reward.

It is hard to understand.. sometimes even now I think to myself ( now I am without a Dom) how could I do that.. but then I remember how it felt... and I know..

There are some bullies out there..but the most dominant men I know just have a look and a manner about them that makes my sub friends go Mmmmmm...

Me I am immune now. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never had said I had control in my d/s relationship..but I I gave my control over slowly as trust was built..

It would have been impossible to have got me to submit through bullying.. I just would have told him to piss off.

It is hard to understand.. sometimes even now I think to myself ( now I am without a Dom) how could I do that.. but then I remember how it felt... and I know..

There are some bullies out there..but the most dominant men I know just have a look and a manner about them that makes my sub friends go Mmmmmm...

Me I am immune now. x"

I miss my sub but had to let her go as things between us in our vanilla life were far from perfect. She would take me back tomorrow but things are not right x

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I know a male called Dom...his mothers fault I guess.

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I shouldn't have just laughed so hard at that! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment. "

I've read them and I've looked at some of the male so called doms.

They are not the manliest looking of men ,so they seem to be making up for something they lack in the real world.a power fantasy.

Fully understand its all fantasy but I'm sure the woman would find it more realistic if the man was not 5'-8" and 10 stone.she could reverse the role and he could do nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment.

I've read them and I've looked at some of the male so called doms.

They are not the manliest looking of men ,so they seem to be making up for something they lack in the real world.a power fantasy.

Fully understand its all fantasy but I'm sure the woman would find it more realistic if the man was not 5'-8" and 10 stone.she could reverse the role and he could do nothing "

good for you

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment.

I've read them and I've looked at some of the male so called doms.

They are not the manliest looking of men ,so they seem to be making up for something they lack in the real world.a power fantasy.

Fully understand its all fantasy but I'm sure the woman would find it more realistic if the man was not 5'-8" and 10 stone.she could reverse the role and he could do nothing "

Why do you think doms have to be big bruisers? Much of D/s play is mental, it's not all spanky spanky ouch ouch you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not even going to waste my time with a meaningful reply as the op clearly can't read but if they can it doesn't seem to register lots of explanation as to what a Dom is but still doesn't get it. Oh we'll maybe all the dominant men need to get themselves some supplements even a course of steroids and get down the gym and beef up ... Then they can truly be a real man .... Oh an don't forget a fast powerful car to make up for what you lack on the trouser department !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not even going to waste my time with a meaningful reply as the op clearly can't read but if they can it doesn't seem to register lots of explanation as to what a Dom is but still doesn't get it. Oh we'll maybe all the dominant men need to get themselves some supplements even a course of steroids and get down the gym and beef up ... Then they can truly be a real man .... Oh an don't forget a fast powerful car to make up for what you lack on the trouser department !!! "

Then they can blame roid rage when they have overstepped the mark. Bit it'll be ok because they were being manly.

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

"I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment.

I've read them and I've looked at some of the male so called doms.

They are not the manliest looking of men ,so they seem to be making up for something they lack in the real world.a power fantasy.

Fully understand its all fantasy but I'm sure the woman would find it more realistic if the man was not 5'-8" and 10 stone.she could reverse the role and he could do nothing "
you still don't get it do you? Admittedly my Sir is 6ft 3 and rather stocky(he needs to be what with me being a tubster) but I've seen huge men submit to petite women we do it because we want to so why would we reverse the roles. Also it's mental domination that completes the picture a mental mind fuck can be just as good. Eveshamgirl got it right too much as I love the ouchie side that's not all of it. I'm a submissive and have been for 13 years however when people meet me they wouldn't guess. I'm quite dominant in everyday life and have had to be doing the work I've done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment.

I've read them and I've looked at some of the male so called doms.

They are not the manliest looking of men ,so they seem to be making up for something they lack

Fully understand its all fantasy but I'm sure the woman would find it more realistic if the man was not 5'-8" and 10 stone.she could reverse the role and he could do nothing

Why do you think doms have to be big bruisers? Much of D/s play is mental, it's not all spanky spanky ouch ouch you know. "

Too right leanne any idiot can try to be a big bad dom but in reality its more about the mental state the wannabes all think the dom has all the control when those who really understand its the sub who has , they set bounderies a good dom just pushes them

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I have to say I'd quite like to know what the OP makes of what the posts on this thread have said in response to their comment.

I've read them and I've looked at some of the male so called doms.

They are not the manliest looking of men ,so they seem to be making up for something they lack in the real world.a power fantasy.

Fully understand its all fantasy but I'm sure the woman would find it more realistic if the man was not 5'-8" and 10 stone.she could reverse the role and he could do nothing "
Thats your reasoning? Really? I was so expecting more than that......

*Femme goes off disappointed again*

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

At one of the LAM's last year there was a talk about beginners BDSM. The guy that gave it, can't remember his name, but was listed on the flyer as Sir something or another.

I'd seen him wandering around the venue, chatting to people, and I thought, no way, not a Dom. He was only a little taller then me, long hair, glasses.

Then he walked into the hall where the talk was taking place. Suddenly he seemed taller, held himself better, and his voice just commanded you listen to him. He didn't raise his voice, but when he started talking, everyone in that room, male, female, sub, master, all stopped talking.

Same with the Domme working alongside him. In jeans and a big hoodie, looked nothing special. But when I saw her later at the after party as Dungeon Master, I was nearly on my knees begging forgiveness for every bad thought I'd had that day!

Being a good Dom/me isn't about your build, your look. It's something that you can't quite put your finger on. It isn't measurable, you can't put it on a CV, you just know it when you see it.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'd be curious to know how the OP sees male subs.

Mine have included - 6ft 2 director of operations for an airline;

6ft director of a software company;

6ft pilot;

5ft 11 doctor;

6ft accountant (own company)...I could go on.

What psychological problems do these men have I wonder?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd be curious to know how the OP sees male subs.

Mine have included - 6ft 2 director of operations for an airline;

6ft director of a software company;

6ft pilot;

5ft 11 doctor;

6ft accountant (own company)...I could go on.

What psychological problems do these men have I wonder?

Maybe you are a scout for the l.a lakers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we should discuss trolls , what makes a troll act as they do ? Do they have something missing in thier life that makes them feel inadequate ? Do they not feel any identity ? Or have a affinity with any social group ? Where they bullied at school ? Or are they just soo narrow minded as to think that if they don't like it or understand it then it must be somehow inferior to the simple insular way they run thier lives ?

I say this as I can only deduce this thread is the work of a troll as surely people with such self indulgent _iews and so closed of to the ways of others don't really exist .....do they ? Or is it just the evolutionary procees has not worked for everyone and in fact we do still have cavemen amongst us ? That being so lets see who has the biggest club then we can begin to sort out some sort of social structure based upon the size of these clubs !!!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

Seriously?

The trouble with speaking from a position of total ignorance is that it only serve to highlight that lack of knowledge

I can;t be bothered to even begin to debate the points and assume that this thread is just a poor attempt at trolling."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know a male called Dom...his mothers fault I guess.

I'm suddenly feeling a slight sense of maternal guilt !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a good Dom/me isn't about your build, your look. It's something that you can't quite put your finger on. It isn't measurable, you can't put it on a CV, you just know it when you see it. "

This is how I feel. A guy doesn't show me his dominance. It's something I just sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite enjoy being treated like im worthless he spits on me and calls me a whore i think reds is mental lolz

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I hope the original poster has learned something from the posts on this thread."

judging by their response i would say not..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At one of the LAM's last year there was a talk about beginners BDSM. The guy that gave it, can't remember his name, but was listed on the flyer as Sir something or another.

I'd seen him wandering around the venue, chatting to people, and I thought, no way, not a Dom. He was only a little taller then me, long hair, glasses.

Being a good Dom/me isn't about your build, your look. It's something that you can't quite put your finger on. It isn't measurable, you can't put it on a CV, you just know it when you see it. "

Excellent description.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion the OP hasn't really read this thread nor understood than us submissives are not brow beaten, forced into something we don't want and put into the situation against our will. Similarly they haven't understood that proper dominants (and I don't mean your fifty shades of shit ones) are not bullies they are nurturing, caring and respectful.

There are some exceptions to both rules but I for one would relish another dominant. I think if you start a thread about something you have no knowledge of and are given advice and information its only courteous to respect people's comments.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Perhaps finding a good dom (and they ARE about) is hard because being a dom can actually be quite hard work? Just a thought

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"Perhaps finding a good dom (and they ARE about) is hard because being a dom can actually be quite hard work? Just a thought

"
spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.because someone is a dom does not mean they have psychological problems, you will probably find they are more sane than you or I .I love to play the dom in a relationship, it is not all about pain and torture its about trust and indulging in lovely sexual fantasies. x x

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here.

"
sorry I put my text n the middle of yours lol. I thoughts start from where I say because you are dom does not mean you have psychological problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

...and there you have it!

spot on..

the sub is the one in control, most of the wannabe's and others post that feckin book dont seem to grasp that concept..

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

it cant be 'taken', either by force or by wearing someone down.."

The ones who think they can, who trot around here and other sites with their demands.... Aren't real Dominants, more what we call " Dimdoms" cos of their lack of grasp of the basic concepts of the D/s dynamic.

Op should block em and read up on the reality of bdsm, talk to real people involved in it.

Christ we aren't all psychos, gimps and wimps. *cough*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is it with males that call themselves 'dom'?

are they hiding some deep routed psychological problem of control over women.

is it a bit like bullying and they like to feel powerful but are a bit wimpish in reality or hiding homosexual tendencies.

we used to get messages from so called dom men and nik would take them to the cleaners if they tried some of the stuff ive read on here. "

Nope. Wrong, wrong wrong.

Any Dom who thinks that 'being Dom' is all about 'Bullying', 'Shouting' and 'slapping her about a bit' is NOT a Dom. He's an asshat who gets his kicks from physically abusing women.

Being Dom is nothing like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps finding a good dom (and they ARE about) is hard because being a dom can actually be quite hard work? Just a thought

Very true. I find mentoring takes a lot of effort but it's worth it. I can imagine being dominant is much harder work.

Then again I've been told good subs are hard to find too. But I think the problem is that because it's so individual that what is a good match for one, won't be for the next person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex dom was not a bully. He nutured my submission and helped me to become a good sub.

...and there you have it!

spot on..

the sub is the one in control, most of the wannabe's and others post that feckin book dont seem to grasp that concept..

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

it cant be 'taken', either by force or by wearing someone down..

Op should block em and read up on the reality of bdsm, talk to real people involved in it.

Christ we aren't all psychos, gimps and wimps. *cough*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again. "
good luck hunni hes out there somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again. good luck hunni hes out there somewhere "

Haha he is but he's going to need to pretty amazing to get my submission but also to get past my big sister sub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again. good luck hunni hes out there somewhere

Haha he is but he's going to need to pretty amazing to get my submission but also to get past my big sister sub. "

To right. I have my pitch fork at the ready... although right now it's aimed at keeping your former dominant away. Grr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again. good luck hunni hes out there somewhere

Haha he is but he's going to need to pretty amazing to get my submission but also to get past my big sister sub.

To right. I have my pitch fork at the ready... although right now it's aimed at keeping your former dominant away. Grr

Y'all throw in some flaming torches with those pitchforks and you've really got an whole 'angry village mob' thing happening there!

Now, storm the castle and kill the monster!

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again. good luck hunni hes out there somewhere

Haha he is but he's going to need to pretty amazing to get my submission but also to get past my big sister sub.

To right. I have my pitch fork at the ready... although right now it's aimed at keeping your former dominant away. Grr

Y'all throw in some flaming torches with those pitchforks and you've really got an whole 'angry village mob' thing happening there!

Now, storm the castle and kill the monster!

"
in hysterical voice "burn the witch "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust is earned and is to be treasured and respected..

And as I am finding, once that trust is broken there's no finding it again. good luck hunni hes out there somewhere

Haha he is but he's going to need to pretty amazing to get my submission but also to get past my big sister sub.

To right. I have my pitch fork at the ready... although right now it's aimed at keeping your former dominant away. Grr

Y'all throw in some flaming torches with those pitchforks and you've really got an whole 'angry village mob' thing happening there!

Now, storm the castle and kill the monster!

We do not need a pitchfork armed angry village mob. Lol

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"I shouldn't have just laughed so hard at that! X"

LOL glad you liked ..

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Imagine if you were called Dominic and were a dom but weren't very intelligent.

You would be Dom dumb dom which is almost like a tune isn't it.

If Dom was also a bell ringer you could possibly add ding dong to the title etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine if you were called Dominic and were a dom but weren't very intelligent.

You would be Dom dumb dom which is almost like a tune isn't it.

If Dom was also a bell ringer you could possibly add ding dong to the title etc."

Oh funky you're so special (I do prefer this avatar)

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Imagine if you were called Dominic and were a dom but weren't very intelligent.

You would be Dom dumb dom which is almost like a tune isn't it.

If Dom was also a bell ringer you could possibly add ding dong to the title etc.

Oh funky you're so special (I do prefer this avatar)"

Thank you for not putting special in inverted commas. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine if you were called Dominic and were a dom but weren't very intelligent.

You would be Dom dumb dom which is almost like a tune isn't it.

If Dom was also a bell ringer you could possibly add ding dong to the title etc.

Oh funky you're so special (I do prefer this avatar)

Thank you for not putting special in inverted commas. x"

I mean special in a good way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to confess I've never got the whole BDSM thing and find the sub/dom relationship way over my head. Am always open to being taught though

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

"Perhaps finding a good dom (and they ARE about) is hard because being a dom can actually be quite hard work? Just a thought

Very true. I find mentoring takes a lot of effort but it's worth it. I can imagine being dominant is much harder work.

Then again I've been told good subs are hard to find too. But I think the problem is that because it's so individual that what is a good match for one, won't be for the next person."

I'd given up and was just looking some top and bottom play but then we met and the chemistry was amazing he knows exactly how to handle me. Including with kid gloves when needed and hugs then with the crop paddles and flogger when I need that too. A good Dom is hard to find but they are out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/13 16:49:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps finding a good dom (and they ARE about) is hard because being a dom can actually be quite hard work? Just a thought

Very true. I find mentoring takes a lot of effort but it's worth it. I can imagine being dominant is much harder work.

Then again I've been told good subs are hard to find too. But I think the problem is that because it's so individual that what is a good match for one, won't be for the next person.

At the moment I'm missing the soft side more than the hard side so to speak. There's something very special about lying in your dom's arms after a heavy session knowing that you are protected.

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