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Hearing vannila friends talk

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By *umbriaman1962 OP   Man
over a year ago

outside of penrith

Been few time I been either pub or work come across things been said

One was a man maybe in 40s at the most. Something said about ladies in stockings. He was very brunt wearing them things is for tarts etc. I never want see my wife dress as a tart. We all just looked and said nothing.

The other was someone was making joke about if see wife shaving I know she planning use having fun.

One man had full on go at him calling him pedo if he liked wife shaving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you put your views across when that happens? Do you try to bust the myths?

Tones

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By *umbriaman1962 OP   Man
over a year ago

outside of penrith

When with vanilla friend find better to say nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure that's through the vanilla lifestyle, or completely out of touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had to bite my tongue many times, hearing guys with no experience in this lifestyle chatting about things they get up to or fantasies they have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not "vanilla" , this is why it gets a bad rep. These men just sound like twats

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By *educing_EmCouple
over a year ago

Tipperary


"This is not "vanilla" , this is why it gets a bad rep. These men just sound like twats "

Absolutely agree

Em x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"This is not "vanilla" , this is why it gets a bad rep. These men just sound like twats "

^ this

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Been few time I been either pub or work come across things been said

One was a man maybe in 40s at the most. Something said about ladies in stockings. He was very brunt wearing them things is for tarts etc. I never want see my wife dress as a tart. We all just looked and said nothing.

The other was someone was making joke about if see wife shaving I know she planning use having fun.

One man had full on go at him calling him pedo if he liked wife shaving. "

Ok. Thanks for the update.

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By *apidaryMan
over a year ago

Chipping Norton


"This is not "vanilla" , this is why it gets a bad rep. These men just sound like twats "

Thoroughly agree. Nothing wrong with vanilla any more than with other flavours of life, and like them it's not an excuse for bigotry or contempt or exploitation or thinking of other people as second class.

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I once walked into the staff room for my tea break, as I open the door some called out "Hay have you ever been airtight" I instantly answered "yes of course I have " the whole room went deadly quiet as they were all trying to work out if I was joking or not. I had a lovely cuppa and went back to work.

Sometimes it's fun messing with vanilla people's minds. No one plucked the courage to ask me. X

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ve left that many breadcrumbs as hints with my mates when they talk all vanilla stuff that they should call me Hansel and Gretel

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Men (by and large!) struggle with discussing anything regards sex, with the exception of anything I class as misogynistic in my opinion..

Other than the guys Y and I have met together with obvious intention, I had no one to discuss anything of the lifestyle with, but she did, made the decision to confide in 2 of my closest friends, who initially had a closed stereotypical reaction.

But, having known me for over 30 years, the love I have for Y and the positive effect she's had on my life after the loss of of my first borns mother to cancer, a couple of redundancies, painful divorce etc..

They've listened, appreciated my honesty, and slowly opened up to me with issues that would previously have been glossed over and frankly I'm overjoyed..

They'll never try the lifestyle in my opinion and I will never suggest they should, but the honesty has brought us closer..

There's still a huge stigma guys carry and the bravado is a mask for what's going on with them I feel..

Just smile and change the subject..

Apologies for the rambling. Mr x

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"I once walked into the staff room for my tea break, as I open the door some called out "Hay have you ever been airtight" I instantly answered "yes of course I have " the whole room went deadly quiet as they were all trying to work out if I was joking or not. I had a lovely cuppa and went back to work.

Sometimes it's fun messing with vanilla people's minds. No one plucked the courage to ask me. X"

You and my girl would get on!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not sure I'm keen on this us and them attitude. Swingers can be as closed minded or even more so than people who aren't in to it.

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By *apidaryMan
over a year ago

Chipping Norton


"Men (by and large!) struggle with discussing anything regards sex, with the exception of anything I class as misogynistic in my opinion..

Other than the guys Y and I have met together with obvious intention, I had no one to discuss anything of the lifestyle with, but she did, made the decision to confide in 2 of my closest friends, who initially had a closed stereotypical reaction.

But, having known me for over 30 years, the love I have for Y and the positive effect she's had on my life after the loss of of my first borns mother to cancer, a couple of redundancies, painful divorce etc..

They've listened, appreciated my honesty, and slowly opened up to me with issues that would previously have been glossed over and frankly I'm overjoyed..

They'll never try the lifestyle in my opinion and I will never suggest they should, but the honesty has brought us closer..

There's still a huge stigma guys carry and the bravado is a mask for what's going on with them I feel..

Just smile and change the subject..

Apologies for the rambling. Mr x"

That's an infinitely finer & more sympathetic answer than mine. You're right, people talking in an offensive or stupid way is often a mark of them being stuck for how to talk more honestly and frankly about such a key part of life, not of them being offensive and stupid at heart. Some conversations, about sex or emotions, aren't always easy for any of us.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

The most drama is from mono nilla wives, even if you look at her man she's getting aggy, so much jealousy

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"Men (by and large!) struggle with discussing anything regards sex, with the exception of anything I class as misogynistic in my opinion..

Other than the guys Y and I have met together with obvious intention, I had no one to discuss anything of the lifestyle with, but she did, made the decision to confide in 2 of my closest friends, who initially had a closed stereotypical reaction.

But, having known me for over 30 years, the love I have for Y and the positive effect she's had on my life after the loss of of my first borns mother to cancer, a couple of redundancies, painful divorce etc..

They've listened, appreciated my honesty, and slowly opened up to me with issues that would previously have been glossed over and frankly I'm overjoyed..

They'll never try the lifestyle in my opinion and I will never suggest they should, but the honesty has brought us closer..

There's still a huge stigma guys carry and the bravado is a mask for what's going on with them I feel..

Just smile and change the subject..

Apologies for the rambling. Mr x

That's an infinitely finer & more sympathetic answer than mine. You're right, people talking in an offensive or stupid way is often a mark of them being stuck for how to talk more honestly and frankly about such a key part of life, not of them being offensive and stupid at heart. Some conversations, about sex or emotions, aren't always easy for any of us."

Thank you!

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"I'm not sure I'm keen on this us and them attitude. Swingers can be as closed minded or even more so than people who aren't in to it. "

Very true!

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"I've had to bite my tongue many times, hearing guys with no experience in this lifestyle chatting about things they get up to or fantasies they have.

"

Oh yes!!! But do you get the 'if only you knew' smile?!?

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"I'm not sure I'm keen on this us and them attitude. Swingers can be as closed minded or even more so than people who aren't in to it. "

I could not agree more with this!

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"The most drama is from mono nilla wives, even if you look at her man she's getting aggy, so much jealousy "

Probably best avoid checking out married men, especially when their wives are present!

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Been few time I been either pub or work come across things been said

One was a man maybe in 40s at the most. Something said about ladies in stockings. He was very brunt wearing them things is for tarts etc. I never want see my wife dress as a tart. We all just looked and said nothing.

The other was someone was making joke about if see wife shaving I know she planning use having fun.

One man had full on go at him calling him pedo if he liked wife shaving. "
Thats just everyday life talk nothing to do with vanilla or neopolitan thats about his wife and how he doesn't want her to flirt or look good to other guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vanilla, chocolate chip, stinging nettle and olive every flavour has something going for it and is a matter of taste.

I personally perversion is another’s normal that’s life. Enjoy what you enjoy and others will do the same.

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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

If they were the views of my friends, they wouldn’t be my friends views.

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